being obscure clearly.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

2 a.m. and she calls me cuz i'm still awake

awake at this hour and churning out a 10- page soci essay on religion and homosexuality as we speak. am almost done so i shall give myself a break and sleep! just had hotcakes from macs too, perfect pre- meal before flopping into bed.

auditions for some thingy later. just giving it a shot, not sure if i really want it yet but it'll be fun to see if i have what it takes.

okay and i have to go to sleep now cuz like a vampire i must sleep before the sun rises or i will get a granddaddy of a headache. not like i don't already have one from this paper.

nights morning whatever.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

i've had a brilliant raya, so thank you, thank you very much.

20 photos to roughly summarise my preparations, deepavali and hari raya. :D

more to say but i'm exhausted from just uploading photos AND there is THAT term paper due next tuesday so more next time.

for all Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. :)

Friday, October 20, 2006

tiredddd

i'm beginning to feel the downward spiral. everyday i try to keep my head up but increasingly i can see the water level rising and hear myself choking but pretending i'm not.

i need to do so many things i don't think i will ever be able to finish it. i've got a term project due which is 30% of my grade and increasingly the paper looks impossible to do and i'm so worried i might have to just scrap it and redo it 1 day before submission. the backlog of readings is like sadako breathing down my neck and my injured ankles are just generally annoying. and then the exams loom ahead. and a presentation and readings and forum postings and more essays. argh.

oh and how can i forget. hari raya. every year its so goddamn hard to be happy because there's work work work. or some other piece of shit threatening to blow any signs of happiness to smithereens. and you think YOU'VE got problems. ugh. i hate it when there's so much to do i just become STUCK and don't even know where to START and worst of all it just becomes one huge mess in my head and i just want to keel over and die.

i feel like crying. then sleeping. but cannot, must do work. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

i hate this moment.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

geylang sipaku geylang

went to geylang with the nehneh today. so funnnn! ate ramly burger, got a cheap tunic and had putu piring. and air katira. oh and got his dad a batik shirt. :| haha yes. so funnnnn.

so many different kuihs, got quite a headache. but there's a new thing! tom yam cashew nuts! like the ones from chiang mai. so must go back and buy. hurhur. must buy chips also. all the different chips mmmmm.

watched the fotohi carpet gallery auctions for abit. very interesting okay! and this year's in- thing seems to be superglam kebayas. so many sequinsssss! blinding.

i need to survey 100 people for my paper. and i need to finish typing it by next friday. fierce.

yesterday was school, nap, dinner, basketball, macs supper and akeelah and the bee on my laptop at B1 tv room. hoo yeah. i love my windsorians. sounds so cheena totok saying that! haha. oh and joshua wore blue! wow! not black. and derek was beemer- less. tsktsk. holly sprained her ankle and alex got scratched. by me. haha. oh and my shooting is improving, yay! tomorrow is windsor dinner at munchies'. whoopee doo.

i haven't baked ANY kuehs so i'm screwed this weekend. maybe i should rope in suresh to help. hahaha.

i am very excited for this year's hari raya. very very very very very excited. my tailored baju is ready and i'm seeing it this friday. i have enough malay friends to visit. i am going to bake. i am EXCITED whoo!

i'm so melayunised now i am going to sing (type?) a malay song. APIIZZZZ you must sing with me! if you know la.

dingin malaaaaaaaaaaaam tirai kenangankuuu... menyerlahkannnn, segunung ingatan... terciptalaaaaah... i dunno whaaaat... semuanya, kudrat mu tuhan... alam bagai mengertiiii... apa yang terjadi.... lalalalaalalla laalala.... pertemuan tiada, awal akhIIIIIRRRRRRRR... BERUTUSANNNN blablabla KUTERIMAAAAA... GUGUR KUNTUMMMM DITENGAH HALAMANNNN... MEDAN INIIIIIIIIIIII KURASAKAN SEPIIIIIIIIIIIII... then dunno what. wah damn rock lor this song.

okay one more.

ewah ewah adik sungguh lawa, abang apa kurangnya hari ini hari raya! bila tiba hari begini umat islam bergembira menyambutnya disana- sini bersalam salam bersama!

eh bang yok kita nyanyi lagu apekebende tu! alah tak mahu laaa... alah bolehh laa... ah boleh la boleh la...

tok tak ola kain langsir ela ela nenek rambut putih datukk rambut merah emak jagan berleter bapak jangan marah jangan masuk kolong hari ini hari RAYA! selamat hari rayaaaaAaaAAa...

okay enough. now i will listen to online radio. warna sembilan empat dua rocks whoo!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

things.

5 of life's simple pleasures that makes me happy

1. waffles with ice- cream and maple syrup. okay fine so maybe its a craving but it IS $2.20 and makes me rather happy thankyou.

2. reading a good book from start to finish in a single day- in bed, preferably on a rainy day and accompanied by teh tarik. :))

3. playing football.

4. falling asleep in front of the tv.

5. laughing with my mum/ suresh/ farhana/ other people who matters.

21 things i've learnt so far

1. boys come and go, but best friends stick around. TRUST ME. i KNOW. hahaha.

2. friends come and go, but family is... well. family. :))

3. your best shopping partner is yourself.

4. starbucks is good for feeling very atas; glam shades and attitude intact. coffee bean is good for budget days; kids- size chocolate frap with whipped cream, shared.

5. flowers die. and when they do, they STINK. to high heavens.

6. i've written my best stuff at 2- 6 a.m.

7. nothing can make you smile quite like a child can. there is something very soothing about a happy kid that makes you feel, "well its not too bad..."

8. chocolates don't always work. really, they don't.

9. you can not cry at funerals but cry at sappy Disney movies. it doesn't mean you're particularly evil, but it could mean you're a little weird. and EVERYONE'S a little weird. :)

10. from 1- 12 years old, life can comprise only of you, your mum, your dad and your home. and that's it and that's more than enough.

11. from 13 onwards life suddenly includes many other facets and it helps if you just ignore some of them. like boys and hormones and bitchy girls.

12. if you're not quite pretty, not very cool, not part of the clique- make new friends.

13. when you're 15, you're not actually very ready for marriage. HAHAHA.

14. its not a must that you have to like flowers; some girls just prefer court shoes. boots. shin guards. jerseys. bags. not flowers or bears.

15. sometimes a guy can have everything and he's still wrong.

16. sometimes a guy is everything wrong and he's the one you can't shut up about.

17. sometimes lack of sleep can lead to ficklemindedness. the best remedy would be to sleep, not to act on the fickle decision. e.g. breaking up.

18. the best days are really always the simple ones. eat read sleep. happy day.

19. the closer you are to a person, the more likely it is for the relationship to fall out. keep a safe distance from everyone- except maybe your mum and boyfriend and best friend. the rest can stay at one arm's length away.

20. you don't always have to face the problem headlong. sometimes running away for a bit, when the situation allows for it, helps calm you down and gives you a better picture.

21. falling into deep slumber could be one of the best best best sensations in the world. the kind of deep slumber whereby when awakened, you don't know where you are and hitting consciousness is like falling down from the high clouds into void space.

and now its time for me to fall into that deep slumber. its 3.49 a.m. and i have class at 10 a.m. genius.

Monday, October 16, 2006

just another manic monday

wishing it was sunday!

friday.

packed for home. dropped by causeway to get flowers, card and a present for mum who turned 46 on friday the 13th. heh. went home, left everything in strategic places then made my way to hougang sports hall for futsal tournament. lost 3 out 4 matches, and a goalless draw with another team. wasn't too bad, could have been much better. i think i'm more comfortable in the left midfield, maybe a defensive mid but with the option of going forward if i want. yeap. okay. then it was macs with the bunch of girls in our stinky jerseys. had a double cheese, a mc chicken and fries. pe- uuw. damn noisy till macs finally closed (not 24 hours!). train ride back to admiralty with azra and wanrong- fellow northwesterners.

saturday.

arab street with mum. hairdo at designer guy. nice hair treatment for me and a trim for her. new dress from one of the many funky shops there and broke fast at yasmin cuisine. chinese food buffet- pretty good stuff. got eclairs from beardpapa's and tiramisu from royal's then it was home for soccer.

sunday.

visited my dad's grave. this is the first time i was there without shedding tears. i guess after years of living with it, i've now accepted it and dealt with it, and i know that he's never coming back and i will never have a dad, not quite like him. there will never be another dad, only a cheaper imitation of the first. but all is well- i can only pray for the best for everyone.

after that was cousin's place. got another new baby in the family. his house was madness. 5 kids running wild, varying from 8 year olds to 1 year olds. and then a little 9 month old baby in a basket. heh. i remembered the haze was particularly bad that soccer training was cancelled. oh and i was particularly thirsty. bought drinks and food from causeway bazaar and slept once i got home- only to find out at 6.55 p.m. that i had gotten my period and could not fast. bah. cramps ensued and was too exhausted to return to pgp that very night.

so this morning was train and bus ride back in the ever thick haze. its horrid. i feel sick perpetually because of it. and i am craving for waffles. dammit.

watched the godfather 2 for film history module and i couldn't understand jack. oh well. google it i will.

pictures from arab street.

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and that's it. hooray! off to research for my papers now. bah.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

brat brat brat

so what was the surprise date about?

he brought me out so that he can buy me court shoes! for my street soccer tournament this month. wheeeeeee. got nice leather lottos. :D i'm spoilt i know but i didn't even ask for it la.

then it was tom yam glass noodles at thai express for me, and aglio olio at pastamania for him. and pretzels. yum.

train down to harbourfront, bought bread for pre- dawn meal then now i'm here. do readings, post forums, type paper. bah.

yesterday was belated celebration for sosuaaaaa. started off with the mid- autumn festival held by USP at lovers' park next to forum. free food! after a while we drifted away from the crowd and sat on a bench by ourselves. because the bench was on a slope it was shaky and tilted. someone said, "eh the bench must be quite light!" and someone else said, "let's carry it!" and so the 6 of us ended up carrying the entire park bench (of a table and 4 long seats) to a different plot of land. yeap. then we made our way back to pgp for the weekly basketball session. inevitably got distracted by the photo- taking booth and so 5 of squeezed ourselves into that booth. yeap.

back at pgp we changed up, played basketball till lights out, talked cock till 12 and got hungry again. so it was a looooong walk to fong seng. two stops away from fong seng we saw a bus coming and ran across the road to catch it. yeap. then it was food glorious food! i had 1 mushroom cheese prata and 1 maggi goreng. anne had like mushroom cheese prata, egg prata and shared a roti john with holly. basically it was all madness. so much food.

finally made our way back and as usual, holly was half- drunk from oxygen. haha. got some incriminating videos as evidence. hahaha.

reached pgp, showered, and met up again at B1 tv room to talk cock till... 7 a.m. :| :| :|

every week i say its retarded unhealthy crazy blablabla and every tuesday we do it again. !!

so yes, time for a quiet night and somehow i can't stop eating! had my tom yam glass noodles, then pretzels, then a cheese boat, then another cheese boat, and now i'm hoping for sosua to return with a pandan blueberry waffle. tsktsktsk.

well, off to history readings then.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

d d d d dateeee

yay i got asked out on a date for wednesday! whee! so very fun okay. what constitutes a date when you've been in a relationship too long to be able to tell? when he asks you 3 days in advance. haha.

i should be studying for my test tomorrow OR my test on tuesday but i am too exhausted to think. besides its open book- famous last words! never mind i will mug my ass off after this.

injured my hamstring playing touch rugby for usp during the inter- fac games on saturday so i sat out for 1/4 of today's soccer training. and the cuckoos of women's soccer gave me a n0. 7 jersey to wear for the futsal tournament. which means the opponents will mark me like crazy. which is quite good la, cuz i am a left- back if they mark me confirm my forwards got alot of space, haha!

oh apol and nana azra will be playing also so do you want to come and watch one of the games? haha. then we can go stuff our faces after that. and nana where is your blog?!

i should prepare my surveys about homophobia soon. lalala. any suggestions? survey questions about homophobia in relation to religion.

wah shit my hamstring suck.

today while i sat out i watched the nus men's team playing against some bunch of ang mohs. the ang mohs damn bossy ah! so action you know. then i dunno whaaat la the nus guy did, then this ang moh said, "hey you keep playing like that you'll never make it to the national team!" one hefty shove later, "how can you play for the national team like that?"

and i'm like .................. you think these guys give a shit? as if they can go national team one lor! if they can they won't be here can. they'll be with the national team! doink. these ang mohs are so full of shit sometimes. highlights of the game: a fight leading to 2 red cards; one for each team and a penalty against NUS for a handball that harpreet the keeper guessed wrongly and hence conceded. tadaa.

portugal won azerbaijian 3- 0 and czech beat san marino 7- 0. whooh fierce. i want a portugal- czech final. england drew against macedonia. HAHAHAHAHA. no beckham also still suck. new manager also still suck. therefore, england suck. HAHAH.

okay i better go study wait i fail then i cry then i have to remember that i brought it all unto myself.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

aidilfitriiii, hari bahgiaaaa

the month where i speak the most malay; ramadhan. as it is i'm hearing hari raya songs and fetishistically singing along. too bad no one can entertain me and sing along. i should make suresh learn some.

went to bugis for breaking fast with mum. siam kitchen. not too bad, but i've had better thai food. then it was off to GEYLANG again. my goodness. but something good came out of that- which was i got myself dendeng. oh yeah.

don't feel up to blogging lately, feeling a little drowned by school work. less people are reading my blog too, as my tracker seems to tell me. but what can i do. if i want to make it as a writer i need to at least get my honours anyway. so priorities, ey.

pictures from geylang.

i love the annual lights at chinatown, geylang and serangoon. maybe i'll do a series this year. we'll see.

i need to pee, study, sleep then play touch rugby tomorrow. so toodles.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

shoot!

practiced shooting today. so i suck. hurhur.

playing in a futsal tournament this month; every friday this october beginning next week. lalala. this saturday is touch rugby IFG. playing for usp, we're terribly short of girls. what's new.

went to harbourfront hawker for breaking fast. thaksin beef noodles mmmmm. and putu mayam. hoo yeah. now i have twix and sushi for pre- dawn meal. :D

another exhaustive day today. straight classes 10- 4 p.m. napped till 5 then soccer till 7ish. was really really hungry at one point and craving terribly for soupy noodles; i.e. beef noodles/ sliced fish soup mee hoon.

i have two tests coming up; monday is the lit test (two 2- page essays/ 1 4- page essay in 50 minutes!) which is open- book, then tuesday is biodiv test- mcq but not open- book. bahhhh. midsem tests suck.

one term paper due 27th. gotta start on that one.

dinner with mum tomorrow. thank god its friday really, its a free day and i can just bum/ study till breaking fast. recover from today's session too. my thighs feel like lead.

i miss watching spongebob. i want my midsem break back!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

bread and butter pudding makes me high

finally got around to watching singapore dreaming for my tutorial next monday. not bad at all. we've come a pretty long way from one leg kicking but i think there's still room for improvement. while i see the central themes of being singaporean and the dreams and failures of it all, i think the time is right to move on from centering films on chinese families, thoughts and culture, and moving it on towards something broader and larger. could try collaborations with prominent malay playwrights, indian producers, and maybe together they can come up with a cogent film on singaporean living.

that aside. dinner at vilage; the marche- like restaurant where the old marche used to be at heerens. food is almost the same, but NO SAMBAL STINGRAY. bah. but rosti was good, mushroom & cheese crepes good, and BREAD AND BUTTER PUDDING WAS DA BOMB. so good i fell asleep on the bus back like a baby.

yesterday was madness! 10- 12 was himalayan project forum and discussion. the guv'nor of india (NOT) came and that was pretty much the highlight. stayed in school till 2 only to find out 2 o'clock tutorial was cancelled. pfft. but all was good, went back to my room to sleep till 5. then it was touch training 5- 7 p.m., time- wasting at munchie's where i did not get food so i left, basketball with windsorians, then supper at fong seng, madcap discussions, laugh laugh laugh, derek dropped us back, holly indecisive about leaving, sat by the roadside, derek parked again, played 'extreme basketball' across road, went to lounge to bum bum bum till 4ish A.M where derek finally left, and me and holly and alex and suresh went to his kitchen to eat ordered macs meals and heated up pizza and maggi mee. whooh.

lucky today free day. so shag la! woke up at 1. yeowwww.

now must do abit of readings then sleep. tomorrow 10- 4 p.m. straight lectures then soccer training. phew. then done done DONE for the week! :D

its been a good few months. and i am msn- ing with dizzie with his webcam on. hahaha. so i am busy! bye!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

i don't like where this title bit ends up.

i much prefer where my title used to be. nyeh.

but anyway. monday! happy day! new shoes, yay! my my we're rhymy today. BUSTA RHYMES YO.

anyway. i got readings to do FOR REAL this time so NO long stories to give ANYONE headache (lim i think your headache due to bau make- up, not my post hurhur) only many many pictures cuz i am so bored.

I love your funny face,
Your sunny, funny face;
You can't repair it,
So I declare it
Is quite all right

Funny Face; Ella Fitzgerald

he sat through me devouring 2 pieces of chicken from KFC like the hannibal lecter i've always dreamt to be. :) he thinks my short attention span is cool (well at least harmless) and continues (or at least pretends) to be impressed by my many stupid faces. when a girl has few talents, a man who appreciates it all is priceless.

bwahahaha so mushy already. okay enough. BYE! don't forget to brush your teeth and clean behind your ears! kangkong is convulsive and popeye eats bayam- like me! whooh!

Monday, October 02, 2006

I got titles now, yo.

titles look like titties. no?

anyway.

i should stop listening to daddy yankee. that idiot doesn't speak a word of english, is frighteningly catchy, but causes mighty headaches at 2 a.m.

yeap, am back at pgp. highlight of the day: I SCORE GOAL TODAY YAYYYYYYYY.

and that's all. then i go back pgp and shower. ohohoh after training ended at 7.30 i walked to the vending machines and got myself ice- cold 100 plus wah SHIOKENEHNEH I TELL YOU. SHIOKENEHNEH TO THE MAXXXXXX.

imagine you fast the whole day, then you play soccer and run like mad dog wahhh. ice- cold 100 plus is like godsent la.

so anyway. after i showered i took the shuttle down to arts fac. withdraw money then dinner- ed at macs. BIG MAC. lagi bes this one. nothing exudes luxury like a huge chunk of burger in your mouth. big mac. big. ummph.

i think lack of food affects the brain. you think?

so anyway after food i dropped by KR Hall to visit lalamy! the boy just recovered from chicken pox (according to my mum: chicken marry pig the baby = chicken pox how lame i know) so i figured we could use the chitter chatter since its been a while. so there i was in his room yammering away, missed the last shuttle, helped fold his laundry and whoohoo helmetless bike ride back to pgp whoo yeah.

i love sundays. actually i love most days. but i forgot to do my reading for tomorrow AND my topshop voucher expires tomorrow too so priorities = go town before class tomorrow. and read reading NOW la. :D

wah i still got kfc craving dammit. and i need to download songs. someone send me never felt like this before by paul mccartney can thankyouverymuch.

what else. oh liverpool LOST. to BOLTON. like apekebende itu! uhh let me translate that. like what is that? something like that la. wah laoooooo. 2- 0!! 2- 0!!!!!!! WTH WTH WTH. rubbish la. how to challenge for EPL title like that. so.frustrating. i even texted nehneh: "wahlao i should find a new hobby. if i wasn't such a huge fan of liverpool it wouldn't suck so bad when they lose." that time they lost to man u i cried lor. so lame.

wah even more best was that champs league final. 2nd ac milan goal cry, 3rd ac milan goal cry, half time cry, 1st liverpool goal SOBBING on my KNEES all. damn drama la. i should calm down.

oh yes and thanks to that delightful visit to blk D level 3 room dunno what at KR hall now i got that ~~titties~~ titles up there. laremy is da bomb. laremy also has a mountain of laundry. hahaha. so do i! laremy, you must come over and help me! hahaha.

apparently i can't RSS feed my blog. abenyehbenyeh.

i don't like tempehs. eurgh. and tofu. i only like japanese tofu cuz i am so atas like that. i like bayam which is like water chestnut or something. right? no? aiya dunno la. vegetable is vegetable is vegetable is green.

i like thai express's KANGKONG lor sedap until can tonggeng! tonggeng is... i should stop spouting random malay words. tonggeng is sticking your butt in the air. so yes, IMAGINE THAT! eat kangkong at thai express until your butt is sticking in the air. that is THE SHITS.

i am going to make instant noodles later, if the electric kettle decides to co- operate. or else i take water from the hot water shower. damn gross right? eat instant noodles in the toilet HAHAHA tomorrow morning whole toilet smell of MYOJO Tom Yam! hahahaha.

shit i wanted to google something and tell you all then i forgot. see laaaa.

ish my neck pain my left arm/ wrist cramp my legs also cramp. how like that? suresh say cramps means lack of salt in your system or something like that. or maybe its lack of some other vitamin. eh? hmm.

i'm going through a multiple crush phase but every 10 seconds i decide that the guy is not crush- worthy. this shit has gotta stop! whoo!

i need new contacts. tsk. and what should i buy from topshop tomorrow? i am going alone so dangerous wait buy the whole shop how? DANGEROUS.

nehneh got new soccer ball! whoo! at my financial advice he decided to go sportslink and bought the $14.90 ball. lucky i didn't buy. :D i bought new sports bra! VERY PRETTY OKAY. new soccer socks- the other is too long. and new tee for soccer- picture of a girl heading a ball and slogan- USE YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD. hurhur.

i score goal today! whoo! not bad okay, i play defence one lor.

okay i am distracted by alot of things. good night la. i should do readings. boooo don't want. nyeh.