being obscure clearly.

Friday, March 31, 2006

i am always grateful the minute i set foot at home but today i am particularly delirious with joy that if not for my well- placed germphobia, i would have kissed the floor the minute i stepped in.

albeit it was empty but a home is a home nonetheless and i was just swamped with pure relief to see the sight of the curtains, the TV, the sofa, the stairs to my room...

as you can tell, its been a long day.

so last night i was up till 4.30 a.m. doing all i can to finish my paper. 12- 12.15 a.m. i was in the store room lifting random boxes weighing abt 5 kg each just to get to the lowest box where my heels were. things we girls do for umm, love. of clothes. and uhh shoes. okay anyway.

so i had class 10- 12 on evolution and inspite the exhaustion my brain was surprisingly alert. benefits of caffeine i guess. edited my term paper on merlion, did biblio stuff, printed and submitted. one down 3 to go. patience patience patience.

initial plan to mumbo jumbo through the rest of the sports history paper till submission time at 11 p.m. was scrapped cuz the prof kindly extended it to this sunday. yayyyyy!

so yes i promise tonight i'd finish it. no more nightmares.

then it was lecture 4- 6 and school is O- V- OVAHHHHHHHH for the week! hurray! POP ME SOME CHAMPAGNE Y'ALL!

and i hate jodie kidd. do any of you watch travel and living? jodie kidd is this model who's basically given money to shop with in different countries on this goddamn annoying show called fashion avenue. what kind of a job is THAT? i also want la!

so yes my birthday wish this year is to have a thousand dollars to have a shopping spree. and its my 21st birthday so i should get what i want!

*grumble grumble grumble*

but i got what i want today also la. evening drizzle, cheese fries and chicken wings at my void deck. :) you always make me smile.

so yes rest time now for one tired exhausted girl.

so i've got like an intro paragraph done...

then i get distracted by these.

that's poppy, daisy and apple.

poppy and daisy are dolls of my favourite travel and living show host; jamie oliver. they are THE cutest things. and with names like that you really can't go wrong.

and yeap, that's apple martin, daughter to gwen paltrow and hot- rocker chris martin.

common factor: hot ENGLISH fathers. or as daisy would say, "dada".

i am so motivated to become an SPG now.

its probably the blonde hair and milkywhite skin and blue eyes but i don't see anyone complaining so yea.

okay BACK to paper. blimey my procrastination is a scientific phenomenon i swear.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

kids gone wild

dear God, i am eternally grateful to You for having sent me a boyfriend who eats like a pig, allowing me to do the same (but why is he indian? okok never mind i'll keep him).

for lunch alone we had kaya toasts, vege curry + rice for him and fish tom yam + rice for me at thai express, pretzels and iced latte.

and before any of you think we are so rich do remember i happen to be an orange card member meaning i get 10% off my thai express meals, or like today, 20% cuz we went to thai express 7 days ago. good shit y'all. go apply. its worth the buck if you love thai food like i do.

paper due at 11 p.m. tomorrow and i have yet to start. i have, however, copied and paste the question from IVLE to word document. YAY ME! PROGRESS!

ok la don't panic okay? i got essay outline all. and sources. just laaaaaazy.

ok i want to watch tv. later.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

what you call the token post

i am FINALLY home. irony of it all was i only had one thing planned for today; tuition from 7- 9. but decided to have dinner with erwin and his dad post- tuition at adam road and walla!

but mutton chop adam road rocks so no complains man. none at all.

i just finished my singapore studies paper this afternoon (yay clap clap!) so i decided that i deserved some online time. but i still have the sports paper due friday as well, AND the project proposal for evolution. all in good time, all in good time.

thought of the day: does rectify have anything to do with rectum?

and what are you supposed to say in response to "my brain is dead"? sheesh.

good things do happen to good people and i know this because the bestpren hapiiiiiiz is going on exchange to melbourne! yay! i promise promise promise to save money and visit you okay? have fun but don't come back with an australian accent/ twang/ loghat, confused over your IDENTITY, or call yourself a hybrid. understand?

basically don't become a jor-net. "oh cuz like i spent a year in LA for exchange and now i am confused as to where i really belong..."

-_-

baby also spend 9 months in womb lei come out to world not confused one lor. ninabei spend 2 sems in cock ang moh country come back want to kao pei kao bu become americano. chinese name is chinese name la don't happy happy anyhow give yourself english name can. suddenly want people to call u janet. song boh chinese name cannot slang issit.

there you go, some pure singaporean english for you right there. now you know why gahmen make speak good enggris campaign. you imagine if ang moh kia listen to us talk like that in train in coffee shop in anywhere confirm they either think we siao or they will adapt to our mutated linguistics and bring our language back to the tamadeland.

but of course not right. since when ang moh got adapt to us. its always we adapt to them. we talk to ang moh we also all become ang moh and slang here slang there. we got normal asian name sinyi go ang moh countr must conform and become janet cuz sinyi cannot pronouce in angmoh slang mah. we stay singapore 20 years and go cock ang moh country 1 year we come back we confuse cuz dunno what is our true identity; singaporean or ang moh kia?

okay very sorry i was supposed to do token post only meaning oh today wednesday now 11.49 p.m. i haven't bathe i come back pee i eat mutton chop but then of course my brain so power ah think one thing type another thing then on and on until like that. very dangerous one cuz everytime end up exceed word limit. knnbccb nus word limit 2500 i cannot finish what i want to say can!?!

okay la i better go do my paper or wait i die liao. wish me luck and i promise no more singlish- laden posts. unless requested la hor then must fulfill mah cuz singlish is an icon of local culture and i must do all i can to champion it cuz we MUST BE CHAMPION!

okbye.

Monday, March 27, 2006

same old story, same old story
would really love to chat with you
but i'm so sorry, no can do
term papers, term paperS, are due.

maybe after i google real madrid
and finish watching football hooligans
maybe after i drool over soccer players
i'd finally be able to start on my paper.

its such a pity, great pity
what tragedy has befallen me
if you think you've got it bad, listen
this friday? papers due i have THREE.

as you can tell i'm not very poetic
but really, you must be honoured i try
now i must really get back to the words window
if i delay any longer i would die.

i apologize in advance, but expect more of such lowmentalactivityneeded kinda blog posts between today and this friday.

your patience shalt be rewarded.

LIMA DARHAMMMMMMMMMMM!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

one good reason to be american.

victoria's secret.

LOOK! LOOK AT ALL THOSE SHOES!

all i want, ALL i want right now, is a pair of decent espadrilles. probably simple jute base with white ribbons, no patterns necessary.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! not only do they throw the wretchedly ugly and mutated MERLION at me, they also refuse to give me ESPADRILLES! WHY SINGAPORE WHY!?!?!?

yes, there ARE wedge shoes in singapore right now but all i've seen are UGLY. imagine a merlionesque shoe. yes, ouch.

all i want are a decent pair of shoes and i can't get it here. the inexistence of these beauties is incomprehensible to me.

over in america, well at least at victoria's secret ALONE, there's enough espadrilles to cover the entire surface area of singapore, including the islands and the causeway.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

shoes shoes shoes i want shoes arghrglkfkjeritdfnjbutoroidnsmbg.

umph. *wipes froth*

you know what this means? this means i have to get an AMERICAN boyfriend. do you have any idea what a HASSLE that is?

and how can i leave this sweet indian boy?

sigh.

singapore, you're being such a bitch right now. i demand you to import some bloody nice espadrilles from VS preferably, right NOW and no i don't CARE if its a sunday. i want em' goddamn shoes.

siesifnrejvfdk.gdjkb hahthjgkhfgahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i hate term papers.

and yes i know the seeming lack of focus on the term paper i'm supposed to be typing is stunning but i'll tell you what else is stunning.

these shoes,

and the fact that we don't have THOSE...

but have THIS instead.

tak hemsem okay. not hemsem at ALL.

i am sad.

i'm typing so much about the merlion right now i feel like i'm about to evolve into that half- lion half fish thing in the next few seconds. gahhhhhhhhhh.

why must singapore have such an idiotic icon that evokes such displeasure in me to the point where i can spend all 2500 words i have just opposing it. and i still need to show my support for singlish! how how how. merlion, you wretched beast. you've ruined my term paper.

okay sorry momentary panic there.

i hate term papers.

i am hungry.

but at least i'm 3/4 through my paper. whee! seems more likely i can finish it by tomorrow. yessssssssssssss ah.

i rock susu, ayams and you!

edited: susu= milk, ayam= chicken hence ayamS= chickenS. okay bye.

post- edit.

wo ai ni borabora.

just so you can feel the same ache as i do now. the most unhealthy state of mind to be in is to be typing about a contrived national icon while drooling over the picture of a gorgeous island 2 bank heists and 4 plane hijacks away.

sigh.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

school trip

honestly do not feel up to this. 4.5 hours surrounded by primates. i know usually i'm quite excited to visit the zoo and i know when i first found out we had a zoo trip i was excited to the point of embarassment, but just today, of all days, just today, i don't want to associate myself with any form of living things.

its a good thing laptops are inanimate objects. i've always loved inanimate objects. they don't hurt or harm you, they let you do your own thing and yea, sometimes they give warning signals of overusage like hanging up your call halfway or disconnecting you from MSN every 10 seconds but all in all, i think inanimate objects got this unconditional love thing more down to pat than any other living things.

yeah i know some might say pets. but pets don't just live to please you you know. you need to please them too. feed em', play with em'. so once again inanimate objects come out tops cuz i can leave it for days on end and its not gonna complain like a woman and whine about feeling neglected. nor would it get green with envy if i so easily replace it, in a day, with a new machine.

so give it up for inanimate objects y'all, for their years and years of unconditional lovin'.

sigh.

i am not inspired to complete my essay as yet but i know what i want to put in there so i guess i'm safe. but still. 902/ 2000. hmm okay looks better like that doesn't it? halfway through. ahh. that's not so rough.

so yes. zoo. last time i went to the zoo was last december with the maplek after he returned from his melbourne trip. it was exhausting, but great fun too. still remember that green snake we encountered.

and then i fast- forward to today and i wonder how i could have changed so much. i used to be so happy and contented but lately i fall so easily. its stupid really, but i do. i never honestly did trust the world, but lately its alot more worse and i find myself getting increasingly defensive. it almost doesn't matter who the person is, i just want to bring up all my protective walls within seconds of conversation.

sometimes i look back and try to pinpoint at which point of time exactly i stopped trusting. but its hard to tell these things, isn't it? its all a constant process, an evolving emotion. like i said, only lately am i so wary of everything. so maybe small things that didn't seem significant at that time made a deeper impact than i thought.

hurhur. deep impact. i never watched the movie though. hmm.

i'm the biggest advocate there is of happiness being of your own doing, and that you shouldn't be expecting others to hand it to you on a plate, or expect someone else to make you happy. you define your own happiness. and i'm not asking anyone to make me happy right now, but i do wish i could centre my thoughts again on how to be contented again cuz at least then this blog title remains true, isn't it? its aaaaaaaall about integrity.

haha. must be the tiring week. when was i ever this emo? shit man. must be some overdose of estrogens somewhere. leave me alone all you pussies! someone hand me my hormonal pills! yea, the one with testerones!

i recall doing a meme some time back, on in how what ways am i a man. maybe now is a good time to give it some serious thought.

1. i have a huge ego and yes, i let it get in the way of everything and anything, to the point of irrationality. "you're wrong." "err why." "CUZ I SAY SO!"

2. i don't like talking about my problems. think cavemanesque grunt ala "unghh," "umpph" and "aunghh".

3. i can't wear heels. which is almost NOT a valid case in point cuz have you seen kumar strut it in STILETTOS??? shame on me. KUMAR has nicer hair, can wear heels and know how to do FULL FACE make up which for the life of i me i would never be able to do or wear.

4. i am most likely to fall asleep immediately after sex cuz i don't think i'm into the whole 10 seconds of bullshitting on how good it was or the post- coital cuddle every woman rave about. you're in bed man. sleep. to put it bluntly, i do somehow understand the perspective of how sex is like a sleeping pill. just pop one in and off to dreamland you go.

5. i check out girls alot more than boys. seriously. if you see my search history you'll see angelina jolie, adriana lima, salma hayek, bipasha basu, rachel bilson and i don't know what else. and if you do find a male name, BINGO! go buy 4D. and i think in general, women are hotter than man. if i pitt (hurhur get it get it) jolie against johnny depp, it might be a close call but i'd still say jolie is the hotter human being. and that's saying alot.

fortunately for all you men i am straight still. but unfortunately for you as well, i have an indian boyfriend which is reaaaaaally setting the yardstick up high. hurhur.

sigh. i still can't decide if i want to go to the zoo. i should just go, i know, but the thought of having to come out of room (i.e. protective walls) and face the world (i.e. evil dark forces) really depresses me.

why must i live in a country with millions of people? i should go live on an island la. mali or tioman or borabora. then if anyone want to come disturb me also must travel so much in the end they just get tired and give up. then YAY! i'm granted my eternal peace.

i should go eat before this hunger does further damage to my brain cells.

have a good weekend all. if i do go to the zoo/ night safari, i'd try to snap some pics for your viewing pleasure aye.

pooodah.

Friday, March 24, 2006

i am slowly falling in love with my compaq. as they say, love takes time and patience is a virtue and there is no such thing as love at first sight so yes, i will give this time.

i might be on a rebound. it IS a white laptop still. i guess white laptops are my erotic mould. and if you don't know what i'm talking about please move on to the next sentence and do not comtemplate further the implications of that phrase.

i am hungry and my stomach is clearly rumbling but i just can't be fucked to eat.

this is what happen when i embrace the defeatist theory.

every once in a while it happens. i try, i believe, i trust, and it backfires. slaps me right back in the face and rather than pick myself up and just get a bloody move on, i wallow a little in what i call the deafeatist stigma.

basically you feel defeated and tired of battling so you just sit down in the trench and wait till you're ready to fight again. and while you're in the trench you don't give two fucks about anyone else around you cuz hello, you're tired. you just wanna rest your ass and be selfish.

the defeatist theory is also the equivalent of the temporal give- up. you give up, for awhile, but you get back to it.

defeatist cuz you're defeated. but nothing's permanent these days. not even defeat.

sigh. sometimes i wonder why all the shit happens. i appreciate how my life is so much better than that kid in india, that prostitute in africa, the anyone in anywhere.

but RIGHT NOW i am in my trench and i am selfish and if anyone as much as tells me to get a move on, i will stuff a grenade in your mouth.

good news is i retrieved my assignment from dead laptop so i'm set to go to finish it over the weekend. bad news is there is a zoo +night safari trip for my evolution class tomorrow from 3.30- 8.30 p.m. i love the zoo and all that but really, i'm in no state to be among any form of social activity, be it primal or otherwise.

wow whining is thereupatic indeed.

anyway i feel like slamming the new malay dude in PAP, that zaqy fella. well not slam, but provide some constructive criticism.

but then i realized i'm probably being watched by a jillion and one singaporeans, of whom 98% are PAP supporters so no point being exiled so young.

i'll save my political controversies at a time when i can afford to migrate la. for now i shall hold my tongue, bite on it if necessary, and hopefully i won't choke on my own blood.

"refuse conformism." pffffffffffft. the first step to conformity is the be in the conformists' alliance.

but i am no political science major. i am a mere sociologist with hardly a 3.0 CAP so what do i know. pah.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

morning of wednesday, 22nd march 2006, my iBook G4 died out on me.

sent to applecare and they said the logiboard gave up on me. since warranty expired a month ago, i could either pay $1000++ for a new logiboard or rather, buy a new machine.

and then they told me the elaborate manner in which i am to transfer my (fortunately) functioning hard drive into a fellow Mac, before transferring it to my new non- Mac machine.

yes, i'm off Apple for now.

meet kopak.

why kopak you ask?

well aside from the fact that it sounds like compaq, there's also the fact that it costs a whopping $2599. terkopak poket yaaaa (burn a hole in your pocket, or something).'

and its very weird that when i press F9 my windows don't zoom in and zoom out. :( i miss apple. sigh.

but things need to be done, like term papers. and recovering half- done term papers from dead laptop. so yes, i will leave you for now.

i need coffee.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

the elevator ethics and the case of the toilet bowl

its wonderful to be able to see my room without switching on the lights. yes, its been awhile since i've gotten home before daybreak.

school was, well, school. soci pop quiz was POP indeed and i totally bombed it. no heads up means no recent mugging means i need all my other paperss to pull up my 3101 grade now. bodengdengs.

but all is good. being the mentel, gatal and itchy backside human being that i am, i decided to wear veeeeery slight heels to school today. veeeeeeeery slight. and i got blisters before i even entered my first tutorial class. fortunately forum had ANOTHER one of those endless bazaars and i got to buy $10 flip flops. sigh. why can't i wear heels? like not even occasionally! it makes me feel so incomplete as a woman. but more on my hormonal incosistencies another time. i've got stories to tell here!

well after lunch break me and suresh went to the cube so that i can show him how to look for journal articles online, to help beef up his term paper.

now all of you NUS FASS students would know that the elevator you guys take to go to 4th floor from Old Admin block also serves level 1, 2 and 3 right? and that level 3 has this clubroom for USP students so there ARE days when the elevator stops at 3 BEFORE 4?

well apparently some people don't.

me and suresh entered the elevator, and this girl started jabbing the close button (yes, another thing. WHY OH WHY can't they do some maintenance on the wretched elevator? it takes decades to close). but i, me, moi, the GOOD samaritan, saw this girl clad head- to- toe in pink running towards the closing doors and quickly pressed open.

so now all is dandy. me and maplek headed to 3rd floor, the rest obviously to 4th. but like i said, some people don't seem to realize that the elevator does not serve level 4 ALONE NOR does it go STRAIGHT to level 4 before stopping at other levels. level 3 happens to be before it so clearly, we'll get there first.

when we hit level 3, door opens, and girl in pink DASHES OUT like the flash. take note the next scene happens in seconds.

she dashes out, i step forward since i was behind her, she realizes its not 4th floor, did a sudden about- turn and crash headlong into me. and i lost my balance and suresh managed to catch me but then SHE lost her balance and kinda just lied on me vertically, if you can even imagine that.

i was quite reasonably flustered seeing how i had just been bludgeoned into by a pink battering ram. and she took awhile to regain her balance too, all this time saying "oh oh oh oh oh" repeatedly while she leaned against me. thank god suresh was behind me or else we would have collapsed in a heap in the elevator and that is DAMN UNGLAM OKAY.

what i cannot comprehend is her endless need for speed. is she on steroids?! i mean she RAN for the elevator, ran OUT of the elevator, then ran back INTO the elevator. like seriously, miss pinky, SLOW DOWN.

of course she had to be bigger than me and of course i had to be caught in a daze and was pretty much dazed for the next few seconds.

and THIS is what i get for holding the lift door open for her. pah!

no serious injuries sustained though i was quite bemused. still am really. its just how she was so hurried. i mean i understand no one wants to be late for classes and all that but wow she takes this whole punctuality thing wayyyyyy too seriously.

so yes here's some elevator ethics.

if you WANT to take the elevator and you see it closing, please start walking faster or show some OVERT interest in taking the lift. i lost count how many times i've seen people stroll in from the ATM only to take quicker steps nearer to the elevator door when it is CLOSING. no one's psychic you know. let us know if you want to take the next one instead la.

if you want to go the other levels besides 4, please say so, or press it yourself. and if you see me pressing 3, and you wanna go elsewhere, please press for your own level as well or ask me to do so. don't make it seem as though i tricked you into getting off at level 3 by not pressing level 4 cuz i really have no time to play elevator pranks on people nowadays.

if you're smelly don't stand near me. okay so maybe this is more personal but i really do have a mutant nose that is highly- sensitive or at least more sensitive than normal human olfactories.

when i think of more i'd let you know but for now i think basic courtesy plus these basic elevator ethics can keep us all sane to the end of the sem. i hope. or else everyone just take the stairs la since we can't reach any basic human compromise.

now about toilets. ahh. my pet love.

okay this is just a personal discourse, so if toilet talk is not your cup of tea, stop reading now.

PERSIST AT YOUR OWN RISK.

okay la i am not going to be describing my shit today in case you thought it was going to be that bad. instead, i am going to be divulging in my toilet habits. cuz today, someone told me,

fiza, why is it after you enter the cubicle there's a pretty long period of silence before there's any water sound?

(please do not be disturbed by such observations by my compatriots. abnormality is a norm around here.)

so i am here to explain why.

whenever i go to public toilets, i rarely take the squatting one, unless it is damn urgent and i need to have a go desperately. and i would think if i was that desperate i'd just pee in the sink but that's beside the point.

so.

why do i not take the squatting one? simple. cuz i feel very vulnerable to be squatting, with my panties around my ankles, butt in the air (or at least EXPOSED to the air), and back facing the door. its just one of those teeny phobias of WHAT IF the door opens? what if today of all days someone decides to attack you in the toilet?

with your back facing the door, the squatting position puts you in the very vulnerable position of;

1. not being able to react immediately in the face of an attack

and,

2. not being able to turn around immediately without flashing said attacker your Australia.

so guided by these fears, i loathe to set foot into a squatting cubicle. so instead i choose to enter the sitting one. regular, run- of- the- mill toilet bowls. this means i have to wet tissues before i enter but its worth the effort cuz YOU NEVER KNOW when someone might barge in and attack you in the toilet.

but using a sitting toilet bowl is not without its issues. as my friend observed, there is a long period of silence before there is aural evidence of me doing what i should be doing.

now if i were a guy, there'll be no prizes for guessing what those moments of silent meant. however, the 5- finger tango is not plausible here. NOR am i standing in awe of the toilet bowl, stunned by its reverence (you get used to it after awhile). so what am i doing?

3 Steps To Happy Toiletdom

1. when i enter a cubicle, first thing i do is close the door, make sure its closed properly, then hang up my bag/ sweater/ whatever.

2. next, i check the toilet seat. if its dirty, i will put it up. if its seemingly clean, i will first have a go at it with toilet paper, wiping it down, getting rid of whatever dead skin cells the previous user might have left behind.

3. THEN before i sit down, i take out a long piece of toilet paper and cover the toilet seat area where i will be sitting on with it. this imaginary buffer between me and unimaginable amount of germs on the toilet seat only gives me a false sense of security cuz fact is its still germy but at least if the door were to open suddenly in the face of an attack, i can swiftly pull up my panties from around my ankles and be on guard, and that reassurance matters to me.

i know i know. i am wasting alot of toilet paper. i have always wanted to buy toilet seat covers but i can never remember to do so. maybe someone can get it for me as a gift. maybe a sanitizer too. but all this might just extend my toilet time exponentially, and poor suresh would have to wait hours for his girlfriend to do a job men takes only seconds to do. but there is hope yet. cuz...

i have a dream today.

i have a dream that one day this phobia will rise up and be removed from my entire being, and i will be FREE from the evil clutches of sitting toilet bowls and their multitude of germs. i have a dream that one day i will take no more than 2 minutes to prep my toilet seat for a 10 second pee.

let freedom ring!

and when this happens, when i allow freedom to ring, i believe, i will no longer be contributing to the depleting rainforest as i am now.

i have a dream.

okay. enough talk, time to nap.

p.s.: i hope this hasn't deterred anyone from making full use of free public toilets. they are God- sent. do not neglect or underuse them. and please don't employ my methodology, or else the queues in toilets are gonna be endless and you might really see fiza pee in the sink. nuh- uh. not cool.

i know i should be doing my term paper and i'm kiiiiiiiiiinda working on it but this was too hilarious to NOT be shared.

and no, i do not advocate football hooliganism or any other form of violence during or post- matches. but i must admit, this tickled the dang nipples.

Anfield admits excrement thrown at Utd fans

Liverpool have apologised to Manchester United for the behaviour of their fans during last month's highly-charged FA Cup tie at Anfield.

The club and Merseyside Police have carried out an investigation after a number of incidents where United fans at the Anfield Road end were attacked by home supporters.

There was one incident of human excrement being thrown towards United supporters as well as coins and food being aimed in their direction.

HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA. that is like me throwing shit at SURESH! now if that's not funny i don't know what is.

okay that's all back to paper. thank you for reading!

Monday, March 20, 2006

did research for my national identity paper and i figured i better get down to it while i'm still inspired.

on a sidenote, on the way home from tuition i almost teared up cuz is saw a family of 3 walking home. the parents fetched their daughter from her SINDA tuition and as they were walking home they were happily pushing each other around, laughing, having lots of fun. you know. the very epitome of happy family.

and then i felt even MORE sad cuz what kind of a DICK (oh the sweet irony) am i that i get all sappy and shit over a family walking home!?!?! i'm a sap man. a downright sap. shame on me.

so besides my inconsequential sappiness, its the same ol' monday. classes till 6 then tuition till 9. this time round' i've got 10 days left to type out THREE doggone term papers so stories, if any, will be withheld till further notice.

socially inactive

i wish i could say my blogless state over the weekend was cuz i was so wrapped up in term papers and research.

needless to say, the moment i said (typed?) that i had no social events lined up, i got screwed. that's how it works in the world of jamban. you lament on the lack of shit, then you GET shit.

but it wasn't all bad. i mean i went out on saturday to accompany the boy to get his phone fixed. BTW motorola customer service suck balls so i hope i never have to see them. after the phone- fixing session we walked down to far east for my lunch.

the sweltering weather made us took a detour.

coconut by orchard road.

cooled and contented.

the trudge continued and we had a delightful time avoiding surveyors, credit card salesmen, flyer distributors... at one point a young girl about 15 stopped and shrieked in the middle of MY path and hugged these 2 cheenabengs and i said, "AIYOHHHHHHHH!"

and she quickly moved aside. very good. if there's no way basic courtesy can be employed through basic understanding, i'd gladly do a very cavemanesque expression of my discontent each time i'm disgruntled.

after he left at 6 my mum came along with the dad for dinner at thai express. since i was still full from my late lunch and coffee and pretzels (cue to say i love you, boipren), i just walked around PS for a bit. saw nice books at times but.must.resist.temptation. must.not.buy.any.more.books.

gah.

so you would think after a wednesday in town, thursday in town, and saturday in town... a good chillout sunday at home is due.

my darlin' ex had better plans.

he dragged me out to town for coffee, and i agreed only when he promised to bear the expenses.

apek: wah lao. go out with you must bribe you one.
fiza: of course ah. you think what my company very cheap is it.

i should start charging, like escort services.

and since he was feeling LAZY we sat there at starbucks from 5.30 allllllll the way to 8. -_- he is trying to make me a minah by imposing his mat ways on me but NO! i shall not be deterred! i have found my true calling and i am a YINDIAN YOU UNDERSTAND?!?! a YINDIAN!

anyway.

i think this picture sums up how we've changed over the years very nicely. he looks more mat and i look more... well not less malay but not very anything either. i always knew i was quite the enigma. *smirk*

and with THAT coffee date, it brings the coffee tally to 3 cups over 2 days.

no wonder i was high.

on good notes; liverpool raking in the goals and chelsea lost to fulham.

that's how you know its gonna be a good week.

have a goooooooooooood monday y'all!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

EVERYBODY READING THIS NOW!

i am doing a term paper on Singapore's National Identity so there's a little survey i'd like you all to do for me if you have 5 minutes to spare. Thank you!

CLICK ME!

Friday, March 17, 2006

that's some good soccer y'all

first and foremost, i absolutely HAVE to declare my pride and admiration for the USP soccer team which played against Law fac just now. you guys put up a brilliant fight, and we should have been the deserving winners. who cares about the fluke penalty, the late goal and their appeals. they want to humiliate us, they wanted a 5- 0, and what they got was a 2- 2, with us leading twice. they played dirty, they kicked our keeper, but we played damn good soccer, and its too bad they can't take it.

i present to you man of the match (according to the team hor, not me)

you conceded that penalty but we all know it was ball- to- hand. you defended brilliantly for the whole 90 minutes and i am so so proud of you.

needless to say i lost my voice after screaming the hell out of my tonsils when we scored the second goal. with 5 minutes to go we were set on winning. i did my mr. bean dance which drew an angry stare from one law fellow. NYEH.

law fellow: shaun, don't take on the tall guy.
brandon: haha did you hear that?
fiza: yes yes! don't take on the tall guy! haha! don't take on the TALL guy! he is my BOYFRIEND! nehny nehny poo poo!

yes, people OFF the field were scared of my galah panjang (beanpole) also. hurhur.

my theory is the referee just decided to give the penalty (to both USP and Law's surprise) cuz he scared if Law lose they will just find ANY proxy ruling to use against him. he scared he kena sued his ass off FAS.

anyway.

had dinner at macs. i'm still heady from that brilliant soccer match. its history in the making, for i doubt USP has ever scored or draw before. yeahhhhh.

come on lah people. we rock the balls and bombs.

i am bursting with pride la. it was some fantastic soccer, and the maplek was in the midst of it all... it was just brilliant. kudos to the hero of the entire USP; harpreet, captain and keeper and fellow actor/ time- waster. its an honour man. absolute honour. wayne, saravanan, ken, john, soon kit, amin, other indian dudes i don't know the name of, thank you for making me a very happy girl.

and now i shall return to my darling second boyfriend, adrian mole (see prev post). he may be 13 3/4 but boy he's got me, hook, line, SUCKERED.

will work on 3 term papers over weekend and catch up on some readings. no social events lined up... phew!

oh and i wore my liverpool jersey today! must have brought good luck.

suresh: she just sat there la, and look at him. everyone talking she just lean on him and look at him adoringly.
fiza: wow she is like so in love with him la.
suresh! ya! he's like knighted in her eyes.
fiza: wah lao. no wonder he's with her la. ego- trip can, so much adoration. i also want girlfriend like that.

*silence*

fiza: hmm.
suresh: hmm.
fiza: i'm sure i can justify that... umm... validate that somehow.
suresh: its okay, i'll do you a favour and forget it k? you do the same.
fiza: nono i'm sure i was in the right frame of mind when i said that (overconfident i know)!
suresh: uhuh.
fiza: no la i mean if i'm a guy i also want girlfriend like that, so adoring of me, like ego trip like mad what.
suresh: ha. nice try.

sigh. such misplaced masculinity. story of my life.

but don't matter, cuz hellooooooooooooooooooo saturday!

i've been waiting for you man. oh free weekends how i've missed you.

go ahead y'all.

be monkeys.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

go shorty, it's your birthday

had school, 2 hours of a mindblowingly boring movie titled chariots of fire. prior to that had lunch at clementi hawker centre, went for eye test at forum, then did readings at chatterbox.

post- movie we mucked about school for a bit before making our way to town for hadi and lut's grand birthday surpliiiiiiiise.

well surprise for di, since today is his birthday, but also co- celebrating lut's birthday which was two days ago.

birthday boys.

i thought these pictures were damn cute la. lut (in white) turns 20 and di turns 21, but they still look damn happy and excited as hell to see candles. weeeeooow.

this is one of the organisers, hizuan, also known as the pariah of the century.

hizuan: can i have some of your coke?
fiza: ah take la.
suresh: where's our coke?
fiza: oh he take.
hizuan: eh your one ah? sorry ah bruder.
fiza: hah! no sorry! come on suresh! take out your parang! be an indian!

anyway because i read an excerpt of adrian mole yesterday during tuition, i of course desperately needed the rest of the book to know the rest of the story.

so post- pastamania we made our way down to borders and WHADDYAKNOWWWWWWW?

borders was having 20% off for all book purchases, if you show your student/ teacher ID.

THAT IS SOME COOL SHIT.

the way to a girl's heart.

so of course i was extremely contented and pleased as a punch with the acquisition of 2 new books but suresh made me promise that i won't read it tonight for i have an essay due tomorrow and i must must finish it tonight or he will ban me from reading for a week i think.

but i am still excited laaaaaaaaaaa. lalalala. TWO new books! and btw, 20% discount offer ends today. SORRY!

borders rock my balls and bombs. lalalala.

still can't decide what to write for my essay. but never mind, 500 word minimum. caaaaaaan one. chiong chiong chiong.

i am extremely motivated now. if i finish my work i can READ! that is some da- bomb motivation.

and of course. more good news.

those with a red heart may rejoice, for they have seen God.

and the God has finally scored at the Kop. rejoice rejoice. guess who else scored? no not just morientes, not just crouch, but WARNOCK! warnock! the guy who won't even be able to play defense in S- League, SCORED!

AND as an emphatic note to our brilliant stroke of good luck, we even got an own goal. kudos especially to kewell who played exceptionally well, finnan, hamman and garcia, who seemed refreshingly creative in front of the box, finally.

that's how you know its gonna be a good day.

and tomorrow is friday! last day of the week! soooooooooooo...

be monkeys.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

munich, lava and indians

finally got to catch munich and i must admit, the brilliance of spielberg shone through. when he hid in the closet, when he tore his hotel room apart, when he clutched his baby tight as a conspicuous black car drove by... i could almost taste avner's paranoia. and that is a good thing.

but.

there's always a but(t) when it comes to me cuz i'm malay. hurhur. there's a racist joke there! find it! hahahaha.

anyway.

BUT.

i felt spielberg being spielberg, could not run away from commercial interests and though i believe the portrayal of how difficult it was to execute the assasinations were necessary to help us understand the psychological damage, i thought he dramatised far beyond necessity. but like i said, he's spielberg. the feel i got from the film was he couldn't decide on whether he wants to be political, upright and righteous or just straight- out hollywood. and the end result was basically an unbalanced mishmash of both.

but still a great film, more so for history/ military/ terrorist geeks. a group of giggling girls (below 18? tsk tsk cineleisure...) left a quarter into the movie. either the gore was too much or the storyline was lost on them.

post- movie was TCC for dory fingers, potato wedges and CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE.

cue orgasmic noises.

i could possibly chop this boy's hands off for taking MORE THAN HALF of the cake. yes i can share my lava cake, but ONLY three bites MAX. he took more than that, that vicious maplek.

anyway if any of you read TODAY newspaper today, you would read that an indian official has been asked to leave the commonwealth games in melbourne, cuz he sexually harrassed a teenage girl. the headline was something like, "sex scandal blablabla indian."

hahaha. i mean yes its clearly a cheap way to get attention but kudos to TODAY for the most blatant showcase of prejudice la.

fiza: hahahahaha read this. so typical.
suresh: *reads* oi.
fiza: ya la. you indians ah. tsk tsk.
suresh: !!!!!!!

hahaha. ha.

fiza: he likes you la. cuz he's indian.
suresh: hahaha that's quite a conclusion you have.
fiza: yes. i realized indians like all indians, and they like people who like indians. that's why the indian boys like me. cuz they see me as one of 'their kind'.
suresh: okay, so the malays like you cuz you're malay, the indians like you cuz you like one of their kind, then chinese?
fiza: umm... chinese like me cuz i am not very malay?
suresh: hahaha okay then ang mohs?
fiza: haha! ang mohs like me because i am malay and i got big nehneh!

so there you go. i got all my bases covered. and oh damn, now the secret is out.

fiza: you know when i first knew firr i was very reluctant to meet him cuz i was scared that if i do meet him and he looks too indian i won't like him anymore.
suresh: uhuh.
fiza: ya. i was silly la. cuz in some pics he look very malay, in some he look very indian. so i wasn't sure if i'd still like him if i met him.
suresh: then?
fiza: ya la then we met la. then of course it didn't matter anymore la. but point is i was wary of him cuz i thought he might look indian. *looks pointedly at suresh*
suresh: uh huh...
fiza: yes. so this, *emphatically places arm on his thigh* is what i call retribution. this, is god's idea of a joke.
suresh: *smothers laughter*
fiza: yesyes and its not very funny.

i want to name my son muthusamy kariapan cuz its got such a nice indian znnnng to it. don't you think so? hmm.

post- movie was tuition then home. another madman in the train, who approached 3 student nurses, was ignored, then approached me.

madman: tinggal mane? (stay where?)
fiza: uhmm hmm ha no.
madman: ??

*fiza takes out phone to call suresh*

fiza: another madman. beside me. asking me where i stay.
suresh: okay... get up?
fiza: don't want. got no other empty seats.
suresh: ermm okay.
fiza: aaaaaaaaargh.
suresh: what what? what he do?
fiza: he's uhhh leaning against me.
suresh: okay fiza get up now and move.
fiza: okay okay 3 nurses got up liao.

so i sat in the seat across me and whaddya know, the mad guy starts talking to the girl on his right. i was on his left.

there must be a reason for this sudden proliferation of MAD PEOPLE. why people why?!!?!

security must be laxed over at hougang. hmm.

Monday, March 13, 2006

time and again

like a broken record, life plays its lessons on repeat; happiness is fleeting, happiness is fleeting, happiness is fleeting...

but we never listen.

a deja vu of a deja vu of that deja vu. you know you've been here before, felt this before, but somehow, it still hurts the same. maybe more. old battle wounds do not make new scars gentler to the touch.

you live, you learn. you get cut, you get hurt, you get wounded, you burn, but never is it enough to put you down flat so that you can't come back up again.

and when you do come back again you in only minutes it can all just crumble again. but you don't stop cuz trying is the only thing you know how to do. trying again and again is the only route you know to happiness.

i live my life with no regrets. with so much pain sometimes, but still no regret. losses and sadness and tears of rejection, but still no regrets.

never would i change where i am now for anything else, no matter how much it hurts.

and i know tonight we all wish i was a little more coherent, but tonight, i just wish to be me and not who you all want me to be.

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head

Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize

Don't patronize me

"Thierry Henry pounced on a dreadful mistake by Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard to secure a vital 2-1 win for Arsenal at Highbury."

salt to wound would be alonso being sent off.

at times like this i wish i was one of those girls who needed a hot pink book from borders to educate her on soccer.

at least that way these tears would be for something more tangible than an english socce team.

really, my passions and feminine wiles are somewhat misplaced. i hate crying when liverpool lose cuz it kinda undermines everything 'masculine' i believe about myself. but ignore me and MY transgender issues, monday has arrived.

night all.

well, liverpool lost to the arses by 2- 1. second goal was gifted to thierry, sadly, by our own skipper gerrard.

at times like this i wish i was one of those girls who needed a hot pink book from borders to educate her on soccer.

at least that way these tears would be for something more tangible than an english soccer team.

really, my passions and feminine wiles are somewhat misplaced. i hate crying when liverpool lose cuz it kinda undermines everything 'masculine' i believe about myself. but ignore me and MY transgender issues, monday has arrived.

night all.

long story

//start soccer rant

if i could rattle the head of Crouch right now i would. just what is this skinny Englishboy doing? we got you here to get some goals from headers, but clearly you have no idea what to do with your lanky frame. the best goals you have scored have been on foot and half the time your headers go wide, even when you're unchallenged. your lack of skills is increasingly blatant and i hope you, along with morientes and cisse would be sold by end of this season to make way for much better goalscorers.

and really rafael benitez, what is UP with your formation tonight? have you gone bollocks mad putting crouch alone up front? he can't score a goal even if its just him and the posts. put fowler on please, someone with something to prove, and surely he will score the very goals we need. and while we're at it, please stick to 4- 4- 2. call me boring but when you got something good you don't go along and change it and risk heart attacks across the world for liverpudlians.

//end soccer rant

well getting feisty i am, but it is showdown sunday. and garcia and alonso have just missed two goals in the space of 5 minutes. watching liverpool play is enough to make me the youngest victim of a cardiac arrest.

of course this angst is also due to man u's win just earlier. it sucks balls i tell you, when teams you hate and loathe so are winning when their midfield or defense is in the shakes. but whatever. bitter angst will not bring me anywhere, much less to the top of the league table. so moving on.

okay gerrard just missed an opportunity. i am STARK raving MAD. AND excuse me, this monkey of a player, toure just flew in for the ball and now he's rolling on the ground in pain. if he doesn't limp off and get subbed, this just means arsenal have succeeded in another glorious strategy of time- wasting.

i should stop ranting about soccer.

so, how was the REST of my sunday?

well as you all would know by now i got back at 4 a.m. yesterday after a gloriously long day out with the boy. after the weird boy with the transgender crisis, my day went on pretty smoothly.

met the boy at yio chu kang and drove down to bugis, only to find out ambrosia wasn't fully open and there wasn't much for him to eat at samar. so swensens' bugis it was, spaghetti aglio olio for him, and giant cheeseburger for me that i've craved for weeks.

of course, swensens' also means coit tower ice- cream, where i obtained that little american flag and stuck it in my hair, to the boy's disgust. "traitor!", sayeth the greatest fan of all american teen shows; one tree hill, O.C, smallville, etc.

after that was a nice drive- around, dropping by caldecott hill area to look at the houses in the estate. it was almost frustrating to see such large acres of land and such opulent luxury. one house was so elaborately decorated; it had gigantic white pillars for their porch, spiral staircases from the ground floor, a front door the size of my secondary school gate, and reckless amount of space and glass. annoying.

okay half- time right now. liverpool still 1- 0 down. to quote the commentator, "same old story for liverpool, creating opportunities but just not taking it."

i tell you liverpool need to adopt the mourinho method of ass- fucking players who miss their goals during half- time. that's why you see chelsea so hellbent on scoring. its hypothetical still, but increasingly i find myself believing in this theory of mine. mourinho is FULLY capable of it. he's probably humping abramovich too.

anyway post- driveabout was soccer, watched two EPL matches then it was changiiiiiiiii for nasi lemakkkk. unfortunately post- burger i was stuffed so only he had nasi lemak. anyway changi village looked dismal. so many stalls were closed. had a good time just chatting.

he got me back by 3 but we sat around the playground for a bit just talking and being with each other. just like that. very nice, very simple.

then once i was home i plopped into bed and today i woke up to attend the ULTIMATE event of the school holidays' in any malay society's calendar, WEDDINGS. wedding was few blocks away and it was nice to see the relatives again.

then it was home and a change of clothes, and off for dinner at komala's novena with the boy. paper dhosai, yum! also got idly for my mum and his. irony would be both the maplek and me do not like idly. hoo well. to each his own.

had a good talk about interracial marriages among people in power i.e. indian politicians, malay footballers, etc. i mentioned double standards, how people think its acceptable for a 'man in power' to marry out of his race, but if one of normal standing tries to, chances are your family/ community would say, "why? what's wrong with girls/ guys your own race?"

and its really frustrating for me sometimes when people ask me, "why you like indian guys?"

i DON'T! if you think i like suresh BECAUSE he is indian, boy, you must have missed out on ALL my racist jokes.

i've dated malays, chinese, indians and caucasians and no, i wasn't (just) trying to hit the quota, but more cuz to me race is not the be all ends all of a person.

i like the maplek cuz he is whatever he is, and if there is a malay or chinese or whatever who is as weird as him, as patient as him, as whatever as him, maybe i'd like him too. who knows? point is, i'm not with suresh BECAUSE he is indian. for the record he's not very indian at all, for an indian. the most indian thing about him is probably the hair thing and the name. and sometimes the style of speech. hoo hoo. seditious!

so yes, just because i am dating ONE indian doesn't mean i shall only date indians from now on. i do not have racial preferences cuz race is a social construct, and i am a deconstructionist. hurhur.

aiya i just think this whole race thing is damn iffy la. and i can't be bothered to go into it in detail right now cuz why?

liverpool second half start liao. i tell you if they lose to arsenal i am going to be ranting for a looooong, long, long time to come. so you all better pray hard.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

don't be an american idiot

was supposed to meet the boy at yio chu kang station but of course a normal wait for the train shall not suffice. instead, i was put through this.

*fiza sits down*
boy sitting beside fiza: uhhh excuse me...
fiza: er yes?
boy: *mumbles* can you help me?
fiza: sorry?
boy: can you help me?
fiza: umm with what?
boy: nono say can you help me first.
fiza: with what?
boy: i want to be a girl.
fiza: huh.
boy: i *points to self* want *points down* to *points down* be *points down* a girl.
fiza: okay.
boy: can you help me?
fiza: umm no i cannot help you, you have to go to a doctor for that.
boy: nono you don't have to help me. (like what the fuck, i know)
fiza: okay.
boy: i want to be a girl NOW.
fiza: uhuh.
boy: do you have any girls' underwear or clothes to give me now?
fiza: what???
boy: do you have any girls' underwear or clothes for me?
fiza: no!
boy: why?

(i had a thousand answers but none that could actually aptly summarise the incredulity i felt; like what do you mean why?!?!!? of course not la! do i look like i carry spare underwear?!?! do you expect me to strip now and give you my clothes?!?! of course the most important issue here is why the hell is he asking random girls for clothes and telling them his desires to be a girl but moving right along)

*fiza takes out phone to complain to suresh*
*boy leaves*
*fiza hangs up*
*boy returns*

boy: so how? can? (maybe he thought i was calling my girls' clothes and underwear supplier for him ah)
fiza: no.
boy: why?
fiza: no!
boy: i want to be a girl. so can i have some underwear and clothes?
fiza: no.
boy: why? (i know i should have left or done something but 1. i was too lazy to walk in heels, 2. if i complain to control station i might miss my train)
fiza: you want you go and buy la. (okay yes so i'm totally not helping here but never mind)
boy: where?
fiza: at the shop!
boy: how much?
fiza: how i know!?!!

at this point the train miraculously arrives and i boarded it, leaving him there, waiting for his next victim. i hope someone complained about him. i'm sorry for not being civic- conscious enough but he wasn't worth it. perverted and sick, yes,but harmless. he still had baby teeth for pete's sake. barely 13, i'd say. he's 14 at very most. so yes, weird fella.

as i told suresh, it was the weirdest proposition i've received so far.

had a brilliant day but more on that later. now i'm off to bed. i'm spent. :) nights!

Friday, March 10, 2006

delirium

the wonderful thing about my full- blown exhaustion is it does not cause cranky pettiness, but rather, incessant laughter.

and to further enhance the laughing experience, why not play some silly hangman in the train? with phrases like 'so clever', 'smelly indian' (him), 'awesomeness' (me), 'mitochondria', 'yun nam haircare' and the best one, 'the way you move it, i can't believe it, i've never seen an ass like that.'

hoo yeah. top that up with random drawings of people like jordan, freaky boy from school, and airpork (pigs with wings).

so that pretty much sums up the other parts of the night from fong seng all the way to my station. the boy goes through alot.

day started at 10 a.m. with a tutorial on fungal evolution, 4 hours toiling over my sexuality paper, 2 hours of sports lecture, then 3 hours straight of dancing from 6- 9 p.m. as you can imagine, my exhaustion was warranted.

that makes it the 4th day this week that i 'end' at 9. tuesday i came back pretty early and even managed to nap. monday and wednesday was tuition, and thursday was relief tuition. then today. so yes, all in all, a purely exhausting week.

BUT! but but but.

the boy has promised a brilliant day out tomorrow. yes finally, a proper date. a proper going- out thingy that doesn't involve sneakily bringing readings to do while sipping coffee. small handbag, heels and the works. he's got the car and he's free the whole day. so we've planned lunch, dinner and supper. :D:D:D:D

as you can tell i am very excited, cuz on thursday he got me a pretty blue handbag and i'm carrying it tomorrow! lalalalala.

i was also emotionally exhausted, by the euphoria of chelsea's loss and the grief of liverpool's departure from the champion's league. but at the rate of benfica's dirty playing, i won't think they'd go far. barca all the way. and ahem, why was a certain liverpool player given a yellow card for simulation when benfica is the team that plays half the game rolling on grass? hmm hmm? cuz the referee is ITALIAN!

laugh la why never laugh. funny okay. you don't get it your fault. who ask you never study history and watch soccer?

gimme some love y'all. i am very tired and i'm still blogging.

my back aches. dance practice for 3 hours is no joke. but its quite fun, cuz suresh is my dance partner and as usual we're general idiots. reminds me of rag... :)

to date i've got these assignments due by end of this month; 1 soci response paper, one singapore studies response paper, 1 sports history term paper, 1 3101 term paper, 1 singapore studies term paper, 1 evolution term paper and 1 3101 response paper. in that order. if that is not madness, i don't know what is.

but there is method in my madness, and i shall survive. mwahahahahaha.

cuz i am the awesomeness and no one shall believe otherwise. one day this world would be mine! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! AAAAAAAALL MINE!

cuz i am a fungus; a cordyceps sinensis, and i shall produce my spore within the centre of the world and then propagate into a small mycelium before growing exponentially into 3 times the size of earth by eating it from inside. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

i am feeling very evil and very evolution- ish. its two very muddling things to be feeling at the same time.

aaaaaaaaaaand now i got a stomachache, and this one i can't blog out of my system. hurhur. i think there was a lame joke there somewhere. if you missed it don't worry, suresh will point it out for you.

can't wait for tomorrow. hope you all have a good saturday and that well- deserved break!

time to flush the shit out of my system. hurhur. geddit geddit?

:D

Thursday, March 09, 2006

shoulda woulda coulda

....and all i wanted to say was how you made me melt when you called me sayang in that english- lilted way of yours.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

peeved

i don't like selfish people.

i don't like people who pretend to be something they're not to make themselves feel better about themselves.

i don't like people to patronize me with their politeness and apparent consideration.

hit me with the truth, at all times, cuz trust me i can handle it.

piss me off; then pay the price.

you know what makes me very very sad?

when i found out recently that Katie Price a.k.a. Jordan has written two books and has her name listed in Wikipedia (yea that's new Hall of 'Fame').

all because she has big, big, big boobies. bigger than turkish bread. but still boobies.

even nicole richie wrote a book. have you seen her lately? she looks like the skeleton from my secondary school science lab; except with (overtanned, orange) skin and very expensive clothes thrown over. don't forget giant shades.

every other dumb B- list celebrity or Hollywood freak show has written a book.

where is the justice in that?

where, pray tell me, is the justice in this?

how come he gets to write an autobiography and I don't? how come he gets to write a book and i don't? why?

i'll tell you why.

i lack collagen.

just you wait. just you wait, world. with the first million i save, i shall get these puckers so stuffed, you can't see my nostrils.

THEN, i would get my book.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

two is a company, but three is more merry!

well excuse the grammar, but i wanted something catchy.

prior to sofra, was of course, school. sexuality tutorial with hafiz and evolution lecture with suresh. i've inadvertently become every man's dream wife by declaring 'tearoom trade' as acceptable as toe fetish. why do i even acept toe fetish? i don't know.

my words exactly; "some people get a kick from sucking toes, so maybe some people just like the idea of going to a toilet and picking some dude to suck his cock and then go back home and be all, Hey wifey!"

for the record, my main qualm with a bisexual love partner would be how his propensity to cheat on me is now doubled since he 'eats' both types of fish. and how he might like it anal.

youch.

so sofra it was after school. drove down to shaw building and went up 10 storeys of the carpark before finding a spot. TEN! ten! TEN storeys! and it gave me quite the headache.

ordered our food, ate, and yakked. i'm glad two of my favouritest men in the world get along. :)

someone poked me!

they forced me to smile. i refused.

savouring good food.

*shakes head*

stuffed and contented.

i'm feeling nice and happy and tralalala so maybe i can get cracking on my paper soon. and here's a shot of sunset from my place, cuz i'm feeling random.

till then, don't suck any toes!

p.s: voting for NUS Blogfest 06' has been reset due to loopholes which led to cheating and blahblahblah, point is, if you've voted before, do me a favour and vote again? the prize is $40 and lots of other random techy- majicky thing i care little for, so i can sell it off for more $. :D so that increases your chances of getting your very own personal prata!

but still kosong okay.

things

i'm glad crash won best picture. as impactful as brokeback is, crash was still the better story told.
i need to pee.
but i'm holding it.
i've spent the past hour counting and re- counting and re- counting my potential C.A.P. on the C.A.P. calculator. trust me if you were in my position, you'd do the same. i wonder if i can use the nomination as one of NUS Funniest (known) Blog to appeal when the need arises. hmm.
i still need to pee.
my eyelids are droopy and i ought to sleep before catching the game at 4. but somehow i'm too lazy to even sleep. its such an elaborate process! wash face, brush teeth, take out contacts, set alarm, fluff up pillow, off the lights... and by the time all that is done, the adrenaline from all that activity makes me more alert than sleepy.
i need to read newspapers.
i should do my 3101 response paper.
should prepare outlines for THREE term papers due the SAME bloody day. yes that's 6000 words for you non- maths majors.
on a bright note tomorrow's 3101 tutorial is cancelled so class starts at 12 and ends at 4.
and on a BRIGHTER BRIGHTER note, will be going to sofra with hafiz and suresh. yay!
so that's great food and great company. i'll make sure i bring the camera.
this is not a very effective point- form blog entry.
BUT its my blog so you not happy then go read other blogs of bloggers wHo TyPe lyK DeEz and continuosly gush over how hot their boyfriends are.
i know i also gush about how hot my boyfriend is but HE IS so hah.
well okay fine at least i don't TypE lyK DiZ hOoOoOkaYzzzz...
that was mildly fun but for the most part, tiring.
see what i mean? i'm not sleepy. again. all this typing.
i've been in an erratic mood all day. wanted to pick fights with my sexuality lecturer and was annoyed by half the tutorial class for Singapore Studies module. but i was pretty much happy for the most of the day cuz the forum was having a travel fair and i got to pick up about a bajillion pamphlets and leaflets and brochures on india, europe, indonesia, thailand, australia and more. if i could, i'd take up suresh's suggestion of taking a year of school and just travel. something tells me i'd learn more that way.
oh also happy cuz i got back the first response paper for one of my modules and i did pretty okay. strive on.
i really should get going. if i don't pee soon i might get gall bladder. you know? gall stones? in your kidney? bladder? i dunno. but they have to laser it and shit and peeing will be painful till then. if i have stones. in my bladder. i mean yea.
okay SLEEP.

nights!

Monday, March 06, 2006

very tired feet. going to watch soccer later. prepare 3 term papers.

stress.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

i already wrote an earlier piece on the death of noinoi on my LJ, so go there if you want read it.

death, no matter how violent, no matter how swift, no matter how gentle or quick, hurts.

death hurts not the dead, but the living.

death hurts the rest of the world who can only stand and watch as the body of a toddler is found naked and decomposed.

death hurts the rest of the world who has to deal with the reality that her very own stepfather, is the prime suspect.

death hurts the rest of the world as the guilt lies on our conscience; could we have stopped this? is this the work of mankind? is this humane?

how dark and perverse can the heart of mankind be? what has the apparent progress and civilization done to us?

i do not think the ability to build metropolises actually counterbalances the reality that we are still primal; we still seek to kill. we still succumb to that moment or two, and fulfill our darkest fantasies.

connelly said, "people are the worst animals... they will do anything to each other."

and i can't help but agree, especially with this recent turn of events. look at the news. local news. man shot to death, execution- style. huang na, raped and strangled to death. even in death she wasn't given dignity, and was disposed in a styrofoam box.

given the two great wars, we are in no place to deny that Man is fully capable of violence.

but we claim to have progressed. we believe we are now above all that. the war was terrible, the war was mindless... is the death of young kids any less mindless?

is the death of kids by those closest to them any less terrible?

i don't even know where i'm headed with all these questions. i just know now that there are still people out there who seek to kill, who act out of primitive desires, who are entirely removed from their cognitive abilities of rationale.

and that scares me. what is so 21st century about all this mess?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

why barbie is bad for your (mental) health

today, friends, singaporeans, and countrymen and women (cannot discriminate!), i shall show you why, Barbie dolls are not good for your mental health. oh yes, they might not affect your physical state (unless you eat them, in which case, its a miracle you can read this so wah- hey), but slowly (and yes, SURELY), they will permeate your very being, and make you do very silly things.

now let's just do a brief introduction of Barbie. she is 1/ 6th of the apparent 'ideal' female figure, 5"9 (1.75m) and her vital stats read: 36- 18- 33. two interesting facts:

1. barbie has never hit puberty. why? cuz "according to research by the University Central Hospital in Helsinki, Finland, she would lack the requisite 17 to 22 percent of body fat required to menstruate."

2. Barbie's defenders say that "her exaggerated proportions are necessary for her to look natural when wearing clothing."

quite funny, exaggerate her proportions to look natural. hmmm.

of course, Barbie has often been problematized. gender stereotype, unhealthy body image for young girls, bla bla bla. but never before, ladies and gents, never before, have i seen barbie having an effect as mentally jarring as this.

that, is a real picture. real people. that, is the wedding photo of Katie Price a.k.a Jordan and Peter Andre.

remember Peter Andre? when i was in secondary school he had this hit song, "woo ooo oo, mysterious girl, i wanna get close to you... wooo ooo oo, mysterious girl, put your body close to mine..." hmm. i'm a bit traumatised by the fact that i remembered the lyrics from memory. but let's just pretend i googled it ya.

and as for Jordan, she's... well... she's a serial Playboy covergirl. i SERIOUSLY mean serial, cuz she even made it to Wikipedia. go search. she is also known between me, hafiz and suresh as the chick with two fizas' head on her chest. oh and umm. she wrote a book. on Being Jordan. must be tough.

okay no. i just found out she has written TWO books. GAH. this is depressing! okay moving on.

so, what has this wedding got ANYTHING to do with Barbie?

do you not see the uncanny resemblance?

this is what happens, when you let barbie rule your life. you decide to have a... HORROR OF HORRORS! a BARBIE wedding.

and for sure, it was all pink. and fluffy. and scary.

scary cake.

it looks like its about to grow arms and grab them both into eternal pink- whipped- cream- and- spun- sugar damnation. and no, its not as nice as it sounds.

her gown has such a HUGE skirt, i think she can hide Pulau Tekong underneath it. proof?

if that's not an island right there, i don't know what is.

but what frightens me most, is this imminent and unmitigated pictorial evidence of the damaging extent of her mental trauma caused by barbie.

how, could anyone at all in this world, subject a full symphonic orchestra to SUCH a wadrobe? what in blue heavens, are they wearing? what was she thinking (i'm being slightly biased here cuz for all you know Andre desired such a setting but since he's not the one with the giant pink tiara and 20 blonde + brunette wigs on ONE head, i'd be discriminative for this moment)? what is that pink, fluffy, raccoon- tailed thing on their heads?

on second thought, don't tell me. let sleeping dogs, or in this case, sleeping pink raccoons, lie.

if ever i needed evidence on how pink and blondes (usually not mutually exclusive) are bad for you, this is it. if ever anyone needed convincing that barbie is no longer a contained, short- term phase of your childhood, this is it.

do not let this happen to you. do NOT, i repeat, do NOT, make your wedding band/ orchestra wear pink raccoons on their heads, dead or alive.

and please make sure the tiara is not bigger than your chest, especially if you have barbie's vital stats. falling over backward from the weight of all that fake diamante and metal contraption on your head while walking down the aisle?

not cool.

Friday, March 03, 2006

don't you love surprises?

woke up today and the swollen gums were still as swollen as ever, so i made an appointment with the same dentist. this time round, he was at bishan, so i made my way there.

appointment was at 1 but i got to see him only at 1.30 p.m. the nurse already briefed me that my consultation might take a while so they would prepare for it in a bit. OMINOUS! and remember the dentist said i have to see him in two weeks time for my swollen gums cuz it might be due to something more serious? HE WAS RIGHT! that evil man could have fixed my tooth on tuesday but he made me suffer till today. gah.

so joy of joys, my gums have been infected by the cavity. so technically the filling he did was a little like putting plaster over a bullet wound, without taking the bullet out. *gives one standing ovation* BRAVO!

"we could extract it or do a root canal operation. but i doubt you'll want it extracted right? okay, so we do a root canal operation."

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! an IMPROMPTU ROOT CANAL OPERATION! YAY!

other people got operation will know weeks in advance, i knew it like 5 minutes in advance. pui.

he could probably tell i was about to pee in my pretty panties, so he started some small talk... oh do you need MC? (yes.) are you working nearby? (no.) oh? student? where? (NUS.) oh okay. what faculty? oh arts need MC ah? i thought arts damn slack.

-_________________________- JUST FIX MY BLOODY TOOTH LA.

yeap. so first he injected the anesthesia into the gums. now, i dunno bout' the rest of you but *I* for one, DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE STICKING NEEDLES INTO MY GUMS. gums lei. inject arm, backside, thighs, anywhere also can, but GUMS!??! the thought of it makes me cringe but there i was, helpless in a dentist chair, with a maniacal (ok no) dentist grinning ear to ear, wielding a giant syringe. and BTW it WAS a giant syringe okay. the normal plastic syringe they use is affixed into this metal contraption and hence the whole thing just looks like a giant... plyer.

SO. he injects it into the back of my gums. and i'm like, "oh okay, that's not too bad. a little painful but hey, i'm cool." then the inner gums. still cool. AND THEN. he injects. the bloody thing. into. the. infected. gum. area.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

sorry i was mentally back in the dentist chair.

the pain was so acute i shut my eyes immediately SO FAST and a tear just SQUIRTED out. to my bemusement.

dentist: oh sorry sorry slowly k relax, pain a bit ah... tahan ah...

crazy. i wonder how he'd feel if i cuffed him into his chair and start injecting his gums.

but well the anesthesia served a purpose. afterall, what happened next must have made me flood the dental clinic if not for the numbed gums.

so basically the dude has to undo his filling (unfortunately cannot CTRL- Z) and then get rid of the pus causing the swell. and apparently this required FILING. and by filing i don't mean that pretty little things you girls use for manicures, but small, sharp needles, poked in and out endlessly, scraping against the surface of your tooth.

owwwwww owwwww owwwwww. bad mental place. okay anyway.

so he did all that drilling into my tooth, removed the pus, scraped my root canals and covered it all up with gutta- percha. much prettier than amalgam filling by the way, its actually camouflaged by the natural colour of your tooth. just a lil' dental info for everyone. yeap.

so here's infected tooth. see the brown balls at the root of the tooth? yeap. that's the gunk you wanna be rid off.

and this is how its done. drill a hole into the tooth, stuck a file/ nail/ sharp metal object into it, and scrape scrape scrape merrily to tinseltown.

then cover it all up with gutta- percha.

now aren't i informative?

i still went to school despite the MC cuz i needed to borrow library books for my research (remember?). had lunch with sara at geckos, and i managed to down half of the cheese fries i ordered before the numbness wore off and WHOA MOMMA! the pain set in.

when it was numb, the entire right side of my face felt like it was sagging down and i was so self- conscious eating cheese fries cuz the rightside of my lower lip was numbed and i felt i was dribbling cheese all over. its weird. i suddenly emphatise with stroke victims so much more, and what i went through was hardly comparable. ack.

anyway when the numbness wore off i was pretty much delirious from the pain, and that lead to much laughter between tears, then pure tears, and some hyperventilating. even took 4 painkillers in the span of 3 hours cuz i just couldn't bear the pain. and suresh got me ice and that helped a little too.

and after that i got to borrow my books, cuz i'd hate it if my trip to school was wasted. lots of books too. i'm contented.

took a cab back and according to suresh i was out cold. the cabbie jam- braked, honked and did many other traffic vices but i slept through it all. magnifique, non?

unfortunately i can't really eat cuz it hurts like crazy for one, and secondly my right jaw hurts too much so i can't open it fully- this impedes chewing. so sadly for me, meat is not a dietary option, not for a long time to come. :(

and of all times to crave for a giant swensen's cheeseburger.

sigh.

have a good weekend, all.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

let there be love

i am mighty pleased with myself. but first, let me get something out of the way. YES my gums are still swollen and its actually swelling up even more and NO dizzie, i don't think its a CYST and NO suresh, i will not go for an operation and NO mum, i am NOT reassured by a, "oh never mind la, you just go to the dentist he will cut it and throw away." its my gums, dearest mother, not hair. -_-

okay so back to being pleased with myself. why am i so pleased with myself? cuz i am achieving things! very small, minor, probably insignificant things, but... THINGS! wah heyyyyyy!

went for my group meeting and we cleared some issues with regards to the term paper. now we're well on our way! tomorrow i plan to go to the library if i can, and BORROW books for the research. and shut up if you do it every sem, i don't so sod off. or rejoice with me, will ya?

next as i have mentioned previously, multivitamins makes me ravenous and boy did i eat today! and boy am i pleased. morning was raisin loaf, lunch was a trip to cheers where i bought a chicken and cheese hotdog bun and timeout chocettes, then had a custard puff and chocolate eclair at YIH canteen. JOYYYYYYYYY TO THE WORLD!

look what i found,
on my way to town.
(it rhymes, i know. i'm a poet and i know it! hurhur.)

then then then was townnnnnn with the boy. and i am very excited cuz somehow lately i feel very town- deprived. maybe cuz i've been fatigued and sickly so as usual, i look to town as a sign of liberation, and also the mecca of youths. lalala. its just town i know.

so we couldn't watch the movies we wanted to watch cuz cineleisure have anal fugs who check birthday months for R(21) films.

HELLO.

between now and september, do you think transamerica or brokeback mountain will possibly have a mindblowingly different effect on me? is my life going to alter dramatically when the clock strikes 12 on the midnight of 5th september? and don't get me started on movie ratings in the first place. how could a 16 year old girl have sex, and an 18 year old boy wield a gun, yet both, NOT be able to watch boobies and buns and violence? hmm hmm hmm? that's just whacked. or maybe i'm bitter.

but back to being pleased with myself. SO. we skipped movie and walked about town, checking out clothes at topshop (where i almost choked myself with a skinny scarf and nearly tore my top apart when a hanger got stuck on it) then books at borders. where out of boredom, i decided to take pictures! of books! and me, of course. *preens*

remember the pink book i slammed few days back? the hot pink book that was supposed to tell girls all they needed to know about soccer?

here's another pink book begging to be slammed.

Fat Girl's Guide to Life.

it is of course, pink, and perusing another oft- heard female issue, physical beauty. cull it already. fat people are not an entirely different category of women who need specific guidelines to living life. i acknowledge fatness, thinness, whateverness, but i do not acknowledge one as superior to the other that, or either as an ideal. as long as you're HEALTHY (no eating disorders or diseases linked to obesity or malnourishment) and HAPPY, i say sock that guy in the balls for commenting on your size.

i find this a very interesting book, and would buy it first thing once i have the cash to spare.

The Doomsday Book.

it basically speculates on the different ways the world might end. so far i can only remember a mention of a third world war, and something to do with an apocalyptical frankensteinish nanotechnology. very interesting stuff, cuz there's sections like, "how likely is to happen?" "has it happened before?" and "Likeliness Factor, Fear Factor" etc. fun! in a warped way.

i clearly do not recommend this chick lit but i just thought the title begged to be made fun of.

How Was It for You? hmm.

another pretty good book, unfortunately i do not recall the blurb. read too many la.

okay, i've done my bit for borders. now, to wait for that privelege card, or at least 10% of shareholdings. hmm hmm.

after borders we dropped by marks & spencers and that love of a boy got me chocolate digestives (cuz its kinda hard for me to eat really crunchy things right now, aye) and dark chocolate for me to nibble on. :))

made our way down to scotts pastamania where i had my second al- funghi spaghetti and he had his second aglio olio for the week. we are getting old, old, old. we're not experimental anymore! we play safe and only eat umm, safe food! but oh well. when you got something good you don't go ruining it do you?

we also went a little phreaked in pastamania.

there's more of course, but i'll save it for the rainy days. you never know when a picture of you two looking retarded might help save the relationship. hurhur.

okay now to do some self- promoting. sorry la, i wasn't planning to, skali they say right, top prizes got $ka- ching- ching$ and mp3 players okayyyyy! who dowan?!??! okay sorry sorry back to my point.

my point is, if you read that tag by miss mandy zhang, this blog is a finalist (do not ask me how it happened) in the NUS Blogfest 2006, under the Funniest Blog category. so okay, if you think i'm funny (you better think i funny hor, think what so free everyday spend half hour blogging?!?!?), ahem. okay, so if you think i am funny la, do trouble yourself to register here, then VOTE here. okay? you can vote once a day so if you want to vote for me everyday also can. if i win any cash, i will blanja you all to one prata kosong. oh wait. is that bribery? aiya dunno la.

so if 50 of you vote, each of you will get 1/50th or 0.02 part of prata kosong, while i eat prata cheese. mwahahahaha.

shit. now i want prata cheese.

oh more proof that we are boh liao people.

after dinner we were walking along tangs breadtalk when i saw an indian couple fighting. the girl was gestulating pretty animatedly, and the guy just had this... "wtf..." face. then suddenly the girl walked off! WAH! DRAMAAAAAA! then of course the guy go after her right. then suresh asked if i wanted to look at this bag i like at borders that i failed to check on when we were there earlier. we looked at each other... and he said,

"you want to follow the guy right?"

hahaha. so we DID!!!!!! we followed him (the guy) then he followed her (his girlfriend) then the indian girl spoil abit la she go and turn to see whether he follow or not. though i can understand her concern cuz if she walk off damn far skali the guy never follow waste energy only right? then they ended up at the bus stop in front of tangs. so me and suresh anchored ourselves nearby so as to have first class seats to the drama that unfolded. then they were both standing, arguing, and i think the guy got tired and he sat on the kerb. HAHA! that is damn funny can. such a, "okay woman, talk all you want, my ass needs a break" move. then she talk some more, gesturing even more violently, then skali she SQUATTED down to his level! hahahahaha. then she put her arms on his shoulders. and i told suresh,

"she looks like she's telling him that his dog died."

and what ensued shall remain undisclosed but let's just say we ad- libbed whatever (we thought) they were saying, placed in a 'my- dog- died' context. then the DRAMA continues!

they seemed to arrived to a 'whatever la okay, go home' point of the argument, and the GUY left the bus stop! then the girl apparently waited for her bus. but he didn't go too far, just behind a pillar so that she is still within his field of vision. like i told suresh, "confirm not over one. like that how can sleep? go home also cannot sleep. a good fight is when it ends properly, then go home can sleep."

then me and the maplek went down the underpass, in the direction of the train station. "eh, but i not happy la. i want to know the ending. wait i cannot sleep."

so we went back up. and then at the same time, the girl walked away! from the bus stop! WAHHHHHH! like high- speed police chase can! so exciting! then we wait for the guy to follow then we follow him. then we he lost her! PANIC! then i think she call him then they go one super secluded corner and fight. we cannot follow la cuz then they see us wait blow our cover mah.

so we walked back to the train station. walking past the bus stop where she was standing, i told suresh, "skali she down here! then she see us she say, "AH- HAH! i knew it!"" suresh: "hahaha ya. then the guy also come from the back and say "AH- HAH!"" "hahaha ya! skali its all a scam! to catch us!" umm then we kinda moved on from that storyline cuz catch us for what right?

ok so moral of the story is we are damn boh liao okay? its not that we like to watch couples fight, but this one was too tamil- drama- ish to be missed.

well anyway i ought to finish my response paper now. i shall leave you now with snapshots of the day.

so sweet and loving, i know.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

swells

i have a bump on my right jaw due to the swollen gums. now i look like i have permanently lodged a gumball into my right jaw. i have manly jaws! :(

tuition was fine today, just gave them worksheets to do, and the last 15 minutes, sanjeevan decided to share with us a ghost story. right on.

the multivitamins i'm taking have increased my appetite exponentially and now i am hungry. again. i've had 1 sardine puff, 1 instant noodles, 1 mango pudding, 1 tuna- cheese bar, 1 chocolate donut.

and currently i am waiting for porridge to boil. and joy of joys, there's soccer tonight!

my poor feet are aching and are now warmly ensconced in my nice, cushy topshop bedroom slippers in the shape of cars. whee!

speaking of which i have recently encountered a spate of girls who have this damn WTF!?!? ideas of love/ relationship/ inter alia.

and it is very annoying, and somehow it further aggravates my toothache.

okay, maybe not. but point is, i can't stand girls who whine about their general state of being. "i'm single!" "i'm fat!" "i'm too skinny!" "if i tie my hair this way i look like i'm balding!" trust me, i seriously heard this one and all i wanted to do was GOUGE HER EYEBALLS OUT.

got nothing else to whine about is it? for said 'balding' girl, she was eating at KFC can. EAT YOUR CHICKEN AND SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR HAIR LA!

my main grouse with whining is because i find it unproductive. if you think you're fat, go exercise. but in the first place i think there' nothing wrong with being skinny or fat or whatever. there is no one size fits all for all women of the world what. and being single is not a valid 'whining' reason. i think single people are as happy as attached people, if not happier.

and i find it fascinating (i wanted to use annoying, but then i will sound whiny and cranky also, right?) that girls can sit for hours, chatting over coffee, discussing men, love, relationships, hotter women (negatively), rinse, cycle, repeat.

and its even MORE fascinating (read: disturbing) the euphimisms they come up with in these coffee chats!

Situation 1

girl A: should i leave him? i think he is not interested in me anymore. maybe i should let go before he does.
girl B: don't! then he'll be the one who 'got away'. then you will forever live with the 'what ifs'.

firstly, i think if you're in such a situation, you should be discussing it with the GUY, not some girl who doesn't know head or tail about the relationship. and is it a competition of sorts, to see who let go first? oh you let go first! you win! win what? -_-

secondly, what is the one who 'got away'? he didn't got away if he LEFT. he WENT away! if you leave him before he leave you, he is the one you LEFT. and the only what if you should be thinking is "what if i had talked to him about these issues in our relationship instead of girl B?"

and trust me la, once a new hottie comes along, you won't think of the one who 'got away', much less 'what if'. girls give themselves too much credit, thinking their all so soft and sentimental. i tell you when push comes to shove, girls are nastier than men. given fact. so stop holding your head in your hands, crying, cuz you know you're checking out that dude between your fingers.

Situation 2

girl A: eversince he slept with me, he has stopped calling. sometimes he calls and we meet up, have great sex, then he'll disappear again.
girl B: sigh. sometimes men take you for granted just because you're always there.

no ladies, ~~sometimes~~ most of the time, a pussy is just a pussy to them, and you gotta stop giving yourself so much credit. you think you got tits big shit meh? tits and pussy anywhere also can find. and really, if he has sex with you each time he meets you (rare to begin with), you're really nothing more than a booty call. he's not mysterious and has emotional baggage from a previous relationship et cetera. HE JUST NEEDS A FREE... umm... fuck. for lack of better words. he needs a free sexual intercourse kinda took the sting out of it.

i could possibly come up with more situations but HEYYYYYY look at the time! its time for soccer.

i know, i know. between my love for all things round (soccer, fishballs, boobs) and my extremely harsh and pragmatic take on love and whiny girls, i'm probably growing a penis somewhere without realizing it.

i'd let you know.