being obscure clearly.

Monday, April 30, 2007

krisskross will make you jump, jump.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

me in various stages of jumping. i like the ones where i was actually in mid- air, the one where i looked like i am singing in a rock concert, the one with hair in my mouth and the one where i look like i'm trying to squeeze out a huge fart. vote for your favourites now!

that said, two things received closure yesterday, for better or worse. and you gotta love it when that happens. in school 'studying'. am in an enclosed room, so unless i start jumping of tables to land on many chairs, no photo ops today. :D

Sunday, April 29, 2007

school!

nehneh drove us to school to do a bit of studying on this humid horrid sunday. mosquitos doth invade when i tryeth to focus on my lecture notes. pah.

rather fruitful, i finished going through all my notes and can start doing selected readings. :D

i could have achieved more if i was not busy trying to do handstands. which, among other things, resulted in a scraped elbow and a rush of blood to the head.

also tried to capture some jumping shots. ended up with lots of shots of fiza with hair in her face and arms in weird angles. i forgot to bring my cable for insta- photoblogging and there's no internet at home, so i drew this.

yup, that pretty much sums it up. as coldplay said, blame it on the rush of blood to the head.

Friday, April 27, 2007

catch my disease!

sociology of family at 1 p.m. manageable paper, especially since it was open book. mistake: drank hot caramel tea prior to paper cuz i needed something to wake me up (at 1, yes). by 2 p.m. i was madly scribbling away cuz... i wanted to pee. it was with much relief that i finished my (supposed) last sentence 5 minutes before the end. when i raised my hand the lecturer/ invigilator/ vice- dean of arts looked at me questioningly cuz no one is allowed to leave the exam hall 15 minute to the end. "toilet!" was madly whispered, she told me to "RUN!", and relieved i was. i even made it back in time to write one more sentence. :D

went back to my room and fell asleep till 7.30 p.m. exams are so draining. one more to go and i'm dundo. while i usually screw the last paper, this time the last paper is qualitative research aka module taught by my favouritest prof, so there's alot of incentive to do well. hurr. gana is so hot man.

went to vivo for dinner at longjohn, walked about, looked at shoes at river island (yum) then hot chocolate and iced vanilla latte at starbucks. :)

you know the end is oh so near when there's time for a coffee break. i miss my starbucks.

in other news, i have my holidays roughly planned out, anyone who wants to join me/ interested to kepo- kepo MSN me okay! i am very open to suggestions/ 'hitchhikers' etc.

my head is a box full of nothing,
and that's the way i like it

Thursday, April 26, 2007

there's something about you now.

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

my anchor amidst insanity.

paper at 1 p.m. tomorrow. the end is teasingly near. i am in the zone, and if anyone dares disrupt my system of mugging right now, i just might snip your head off.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

madhouse.

its been madness. mugging, exams, mugging, mugging, bleeding stitches, and 2 a.m. hunt for a 24 hours clinic. ended up buying plasters from prime supermarket, which is 24 hours.

i haven't done a single reading for this thursday's open book exam. call me crazy, but i am at peace with myself. haha.

okay back to mugging. then futbol later, yay!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

addendum.

chelsea is so stupid. stupiddd stupiddd stupiddd. no, i don't REALLY want them to win EPL. of course not. are you mad? but nor do i want MANURE to win. i don't want anyone to win the EPL except liverpool or some almost- relegated team.

but what to do. must face reality. so chelsea is stupid. and if they win the damn cup, man u is more stupid, but i always knew that.

23rd, 26th, 2nd. AND THEN O- V- OVAH! OVAH. OVAH. i used to save janice dickinson's famous word for the actual end of exams but in case you can't tell this time the end is highly anticipated, and ovah hence shall be used repeatedly.

hungry la.

~~pretty~~ smelly conversations.

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
nehnehhhhh
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
smellyyyyyy
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
wheeeheee
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
wheeehoooo
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
wheehoooo

suresh says:
nehneh gf also smelly!!
suresh says:
whooohooohooo
suresh says:
wheee whooohooo

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
noooo i just bathe

suresh says:
so did i!
suresh says:
i had a bath after you!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
but you're STILL smelly! haha!

suresh says:
nooooooo

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
yes!
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
i am queen!
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
and king!
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
and champion!
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
so i am right.

suresh says:
ermm
suresh says:
i am...
suresh says:
the super duper king of all champions!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
noooooooooo nevaaahhhhh!

suresh says:
alwazzzzzzzz forevaaaaaaaaaaa

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
eei

suresh says:
eh thats damn...

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
nehneh sounds like a chink!

suresh says:
yaaaa!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
YOU CHINK!

suresh says:
damn nonek!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
YOU CHINKIAN!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
what is nonek?
fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
nvm

suresh says:
dunno

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
YOU NONEK CHINKIAN!

suresh says:
just invented it
suresh says:
it seemed to fit the description i was looking for

make that pretty smelly conversations. :D i love youps nehneh!

excuse the mindlessness of it all, and welcome one and all, to the humble abode of mugging side- effects. includes random rants about NUS, CORS (already, yes), quitting school, leaving Singapore and burning down pretty much the world.

okay wait conversation just got better.

suresh says:
we're still doing lunch tml yes?

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
yes!

suresh says:
ok good
suresh sent 4/22/2007 9:01 PM:
nehneh gf! Dead men tell no tales.Yo, ho, ho me hearties.\ Arghhh. Ye scallywags be takin a long walk on a short plank.Hang the jib, ya scallywag. i love ye!whooohooo Time to tip a glass o' grog.Polly want a cracker? hahahaBlow me down! this is fun!

fizusthemissus: countdown begins tonight says:
huh.

oh the throes of love. indeed. YO HO HO ME HEARTIES!

reason to smile.

just one (in three parts).

Liverpool 2-0 Wigan: Kuyt Double Flattens Latics,

'Boro hit back to halt United,

and lastly, West Ham 1- 0 Everton: Zamora hits crucial winner.

a pretty good night of EPL, i'd say. yeah, at the price of the boyfriend's misery (manurian that he is), but like thay say, all's fair in love and football.

and meeting the nehneh to study in school tomorrow! :D:D:D

okay so maybe two reasons.

good night all, and i hope to see you at the end of this long dark dreary tunnel of endless mugging. i feel nauseas from all these words, and if i stick my head down the sink i think i might just vomit paper. that's how sick i am of school, mugging, exams, and everything that comes with it. i am waiting impatiently for this to end. it can't come any sooner i tell you.

p.s.: about today (yesterday?), i went, but they said december is too far away so i have to try again a different time. but its okay, i'm fine. will wait patiently (or not) for the next try. :)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

virgin threading session!

did threading today! at browhaus wheelock. its pretty good, $15 for eyebrows, and other varied rates for different parts of your face.

but its damn pain can. after i did it i came out and told suresh, "i'll never do that again". then mum did hers, came out, and said mine looks to straight so i went in AGAIN. gah.

but its okay! its nice and well- shaped now and its still bushy/ thick which is very important to me. :D

okay study.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

brain on vacation.

happens all the time.

at least i'm done with dobe ju/'hoansi! now for coursepack. and then readings for the open book exam. then down and dirty for QR and i'm good to go.

i'm a surprisingly efficient machine this sem when it comes to exams so i'm waiting for the bomb to explode in my face. hmm.

to all who texted, tagged, friendster messaged, etc: thank you very much. mum is all and well and is enjoying her 8 days mc. in fact, she suggested going on a holiday and if not for my EXAMS i would gladly join her in sloth glory.

woke up at 6ish, got to the hospital at 7.45 a.m. coffee made me neurotic and talk real fast. at about 8.45 a.m. mum went in for the operation. had breakfast with nehneh (thanks again for coming along), aunt and uncle yusof. they went off to buy brand's essence or summat after that, and me and suresh stayed in the hospital and studied. about 11ish the nurse called and said she was done! she looked okay, and soon she was walking and we left the place. so all went well, yay.

i suddenly feel like i got no friends. or the people i want to be friends with are not really my friends, and the people who think they're my friends aren't really friends. what's friends anyway? SOCIAL CONSTRUCT. hahaha.

okay but actually i'm quite relieved to be done with the main reading for my 1st paper. that has never happened before in my history in NUS. goodness me.

one more sem to go one more sem to go one more sem to go. that's all i keep telling myself. when it ends and i get what i want it will all be worth it. i will not regret not doing honours, no sirree. even if things don't go exactly as planned.

i am trying to approach life the zen way now. i'll let you know if it works. haha.

should i watch futbol? hmm.

oh and last sinda tuition tomorrow! i think i will surprise them and not have any tests, go through their atrocious maths paper, and buy candy for everyone! and maybe play some games! it'll be a good break for all of us.

next time i see them new sem would be coming and i would be in the deep throes of bidding woes. the last and final bidding session on CORS. now THAT is a memory to treasure. the prospect of leaving NUS has made me appreciate the fact that i got here in the first place, but that being said, i'm so glad its almost over. i'm ready to do something else. :)

if all else fails, i will join the police force. so cliche but whatever. i don't want to spend more than 2 weeks unemployed. meaning from the end of my exams in december, i give myself 14 days to get a job. so obviously, having a job secured before sem ends (or begin! even better!) would be really useful. given all the changes in the household now.

oh and i can't wait to take up all these courses on tourism and hospitality and TEFL (teach english as a foreign language) and god knows what else i will encounter! and of course there's that graduate diploma in social sciences if things go as planned. but we can only plan, He makes up the rest. so let's hope the path set for me is the path i've planned for.

i want to live in melbourne, new york and london. okay maybe not london, but UK. and then when i'm old and fogey and too tired for the fast- paced life, i will retire in a nice island, maybe tioman, or bali, or maldives, if i make it big. and and and i want to teach english in portugal for a few years. and maybe italy too. i want to go everywhere! i don't care if i don't earn alot but at least i'm going places. can't wait can't wait!

is anyone else excited to move on from formal education? i mean i love learning and all that which is why i will get back to it in future but this formal education, this compulsory, tried- and- tested singaporean route of primary- secondary- jc- uni education is over and done with, i've paid my dues, done my bidding, and i can now do as i please.

how liberating.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

mugger mode.

exams are beckoning and i hope the less i blog here = the more i study.

mum's operation tomorrow, wish her well all, and pray for her speedy recovery yea? thanks. :)

i should be asleep really, since i have to get to the hospital by 8. 5 more chapters to clear and i'm good for monday. but nope, not ready for thursday's yet. i'll cross the bridge when i get to it.

good night all, and for those mugging, all the best!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

when to study?

cannot lei. home is good when i'm stressed from mugging, but not good when i'm not stressed from non- existent mugging. home is not conducive for mugging simply because of internet and cable tv.

the next 7 days will be full- fledged mugging, or else.

that aside, 21st! so exciting. hahaha. if i screw it up and screw my exams up too, i will kick myself. actually no la, just feel a bit sad. hurr.

okay i go study now.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

re- travelbugged.

the internet is dangerous.

i'm now trying to decide between krabi/ siem reap/ tioman. but i think i'll keep tioman on hold until i can afford this place.

JapaMala Resort. goodness. just look at these la!

wahlao eh. delicious can.

i mean i'm not really one for luxe living when you're already on a pretty island, but THAT is just sinfully blissful. i mean, your own plunge pool? sunken pebble bath? i'm smitten already. i have a strong feeling i know where my first big paycheck is gonna be blown on. cuz its RM750/ night, at low season. high season its RM1200- 1400. i'm usually one to scoff at such prices for temporary living in a foreign country but somehow this time it seems justified. now, about that fat paycheck...

for krabi i'm eyeing this one. description below lifted off travelfish.org, very reliable source for asian travelling.

This is the first place along the beach as you arrive -- a long-time backpacker favourite with a lot of character and a refreshingly no-nonsense attitude about the art of hospitality. It gets a steady year-round trade, which makes it a great place to meet other travellers who have checked themselves out of the Ton Sai madhouse. The popularity of the place keeps the staff hopping, but they do try hard to attend to the needs of their guests as much as possible. They have a wide range of good bungalows, with a lot of choices in the mid-to-budget range -- nothing too swank, but generally spacious and comfortable with private bathrooms and big porches -- a good deal for the price. Advanced booking, especially in high season, is highly recommended. Shares the same owner as Paradise Resort further down the beach.

more info at said website. am tempted to go krabi; direct flights from tiger costs SGD 143 two- way. good bargain, no? i can already imagine myself finishing my many books by the beach, sipping mocktails and then snorkelling among coral fishies. and of course, visit THE beach, maya bay. i waaant.

i really should be studying. sigh. how come singapore don't have nice resorts facing original unspoilt beaches with gorgeous views unmarred by skyscrapers? hmm hmm hmm?

japamalaaaa. i think i'll be having dreams of this one.

Friday, April 13, 2007

makanday.

yesterday at tuition i texted the nehneh telling him that i'm craving thai express, so TODAY we went! whee!

had my last biosem class 12- 2. tomorrow there's qualitative and ethno then DONE DONE DONE! i got a B/ B- for that soci of family group project. nocommentshor. i'm so wary of who and who and who reads this blog. eeks.

so after class went back to nap for a bit while suresh had HIS last lecture for the semester. hrmpph.

he came back, we got ready, and off to paragon we were!

mango salad, bbq seafood platter and pad thai mangsawirat for him. slurpeelicious. $10 off too, whee!

mango salad wo ai ni.

devoured.

and and and i like what i wore today! today i so feeling- feeling lor, wear heels all. and okay so this is becoming like a bimbo post of whatididwhatiwore but whatever la okay. i want to eksyen.

i like! apiz, you like? HURHUR. skinnies, tee, vest and HEELS. heels y'aaaall.

supposed to be studying in school now. but obviously i'm not right. i haven't checked my hotmail and i can't move on from my life if i haven't read my hotmail. hmm.

oh we went to fong seng before coming to school. plain prata with sugaaaa and egg prata! had coke, and tapow- ed horlicks peng for the mugging session. which i should really start on asap.

okay i tell you all something, but you all must believe okay? MUST.

must believe.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

one day.

did not get the stanford programme. somehow i saw it coming. didn't really feel as disappointed as i thought i'd be, i guess i'm good at consoling myself. 60 people applied for 15 positions, i can't think of myself so lucky so as to get by that easily right. yeap.

had last training session for the semester today. hmm.

studied in school with hafiz after training and fongsenging. ERIC DELKO slurp. hahaha. i think eric delko likes hafiz more than me. :(

silver lining of not getting to go to stanford? i get to these things that caught my eye recently. if i had gotten stanford, there'll be time clashes AND i won't be able to afford them. but now i can! and i so wanna go! i've always always wanted to do this.

apiz, care to join me? suresh and me considering going for #1 together. :)

#1 Gunung Nuang

Famous mountain for Malaysia trekkers and also is a "training centre" for those who planing to challenge the G.Tahan & G.Kinabalu. The highest peak in the state of Selangor at 1,493m, you can catch a glimpse of Genting Highlands and Kuala Lumpur on a clear day.

8th- 9th May, 2D2N. Cost: $75 (additional $6 for non- ODAC members)

#2 Gunung Datuk (am not sure about this one yet)

a 870m peak located in Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. It is about 21km from the town of Rembau and 15km from the town of Tampin. The biggest attraction of Gunung Datuk is the summit. It is an effortless & short climb that is rewarded by a spectacular view of the state of Negeri Sembilan. The trek is of the varied terrain that is suitable for all climbers.

12th- 13th May, 2D1N. Cost: $58 (+$6)

#3 Gunung Angsi (again, iffy!)

at a height of 825m, is located in Ulu Bendol Recreational Forest 20km from the town of Seremban. A great weekend getaway trek, the summit is reached after around 2 hrs plus of trekking. For those who fancy a short weekend trek yet undaunted by the challenges that the steep terrain of the trek can bring, this trek is for you.

18th- 19th May, 2D1N. Cost: $50 (+$6)

#4 Mount Ophir/ Gunung Ledang (definitely confirm guarantee plus many chopes i am SO going la)

Situated in the district of Muar, peaking at 1,276m, it is the highest peak in Johor offering a
breathtaking view at the summit given a clear day. The mountain also offers interesting nature
trails to the summit, sights of beautiful waterfalls and modernized camping facilities near its base. Hikers, birdwatchers… everyone with the zest for a little outdoor adventure over a weekend this coming long holidays, Mount Ophir is the deal!

25th- 27th May, 3D2N. Cost: $88 (+$6)

#5 Gunung Tapis (very very very keen on going)

Gunung Tapis, at 1512m, is one of the lesser-known hills located in Pahang. It is a long but rewarding climb to the summit, and one can visit the beautiful Rainbow falls located at its foothills.

28th- 31st May, 4D4N. Cost: $95 (+$6)

can't stop feeling bouncy since making these plans. i really really wish to go for at least two; nuang and ledang. but after ledang if i'm not too shagged doing tapis would be such a... fulfilling feeling right? like that sense of achievement. i've always wanted to know how it feels to reach a summit of any sort. to climb ledang would be a dream come true. and then to climb a higher mountain, LITERALLY, aiya. i dunno la. its just one of those things, for me. i think i thrive on physical exertion sometimes.

after all these 'sight- seeing' i'm so eying kinabalu for my birthday. :D wouldn't it be just the coolest thing to celebrate my birthday on top of a moutain? everybody in favour say AYE!

and one fine day, i will do a trans- siberian railway trail. as well as trail napoleon's battle route; Spain -> France -> Italy -> Austria -> Prague. and maybe a tribute trip to alexander the great with the nehneh, the great admirer. Serbia Montenegro -> Turkey -> Iran -> Pakistan -> Tajikistan -> Uzbekistan. so cool. i can't wait for the day i get to travel as and when i want, and get paid cuz people wanna read all about it. :))

anyway for more information on above mentioned trips, click here. that's NUS ODAC's website. the additional $6 for non- members can be easily dealt with be becoming a member for $5/ $8 (1 year, or for as long as your NUS stay). if i'm doing more than one trip, obviously its worth it to join. apiz, go for one la! one that fits into your intern schedule. we do together, want? :)

so exciting! and now i can look for a more long- term internship, or even seek out internships independently. or get a well- paying job and save up for more trips! :D maybe FINALLY do my diving in tioman. plus there's cousin's wedding in june, and mum's early/semi- retirement. and possible new pad. maybe tioman with mum? that would be joy. hmm.

i think life has a way of working itself out in the end. sometimes its so easy i scare myself but its okay, a step at a time.

whoops, 5 am! time to sleep and put my trekking/ mountaineering dreams to rest. anyone want to join me please tag okay! the more the merrier! i don't want to be surrounded by strangers and gazing at a gorgeous view. :)

Monday, April 09, 2007

the physics of procrastination.

Fiza's First Law of Essay- Typing

The closer you get to the end, the higher the temptation to leave it to the very very very last minute.

Fiza's Second Law of Essay- Typing

The thrill of last minute work is overrated, as years of indulging in such cheap thrills has shown.

Fiza's Third Law of Essay- Typing

However, that shortlived, overrated thrill remains addictive, which is why i foresee this paper's final fullstop being typed at the first hint of daylight. ulp.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

bahasa ibunda/ lidah mak.

hobi masa lapang: rasa lapar waktu tengah malam dengan pengetahuan terdahulu bahawa peti ais itu kosong dan tidak mengandungi apa- apa jenis makanan yang berkhasiat dan membawa faedah.

i think these random malay rambles are improving my malay. what do you think? free hotdog bun for the person who translates the above phrase successfully! yes hotdog bun, cuz THAT'S what i'm craving for now. that, or sushi. i should live in a 24 hours shopping mall. no, not mustafa. one that has hotdog buns and sushi.

eksyen skejap.

ahem.

won again, 2- 1 away at reading. *blows on (non- existent) buffed nails*

well it was a hard- fought game, and with all due respect to reading, i really did think they deserved a draw.

but what to do la kan. got dutch dynamo in the team. must score goal at 86th minute, allowing me to eksyeneksyen on my blog for once. :D

all manyoo fans can shut up this weekend, yay! and chelsea; carvalho??? hello? sheva ballack aLampard all go where? one corner dig nose ah? and uhh... arsenal. i repeat myself. who are you without henryyyy. still want to sell him some more. SIAO BOH.

okay i love my football weekend. this wednesday i'm coming home from tuition cuz got CHAMPIONS LEAGUE LEIIII. 6 stars, maybe?

but i like 5 stars better lei. like more... uniform. looks better on jerseys/ footballs too. okay over- eksyen already, wait people menyampah.

p.s.: for the malay illiterate (not necessarily non- malays ;) hurrrr)... the non- malay words:-
eksyen: show- off, brag, etc.
menyampah: get sick of my eksyeneksyen- ness. :D

Saturday, April 07, 2007

expo loot!

hoo wheeeeee!

3 donuts & FIIIIVE BOOKS.

*faints in joy*

favouritest buy!

$5! !@#$%^&*&^%$# *froths and re- faints*

got these too. 3 for $10!

and a book i can't google the cover of. prizewinning asian fiction for $6. suresh paid for that one. :D happy happy!

Friday, April 06, 2007

droolworthy.

book sale at expo tomorrow! who want to follow raise up your hands highhigh so i can see!

so excitingableesque. remembered last semester, i gathered so many borders vouchers PLUS that birthday gift card and bought 3 books and brought it all to melbourne. damn shiok.

end of this sem i want 5 damn shiok books to read. 2 alain de bottons, 3 more dunno who yet. WHEE!

haha haven't start revising but already dreaming of end of exams. tsktsktsk.

stayed in school till NINE AM this morning. didn't sleep a wink. went back to PGP, pack, change up, went home and conked out in bed immediately, contact lenses and all.

late noon was aunt's place for her housewarming. seeing my nieces grow is extremely fun. each time i see them they've learnt something new. but at the same time, it reminds me that i am getting OLDDDD.

apiiiiiz! book sale tomorrow? and we go beach before exams want? sounds a bit suicidal. haha.

4.59 a.m.

officially brain- dead, depressed, exhausted, close to tears and starving. i want to go home.

p.s.: eei. just found out purple boy has a girlfriend! i hope she doesn't read this blog or know i'm talking about her boyfriend. haha. i don't REALLY want to marry him you know. :D okay i shouldn't joke about these things. girls are scarypansies.

not- so- new- things reified about myself...

in the process of this essay- churning.

i have the attention span of a 5 year old. type 5 sentences, open 5 tabs on firefox. google lyrics, check email repetitively. o_O
i have the bladder control of... uhh... wait. no. i don't HAVE bladder control.
i'm a creature of habit. i've gone to the exact same cubicle all... 4952 times i've entered the loo. loo! how snazzy!
each time the end of semester approach, i go through puberty again. yes how cute. pimples greet my mirror image when i wake up, like FUNGUS ON A LOG AFTER THE RAIN.
AND AND AND! i also AGE. premature aging AND puberty simultaneously! i'm like a walking human chernobyl. i am a NUCLEAR disaster. i've just sprouted 5 STRANDS OF WHITE HAIR over the span of 5 HOURS. I. AM. DEAD. SERIOUS.
i get mopey and bangauish and silly and emo and generally swampy at this hour. yes swampy.
i never start essays with structure/ outlines, cuz i am so confident that i am above all that.
i end up making outlines halfway through paper cuz i realize my paper got NO STRUCTURE! HARDCORE JENIUS AH.

like i said. nothing new. just a reinforcement that, heyyyy. i'm still me. jolly good that does for me.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

languid.

working on my paper from level 3 of old admin block, i.e. USP's chatterbox. comfy sofas + aircon = conducive studying environment. or not. hah.

came here from fong seng. before which i was resting at my room. before which i met banana at vivo. before which i had class till 2. before which i interviewed my coach for an hour at coffee club express. before which i had tutorial 8- 10. so yes, long day, but it ain't over till its over. whatever that means.

the carpet in this rooms STINKS of ikea. in ikea its fine, cuz its ikea and the smell is acceptable. but here, merged with multitude of feet/ shoe smell. euuumph.

if i spend more than 5 minutes in one sitting typing the essay, i'll be done much faster, cuz i'll be in the 'groove' and all that jazz. but as well all know, this groove takes a while to come along.

so i'll dance to some iTunes meanwhile. :D

rjbgejkanfem.

i've just interviewed a friend for my qualitative research paper over MSN and he gave me some DAMN SOLID responses. then when it was over, i clicked the 'x' and CLOSED THE DAMN WINDOW.

glitter-graphic.com is the best glitter graphic code resource

its what dr. gana would call, ahmayyzing.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

lurps my boys.

won 0- 3 away at PSV. gerrard, riise, crouch, a piece each. crouch got a hat- trick and agger blasted one too against arsenal. days like these i'm reminded of why i want to marry riise. and why gerrard will always be my concubine.

i lurpslurpslurpssss all. but you stevie g, are one darn special man. sigh.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

looking for a husband.

to be precise, someone to ACT as my husband. i'm doing this small role as a bride at a malay wedding (duh), and the casting woman asked if i can find someone to act as my malay husband.

i told mum about it, and she was asking who i had in mind. and i blurted, "NAJIB!"

HAHAHA.

p.s.: najib is purple boy. yeap.

p.p.s.: so if you can think of anyone who can pass of as my MALAY husband (nehneh is out!), lemme know. :D

it may be over, but it won't stop here

what a long long day. school 10- 4, then tuition 7- 9. dinner at fong seng, and now blogging before doing some readings and tucking in. will start on paper tomorrow. rahh.

going back tomorrow for champs league match! whoopee doo! PLUS arts central has a "live from abbey road" concert telecast at 11 p.m. so excitingableesque!

am so motivated to do my paper but let's hope it translates into a brilliant paper. doing research for this topic has rekindled my passion for sociological research, and i'm thinking maybe, just maybe, i will pursue sociology at leisure after i've gotten my masters/ phd for creative writing. yes i dream big, i dream alot, but it keeps me going so yeah.

exams are a- coming! thinking of exams gives me diarrhoea. :(

sometimes i run out of words, out of things to say and tell, not because nothing happened, but because some things seem better unsaid. not always because it was bad, but because sometimes words fail me and makes the more beautiful things in life sound so contrite.

random things like how i will suddenly realize how lucky i am that i am born into a family that is mine, as compared to someone who finds out he/ she is adopted years later. that confusion, the pain, the anger, the feeling of dejection. like how i like full moons. or how my students crack me up just by being themselves. how sometimes i don't realize i'm holding his hands and when i do consciously think about it, its like a miracle how our fingers ever found each other, when only 2 years ago i never knew he (and his fingers) existed. how i can look at the stupid neo- prints in my wallet and laugh to myself in train rides. how i can MSN with my new friend mellie and talk nonsense for hours without getting bored or regretting the TV time i'm missing out on.

then there's the other bits of life... points of time when you realize its easier to give up than to go on but you must go on cuz you don't know how not to. when you talk to lovers who aren't lovers anymore because someone decided cheating is easier than staying. when you realize its probably true- cheating is way easier than being loyal, but if life is about having it easy we won't all be here. when you wonder how some people got to become the way they are, why you two stopped talking, why he never replies your "hi!" and "hello!" on MSN. why this,why that, what if what if what if.

sometimes i feel so hungry for life. to just keep feeling things, to keep experiencing sensations cuz it keeps me alive, it reminds me of (im)mortality and it makes me breathe slower. i want it all. tears laughter extreme joy pain that shoots through you like a bullet train and a warm bed to turn in to at the end of it all. somedays i want it all, and i feel like a lifetime won't be enough for me to see and know and hear and feel all there is to this world.

i wonder if its a condition really, this desperation for life. not life as in a social life, 'happening' life. but life. life as it is defined biologically and cognitively- breathing, thinking, feeling, seeing. i want my senses saturated with so much that i could burst with fireworks of articulate expression that will explain why i love this life so much.

but i can't. i run out of words, or words fail me cuz the ones i want elude me, they don't exist just yet. nothing presently available in any dictionaries of the world to describe the mundane everydayness of my life that makes me want to climb mountains and scream i love you life.

i wish everyone this same happiness, so thick it hangs heavy in the air, like my own private atmosphere of secret bliss. :)

Monday, April 02, 2007

so happy, i could scream!

it didn't rain! what miracles sunday brings. so picnic went on as planned, palawan beach with chapatis, mexican chilli with kidney beans (ack), alloo mutter for the nehneh, and general fun and laughter for all.

played football and captain's ball. running on sand= bloody painful. playing such games while still injured= sustain more injuries. :D

had fun though. and after all that sweating a dip in the ocean was a much- needed relief.

there was norm (officially suresh's favourite peejayian! haha), ruz&qeem (friends with benefits, y'all), hafiz lim, ashik and fahrur. plus me and nehneh. group was just nice, big enough to have sustained conversations that involved everyone.

post- beach was harbourfront macdonalds. suresh and ashik left together, so we were down by 2, but then khai came and joined us, just as lim and fahrur left. to go masjid! so good boyyys!

khai went on a shopping spree at vivocity. nike and topman, no less. we left after ruz showed signs of... drunken- ness. hahahaha. its injected alcohol, so that she won't need to share with norm. at least that's what norm thinks.

had lots of fun. rit was a good break to have just before the onslaught of schoolwork and exams and revision and whatevernots. i love me peejay people. in fact, i was having soo much fun i forgot to snap any shots. i think that is the best compliment i have for today- you guys had me riveted! no time to take out camera AT ALL! haha.

oh and here's picture's of madmadmad nus girls. i love teamnus more everyday! so sick i know.

i want to do readings, watch CSI, then sleep. last tutorials tomorrow for QR and soci family! joy!
(well maybe not for QR, cuz i like ghana, but end of socifamily! JOYY!)

Sunday, April 01, 2007

i come forth with much news!

woke up at 7 a.m. and got to bedok earlier than expected, allowing me to get my macs breakfast. i also forgot hair ties (bought from some shop, 30 cents for a packet) and SOCKS. i am losing my mind. luckily cj had spare socks.

got to start the game, but maybe its just not meant to be cuz i got injured 15/ 20 minutes into the game. was going to clear the ball when this big sized girl crashed into me and i fell backwards, hitting my head on their field (which resembled cement floor- more sand than grass, and very very dry and rough surface), felt my head bounce off the field, and then felt coach icing my head. hur.

the game was played in 3 thirds of 35 minutes each, and coach wanted me to play the second third. but though i had recovered from the head pain, i realized i was having some discomfort with my neck. i figured the entire incident was akin to the whiplash effect in car accidents; when you jam brake and your head snaps back and forth.

so i sat out the 2nd third, and wasn't fully recovered but decided to play the last third anyway cuz i did not travel all the way back to pgp to get my boots, and wake up at 7 to go bedok on a saturday, to only play for 20 minutes and get my head hurt. so i played. keep in mind that i'm a leftback... and the neck injury made it hard for me to turn to look at my left side. -_-

didn't go too bad though, in general i guess we played okay. went to parkway after that, where we sat in MOS burger but ate from MOS, BK, and i dunno what else. coach joined us for lunch too, and i think he is quite chatty for a guy surrounded by like... many, many girls.

was sleepy after lunch, but someone suggested arcade... which got not- so- enthu response... till someone said air hockey! and like the entire team woke up and trudged up to the damn arcade and made a fool of ourselves in our nus jerseys. hahaha. even took a neoprint, bloody hell.

finally left the place at about 4, bus to kallang then train home. it started pouring just as i reached my void deck, bamboozles. it was so damn hot when we played. the sun on saturdays is absolutely unforgiving.

tomorrow is picnic with peejay people, probably last big outing till exams end. so much work to do already. mounting, mounting!

i'm too lazy to scan the neoprints but teamnus girls if you read this, please scan so i can upload it here. its too frickin funny to not share it with the world. haha.

okay. rest time. LIVERPOOL WON TONIGHT WHOO HOOO WARGHGHHRHHGHRHGH. crouch and agger, goodness. the most unlikely scorers but i'd take any goals. mwahaha what is arsenal without henry?

okay before i offend anyone. good night!