being obscure clearly.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

beautiful day.

guess what?

i want to be john arne riise.

so what if the sun was hot and i was starving and bananas are mushy yellow things that makes me feel pukey in that heat and that in that sweltering heat we had to carry 4 goalposts all over nus many fields while being watched by jc kids (whom i heard whispering away, "wah! they carry own goalpost!" *beam* "aiya must be lighter." -__-)?

i am honoured to be part of Team NUS, be it A or B. both teams showed their prowess and capabilities and while some (including me) might be disheartened by the lack of hours playing or mistakes, i think what we should take home is how far we've come since, and how much further we can go now with this. once again in a bout of fervoured passion, I LOVE YOU NUS WOMEN SOCCER!

the entire tournament was indeed fun, unfortunately different fixture timings meant the two different teams hardly got to mingle with each other. the jokes and laughter flowed freely, much entertainment was provided by a plastic aeroplane that came in a box of cereal which also made me (un)official aeronautical engineer of the team.

guilty of conceding the only goal my team conceded in the group stages. i tried to play better in the second half and i hope you all can see that or else maybe i was dreaming or feeling- feeling riise only. i didn't take that WHOMP on my thigh/ dangerously near crotch area from that girl for nothing okay. so pain then fiona still can slapslap that same place. and when i retaliate she responds by shrieking "racist!" my reputation is beyond redemption in this team.

naturally, the excitement and joy of playing the tournament is the highlight of my day but i left soon after the rain slowed to a drizzle (sorry girls, couldn't stick around and help clear up much), cuz nehneh was there and we had to get to labrador park for our...

paintingpicnic!

masterpiece.

the weather was erratic so we moved from grassy patch, where we managed to do our crayon sketchings, to the sheltered hut, where we managed to paint our masterpiece. :) i drew suresh and he drew me. i don't have a blue spaghetti top or a red skirt but that's okay. I HAVE MEDAL LOOK LOOK!

and suresh is wearing the t- shirt i bought for him.

premilinary sketchings by suresh. he was quite concerned about boobs cuz or else i'd look like a cross- dressing man with long hair.

day was shortened by; 1. beloved monthly cramps and 2. general exhaustion, i did just stood hours in the sun. drive back where i slept then slept till now. but we both concur that it was a fun activity and we thus shall do it again, yay!

when we arrived, the radio played "beautiful day". when we left, "more than words".

when even the radiowaves cooperate to make your day simply love, you have no choice but to be thankful and count your blessings fifty times over.

thank you everyone who made today today, see you at training girls, and nehneh, see you tomorrow.

ah. i love today.

humbug.

and all i wanted was some effort, not like i don't appreciate everything else. since i can and did, put in a few hours of my evening towards the cause. if the role was switched, i'd still have put in the same amount of effort. i wonder if i'd have gotten the same from, if it wasn't me getting the things. i try to understand the situation, that inability to leave as and when you please to get things, my privelege of having freedom you don't... but i don't know. sometimes it seems too hard.

sometimes i wonder if i try to hard to make myself and others i love happy. what's wrong with being sad sometimes?

sometimes sometimes sometimes. and most times.

lalala.

tomorrow (or later), i have a football tournament to play and hopefully WIN mwahahaha, and a date. a date a date a date. yay!

i should sleep NOW if i want to get to school by 8 but there's still so much to dooooo.

lalala.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

fry, dei.

my team girls are a racist bunch. with 4 chinese, an indian and a malay in one car, we can still manage to make fun of race. pfft.

training started veryyyyyy late cuz it rained heavily and coach was late! if he's a menstrual period he will give boyfriends all over the world heart attacks. haha i'm so incredibly funny. coach can also be likened to a grammatically incompetent bangla, or russell peters/ charlie chaplin.

so start late, end late. played till i couldn't see the ball and the aroma of cow dung could no longer be ignored. i seriously don't know what NUS does to the fields.

team dinner at holland v's coffee club. team = tracy, wenting, wanrong, amanda, christin and me. team!

talked alot of useful nonsense that i will use for my paper. hurhur. saw coach after that, and i dunno why the girls were reduced to a giggling bunch of misfits there in front of that pub. crazy people i hang out with. we left at 11. -_-

earlier today met my advisor who encouraged me to do the melb- creative writing thing and agreed that doing honours will be redundant. so yay, adult approval means i am not doing something stupid/ crazy/ suicidal.

tomorrow i might or might not do something that caught my interest just 8 hours ago. my attention span is horribly short. maybe if i sleep early and wake up early i will be able to make a decision and not be late for it. aiya.

my back has been acting up lately, and i think i'm having gastric pain. i'm so wrought with sickness lately i wonder if i was possessed by an old ah mah over the chinese new year break.

okay i am tired and in a certain degree of pain, hence incapable of eloquence and coherence. i shall sleep.

ta.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

hiatus.

the one true hiatus is the one that comes and goes unnanounced. :) i've had a delightfully long blog- free holiday, and i never realized how liberating it could possibly be to not have to think about how to speak of my day without sounding stupid/ indulgent/ pretentious.

been home since saturday, which partly explains the hiatus. there's internet now, thanks to starhub flexisurf. 3 hours at one go. could go for daily but i need to do some studying later anyway so this is for the best. its like curbing an addiction even.

saturday was training at undisclosed junior college due to our own NUS pitch being overtaken by some festival. after that was the cage at kallang with the peejay boys, and the nehneh got to play. the turf looked yummy. i want to play! should bring the girls down one day. after kallang was town for coffee, sembawang with the family, al- ameen sembawang for food then home. probably watched football after that, not that i can recall. i do remember feeling worried for my stagnating form in football. bah.

sunday was bumming at home. was pretty exhausted from the events the day before, including one particularly unpleasant, too unpleasant to even be mentioned here cuz this is my happy place. nothing, of course, that CSI didn't help heal later on. i love sundays simply for its 3 hour CSI specials.

monday was... chinese new year still. so... i can't remember shit. HAHA. oh ok. i went to my cousin's place, who had just moved in. met the 3 princesses, later in the evening the relatives came and long story short, we all landed at west coast hawker simply because it was near, even though we were all full already. -_- ended up being dropped off at jurong east mrt station by a family friend; had a very good time at the back of the truck, though it ruined my hair. har.

speaking of hair, i long to snip it off but i am vain and i want to graduate with long hair and my concern is it won't grow in time.

tuesday morning was training. sun was out in full force and i conceded pretty early. i think the 12 minute run did me in. i'm usually okay with the runs but the sun just made it incredibly exhausting.

rested the rest of that day. i am suffering from memory loss cuz i can't recall what i did 2 days ago! sheesh. oh! i know. went to joey's place for gong xi fa cai. stayed for a while. but too tired to hang around much, and suresh drove me back soon after.

wednesday was much better, i was well- rested and had sufficient sleep. thanks to man u- lille's boring game. HAHA. didn't even make it to halftime. should have watched real- bayern, pfft. so town it was, lunch at dahlia, visit to my favourite secondhand bookshop where i got my 3rd frank mccourt, then borders where nehneh fulfilled my wish for "a present" and got me two! yes, i told him, "nehneh, i want present!" via sms, and got this.

a stripey bag and a pink postcard that says, "damn right i'm good in bed (mum frowns...). i can sleep for days." showed my mum the top half before revealing the other half. hahaha.

after borders was starbucks near toys'r'us. coffee and a read, while nehneh power napped. HE had to bear the torture of watching the entire man u- lille match. oh the perils of a red devil. post- coffee we discovered that the huge red devils shop was GONE so it was toys'r'us for fun fun fun. almost bought a coloured jenga set, travel scrabble, upwords, tamiya car kit, GBA in green. but we ended up snapping pictures, riding skateboards, swordfighting and squishing rubbery dinosaurs.

its so nice to be so simply happy sometimes. i always like to believe that people are genuinely nice deep inside (till proven otherwise), but lately this belief has been rocked and often i find myself saddened when happiness and kindness come from the unexpected people, and the ones i had hope and wished for to be so giving and loving turned out to be something else altogether. i tell myself i have no one but me and my mum, and i hope this will help me become stronger and less needy.

i love my bag. and i love my Sinda class. the kids are so nice, and i hope saying this won't jinx it. their innocence is charming, makes me wistful for my secondary school days. sadly i know they weren't the same as theirs. i'll stick to being 22 and looking 14.

speaking of which i got chatted up by jc boy (the one near woodlands... innova?) on my way to meet mum at causeway point. SO SAD. how will i ever land the hot tall philo/ soci/ econs/ MEDICINE dude if all the geeky belo preppy college boys thinks i'm their age?

so yeap after town yesterday was tuition at queensway sec and a mad rush back home to catch the CSI premier at 10 p.m. the entire rush from queensway to admiralty resulted in me resolving to GET MY DRIVING LICENCE cuz i cannot take it anymore, all this incessant travelling. and by incessant i mean that one day i had to take 45 minutes to travel and even that included brisk walking. if i had missed even 1 second of csi i would have waited for the repeat cuz i CANNOT watch CSI halfway. i'd rather not watch and be CSI- less for 2 hours. besides i needed to study and sleep after CSI to watch LIVERPOOL WHOOP SOME BARCA ASS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

all i have to say about the riise- bellamy crisis is this; if bellamy truly made contact with riise, he would be charged and it'd be a police case, and he won't get away with a fine, much less start the match. and secondly, knowing that golf clubs can leave people seriously injured, how likely would it be that riise actually got hit at all, since he passed the fitness test to play the match? surely a golf club would cause injury suffice to place him on the bench. so as much as i know bellamy has a thing for violence and alcohol, i also know media, and especially UK media, has a thing for blowing things out of proportion. when even stevie g's girlfriend getting a wedgie warrants a column in the sports pages, you know i'm talking sense.

alright enough yammering, got to make better use of my precious 3 hours. advisor meeting at 12 tomorrow, then training at 4.30 p.m. there's a tournament at NUS on sunday, nervous and excited. my first proper tournament since joining the team (earlier one didn't count, i had only had 2 training and thereafters were friendlies), i hope i play well, or at least better than before.

much love to all.

Friday, February 16, 2007

the song game.

went to town after training yesterday, walked about, had macs dinner, then bus back to pgp. played a song game, which goes something like this...

fiza: sing something!
suresh: twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky, twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder what you are.
fiza: are you sleeping, are you sleeping, brother john, brother john!

and so on and so forth. due to suresh's newbie state, we played it at difficulty level 0, meaning you can intervene at any word of the song you like and start singing a new song. and one of the songs suresh intervened me with went:

i love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a nick- nack paddy whack, give a dog a bone... eh this sounds wrong.

HAHA.

then today i went to my last 2 lectures for this half of the semester. school's done for a week, boy the joy. met mum at vivo later in the afternoon, used the topshop voucher andandand got pancake mix! just add water! perfect for the long break.

tomorrow i'm going for soccer training at 8.30 a.m. then playing indoor soccer at the cage with the peejay people. then hooooooome for the longest time. wednesday is champions league woot woot!

i'd like to sound happier and more excited about the break and tomorrow and every other good thing happening in my life but i'm really really really tired. the cumulative exhaustion, i call it. so i shall sleep early, and be fresh and happy tomorrow morning.

its down to krabi/ bali after exams. whee!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

objects of interest.

NAF 2007- Letters & Spaces.

What’s New in Singapore Writing?
Moderator: Yong Shu Hoong
Sunday, 18 March 2007, 4.30pm – 5.30pm
Celadon Room, NUS Museum
$10 per participant.

Forays into Foreign Lands – A Travel Writing Workshop by Tan Chung Lee
Sunday, 4 March 2007, 2 to 5.30pm
Celadon Room, NUS Museum
$20 per participant.

anyone interested? let me know. we get 15% off for ~~suffering~~ being in NUS. am quite keen on both. anyone else?

today i shocked joshua with my makan- macam- babi- ness i.e. excessive eating. had sausage prata roll, then off to business for chicken kebab and fries. washed down with coke. accidentally ate a slice of tomato, i want to die.

am watching a terribly mindless show on kids central. its called boohbah, and they don't speak english. "Jajaba! Jingba! BIHBAH! *tiu tiu tiu tiu sound* BOOH!"

i will never put my kids through that. so scary okay.

so anyway. training at 5 p.m. later. today i had my anthro tutorial which was fortunately bearable, thanks to an exercise called pretend to be Dobe Ju/'hoansi and marry off your kids.

ended at 9.30 a.m., so had lime crunch and wedges with hafiz at gecko. the kebab stall wasn't open yet. and when i came back at 1, it was GONE! someone abscond(ed) with the kebab machine and the pitas and the lettuce and the CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE. i am upset.

hahaha. i just looked up to catch some boohbah and there is a grandfather suspended in mid- air, wearing yellow shirt, black pants and red suspenders. HAHA.

okay so anyway. after gecko session went back for a nap, and came back to school at 1 for lunch with suresh and joshua where i, as aforementioned, makan macam babi. due to the missing kebab stall, i settled for business canteen's kebabs. sigh. kebab with cheeeeeeeese. i waaaant.

very excitingableesque day today! after training going to watch little children at lido! whoopee!

and mariariariaria; this is my pink ladybug dress! i wear it as a tunic. OHMYGOD these boohbahs are walking backwards slowly, to the tune of middle eastern beats. EEIYERRR why so weird ONEEEE.

okay anyway. dress! you probably didn't see it because i hide all its clones. haha no. cuz its in the kids' section hurhur.

eh this boohbah show very scary lei. let's see if i can show you all a youtube video of it. okay there's alot of edited stuff on boohbah, there is seeming concurrence that it is meant for kids stoned on marijuana... or something. go youtube and search boohbah. but anyway, as a treat for my loyal readers, here's some boohbah dancing! WHEE!

okay la. enough is enough. i need to poop (say byebye to sausage prata roll and kebabs HAHAHA) and maybe nap before training. :D i am a napperlover.

travelbug.

bittenbittenbitten.

blame the travelfair at central forum, then again it doesn't take much for me to start searching for cheap flights to all over. i think i've found a goldmine; contemplating sg- phuket- sg in july for a pretty good price. i figured if i go cheap, i can more than 1 holiday, especially if i save up alot of money this sem. whee!

biosem class cancelled tomorrow, so only one 8- 10 am tutorial tomorrow followed by long- ass nap till soccer training at 5 p.m. :D

am staying up to catch CSI at 1.30 a.m. herrrhhh.

had sinda today, afterwhich i realized i was only 50cents rich, so it was down to west coast hawker with mum, cousin, his wife and kids for merry merry dinner. on that note; mum- topshop voucher expires this saturday, must go soon!

finished my paper due at 5 p.m. at 2 p.m. so pro can. tsk. and i only started typing at 11. aaah. JENIUS i say. lecture was a NIGHTMARE and i wanted to keel over and DIE. i was contemplating walking out but very fortunately, she saved me the effort and ended lecture at 3.30 p.m. HORRORHORRORHORROR. i dunno how much more MAKEBABIES GETMARRIED OHMARRIEDLIFEISSOWONDERFUL SHALALALALA rubbish i can take. i feel ENGORGED, like nipples post- childbirth, not like i would know. BUT ITS DAMN IRRITATING LA. the tutorials and lectures are both increasingly EXCRUCIATING.

phew. glad i got that out. on a happier note i got a sausage prata roll after that, mmm. then travel fair which had a fair amount of attractive goodies. then submission, then bus shuttle back for a short nap then down to sinda for tuition.

in the shuttle to school this morning for breakfast, suresh said, "i'm glad i don't have to walk by arts today." "well you should, cuz you got lecture but you're skipping (albeit to accompany his mum's dental appointment, so tis a good and noble cause me man)". "ya i know but i must accompany my mum what." "hmm ya."

moments later.

"eh, why you don't want to walk past arts?" "cuz everyone will be carrying giant helium- filled heart shaped balloons." "OH YAA. today vday!"

this was then forgotten in the midst of my rushing for my paper. sweet snippets interspersed remind me of the sweeter bits of this day- messages from lovely friends which inspired me to send one out myself. so mr. moo, you were the chosen one okay! also got candy from a few people giving it out in the spirit of love. or toothaches. either way, i enjoyed those bits. a few hours went by again of course, and i again forgot that i am ILL- EQUIPPED.

i was cruelly reminded of my failings as a human/ female/ vagina- bearing, skirt- wearing person, when almost- strangers walking past asked, "EH! your boyfriend never buy you flowers?" -_- umm ya, and you obviously don't read my blog. or know me. or suresh. "ehhh, where's your flowers?" why no one asked where's your candy? at least i had those to show mah. and there's also the chocolates i got from the soccer girls what. but nooo, the focus here is flowers.

the final round- up was walking out of soci department after my submission, where i was accosted by a girl who was in one of my tutorials many sems ago (must be one of those i only attended like 1 out of 6). "hey... i know you! you took soci sthsth with me right?" this kind of question must answer in affirmative, any alternative would only result in the much dreaded AWKWARD MOMENT. "umm ya... haha hi." "hiii! you look so prettyyy! going out?" "umm no la. just had lecture." "oh.. okay. no date?" "nope. teaching tuition later." "oh okay... then your boyfriend?" "he's at home, his mum just had a dental surgery so he's taking care of her." "oh. okay." "umm ya." "so he didn't even buy you flowers?"

okay lorrrrr. i no flowers. when i own the orchid plantation you all come and ask again okay. i tell you my boyfriend bought the entire goddamn plnatation, take THAT for flowers.

i saw a stall selling dunnohowmanystalks for $120 and i thought of all the shopping i could do with that amount of money. TSK.

i want to go to cairns, i want to go queenstown at NZ and i wanna go bali/ phuket/ krabi. i could settle for perth and bali/ phuket/ krabi if its more affordable.

okay enough dreaming. better sleep now if i want to wake up for tutorials. sigh. i hope its better than the lectures.

looking forward to 10 a.m. tomorrow: NAP! whoo I MISS SLEEP! and to concur, i am wearing my I LOVE SLEEP pajamas from good ol' melbourne. okay byeeee.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

somewhere i belong.

training was good today, felt my game improved quite a bit, am passing into space more, and trying to push up more. always feel nervous pushing up cuz i'm worried that my defenders will be stranded. besides, in 7- a- side there's no offside rule so the strikers are literally roaming free. but my team did play pretty well and that's good, cuz the teams coach announced later was similar to the teams he split up for game. there's 11 per team though, so i might be one of the 3 subs. but anyways it don't matter, i'm just glad to be part of the 22 chosen ones. hurhur.

coach says team A has more 'seniors', not older people necessarily, but people who's been playing football longer. so my role is to be a sponge and absorb their greatness, or something like that. haha. but ya. team B is the younger team, mainly year 1's, girls who will carry the team on their shoulders hereon once the seniors leave. so all in all, good news all about.

as usual, dinner at munchie's. we took so long to walk there, with all the team talk and buying drinks and whatnots. had my aglio olio then sat there and talk nonsense till munchie's was gonna close. some of us did diagonal shuffling while walking out of the shop, in the name of team spirit, hah!

back to pgp, and was still hungry so i had a grilled chicken pizza from kgourmet. ended up eating one slice, and removed the chicken bits from another to give nehneh. saving the other 2 slices for dinner tomorrow; i.e. tuition break at sinda.

must finish reading journals and the reviews tonight, lecture 2- 4 p.m. tomorrow and its due at 5p.m. i just realized my journals are ancient; early 80s but too late to change la hor. bo liao.

had another eureka! moment before soccer today while reading journals. mentioned it to mum and suresh, and both think its a pretty good idea. i think its more financially viable too, and of course, will serve to satisfy my melbourne craving, haha.

its very nice to feel like you belong to a group of people who love something as much as you. i hope i can always go past the field and be able to see us there among that patches of green and brown, playing football to our heart's content.

i failed to mention my pretty weekend over the previous entries, mainly cuz there were short quickies meant to provide snippets of my life between busy moments. but now that i am procrastinating, i can blog more HAHA.

after training on saturday, there was a bit of a whirlwind rush for me to go to Zara Kids to buy a ladybug dress. yesyes i am nonsensical like that but if you read often enough you should KNOW THAT BY NOW so leave me alone you pretentious- EEIFIZASOCRAZYONE!- people cuz i KNOW you KNOW i'm crazy and just want to pretend not to know cuz you got nothing better to do. HAH. so ya, we went to vivocity Zara where THEY RAN OUT OF LADYBUG DRESSES!!!! CALAMITYYYY.

they called Zara greatworldcity and they had it so made them reserve it for me and zoomed there to buy and go home and wrap presents and go TEBAN GARDENS (the ulu- est corner of singapore, at least tuas is a causeway, teban is residential!) for my niece's 1st birthday. YES, i bought a ladybug dress cuz its nice AND cuz it'll entertain the many many kids there. in the end only my mum and me were fascinated by the bug but oh well.

okay distraction. CLICK THIS! there's alot of malay lingo so those who don't understand WO TUE PU QI! erm i'm sorry. but yea, its quite a... heartfelt video, i should say. for all the angst and criticisms i hear (and yes, sometimes dispense too, i admit) about our community and its failings and flaws and whatever nots, something like this, makes a point quite simply. and watch it to the end okay, the last bit is quite nice. you'll know what i mean. and tell me if you found the britney- **** comparison predictable. the MINUTE they showed/ sang britney i knew who was coming up la. okay see all this will only make sense if you see the video so GO SEE!

so yes saturday was zara dress, birthday party, then jurong east area with aunt, uncle, cousin and mum. nothing beats good ol' family times, especially with such funny relations. had bubble tea, long john, went to cash converter, bought cat food, and i forgot what else la. that entire jurong east central area we tawaf. umm, circle.

yeap so it was home after that, all psyched up for EPL after such a long break and what do i get? a loss to newcastle. liverpool's game boggle me sometimes. when things seem most obvious they just manage to screw it up all by themselves. and when things seem entirely against them, they go against all odds and fight to win. its truly depressing to see them lose, i can't not be sad when they lose cuz its more than just a game. each time they play badly or lose i try to tell myself its okay fiza, its just a game, its so far away, you've got nothing to do with it. but OF COURSE i've got something to do with it. this is a team i love and it hurts to seem them lose, it hurts to see them play badly. i love football, and i love liverpool, no two ways around it.

so slept soon after cuz the fastest cure to depression is sleep. woke up the next day, did some journals, watched some CSI, then it was town to meet saramarabobara.

met her at topshop, looked for her makeup at DFS, then longjohnsilver for me. talked about school life etc etc, and i'm glad i'm the only one suffocated by this system. and while it might seem evil, i'm glad you're not thriving on this system too sara, cuz it makes it possible that maybe i'm not a failure, but just a kink unsuited for this system.

walked about after LJS, window shopped, and then landed ourselves at coffee bean for another chat but this time more light- hearted i.e. nonsensical. if i ever get to marry the guy i've had a crush on since year 1, she won't come to my wedding. how evil is that? i told her i'd make her my maid of honor. hahaha. and why don't i use his name anymore? cuz i've realized, a little too late yes but never mind, that there's people who knows him who reads this blog and might tell him and that will be totally embarassing. so yea. and THEN there's people who THINK they know who i'm talking about and tell a guy they THINK i have a crush on and then this guy will THINK i like him and start behaving all funny around me and so the moral of the story is, its just a crush la okay.

okay la type so long already right? finish story about weekend also. so that was my brilliant weekend, and monday was a good day in school(ish)- i always enjoy biosem and qualitative classes (maria we are the gana fanclub!) so 2 out of 3 is not too bad. sinda was fine too, and the briyani after that was great. and yeap, maya, its the one along the mosque. and razie; i teach at queensway sec. sch.

journals time. sigh. midsem break o midsem break, wherefore art thou?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

waffled.

finished my shift at 2.30 p.m., and now to read the darn journals for soci of family before training at 5. as tiring as this gets, i can't help getting a sense of satisfaction. besides, next week would be midsem break, so that will be a timely break.

alright, journals time.

Monday, February 12, 2007

can't live without/ can live with

very long day that started on a high and gradually dwindled down to a zoned- out noon class and ending with a highly- annoying tutorial. i ranted and raved after that class to the nehneh, so i'm all ranted out, aren't you glad.

rushed back to nap till 5.45, sinda tuition was at 7. new class of kids seem okay, rather eager to learn, which is refreshing.

after sinda tuition was bus down to south buona vista road for mutton briyani and thosais and pratas. yum. and quiet too. who needs fong seng? hah.

so today has been a long long day, exhausting to say the least. but the long long long walk and the inevitable long long long chat from that thosai shop all the way back to pgp made every other minute worth it, if it all ends with a long walk in the cool night breeze, hand- in- hand with you.

waffling tomorrow 11- 2.30 pm, do drop by for some retarded waffles. training 5- 7 p.m. too, do drop by the field to see the skinny girl fly.

aching feet. ouch.

Friday, February 09, 2007

8 days a week!

so today marked the end of a rather good school week. school week = 5 days.

after lecture at 2 p.m. it was macs for lunch with dizzie and suresh. fillet o fish is shrinking!

career fair after that, which was okay... nassar made it more interesting/ entertaining with his crappy jokes. i think i have a ear infection. no, this has nothing to do with his jokes. as in genuinely, i think i do cuz my right eardrum hurts. uhmm.

anyway got a few career options in mind as opposed to the previous full- time tutoring option. still think that will be most lucrative, and allows most flexibility and hence ensuring a faster move to melbourne.

speaking of which, i miss melbourne. like CRAZY. crazycrazycrazy. i dunno if i should take up the launch fare of AirAsia X this july and go london (where its snowing now, NOW! dammit cannot wait ah these goddamn snowflakes), or save up for another trip to melbourne. i miss the sound of trams. and docklands. and bridge road. and flinders station. and supre. and target. and open spaces. green parks. bah.

anyway. so after career fair was kgourmet at pgp with dizzie and nassar. they ate and i got a strawberry milkshake, mmm. yammered more nonsense while they came up with evil conspiracies in relation to their friends which i shall not mention cuz its so MEAN and nonsensical. haha.

back in my room after that to rest for abit, slack slack, go through brochures, then research for term project.

then it was off to the library on a friday night wearing a t- shirt that says, "too cool for school". i befuddle even myself sometimes.

printed our journals required for literature review for soci of family. on my part i printed double sided (save paper!) and i chose rather interesting and diverse topics (i think). one is on WASP- wives as senior partners where the relationship revolves around the wives careers etc, representing a change in traditional marital roles; then affinity- maintenance in marriage and its relationship to women's marital satisfaction and lastly, something closer to heart; single versus two parent families: a comparison of mothers' time. while i see myself enjoying the general content, i dread the numbers involved. i think ghana has made me AVERSE to quantitative work!

he also has made me realized why i loved sociology in the first place. the deconstruction and reconstruction involved made me adore sociology for its acceptance of what society deem to be queer/ quirky/ weird/ deviant. unfortunately, many a soci module in NUS has made me jaded and left me questioning WTF am i doing this. now i do and i feel happier. i've even done research for his term project, of which i don't even know the due date yet. ganas and perkasa, yes?

biosem test this monday- this prof is a sadist la. 2 weeks back also got test; it seems every even week got test which falls on a monday after i'm stoned from 2 hours of tutorial. gah. unfortunately, this is another one of those modules that has truly engaged me and i have no choice but to succumb to geekdom.

after choosing 6 out of 15 books (for ONE term paper, there was just so many to choose from- some relevant, some for personal interest, heh), we left the library for greener pastures i.e. pastamania at harbourfront! prawn aglio and aglio olio for him. my pasta was free cuz my boyfriend is a pastamonger and he got 10 stamps on that wretched card and claimed the free pasta. so our dinner of 2 pasta dishes, garlic bread and coke costs $7.75. i like.

windowshopped for abit, then back to pgp cuz we both got work to do and i got to sleep early if i want to wake up in time for 8 am training tomorrow. i think coach is coming, so hopefully training will be more fruitful than thursday's. apparently i wasn't the only one frustrated, so maybe i wasn't being anal afterall. hmm.

okay la so obviously the longer my post, the less time i have to do readings and such. and the less time i have to do all that, the less time i have to sleep. so it will all become a very destructive vicious cycle. SO BYE.

everybody's changing.

someone turned 24 yesterday and thought i forgot! HAH.

birthday boy and glittery bling shirt. eh actually not boy liao 24 is MAN. MANNNN.

so its friday now. my thursday was a long, kick- ass one.

class 12- 2, after which was lunch at gecko's then emailing profs about term papers, etc. central forum is a disaster area for me; i ended up buying 1x spiderman stickers, 1x cute earrings, 1x jazz CD. TSK can.

BUT also met naz who responded to my ~~mating~~ dating call of yesterday. she suggested wednesday next week, whereby i'm free after 4 and its her free day. we plan plan everything already then i realized; err. isn't it vday on wednesday? isn't she celebrating? if she isn't that's fine cuz it fits nicely; 2- 4 lecture, HV at 5 with her and sinda tuition at 7. yupyup. so now must recall. aiyah.

after all the emails i changed up for soccer at 5, training was rather moribund today, probably cuz coach wasn't there. its just worrying to think that we haven't improved as a team after training together for so long. though i'm sure coach said we have, so we must have. maybe i'm just being anal again.

that aside. so post- training was shower and rush down to thomson plaza swensen's for birthday celebrationssss! and we got him a blue nike t- shirt i forgot to take a picture of but i think its damn nice okay. if got small i also want. and a cute card which you will all get to see. say yay!

my big toes are hurting. could i have sprained them? gee.

so anyway. swensen's! shared an omelette with suresh cuz we were craving for indian/ local food and decided to go easy at swensen's and finish off with supper elsewhere. hapizzz got his breaded chicken and and and we got the free firehouse happy birthday ice- cream since it was his birthday. ice- cream! whooh.

comfortable chats, and we realized how old we were in the course of our conversation.

dizzie: i'm so sleepy la...
suresh: ya i'm also quite tired.
fiza: tsk, we're so old la. people our age are clubbing la what la. ah, finish lecture go hall games training then go back eat dinner then shower then go clubbing. WE?! we're sleepy and tired at... *looks at watch* 9.40!!!

its outrageous, sad, but TRUE. life has caught up with us and we now play the catch- up game to time. sigh.

okay morbid thoughts aside, it was actually quite fun. hahaha. very fun, in fact. i'm glad that we got to spend time together, and i'm glad he liked the t- shirt. when its so easy to be happy i wonder why i bother being sad sometimes.

tomorrow is classes 10 -2, then off to the career fair with hapizzz. again, signs of old age. but, the show must go on.

i LOVE the new CD i (suresh?) got. its got timeless classics as well as new ones i haven't heard off like hello, dolly and sincerely and cry me a river... all very nice. dizzie took one look at the CD cover and said, "ah ya la so you... all these old songs."

okay i like today's photo set so i'll shut up and hit you with the shots.

birthday ice- cream!

also celebrating...

a very weird couple's 1.5 years together.

fiza: eh today is also our 1 year 6 months you know! we finally remembered!
dizzie: haha really ah? so long?!
fiza: YA! that day i scolded him that we've been together too long and he told me to suck it up.
suresh: ya what.
dizzie: to think i gave you guys like 2 months.
suresh: eh ya! you owe us a treat!

hahaha.

the cute card which unfortunately went against my sociological beliefs.

to celebrate the occassion, we each wore a ear- accessory.

my new earrings from central forum...

flower/ parsley boy.

the boy i'd cross continents for. and whom i'll marry if i remain single and undesirable at the grand old age of 35. eh? or was it 42?

awesome threesome.

after all that eating and yammering, it was time for MUSTAFA CENTRE as promised by the nehneh! i had loads of fun cuz i am so jakun like that. got football socks and pop tarts. apple cinnamon mmm.

24 hours beb.

after that was fong seng for maggie goreng and maggi soup. suppered, satisfied, then back to pgp it was.

i think its been a brilliant thursday. do you think so? i think so.

oh and i must show you this.

i love my badges. one is from suresh; purple one with the hippie chick. GEDDIT?! hahaha. and the other one is of the Fab Four. lovelovelove.

so much looooooooove in the air, and especially in my new CD which no, i cannot shut up about. i close my eyes when listening to the CD and everything becomes black and white, like a classic 50s movie. unfortunately, suresh was driving and could not envision a similar picture. "if you close your eyes, its like everything becomes a black and white movie..." "if i close my eyes... we'll crash."

i'm blessed with a girly bestboyfriend and a cuckoo nehnehboyfriend. what more could a girl want?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

bodybash.

woke up at 7 a.m. to go to work at the waffle shop, ended at 11, showered, changed, and went to school. plan was to study from 12- 2 then go for lecture. as usual life in NUS is unpredictable to say the least.

my attempts to print lecture notes were foiled by the jammed printer at USP comp lab and the long queue in the library. so i went to chatterbox to do my readings, but lo and behold who do i encounter on my way? sara. and naturally, we have to yammer on and on till we got to AS4 where she was supposed to have a project meeting which came to naught and we just talked and talked some more.

i think sara just banned me from marrying malay guys, especially if they're from USP. but malay guys in general. so sad. cuz she said in the even that i ever grow a pot belly (possible) and start getting tattooes (?), me and malay husband will be the stereotypical malay family with our malay malay kids. and i said that's okay cuz then my kids can win Miss Geylang 2010 or something. or become air stewardess hurhur.

so ya we exchanged a few unkind words over the one malay guy i've had a crush on in NUS since eternity (i.e. freshman year) and the verdict has not changed: its still a no. but i'm not going to go for a chinese or a bhai just because you know, sara.

okay so no one understand those lines but that's okay, i hardly do. i find it amusing that i'm nursing such a pathetic long crush on a guy who doesn't know i exist cuz that is so secondary school BUT i didn't do it then so i think this is delayed adolescent needs.

i have to do readings but i have the attention span of a 5 year old. i can't wait for soccer training tomorrow, that is the the only thing i enjoy about NUS sheesh. on that note; please remind me to buy all the NUS tshirts and windbreakers before i graduate hahahaha so i can wear them while i wash dishes at home. hmm.

oh met dizzie today! for like 4 minutes. he drove me back after class cuz my ankle sucked ass and he ended at 4 too. so yeap. 4 minutes. hmm. AND i think my best friend has ditched me for australia. farhana, i can't believe you didn't TELL me you were leaving la! you better buy me chocolates.

i am meeting sara this sunday for going out/ talking/ lalala session, which i truly miss. where have all my girlfriends gone? i know suresh and dizzie = 1 girl but i need more! shahira, farhana, gail, nazreen and other girls i can't remember now (but i truly deeply love)- i call upon you to ask me out now!

now that i've done my procrastination for the day, i shall go do some work. tomorrow after training i shall wheedle with suresh to bring me out somewhere cuz his parents are coming back on saturday meaning no more car priveleges so better go out to all the ulu- ulu places now when there's 4 wheels and an engine to take us there.

okaybye.

p.s.: i forgot to whine! cuz the title bodybash is about how entire body is aching after such a long day. standing up at waffle shop after yesterday's training then walking all over school then lecture... i slept after that till 7ish but i'm still achybreaky. hah. okay whined finish.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

midweek break.

free day = beach day!

woke up at 8 a.m. to head down to harbourfront macs to grab some hotcakes. drove to palawan beach, breakfast on a bright green bench by the beach. lovely lovely lovely. imagine, empty beach, early morning, bright sun, lapping waves. ahh. bliss.

tanned for a bit while reading my book, and when it got to warm it was into the ocean for some nice cool waters. spent a few hours in the water, player a bit of football and then it was to vivocity to get jack's belated birthday present and bearpapa's eclairs. seah im hawker centre for thosai then it was back to pgp. knocked out almost immediately; i think tanning/ sea water saps energy.

training at 5. new boots are great, but i still can't get a good cross. quite frustrating, but i'll keep trying. got to get the feet under the ball. can't seem to remember that. tsk. and my apparently kunyiang feet skin means i get blisters every training. which is as annoying. coach suggested taping up the blister- prone area before training since socks/ change of boots clearly don't make a difference.

dinner at munchie's with nehneh, seafood aglio olio is quite nice! and i LOVE strawberry milkshakes. mmm.

cake + present makes a party, despite lack of plates/ serviettes. ate cake off our bare hands. chitter chatter for a while then slowly, each of us left to go on with the responsibilities of a student/ blogger/ sick person.

early shift tomorrow at waffleshop, then a lecture at 2. gotta tuck in early tonight, waking up at 7 a.m. is no joke, especially after an exhausting soccer training.

discussed with the boys of the possibility of boycotting valentine's, but apparently it is impossible. cuz even if all the guys don't celebrate/ buy flowers, then one guy will say, "wah okay then i buy!" and thus get all the girls- according to joshua. hmm.

so anyway i want to shower then sleep and this process is longer than it sounds cuz in between there involves reading, reading, and reading. till i fall asleep. and depending on how interesting the book is, i might never sleep till its 3 a.m. hah.

today has been another one of those surprisingly good days, full of happy moments and tender smiles. racuous laughter and knowing grins. everything life should be.

happyyyyy.

Monday, February 05, 2007

i can be your hero, baby.

often in life, we seek for heroes from far and yonder. the humanitarian seeks to be a Mother Theresa, the writer seeks to be a Shakespeare. granted, we always seek to be the best at what we do, and hence pick an ideal to be emulated. but is that all there is to a hero? being the best at what he/ she does? surely, heroics is more than just the act, but how you did it as well.

for too long we've admired footballers from afar. footballers from the land of colonial masters, across continents and time, footballers from England, Spain, Portugal... and we fail to recognize the brilliant players that live among us.

i prefer a saturday evening snuggled in my sofa before the TV, watching Gerrard create miracles in Anfield; rather than making that trip down to the nearest stadium and watch the local boys make their own kind of magic.

the persistence and courage of the Lions in Bangkok yesterday served to remind me that heroes are among us. here at home, i've found people to look up to, people to admire, and not just from afar. people to inspire me to believe; football can be my life.

for the second time in 3 years, they've overwhelmed me with their passion, their ability to make miracles out of nothing. they've made me teared in pride and wonderment and just HOW THE HELL did they make that win. but they always do.

when Khairul Amri scored that goal, i saw the face of a boy, in awe of what he just did. in disbelief, at the magnitude of what that goal meant for a nation. with the final whistle, i saw a team collapse in joy, and i heard screams and shouts from across the entire neighbourhood; a nation in celebration.

heroes are not those born with strength, talent, with that little extra. rather heroes are not those who are gifted, but those who made something out of nothing. heroes have character; the persevere, believe, laugh, love, cry, and they fight to the very end cuz they do not know otherwise.

and i think the Lions did, and have, all that. wasn't it heroic how at the 85th minute, top- scorer and MVP noh alam shah still chased down the ball from one end of the field to the other? wasn't it heroic, how at a goal down, they maintained their compusure, defended as best they could, and got a goal back? heroic how subramaniam, in his possible last international game, made a critical clearance at the last minutes of the game? wasn't it heroic, how early in the game when a Thai player kneed his head, Mohd Noh simply laughed it off?

heroes are among us if we'd only acknowledge them. they did it in 2005, and they did it again yesterday. our win wasn't, and isn't, a fluke. we have in the Lions, a team of heroes, men with character, passion and pure drive. i don't say we do away with the EPL matches or the Ronaldo/ Gerrard/ Lampard idolatry but rather, i say we should take notice of these heroes who have done it for us time and again. i say we call them our heroes; heroes in their own right.

thank you lions, for convincing me football can be life.

so on that note, today post- class was queensway forrrrr... NEW BOOTS! :D :D :D my current boots are womens'/ kids' and somehow boot manufacturers think that being women/ kids, we need shallower studs. well we don't. my studs doesn't give me ample support and stability so i got new umbro's that has studs about an inch deeper than my current ones. i hope it helps my game.

saturday was the beginning of a new era; i.e. the era of soccer training at 8 am on saturdays. waking up is hell but getting to play makes it worth it. coach pointed out how easily i fall and i'm determined to bulk up, no way am i going to end up a ronaldo or a drogba or a robben or any of these disgusting divers. pity really, in the face of such brilliant football news, it was marred by ronaldo's elegant dive that earned him that penalty. for all his skills and talent sometimes ronaldo truly disgusts me.

post- training was home sweet home. nap till evening when suresh came to watch liverpool- everton with me. a 0- 0 it was but with 8 evertonians plus a keeper in defence, why should i be surprised.

sunday was town with mum, shopping at topshop! spent above $80 and we got a scratch card. we won an $18 voucher, whoopee! more shopping to come. then it was new place to see how paint job is coming along, packed food from west coast hawker then home for some ole ole ole.

thrilling match through and through, unlike before i still felt positive after thailand scored cuz i believed in the Lions ability to bounce back. i knew the game was never over, not until the referee's blows that whistle. and when he finally did, victory was ours once again.

so it was a lovely night, finished off with CSI and an old book. early start to monday to go back to campus, nap, and then class. got back test results which to say the least, is atrocious. i was convinced i would fail but far from it, i got above what the prof called average. so i'm quite pleased. but suresh did better, so i have to do better next time. hahaha.

post- class was, as aforementioned, queensway for boots. then pgp to nap, then west coast with mum for dinner. then a bit of a joyride around sembawang park, home to drop mum and have a bit of raspberry ripple ice cream and coffee for him, now back, at pgp.

a bit of rest, and early night in cuz we're off to the beach tomorrow, if the weatherman cooperates.

the colour of champions!

loves, watching sunday's game. mum kept shrieking. and i mean, SHRIEKing.

new home, new start, new perspectives.

happy days happy days, they never seem to end, do they?

Saturday, February 03, 2007

2 plays in 2 days.

exhaustion.

8 am tutorial yesterday, followed by breakfast at macs alone, revision, test at 12- 2, room for nap, soccer at 5, play at jubilee hall, 8 pm. brilliant play really. i enjoyed it tremendously, simply because they had a message and they tried to deliver it as best they could and i appreciate that. then supper at al- ameen. yumyum.

today was lectures 10- 2 back- to- back, then waffleshop duties 2.30- 6 pm. do you sense the rigour of my life yet? thank god its weekend indeed. watched holly's hall play at 8 pm at UCC, supper at fong seng, now back at pgp.

soccer training has been changed from sunday afternoons to saturday mornings. the good thing it frees up my sunday, allowing me to stay home longer on weekends and watch my medically recommended dosages of CSI and EPL. the bad thing is, saturday trainings starts at 7 a.m. o.O i am going to be one stonedtemplepilot.

so anyway. pictures!

thursday's play.

me and alexiussss.

me and my filipino mariaaaaa. hehe.

the nehneh! i lurps my dress. you lurps? from melbourne $7.50 only cheapcheap i luuuurps.

testing 1...

2...

3!

there's a story behind these elevator shots. i wanted to take them cuz the elevator was so purty, a classic from the colonial era. but as you can tell from the shots, you can't see much of the elevator anyway. then, because its REALLY from the colonial area, it takes 3954438763157654 light years to travel from level 3 to the basement carpark. and once we FINALLY reached the carpark, we STILL didn't have the shot including ALL of us. so alex FORCED all of us back into the lift. we got the shot...

AND the lift went back up to the 3rd floor. :) and we met natalie the producer! and weizhen got to ask her a question he didn't get to ask at the dialogue session so yeah. its all good. supper was loveleh, fried rice and rojak. LOVESLOVESLOVES.

today's play/ people.

interval = cam- whore session.

okaybye.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

that grand old dame.

did anyone buy The New Paper today? the second page has an article by tan tze yong (or something), about Kallang Stadium, the Lion Roar, etc.

i actually teared when reading the article. bits of it reeked of nationalistic vigour but other things hit a soft spot... like singing the national anthem with guts and glory and little tune. like jeering simply because the opponents are cheering. like roaring in anger even if the referee's decision was correct. but more aptly, the depiction of the child awaiting the familiar tune to be played, and cheerily replying the magical two- syllabled word, often their first vulgarity learnt. much to the frowns of the parents... :)

i've been to a few live matches in my days, and while i don't really recall matches i watched with my mum and dad back in the malaysia cup days very visually, i knew i went. i remembered talcum powder being thrown, bottles, my dad shouting like a hooligan (amusing, in reflection, cuz i think i sound like him now at a live match). and of course, that familiar tune and my first vulgarity learnt. and it seems so easy to just keep going back there and relive these.

Kallang has preserved so much of my happier memories and i'm glad i had them. i'm happy to relive moments with my dad when shouting along with others, happy to share those moments with new loved ones.

after i finished reading that article i smiled at the picture of my dad and me on the table. i'm sure he would have been looking forward to watching that match against malaysia, to shout ceaselessly against the country he was born in. i smiled at the picture, knowing in my mind, whether there was ever such a snapshot or not, i hold a picture of me and my dad in red, cheering on the Lions at good ol' kallang stadium.

and that is a memory i will treasure always.