I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
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Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
killjoy.
he's not here. immigration issues on the turkish side with regards to his passport (aforementioned long story) resulted in him being detained. don't quite know what's next, haven't heard from him in more than 10 hours. but i'm sure everything is fine.
i am not worried or sad- if he is deported back home and can't leave immediately, i might head down to melbourne this weekend. yes, just for the weekend. just to see him. i would never have done this in another lifetime, but this one is different- his faith and assurance gives me strength, and i feel no qualms with doing things previously unthinkable. anything to be with him.
the more interesting bit of today would be in my sleepy state in the morning and totally clueless as to what i could do to help- i did the only thing i could think of; call my sole contact in the foreign affairs. yes. suresh.
he was helpful, but he told me what i kinda suspected, which was there isn't much the singapore side can do since he isn't singaporean. but he did direct me to the aussie consulate which i wouldn't have immediately thought of given the fuzzy state of my brain at 5 a.m. so it was good.
he didn't recognize my voice. perhaps my number didn't appear on his phone due to him being overseas, or perhaps he has deleted it. it doesn't really matter. i realized i was okay when i was halfway through the day before i realized that i hadn't hoped or wished for a follow- up text or email from him- i am truly over him, it seems. alhamdullilah.
it was a bit sad to climb the stairs up home tonight; i was so looking forward to doing that with him. but all in good time. what warms my heart is that the hostel guys have been in touch with me as well, concerned and asking if there's anything they could do to help. and mum okayed the possibility of me going over for the weekend if needs be. hello world, meet amazing guy.
so for now i shall sit and wait- on one hand it's easy, it's been nearly 2 months since i last saw him, so what's a few days more (days hor, not weeks please!). but on the other hand it makes it all the more harder knowing he was so, so close. but insya'allah, yes? there's no reason to lose faith now.
to seal the deal (like it wasn't already)- this was him upon knowing he will most likely be deported back to australia. i replied saying that's not too bad, he can always sort out travel/ passport from there. his reply:
it's a few thousand kilometres too far from you.
you see what i mean?
you got me wrapped around your little finger
if this is love, it's everything i hoped it would be
i am not worried or sad- if he is deported back home and can't leave immediately, i might head down to melbourne this weekend. yes, just for the weekend. just to see him. i would never have done this in another lifetime, but this one is different- his faith and assurance gives me strength, and i feel no qualms with doing things previously unthinkable. anything to be with him.
the more interesting bit of today would be in my sleepy state in the morning and totally clueless as to what i could do to help- i did the only thing i could think of; call my sole contact in the foreign affairs. yes. suresh.
he was helpful, but he told me what i kinda suspected, which was there isn't much the singapore side can do since he isn't singaporean. but he did direct me to the aussie consulate which i wouldn't have immediately thought of given the fuzzy state of my brain at 5 a.m. so it was good.
he didn't recognize my voice. perhaps my number didn't appear on his phone due to him being overseas, or perhaps he has deleted it. it doesn't really matter. i realized i was okay when i was halfway through the day before i realized that i hadn't hoped or wished for a follow- up text or email from him- i am truly over him, it seems. alhamdullilah.
it was a bit sad to climb the stairs up home tonight; i was so looking forward to doing that with him. but all in good time. what warms my heart is that the hostel guys have been in touch with me as well, concerned and asking if there's anything they could do to help. and mum okayed the possibility of me going over for the weekend if needs be. hello world, meet amazing guy.
so for now i shall sit and wait- on one hand it's easy, it's been nearly 2 months since i last saw him, so what's a few days more (days hor, not weeks please!). but on the other hand it makes it all the more harder knowing he was so, so close. but insya'allah, yes? there's no reason to lose faith now.
to seal the deal (like it wasn't already)- this was him upon knowing he will most likely be deported back to australia. i replied saying that's not too bad, he can always sort out travel/ passport from there. his reply:
it's a few thousand kilometres too far from you.
you see what i mean?
you got me wrapped around your little finger
if this is love, it's everything i hoped it would be