being obscure clearly.

Monday, January 30, 2006

guess who's back?

i leave the cyberworld for a few days and i get HUNDREDS of (junk) email, and only TWO, TWO!, two, measly tags. harumph.

i'd like to feed you guys that cliche crap of how i took a few days sabbatical to do some soul- searching and discover the true me but in reality, the home pc was too wonky for my patience and i refused to lose my temper in the face of adversity so what do you do? NO, don't solve the adversity, just stay away from it.

so that i did till i decided to try my luck tonight and walla! patience, indeed, is a virtue. and i'm not very virtuous.

anyway actually i am online to book tickets to chiang mai. tigerairways having an offer. $8.99 or summat, excluding taxes and all the heebeejeebees. book by 31st january (yes that's tomorrow god bless this pc) and fly between 1st jul- 30th sept. go grab it kids.

well since i am feeling indulgent might as well share what i've been up to over the days i went MIA.

thursday. hmm. OH i went to school! yeahhh. on a non- school day. to mug. with the maplek. who had a soccer game after that. yeah. then he went to celebrate his mum's birthday and i met mine for dinner.

friday was school as usual. just one particular snippet of school that i remember. i think all of you know how hairy my boyfriend is- he has to shave every 3 days. that's quite a feat. and he has to have frequent hair (on the head) cuts.

suresh: wah my nails very long already.
fiza: ya! longer than mine!
suresh: hmm but i just cut it last week.
fiza: aiya you indians everything also grow very fast.

need i point out the glaring allusion?

is this also a good time to point out how i read that the speed of growth for men's facial hair is related to how often he thinks about sex?

also, i think, a good time to point out i've yet to meet an un- hairy indian.

well moving right along to saturday then. watched le grande voyage with my mum and i must admit, i truly enjoyed the movie. saddening as it was. i cried buckets okay. with all due respect to the movie, i saw a grown, married man cry as well. moving piece of work that was.

sunday and today was pretty much readings galore. i am proud to announce that i have NO backlog and in fact, am AHEAD of some of my readings! AHEAD! FIZA! is AHEAD! with! her! readings!

STOP THE PRESSES!

this from a girl who has never touched her coursepack until 3 weeks before exams prior to this sem okay. so gimme some lurvvvvve y'all.

**speaking of love me and the maplek saw an ad for roses at the school bus- stop. veeday madness i tell you.

fiza: 99 stalks for $125?!?!?!
suresh: wahlao who will buy.
fiza: yaaa! what the hell do you do with 99 roses? just 1 rotten rose stinks up the whole room imagine 99!
suresh: haha ya.
fiza: if i were gay i'd stick the 99 stalks up my ass.
suresh: -__________-

ahem ok so yeah anyway over that period of geekiness i also managed to spend some nice, cozy quality time with my fowler's concised english dictionary. yes, all 1528 dusty pages of it. and yes, i happen to enjoy reading dictionaries. sod off.

another nice, cozy moment came on sunday. :) since his mum is in UK visiting his sis, he got the car and first on the itinerary was changi for nasi lemak. :)) nothing beats sitting by the beach, in a dark, unlit corner (the streetlight blew out), eating food you can't see but taste damn good anyway. and mymy changi beach was TENTS and malays (who were mostly fishing) galore! i told him how this pretty much looks like what i think temasek must have looked like. hurhur.

after that very cheap but yummy dinner we drove down to the airport's backside and watched aeroplanes take- off. so cliche, i love it.

well so what else do i have to tell you guys? oh yes, pictures. i've got some but since lappie (YES MY GORGEOUS WHITE CONTRAPTION!) is returning wednesday i thought i'd just save it all for its homecoming post.

well in the spirit of the overwhelming geekism that has taken over me, i shall continue with my readings. i might or might not blog tomorrow, but watch out for homecoming post come wednesday. not like there's much to watch out for but whatever. i'd try to post a picture of suresh's nasal hair.
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.
.
.
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haha i knew that would get your attention. okay la no nasal hair okay? i promise i'll be good. well about as good as fiza can possibly be. which in my opinion, is not very.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

to the point

met the maplek today; attempted to watch history movie (gladiator), failed, enjoyed talking more, went DFS to get his mum's birthday gift then marche for dinner. poor boy had a headache so it was a short sit and chat at borders after that befor heading home.
its a very cold night.
i still have four, possibly FIVE ulcers in all the uncoolest places.
price of ice cream cones at Macs have gone up by 200%. its now 50 cents. nyeh.
there's a man u vs. blackburn game tonight, which i might watch in hope that it will be a draw or loss, which will give me some sort of sick revenge for monday's score.
when i wear a low- cut top, i have a natural tendency to look at my own boobs. does anyone else suffer from such? i also notice when OTHER girls wear low- cut tops i have a tendency to look at their boobs. hrmm. e.g. ruz at lim's birthday party. i was trying to look at the strudel.. but somehow... oh well.
i derive sick pleasure from seeing mats glaring angrily at the maplek holding my hand, and from indian girls staring in puzzlement, at him as well. they never stare at me one. cuz its rude to stare at a lady and they think i'm a lady. HAR HAR. fools.
i am going to school tomorrow to STUDY. and i will definitely definitely clear my readings or else suffer the wrath of mugging during weekend. hah!
as you might read from the tagboard, ANOTHER malay girl has declared her desire for an INDIAN boyfriend. ONCE AGAIN i am ahead of my times. fiza and the maplek has spawned a new trend. indians are the next big thing. indians are the new black (hurhur). indians are THE arm accessory for this year's Grammys. so what are you waiting for? go get one!
it might or might not work vice versa. hafiz, you can go try get an indian girlfriend but i won't guarantee it'll start a trend. i think indian men are more glam than indian girls. so you know what that means?

get a gay indian boyfriend. :D

i should do this more often. concise content, faster blogging. i am the rocking bomb of the bombs la. and hafizzzz, traffic- stopping things cannot show horrr. wait kena summoned by the gahmen.

hello hello

first up, everyone shut up about man u okay. i cried for one solid hour after the match ended and was pretty much sad and depressive for whole of monday. which explains the blogless and msnless- ness.

the last time i cried at a soccer match was during the champs league final, started in first half, cried happy ones in second half. then pure pure relief after penalty shoot- out. that was last year. then prior to that was when i was still in secondary school and man u won the treble. it was final match day whereby if man u lose their match and liverpool win's theirs, man u won't win the cup. but after liverpool won, news came in from the other stadium that man u had won. wah. first time i cried watching soccer, that.

so yes. even the ambeley texted me at the end of the match, "err okay that was pure luck la, it really did look like it was gonna be 0-0."

i agree but i didn't reply cuz he is still at the end of the day, a red devil. HEY at least i was civil to him the next day okay. i talked to him. and looked at him. see?

PLUS i sat beside NYDIA in class and was civil to her, and met FIRR the apunehneh for dinner, and was more than civil to him as well. see? i can live with man u fans. as long as they're not wearing man u jerseys or actively proliferating my surroundings.

*chinese guy walks past*
hafiz: oh oh.
fiza: bloody hell you stupid chinese person wearing a BLOODY man u jersey! man u win big shit is it?
hafiz: wah lao.

:D sorry hafiz! oh hafiz is very good. hafiz doesn't really watch soccer so he will always be my switzerland.

so monday was school then dinner with apunehneh.

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one and only.

then today was breakfast and tutorial prep with hafiz. cute swedish boy in my class. yay! *does a little jig* although his bandanna- around- hair thing is a bit too rambo for my liking.

but hey a cute blonde is a cute blonde is a cute blonde so there.

after that was evolution where they ended up arguing over Linnean and numeric system, which me and suresh had ZERO opinions on the matter, but ended up in opposing teams anyway. so now i have a debate in my hands. why oh why.

after that was burger king raffles where we took a video of me flipping forks. and guess what else i can do with plastic forks?

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hoo yeah. no one balances cutleries quite like i do. *winkwink*

ermm yea okay. so besides monday blues (in every sense of the word), lately i've been sickish. not anything official or stuff, but just like general heatiness at night, extremely tired by 6, such. and i got 4 ulcers. due to this 'body heat'. not very fun.

and can they PLEASE stop selling second- hand books at the forum already! its my most vulnerable spot okay. how dare NUS take advantage of me like that.

another irritating thing is this raggaeton song imran and hafiz lim made me listen to on our coffee date and which hafiz also plays in his car ocassionally. and i only know one line cuz the trst is incoherent. so it is quite normal for you to see a dencently- dressed, healthy- looking fiza walking around NUS singing,

LALALALALALALA GASOLIIIIIIIIIIIINA!

over. and over. and over. and OVER. again.

but its better than hafiz going, "ello ello ello ello V- E." 20 times in a minute. WTF.

that's not a song dude. insist what you want i'm telling you its NOT.

anyway after class today in the USP block some USC members were selling stuff. chinese new year sale or summat.

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the ambeley bought a 30 cents pen, and took a picture with the esteemed salesman.

just another day as a scholar.

bright note, its midweek and NO school till friday. blessed i am.

p.s: maya i might or might not come to school on thursday depending on my rajinometer. i might though, to do readings. i'll take your number and let you know okay.

okay la this sickly thing is so... bleagh. i got readings to cover, will meet the boy tomorrow and attack readings again. in the war against words, we're always on the losing one. woe betide me.

see?
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this is fiza 'doing' readings.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

if you get there before i do

i'll kick your ass for not waiting. hurhur.

its been quite a day. attempted and failed to finish sexuality readings. left place at 5 to meet the maplek at 6 for bus to east coast got there at 7 to hear that weather conditions has caused them to decide to shift the whole barbeque plans over to gail's place wayyyyy back at holland v.

we'd be DAMNED if we were to travel to freakin' holland v after that ass- busting, hour- long bus ride.

and then it rained which ruled out going to tampines for hana's dinner (sorry!). so after 2 shelter stops, we finally reached the food centre (where Macs is, not the hawker). after i passed on komala's (wasn't quite fancying ambeley* food), we discovered a cosy warm italian eaterie. well to say "discover" is really giving ourselves too much credit, cuz its smack beside the huge- ass (and out of place) water fountain and had a big big banner saying PIZZA!!!

now WHO wouldn't respond, react and walk zombie- like towards such a calling?

so instead of barbequed fare (or potato salad in his case) or thai- chinese cuisine, we ended up with a huge margherita (that's cheese and tomato sauce for you) pizza and 6 pieces of bruschettas for the price of 3. the waitress liked us!

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when the moon hits your eye like THIS huge pizza pie... its amore.

we were stuffed to maximum capacity okayyy. we struggled through 4 bruschettas and argued over who should finish the last two pieces. -_-

oh and the pizza, that huge, round piece of tomatoey, cheesey heaven, costed us...

$10!

GASP SHOCK ~~HORROR~~ WAAAAAH.

strolled by the beach. looks like the only times we've been to east coast is when its post- rain. heh. but its somehow nice still. and there were stars! :))

so once again, we were duly impressed by our masterful abilities of having a good saturday away from town and against all odds (two foiled plans, 1 terrible weather).

we are the terrer merrers.

one thing we observed on our stroll was how the different races 'do' barbeques. the indians came out in big, strong groups, and all of them, be it the eating people or the ones preparing food, are standing up. their large numbers spurred such ethnic patriotism the maplek announced, "eh got indian cult! i should join them. be back in ten." -_-

the chinese were generally happy people who clapped alot. and laugh alot. and play alot of K/ J/ M- pop.

then we saw a bbq pit shadowed by a big tree. there were probably more than ten people but since everyone was seated, it looked alot less.

fiza: wahhh malays.
suresh: how you know?
fiza: dark seedy spot, all rilek one corner and sit down, many black helmets and trucker caps.
suresh: hahaha.

and this is where i explain the meaning of ambeley!

fiza: you know when i was a kid i was quite racist. if got indians in the lift right, i don't want to go in.
suresh: uhhhh.
fiza: ya really! then when my indian neighbour talked to my mum at the door right i will scold her, "eh what's this? why you talking to ambeleys?"
suresh: i throw you in the sea then you know.
fiza: haha really! then once we all went to eat at this restaurant at serangoon and i was damn angry. so i refused to eat anything. then i asked for coke and my mum allowed it seeing how i was so upset. then skali the drink came in that traditional metal cups! wahhh then i didn't want to touch anything there.
suresh: eh really i throw you into the sea can.

hurhurhur. so maybe this is retribution la ah that i now love an ambeley. i am also reconsidering my affectionate name for the maplek. i mean ambeley seems more apt, and it would be some mild form of redemption for my previous existence as a young little nazi.

and goodness i didn't explain what ambeley means! blimey this indian thing rubs off on you hahahaha.

okok anyway ambeley (pronounced um- ber- lair) is tamil for male/ young boy. see so apt right. i should seriously consider starting a tamil- english- malay translation website. sure to be dabomb.

hahaha i shall blog at 3 a.m. on coffee highs more oftenly cuz i am so funny at this hour! so full of entrepeneurial ideas! now if only i can spell that word in one attempt.

oh racist joke! haha. inspired by kumar okayyy.

you know why the chinese are so powerful in singapore? cuz the malays only got mendaki. indians only have sinda. the chinese? they have PAP!

hurhur okay i am going to have to migrate cuz of that. dangerous ah drink coffee.

i see rambles coming right up so before i forget...

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do these truffles look yummy to you? do they make your tastebuds twitch in excitement? does it make drool seep out from your saliva glands? more importantly, do you, like the rest of the sane, generally rational and very healthy human population, love chocolates?

well if you DO then today is YOUR lucky day! yes! YOU! cuz in just TWO easy- as- hell steps, these truffles could be yours! yes! YOURS FOR THE TAKING! TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO IT**!

** well preferably eat it, but i did say generally rational. i do not discriminate against other alternative treatments of truffles.

well easy now. i shall hereby share with you the ease of which you can attain ownership of these delightful concontions, these sweet, sinful confectioneries;

Step 1: visit The Baker's Website
Step 2: jot down her email/ number and ORDER dammit!

ok now go do that.

i should seriously consider a career in marketing. i can talk a person to bollocks madness and he/ she might buy my product just to shut me up. but due my hypnotic powers he/ she will be unable to resist me the next time i try. and with each attempt i will need less and less effort to convince, till it comes to a point where my customers are calling me up every 10 minutes craving for my product and this stirs suspicion within the local press and i therefore have to migrate to a country where the people might be easier to hypnotise. wah can make alot of money.

goodness. i am high. and hence easily amused. i should stay away from coffee.

CAUTION: nescafe mistra, exotic (this i believe, is the key to the unprecendented perkiness) banana caramel flavour, not safe for consumption for those below 16.

crikey there's 130Kcal of energy in this thing! how the hell did that boy fall asleep?!?!

well since i am so awake right now i might as well do some readings (but NOT write term papers cuz god knows the junk i can produce in this state). by this state i am referring to the state whereby my body system acknowledges the presence of 20.9g of sugar in my blood, but little activity is reported from the brains HQ.

okayyy ummmm brain cell activity has reached a critical low. i shall depart now, my dear readers. goodnight, good morning (its 4.51 a.m. -_-) and goodbye.

and my last word of advice;

love thy neighbour.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

the groped and the grappling

rows and rows of neatly assigned seats
don't choose them, they'll choose you.
always craving for such order
only to reject it when it comes near.
knowing you could have it better
but realizing you don't know how to get there.
wishing for an entirely different life,
a different plan,
a different you.

when you sit and think to yourself
"you could have it so much better,"
it makes you wonder...
could you?

always on the outside looking in
outside the looking glass
"have you ever been inside?"
always wishing to be there
elsewhere
gazing into the other
always wondering
what could have been
always thinking
"you could have it so much better."

they always say careful what you wish for. if i had something different i won't have what i have now, and that will be a nightmare beyond imagination. maybe this isn't the best of lives, the most exciting of adventures, or the most successful underdog story. but maybe if you keep trying to be the best in everything, you fail to become the best of you.

i don't have much but what i do have, i have alot. alot of friends, alot of family, alot of smiles, alot of laughs, alot of love.

i make do with waking up knowing i am not the most self- righteous person but possibly the weirdest. we make up for what we lack. some days it'll be good to beat yourself up over what you never tried hard enough to get, but on most days its good to pat yourself on your back for achieving so much within so little means.

life as i see it is not a wheel, not just ups and downs. most of the time we're neither here nor there. not on the pinnacles of euphoria nor in the pits of unearthly sorrow. sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, but most of the time you're just rollin' with it. plans and directions are all good but sometimes life brings somewhere you never knew, or never thought you'd like if you went. then you find yourself not wanting to leave.

life isn't always a sunday or a monday. usually its a tuesday, wednesday, thurs, friday or saturday. some days you have great, fun plans, other days you lay in bed and read.

in general, i like life. not just living and breathing, but everything that comes with it. i like the lessons in deaths, the sadness in breakups, the joy in winning, the humiliation in losing, the triumph of being right, the humbling moment of being wrong.

but most of all i like life like this. being 20 and knowing there will be more and not knowing what that is.

being 20 and knowing that i can look back years from now, and smile.

pretty big bubbles in the air

today i woke up at 7 got to school at 9 finished last chapter for today's lecture at 9.20 printed out tutorial slides at 9.36 photocopied ss notes from nydia at 9.40 and entered class at 9.55.

I AM A SUPERBLY BRILLIANT STUDENT!

okay then i had lunch with the maplek, gave text to mr. stranger in front of central library, printed and photocopied alot alot of things, then yakked with the maplek for a bit before his lecture. i stayed on at coffee club and did my readings till 4. NO naps. BOO YA. IAMDABOMBLA.

had sports lecture at 4. i cannot believe my luck this sem AT ALL cuz NONE of my modules are boring. can you believe it. in NUS. ARTS. USP. no boring modules out of all FIVE. this is one heckuva lucky streak.

and i plan to hang on to it.

after lecture was speedy bus + train ride to marina square for our mooooooovie!

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football hooligans.

there were not- so- rave reviews on this due to the perceived irrelevance of hooliganism at present (football hooliganism died out along with tatcherism), but hooliganism WAS, for a very long time, a large aspect of the English soccer culture and if one enters the theatre without preconcieved notions of what to expect (and being singaporeans and not english this SHOULD be the case), you'd come out of it pretty impressed by the eloquent display of a very foreign yet familiar culture.

but of course it spurred on endless puns on Sinchi FC fans battling it out with Home Utd fans. like Sengkang vs. Bishan or something. hoo hoo.

oh and for non- soccer fans, look out for your favourite hobbit who turns charmingly violent. but still remains innocently naive. its almost sweet. and boy oh boy is the GSE major hot.

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more incentive: he is shirtless in a scene, donning nothing but a westham united tattoo, a red towel and OOH, six- packs. sluuurp. lazat yarrr. lazat berkrim disukai ramia ramai ramai dan ramai sekali.

then it was dinner at where ELSE but pastamania. i'm not complaining, nosirree i am not. haha. but tell me you guys didn't GUESS that the minute you saw the word DINNER. haha.

last night was short and sweet. met the cousin and his friend at JB for a bit. had dinner and short yak session at danga bay before calling it a night at umm, midnight. felt so happy to see him yet it was almost depressing to have to say goodbye again. such short snippets of happiness are worse than a coccaine addiction. its almost an ironic result; the simplest and truest form of happiness ends and the emptiness is wretchedly hollow you become depressed.

but its okay. i will survive. i will be fine. haha.

its been a funky week to say the least. but the week's far from over. the weekends to pull through then its back to same old, same old.

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day & night.

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err... (pious haji) by day... and umm... a little job on the side at night?

against all odds, it still has been

an enchanted life.

Friday, January 20, 2006

the defeatist theory

How the hell did we wind up like this

Why weren't we able

To see the signs that we missed

And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists

And unpack your suitcase

Lately there's been too much of this

Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong

just as long as

you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

gonna make it allright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

gonna make it allright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway

We could end up saying

Things we've always needed to say

So we could end up stringing

Now the story's played out like this

Just like a paperback novel

Lets rewrite an ending that fits

Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong

just as long as

you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow

gonna make it allright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday, somehow

gonna make it allright but not right now

I know you're wondering when

(You're the only one who knows that)

Someday; Nickleback

so someday. somehow.

its been quite a day. thank god its friday, but blimey the weekend and the endless plans. i want to get away.

far far away.

i need a break already, and january's hardly over.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

i am the dalai lama, the smiling buddha and the girl every mother fears

i have been tagged so i shall do it first cuz nydia is my favourite cheena munjen. GASP seditious! ok anyway.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life

the all- too- typical, McDonalds. i got harassed by a bangla and left the place. i've never looked back since. hah.
waitressing at Olio Dome. food food food!
guest relations/ patrol officer at Singapore Zoological Gardens. damn fun okay. though i was scared of the horse; Town, the chicks i had to take care of, the iguana that got free, and the snake that bit my friend.
salesgirl at pushcart. quite interesting la. i had to talk to strangers. which is a wow, if you know what kind of person i am.

Four movies you could watch over and over

Pretty Woman!
Runaway Bride
Autumn in New York
Any of the bujang lapok series. p. ramlee is da bomb.

Four places you’ve lived

West Coast- 8th floor, near the wet market and rocking good hawker centre. stayed there since i started remembering, till i was 9 or 10 i think.
Teban Gardens- 5th floor, near the mosque where i had religious classes and woke up at dawn to go to my secondary school. -_- moved out 2 years after dad passed on. most of memories with dad were in this house.
Chua Chu Kang- 4th floor, near MRT. near pjc also. near my boyfriend (s) and miscellaneous people. haha. moved out in 2005.
Admiralty/ Woodlands Ring Road. current abode. nothing much to say, except the takraw court where the cute guys play is the one across the road and the one in front of my block is where the old foggies play. dammit.

Four TV shows you love(d) to watch

C.S.I. all the versions, favourite being the original.
Law & Order SVU.
Felicity
Ally McBeal

Four places you’ve been on vacation

Tioman the gorgoeus-est thing in the world.
err KL/ PD. my cousin's place can. hahaha. low- budget holiday.
Chiang Mai
Bangkok

(yes i know very few countries but i don't come from a well- to- do family and i have no qualms about it. i am envious of people who has been to all the different continents of the world, but i know i'll get my chance. :)

Four websites you visit daily

Four of your favourite foods (can i just say, FOUR!!?!?!?! ONLY!!?!?)

chocolates chocolates chocolates.
black pepper steak/ fish/ beef/ chicken etc.
tom yam.
peanut butter with ice- cream. is that even valid? who cares.

Four places you would rather be

Germany during World Cup season
Liverpool- Beatles and Kop.
the park. everyday. :)
well not rather, cuz i got there all the time; but yeah. his arms. :))

Four tagged

hana!
aida?
nadiah?
farah!

ok i dunno a farah but i just felt like saying that cuz then it all RHYMES! mein gott mein gott.

moving right along.

so what did i do today? i met the maplek, attempted readings, failed, talk nonsense, met the apek for dinner at al- ameen, had teh + kopi at westmall, then home.

i mustmustmust start on my paper. and clear some readings. why are they so boring? not all things academic has to be boring right. my evo text is darn interesting okayyy. bill bryson; a short history on nearly everything. and its CHEAP! like coursepack ok! $14. and its a paperback, so reading it isn't a chore. sigh.

ok shut up fiza and stop complaining.

i want to be football manager. so anyone got non- league soccer teams can come register with me okay? hahaha. i liaise with different teams to help you all get games. then slowly, we shall progress and there will a Fiza Confederation League! best right! best best. so okay ya if you want let me know. more teams the better, then can set up more games mah right. eh and i'm not kidding ah. well maybe about the confed league but not the rest. cuz i realize you boys suck at organizing.

tonight got man u- burton game. it will be damn funny if man u is held to a draw again. cuz even though of course they will win on penalties, i think the blow to their ego might help this sunday. but it could also backfire such that they get more fired up and do their 'bounce back' bullshit. but anyhow. soccer.tonight.4a.m.

me and the maplek are going to wear our jerseys on friday, attend our SPORTS and history lecture, then go watch football hooligans. YAYYYYYYYYYYY!

yesyes i am having another i'm- so- happy- i- could- burst- into- rays- of- sunshine moment. abit unhealthy also if you think about it. but i too lazy to think, so you tell me the detrimental effects of my extreme euphoria okay?

ohohohoh i can think of one right now.

when i am too happy, i start thinking i am the dalai lama. who has reached nirvana...

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and achieved all sense of balance, the highest form of utopia and the highly- regarded internal unity- such that my body, heart, mind and soul am at one with the environment, and everything i touch defies gravity.

precious moments

just thought i'd share with everyone a classic fiza moment.

that my friends, is me and my black converse sneakers, soaked. and that, is me drying them under the hand- dryer in the toilet at that dodgy mall along arab street.

and these are the kind of pictures i want flashed at my wedding so that everyone knows i'm not another phony in a white dress.

i have lived!

yes, i consider drying wet sneakers under hand- dryer and having a picture of it taken as having lived. CAN?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

you got me lifted shifted higher than the ceiling

and ooh whee, its the ultimate feelin' alright.

no blog yesterday cuz was a lil' tired from a full run of school. as it is i missed my 8 am lecture (I KNOW so much for onz sem) but i made it for my 2pm and 4 pm class. then it was pasta at bugis. to quote hafiz upon hearing our plans, "pasta?!?!?! againn!?!!"

and suresh replies in his best oh- pity- me- the- cheese- addict voice, "but i haven't had pasta in a week! i'm suffering from cheese malnutrition."

right on. so bugis it was for pastamania. then home for my much- needed nap. got home at 7ish and slept right till 10ish. tsktsktsk. managed to FINALLY finish week 1 readings for ONE pathetic module and i hope to clear at least 3 more modules tonight. RAHHHH!

very spirited i am. good mood, can't you tell?

went to queensway after school with the boy today and he got his new school bag. very cheap, $18 only! all hail queensway.

i got something for myself too. forum is having the usual stalls and milo truck (we gave it a miss today; milo makes me shit, makes him more thirsty) and lo and behold! book sale! 3 for $10. yeeeeeeeeeha. and of course, that wouldn't be of importance if they didn't have TWO MICHAEL CONNELLY BOOKS. if got three i would have bought three, but they had one robin cook for the boy so we got our book splurge for the month already. note to selves: do not go near any bookstores till february.

and the boy hugged the plastic bag of books, grinned and said, "geeks." haha.

speaking of which i got my tutorial slots; yay me! here's to 3- day weeks!

now if only EVERY sem was this good, i'd be a very happy girl. goodness. i got no reason to screw up this sem, so no more making excuses for myself.

maybe someone read my rant on the system and decided that this a girl that needs appeasing. and for some reason they've decided to appease her friend as well; namely hafiz. not sure bout' suresh yet.

had first evolution lecture with him just now. haha. pretty interesting. and they have changed the field trip from sungei buloh nature reserve... to...

THE ZOO! WHOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

i am the happiest girl in the world. you can't go wrong with the zoo man.

and i hope the cute guy outside the evo classroom during break will be there every week. hoo hoo. cute can. looks like... umm... the wolfgang guy who ended up with denise keller.

cute hor? yay! new eye candy. all you other SPGs LAY OFF, i chope liao.

ya don't want najib already. this is the year of the ang mohs!

uhh okay so anyway. this sunday got man u VS liverpool! !!!!! so this friday me and the maplek shall wear our liverpool and man u jerseys; respectively. the Kop is not afraid of old trafford okayyyy.

so i shall continue my happy day by eating my banditto, reading the papers, rest, do some readings, draft my papers due next week aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand WATCH SOCCER! YAY YAY! no school tomorrow! and NO SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAYS AND THURSDAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFEEEEE! well okay for the rest of the SEM but i happy can.

lalalalalala. so happy hor? which is weird cuz i got my period today so technically i should be mopey and pms- y. but i've employed this new 'cure' whereby when i get my cramps, i drink hot milk and eat something warm (like cheezy mushroom puff from coffee club). and i try not to lie around or sit down but instead keep moving and keep talking so as to distract myself from the pain. in other words, DO NOT SUCCUMB TO THE PAIN. and it works! usually i will trudge home immediately after school if i got my period but this time i FOUGHT the pain and instead wandered around queensway with the boy.

and see? i'm much happier!

if everyone is as happy as me everyday no one will ever take drugs. sigh.

see? so happy right? hurhur.

ok better stop before some people slap me. but how to slap me, i'm not in school tomorrow! hahahahahahaha.

okbye.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

first of all may i just say,

I ROCK BALLS.

many many balls, more balls than you can ever imagine.

SO.

yesterday was... interesting. haha. i went to apple@ funan, drop off my laptop then met the boys at orchard mrt. and who do i see beside apek lim, but NAZ! wak naz! hahaha. who just happened to be in town and wanted to meet his "only gay friend." rrright.

then imran comes along, naz goes off, and three of trooped down to far east to eat. then walked down to cineleisure in hope that there is a nice movie to catch. and there isn't. so we go to starbucks liat. then they decided they want to go esplanade. so we did. then from esplanade someone said let's go fullerton. we didn't, but ended up pretty near anyway. and by then it was almost 10 and i kept whining that i wanted to go home cuz there's a liverpool HOME game that i cannot miss.

and THAT, was my brilliant saturday.

so anyway the home pc has been wonky since forever, and can't be connected to the internet for unknown reasons. but miraculously today i poked around and walla, I AM ONLINE. now all of you will not have to bear the sorrow of a blog- less fiza. :D

and due to my unending brilliance too, i have managed to upload pictures from weeks and weeks ago. but i shall not lump it all at once la- overkill can.

so i present to you; the chronicles of letchmi. or achi. whichever.

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and a few of the girl on the other side.
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our own pure manifestation of boredom.

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my mum the terrormerrer.

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about a boy.

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we love yakun!
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ok finish. some msn, some lunch, and then back to readings. i'm just happy internet is back at my fingertips. one night was manageable, but a week is insufferable okayyyy.

the past...

thankfully. haha. LOOK AT THAT LA.

and my now.

hemsem- memsem horrr.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

just a quick one before i go meet the boys.

la_to_ as we all know from yesterday has gone wonky and mad and warranty ex_ires TOMORROW so i have to bring it in to a__lecare TODAY. so yes i most likely won't be blogging over the weekend and even longer, de_ending on how long they take to fix this.

sob. i will miss blogging. nyeh.

and i will _robably go crazy checking my emails in school. and its first week of school some more, so many things to catch u_ on. sigh.

okay okay i'll go now. byebye la_to_.

Friday, January 13, 2006

wah lao eh

i sat in a classroom or lecture theatre today for a grand total of 1hr and 23 minutes.

BUT.

how long was i in school?

from 9.30 a.m., to 4.30 p.m.

yes, that's pretty darn long if you ask me.

but all is well, i've gotten almost all my texts, and now i can start reading. yay nerds.

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nerds are the new black.

i don't feel like typing much cuz firstly i'm sleepy and secondly my keyboard has gone dysfunctional and i can't type the letter 'p', the number '0', the symbol '/' and its shared symbol '?'. then how did i type all that? through copying and pasting. its quite harrowing, yes.

the happiness report reveals a good hour spent at starbucks raffles drinking coffee and being silly with the maplek. warm smile on face reports reveal a good 2 hours shared with nazreen. oh crap. and now i've discovered the keys used to type a smiley, is also gone. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. GAHHHHHHHH.

see under such circumstances i shouldn't type too much in case i agitate myself further. so have a good weekend all, and you two exes, if you read this, see you tomorrow, and yes, i will be late.

just thought i'd share it with you guys. i plan to view it every monday. kinda helps chase away all the monday blues i think.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

clearer

its a much better day, with regards to previous post, BUT the weather is still a bitch.

BUT i had a good laugh today.

"SINGAPORE : Heavy rain caused part of a slope next to the National University of Singapore Business School to collapse on Wednesday.

Experts ruled out a landslide but say slope failures of such magnitude were rare in Singapore.

Within minutes, the soil along the slope at the NUS Business School shifted.

It destroyed the landscape outside the school and a stretch of drain at the foot of the slope.

Experts said it could have been caused by the heavy downpour, loosening the soil and causing the slope to give way."

teehee. so funny. i told suresh i hope that it'll get worse then science faculty and pgp side collapses onto arts which is somewhere in the middle of the 'valley' and it'll sink into the soil and disappear! yay! it'll become a tomb and decades later it'll be dug out, a lost civilization. hurhur.

ok la back to school tomorrow mah. so allow myself a little wishful thinking.

10 am evolution, 4 pm sports history. boowhizza.

had a nice day today, albeit it was still wet and pouring and cold. its very depressing weather. now i know why british people are so wry and dry. this weather is the pits.

on a bright note the weekend is here too. haha. so it kinda offsets everything. just a day in school then back to r&r. movie plans with the apek and maybe the gay. i shouldn't get used to this. as normal as it might seem i see it as potential road to downward destruction, continual downward spiral leading to further dysfunctionalities and disasters.

oh well. a jamban is a jamban is a jamban.

how apt. i feel like taking a shit now.

ok la cannot hold your shit too long wait get umm... gall bladder? ok no. umm. some disease i guess.

OKWHATEVERISHALLSHITNOWBYE.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

its pouring acid rain

i have a strong feeling if the rain will stop all this irrational sadness/ crankiness/ snarkiness will go away.

maybe it was too naive to hope that my thrill for spills would go away so soon. foolish to be so quick to believe i'm cured of my need for rage and nastiness, snide remarks and cold siberian tundras, hot tears on cheeks and stinging, stinging, heartbreaking pain. maybe this addiction is not that easy to kick.

but when your need for pain, your crave for hearbreaking sorrow has the inversed effect of hurting the one you love most, i really don't think its worth it.

i should go for rehab.

i need an elixir, a placebo of sorts. and you are my best panacea, but you're the one i've hurt most in the end. how foolish and timely.

there's something innately wrong with me whereby i don't like hurting people, but hurting the ones i love most comes with such ease.

sick. and sad.

i don't want to be that person anymore. i smile at so many strangers by the time i come home to my own heart i feel cut and dry, and i can barely lift the corners of my lips just for you. when all you want is a smile, i find it a bother when others ask for so much more.

when all you need to be happy is for me to be happy, i find it easier to joke and talk and laugh and make merry with (for?) unimportant people who don't give two shits on when my next smile is gonna come.

maybe all i'm trying to say is i'm sorry. and it won't happen again. i took you for granted, the gravest mistake anyone does in a relationship. yet we do it all the time.

i want us to be happy again. i'm sorry. i like you. i never meant it when i said i didn't.

in other apt news i got a new cheap tee. that says 'motor mouth' big big on the chest. and judging on the damage caused by this most nimble, dynamic and eloquent ~~cavity~~ ~~crevice~~ ~~piehole~~ ~~cavern~~ CHASM in my face, i am assuming its very true.

very dangerous mouth i have.

ITS AWARDS SEASON!

and i'm one to jump on the bandwagon.

critics choice awards just went by, golden globes in a week. and here's my first award for the year 2006...

Top 8 (cuz i happy and i'm anti- cool like that) Weirdest Searchengine Queries (that brought people to this blog)

8. MSN Search: how can i get my grades from f to a in 2 days?

7. MSN Search: "turkish pronounciation"

6. Yahoo: world record fiza henna

5. MSN Search: kenals buy a dog

4. Yahoo: woffles wu movie

3. Yahoo: tok bali tong ikan

2. AltaVista: lite.lolita firr sex .com

1. Yahoo: dick throbbing stroke tutorial

till then, so long!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

got someone crazier than me

very happy. there's someone crazier than me! this is brilliant news.

no i won't tell you who. hahahahahaha. it shall be my little secret (weapon). on days i feel sad i shall just remind myself there's someone like THAT and i will be fine. :D

woke up today and first thing to be done was go to my stepsister's place. late dad side. why?

CUZ MY NIECE IS GETTING ENGAGED!

ya. my niece okayyyyyy. she's a year younger than me. don't ask me to explain to you the complex construct of my family.

so anyway yes she got engaged, looking very sweet and all that shazazz.

she's gonna be engaged for a year. so that means by the time she's married, i'm still SCHOOLING. when i graduate, she'll probably be a MUM. when i get married, she might probably have GRANDKIDS!

and that is a very stressful empirical fact to live with.

anyway after that was grandaunt's place. food! then hospital.

so that's jurong west- eunos- novena- woodlands for you. talk about covering the entire bloody local map.

ooh local. *smothers laughter*

inside joke. :D

no school till friday, but lunch plans in the making for the minah sisterhood. yes! a reunion! yay us.

feeling tired and lazy. hmm. pictures will be uploaded... soon. i guess. when i feel like it la.

my eyes hurt. i think its time to change my contacts but i can't seem to recall if its been a month yet. pah.

too distracted la. talk more another time.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

- Neil Gaiman, In Love

hmm.

Monday, January 09, 2006

gastric pain

as fabulously as school went, i'd be damned if i had to face another day in school tomorrow.

fortunately i don't, so thank god (literally) for hari raya haji. my next stint in school comes friday, and 3 days is hopefully more than enough R&R.

interesting things to note:

when i woke up at 6 a.m., i felt slightly confused, where got soccer game at 6? such a weird hour! then i realized... ohhh. school. right.
i changed into my clothes in the dark. well i DID switch on my room lights la but outside was still dark. like black kind of dark. NO hint of SUN at all kinds of dark. excuse my fascination cuz the last time this occured i was 16.
similarly, i left the house when the sky was a deep dark blue, slightly violet. very fascinating again, cuz i've never left the house before sunrise. haha.
the train i rode in was relatively okay cuz i got a seat and it was direct to pasir ris. and the smelly people were standing. so i survived.
the bus ride to school was interesting cuz i saw a big fallen branch and many police cars and alot of cordoning of areas and all that and all i could think was, "wow, cool things happen in the morning." somehow i doubt you see such things in the afternoon. or maybe i'm giving my otherwise insignificant bus ride too much credit. hoo well.

so then i went for my 8 a.m. lecture and not only was i on time, i was ahead of dizzie! of course i took the opportunity to gloat and gloat to him on my remarkable punctuality and his apparent lateness. oh and i also took the opportunity to text everyone i know worth texting, this:

"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP! What are you doing sleeping on this brilliant beautiful monday morning! wake up and smell the fresh air! *flexes muscles and roar* heh. morning."

i must say that made my day, though the same can't be said of the recipients. :D

lecture ended at 9, as does most first lectures. so we had breakfast at macs, bummed at Blk ADM then the maplek came we bummed a little more and then it was my 12 o'clock class.

i didn't sit with the maplek and i'm beginning to think that's a good idea, to curtail the side effects of having excessive modules together.

though i did sit beside him during the 4 pm lecture, but i hardly talked or looked at him, so its all good. acknowledging his presence only when school is over is alot easier. haha. i hate to have to talk to this people and that people when i'm in class. unless its dizzie. haha! SO THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS DIZZIE, I WILL NEVER SHUT UP WITH YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA.

ahem okay.

anyway 2- 4 was sexuality lecture and i must say both content and lecturer are as interesting. looking forward to this module. and dizzie? as predicted, maplek is crashing lecture the day we watch kama sutra and that other video. -_-.

eh but it was quite freaky to see a giant sealion humping a poor little baby sealion. looks so... violent. and violating.

and these huge sealions are not like those nice sleek ones you see at the zoo, but they're HUGE and FAT like 3 pigs stuck together. i'm serious. and the baby sealion looks like... a baby pig. so imagine that.

you know what don't bother. let me google some pics to visually prove to you how scary it looked.

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now this is the big sealion. look at that! i take back my pig comparison. this thing looks like a grizzly bear.

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and this is baby sealion.

now imagine the big one coming out from the ocean. imagine the baby one lazing by the shore, but upon realizing big one is unto him/ her, he/ she panics and tries to get away. you can actually see how frantic it is but because the huge thing is so huge, it catches up anyway and throws its body weight, in all its gigantic glory, unto the baby sealion and starts humping. interesting.

so anyway school ended at 6 for me and i made my way back home. tired, but it hasn't been too bad at all. then again its day 1, and hell only starts on week 3. so yeap.

but i shall be grateful anyway. pretty smooth day, no getting lost. no flashes of temper, though i got annoyed a few times by too many irritating people who choose to make their presence felt in too many ways. never mind.

and i only ate that breakfast for the whole of today. so naturally i'm starving. and naturally i'm having gastric pain. and naturally, i am too lazy to do anything about it and shall just wait for mum to get back with food. :)

selamat hari raya haji!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

i'm just hangin' around...

nothinnnng to do but frownnnn... rainy days and mondays always gets meeeee downnnn...

lovely apt song.

some pissy weather we've got today, aye? it started raining at about 2ish this morning, during the FA Cup halftime (liverpool luton). and it hasn't stopped since. mighty clouds we got up there.

woke up at a nice lazy 2.30 p.m. and the rain was a perfect setting for snuggling under covers and finish reading my hornby. i'm a woman on a mission! i did finish it. now i'm ready for readings and coursepacks. hoo yeah.

lazily texted the boy, and over an exchange of smses we concluded that the weather sucked (his soccer game was cancelled, rain was splashing into my room- yes that counts), he's getting restless, i've finished my book (can't stay at home too long, nothing more to surf online), i'm craving for cheese fries (warm cheese fries on a cold rainy day, anyone?), he likes cheese, period, and walla! he drove by, we went to sun plaza for two rounds of cheese fries and pepsi. then a little walkabout, yak and yak and it was home again.

and the rain never once let up.

but its been such a pretty sunday. just whiling the hours away in a nice secluded spot in kfc, battling for cheesier fries and him constantly snapping stupid shots of me with my phone.

got home feeling warm and happy, and i don't think cheese fries deserves all the credit. :)

and so tomorrow its back to school... hmm. kinda excited, kinda hesitant. there's alot to do for this semester. but i'd take it a day at a time.

to all those going back to school too, let's do it. again. haha. see you guys around. NOW the year has truly begun.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
It’s nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it’s the only thing to do
To run and find the one who loves me
Rainy Days and Mondays; The Carpenters

leave the light on

at 10 we decided we were hungry. and despite technology's great progress, we are unable to access one of modern life's greatest discovery; food deliviries.

why?

cuz between us we had a total of $3.70.

told the boy we're like dumb & dumber, and my mum's dumber cuz she didn't withdraw money before coming home in the evening.

so we went on a food hunt. there's this guy who sells satay off the back of his bicycle. very ol' skool. i like. 10 mutton sticks. then withdraw money; and she got pineapple from the bridge. then 7- 11 for lime coke and regular coke, a chocolate bar and van houten chocolate assortments, then macs for her beef fan- tastic and my big mac. PWHOAR.

so now i'm filled with satay and big mac and lime coke. i love the lime coke ad by the way. it starts with this indian guy singing, "you put the lime in the coke then you drink the two together." in thick, full- out indian accent. call me up if you want, i demo to you. i love singing it to my maplek. haha.

then later got soccer game. then tomorrow i plan to wake up late then soak in the bath tub. with bath salts, if there's any. and lather my feet in foot cream. mmm.

then i will sleep before 2 or else i'd get less than 4 hours sleep. i even bought a can of coffee just now in preparation for monday. i will need it. the battle has begun. *puts on bullet- proof vest, tinted raybans, checks holsters and takes a swig from new dutch lady coffee, made from pure belgian chocolate*

haha i should be some coffee joint's ambasaddor la. i drink alot (of coffee) okay. and after i drink i will tend to become very chirpy and hyperactive and giggly. my theory is cuz i don't drink (alcohol) so my body has low, umm, drug- excess tolerance. like if you always drink (alcohol) then your body becomes increasingly tolerant to alcohol, then you can hold your drink longer. but if you rarely drink just a glass or something can make you tipsy.

so for people like me who don't even drink, minor things makes me high. like too much caffeine. previously just a mocha frap could make me pretty high. any lame jokes or just a hint of humour could set off a fit of unstoppable laughter. which is why coffee dates are not good for first dates cuz the guy might not be funny but i'd be laughing anyway, cuz caffeine has tainted my brain cells and my judgement is totally skewed.

but now i've improved vastly, and fraps don't make me that high anymore. but then again i've moved on to lattes, and hooo boy the laughing fits i get from those. i think that's why suresh loves having coffee with me, cuz i'm too busy laughing to point out that his jokes are actually terribly lame.

ok and very pure chocolate makes me terribly high. on friday me and him got high- end chocolates from prestige; milk chocolate with hazelnut praline center. i had TWO and goodness, i was laughing non- stop. our conversations went something like;

him: *makes a lame joke*
me: hahahahahahaha
him: hahaha
me: oh my god that's not even funny!
him: ya i know
me: hahahahaha
him: but you're laughing alot anyway
me: ya! i think i'm high hahahahaha
him: i think so too
me: god its really not funny! why am i LAUGHING!?!?!
me: aahhahahaahahhaahah
him: haha

-_-. ok la whatever.

anyway i am so prepared for school! i've noted down important dates like term paper due dates, movie screening dates, field trip dates, dates where there's no classes, mid- sem break dates, public holidays... hehehehe.

eh this uhh- unghh of mine is hopeless. IVLE also must ask him to check. nus email must ask him to check. then miss important announcements my fault la!?!? eejit.

i can only imagine how it'll be like when hafiz lim enters nus. god. nus should pay me for being the walking, talking, breathing information counter for hopeless (male) freshies.

and i can't wait for the good movies to come out! pirates of the caribbean has a sequel, i know GOAL! has a sequel, football hooligans look good, x- men 3 (!), superman returns (even if i don't want to the maplek is bound to ~~drag~~ beg me there), (even though i didn't read the book cuz it was so hyped i didn't want to be disappointed),the da vinci code, lady in the water,hostel,cars (pixar + disney= YAY!) and aiya. alot la.

okay soccer starting soon. happy sunday!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

such pretty vege and silly boy

woke up at 1 today. am very very pleased. tomorrow i want to wake up at 2. :D cuz MON- freakin'- DAY i'm waking up at an unearthly SIX. gaaaaaaaaah.

and i will, for the next 4 months. AAAAAAAAAAARGH.

ok but anyway i woke up at 1 cuz hana texted me for lunch at kfc at 2. for the record, she got there at 2.15 okayyy. harumph.

went for kfc cuz macs was too packed. nyeh. besides i felt like having some cheeeeecken.

so i ordered my popcorn chicken meal. and since its a LARGE popcorn chicken, you can hardly expect 3 packets of chilli sauce to be suffice. so i asked for more. then this very funny malay boy at the counter says, "oh sorry finish already." ok lor so whatever. he's obviously being dumb so i paid and took my tray. and as i left he grabbed beneath the counter and fished out like 50 packets of chilli and grinned happily. ok yay you who hath many chilli packets?

i walked away cuz he was freaking me out la. what nonsense. so then at the table i was just telling hana, "you know i asked the boy for chilli sauce and..." i didn't finish my sentence cuz a magic hand appeared out of nowhere and plopped 3 chilli packets on my tray.

i say thanks and this boy goes, "WHOOOO HOOO!"

-____________________-

then hana went to order HER meal and she came back empty- handed, cuz she said the boy wants to send her tray over. riiiiiiiight. so he did.

then we were happily talking nonsense, and then hana goes, "oh wow he's peeping over the wall."

i looked over and yes, i saw his fingers on the corner of the wall and seconds later his head popped out. err weeeoow.

so i called the maplek to tell him what the hell was going on and we were laughing and laughing about it and somehow by the end of the conversation i concluded that indians shall be called uhh- unghhs cuz i can't say indian with so many around me. so he became uhh- unghh at the end of the conversation.

anyway we sat there till 5 then hana needed to buy pandan leaves and i needed to get straits time. so we went to prime supermarket but it was damn packed. but they had this super nice- looking vegetable outside! it looks like cabbage, but sturdier and more fanciful. so pretty la. really.

then then then then we entered the WET MARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never went in before okay!!!!!! since i shifted here i never once entered it and i did and oh WOWWWWWW its so cool. so market- like. and umm... alot of veges. and got very long carrots. and cucumbers being sold at $1 per basketful. wahhhhhh.

i was very excited okayyyy. so many things! such an exhilarating experience.

anyway then i got my straits time and she went back and i came home. now i want to read new paper, straits time, my nick hornby, and hopefully fall asleep at some point.

am already in my pink fleece jammies. yeah you know which one. i know its only six but i happy can.

okgoodnight!

Friday, January 06, 2006

spent the day with the boy. ate some ya kun toasts, bought my school bag. then dinner at thai express, long walk to here there and everywhere.

brilliant day.

but i'm tired.

school starts in 2 days. i wake up at 6 a.m. OH THE HORROR.

therefore i shall use the weekend to sleep like a pig and enjoy my last few moments as a freebird.

not feeling too chatty. one of those days. more tomorrow.

good night!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

nehnynehnypoopoo

Dear (me),

Please find your bidding result for Acad Yr 2005/2006, Semester 2 as follows:

------------------------------------------
Allocated Modules
------------------------------------------

Module Code : HY2247
Module Title: SPORT AND HISTORY

i rock sotong balls yo.

so i've gotten all the modules i wanted this sem. first choice time- table okayyy. 3 days a week, sufficient breaks, and only one mightily heavy day.

mondays; 8- 6, lunch break from 12- 2.
tuesdays; 10- 4, no breaks. nyeahaha.
fridays; 10- 6, lunch break from 12- 2. 2- 4 is chao mugger mode. haha. yes i've allocated time to STUDY next sem.

more geekism in the form of my latest book; introducing evolution. which as you would see one of the modules i'm taking for USP. i did the writing mod on that, and enjoyed it. so i thought what the hell. kill two birds with one stone. learn more and at the same time get some background before class starts. :D

*takes out geeky glasses, ruffles out hair*

haha okay what else. so ya la dinner with mum and her best friend. fun time, lotsa laughs.

run tomorrow. and last dinner date with the maplek before school starts. nyeh. but hor, tuesday is public holiday already. so my first week of school is like... 2 days. yay!

eh but still no tuition kid. not good assignments, at least. hmm hmm.

okay la all in all its been a good 2006. hopefully its a good sign. this morning i even managed breakfast with the maplek at macs! like a normal healthy couple. wow.

eh and have i mentioned i love cold rainy nights? not when it actually RAINS when i'm out, but like that post- rain coldness. especially if i'm all wrapped up in my jacket. then i can stuff my hands in my pockets, my hair will fly- fly and i can feeling- feeling i am experiencing autumn in new york.

WAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA.

that was my deep dark secret okay. goodness, the THINGS i share with you people!

so anyway nothing much to report. i'm just very happy okay? anyone want to add to my happiness feel free to tag or email or msn me. make me happy! now ain't that a wonderful life purpose.

oh here's another thing i'd like to share with you.

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kesian dia. kecik- kecik mak dia tak belikan basikal, dah besar kemaruk.

er okay that was... poor guy. deprived childhood... mum never got him a bike when young, and now he's gone crazy for one.

don't become that guy. *wags quivering forefinger*

this just in.

Dear (me),

Please find your bidding result for Acad Yr 2005/2006, Semester 2 as follows:

------------------------------------------
Allocated Modules
------------------------------------------

Module Code : ULS2202
Module Title: EVOLUTION

Module Code : SC3101
Module Title: SOCIAL THOUGHT & SOCIAL THEORY

Module Code : SC3219
Module Title: SEXUALITY IN COMPARATIVE PERSPECTIVE

Module Code : USE2304
Module Title: SINGAPORE: THE MAKING OF A NATION

~.~

alhamdullilah. the IMMENSE relief. you have NO idea.

only problem is now i have 17 points left, and that's all i've got to bid for sports and history tomorrow, THE fun module i want and THE module i'm supposed to do with the boy. sigh.

but i shall be grateful for what i have now, and pray for the best tomorrow.

went out with mum for dinner at magic wok city hall. food isn't as good as the old far east branch. i bit a CHUNK of salt. what kinda cook uses CHUNKY salt?

so anyway then it was raffles city, citylink mall and suntec for some retail therapy. i got a new top, yay! i have a feeling this sem i'm gonna be colour- coded again... ha. each sem i have a 'colour' or look'. purely unintentional, but it happens. last sem was a very green sem. previously was very retro- rock. first sem in nus was uhh i can't remember. but my point is. its happening. again. i'm beyond control. EGADS.

moving right along. pictures uploaded! me jenius, you jealous horrrrrrr. :D

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that's our sentosa night picnic. see 3 containers there? from left- right; salsa dip, chapati (CHAPATI YOOOOO) and ALLU MUTTER. which is potato something. hoo yeah.

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he can open, i cannot la okay? don't be a caveman about it. harumph.

in our boredom...
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we compared eyeballs. (i won okay. by pie x radius x radius, cuz my eyeball radius is more!)

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and legs. he win bulu (leg hair), i win, umm, size. CUZ MY FEET ARE SMALL AND COMPACT! HAHA!

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him at starbucks last night. :| wow. my boyfriend looks VERY retarded like that.

so of course, i tell him to do my favourite pose...
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KAWAII NEEEEEE!

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greedy. drink MY coffee and his, then swallowed it together. and of COURSE it tasted like crap. sigh.

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the ONLY nice shot of me that night. the REST? my eyes were half- shut, i was talking, my hands were flying, all sorts la. and even then he had to do that finger effect or whatever, and say it looks like barely- opened eyes. *smacks forehead (his, not mine)*

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a rare hemsem- mensem shot. YA LA ONLY I THINK HE HANDSOME CAN. leave me alone. bahhhhhh.

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happy new year from our cosy nook in the tower. :) this captured a very happy moment in my life.

ok must end with stupid pic.

here's to us! :D

er okay. latest news:

peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
EH
peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
i'm jealous
peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
Y* had a huge fight with M*
peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
I ALSO WANT!

SuReSh says:
hahahaha
SuReSh says:
okayyyy
SuReSh says:
and how will that help?

peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
help what?
peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
its healthy!

SuReSh says:
help anything?

peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
if we come to some conclusive solution to the problem

SuReSh says:
but what problem??

peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
um
peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
we're not fighting enough!

SuReSh says:
fight about not fighting?

peeled fresh, raw flesh says:
yes!

SuReSh says:
five for fighting!!

-_-. who deserves the ambulance ride to IMH, and who shall have the liberty of a cab ride? our lines are now open. please call in to vote. normal SMS charges apply.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

nice and easy now, guns down everyone, no need for violence

okay lah i think the previous post was excessively angsty, but i refuse to take it down cuz it precisely manifests my extreme anger.

but today was a very good day! the maplek is being a very nice boyfriend. i know, boring. but its just weird la. he's like on a winning streak of sorts. like liverpool, you know? (yes they drew last night SHUT UP) everyday he's nice. and i'm just waiting for him to slip up or miss his footing but no, he just keeps me happy day in, day out. and i'm all, what the hell? but yesyes i am grateful okayyyyy don't throw me the damn tomatoes.

but sometimes i just feel like... oh godddd when are we going to fight. the tension kills me really. and we never fight cuz we're both too lazy. ya we're not mushy- sweet okay. we just can't be bothered to get on each other's nerves. which works fine by me.

EHHHHHH before i forget. DIZZIEEEEE CONGRATSSSSSS WE MUST GO JB AND CELEBRATE. AKU NAK AYAM PORTUGESE.

ok moving on.

so anyway today as we were just sitting and talking and being random as we always are, i think he said something nice and i went, "i love you." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

why am i even typing this? oh well i'm too far gone la.

anyway then i say, "don't think you heard it the first time."

and this nehnehpok goes, "haha i did... i love you too."

okay and then its like all nice and happy moment right? but fiza has to go...

fiza: *swings arms around, gesturing general surrounding atmosphere* this is so nice right? i mean like this point of the relationship. when you can say things like that. like ahhh. *swings arms around some more in explanation for ahhhhhh*
suresh: *smiles*
fiza: like... so nice. *flaps arms around* aiya. nice la. its a very nice... thing. so happy and all that you know?

HAHAHAHAAH OKAY LA. i am a dick. happy moment and i have to taint it with my brilliant impersonation of a chicken.

then i told him first time he said it i wanted to say thank you in reply but common sense told me its not the right answer, even though i was grateful and genuinely felt thankful. so then he said something else that was nice and i said thank you. then pause. "er was that the right answer?"

i don't understand what's wrong with saying thank you. if someone say something say nice, and it makes you happy, isn't it polite to say thank you?

fiza: i'm glad you're you cuz it makes it easier for me to be me.
suresh: i'm glad you're you too.
suresh: that's what i like so much about you.

okay see nice sweet moment kan? and fiza replies;

fiza: yay!
fiza: thank you.
fiza: is that the right answer?
suresh: aiya you'll never get this thank you thingy right la.

so sad.

okay so yes i am happy now, relatively. cuz i am highest bidder for a module. NYEAHAHAHA. and that's cuz i bombed all my points. so if next minimum bid reaches 700, i'm still safe. more than that i'll be suicidal.

everyone, on suicide- watch. NOW.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

warning: coarse language ahead. not safe for work.

I HATE BIDDING. I HATE CORS BIDDING SYSTEM. I HATE BIDDING. HATE HATE HATE. BIDDING IS A BLOOD- SUCKING MONSTER, A SYSTEM AIMED AT SEEKING OUT THE TOUGHEST BREED AND LETTING THE REST OF US DIE A TERRIBLE DEATH.

now that THAT'S out of the way, i had a FANTASTICK day with the maplek.

BUT FUCK CORS THE KANINA I AM DAMN PISSED LA WHYYYYYYYYYY THE HELL MUST NUS DO THIS TO THEIR STUDENTS?

"Module selection and module allocation are mission critical exercises for you as well as the university. There must be fairness, equity and responsibility. As the university advances towards a broad-based education, you will be required to enroll in modules across faculties, and a system must be established to facilitate you and at the same time allow the teaching departments to manage their resources optimally.

It is hoped that a bidding system will accomplish these objectives. The bidding system requires you to make careful consideration of your priorities as each decision has an impact on your future choices - a good training ground to prepare you for life after graduation. It is an opportunity to educate you on the need to weigh your options, make decisions and live with the consequences of your actions."

can you believe this people? FUCK THAT SHIT LA.

THIS IS NOT PREPARING ME FOR MY LIFE AFTER FUCKING GRADUATION. IF I EVEN BLOODY LIVE THROUGH THIS HORROR OF A SYSTEM.

weigh my fucking options? NOT MUCH of an OPTION if you ask me.
make decisions? NOT WHEN I GET THE SHITTY LEFTOVER MODULES! that's not MY decision now, is it?
live with the consequences? HELL YES THERE'S CONSEQUENCES, LIKE MY GRADES AND MY CAP AND MY FUCKING MIND!

gahhhhhhhhhh. losing it losing it. i've been staring at the screen since i've bidded. that's an hour of staring at a stagnant screen. staring. staring.

why? why do put us through this, sem in, sem out? will it kill them to find a better, more efficient and less taxing system? will it kill them to be like other universities and just let us get what modules we want? WILL IT KILL THEM TO NOT KILL US???????

stress like hell okay. i am still staring at my bidding management page.

ULS2202; highest bid- 1242. YES THAT'S ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FREAKIN' TWO. lowest bid- 1. next minimum bid may be 1, but its only 1.5 hours into round 2A, and the vicious bastards aren't in yet. by tomorrow 10 a.m. next minimum bid will be my hair, my ears, and 2 forefingers. oh and 900 points. pffffffft.

USE2304; highest bid- 1179. i'm not going to spell that out for you. lowest bid- 1. next minimum bid still 1 but like i said. its early.

SC3219; highest bid- 1300. i.have.nothing.to.say. lowest bid- 60. next minimum, still 1. but i'm telling you, the cunning, sly, vicious module pirates never emerge until an hour before closed bidding. DIE YOU NEHNEHS, DIE.

i am stressed. can you tell?

for those of you who understand what the hell i'm going on and on about, you have my deepest condolences. for those not from NUS and therefore having no knowledge of my great pain and sorrow, i admire you for you astute decision in not entering this vicious institution.

"... a good training ground to prepare you for life after graduation."

i still can't believe that shit.

okay la for the record my day was brilliant. went for run with the two best boys, and then dinner with the maplek. coffee and languid chat at starbucks.

but i am at war now, and i must focus. therefore i shall continue staring at my cors bidding management page until i go blind.

Monday, January 02, 2006

i feel sad.

between liverpool's current goal deficit against bolton, the tons of things i saw and wanted and couldn't get when in town, and this funny empty feeling in my heart, i feel downright mopey.

the weather's not helping too.

i just feel sad.

anyone else feeling sad? there should be a club for people like us who feel sad at random.

sigh.

its beginning to look alot like... a new year

went for that run with dizzie. the last time i was at mcrithchie i was 16 and running for gan eng seng's cross- country. 4 years ago. phwoar.

and 4 years later, i could hardly finish the girls' route, much less win any trophies. pfft.

i was exhausted before we hit flatland. the uphill run was just too taxing and my legs felt like lead before i even got to hit concrete. could only run in spurts after that.

oh well. its a start. hopefully tomorrow will be better, then the day after, then the next, and the next...

so i got home, got food for mum, and just KO- ed in bed. yea. slept till like... um. now la. ahaha.

i got plans with shahira i think. waiting for her to reply confirmation. lalalala.

good thing about sleeping immediately after run was, now my thighs aren't aching, soles throbbing, etc. i'm all nice and fresh and ready to go.

but if run again tomorrow wah confirm flat out. hoo well.

pictures from sentosa can't be uploaded yet due to some problems. once i figure out this crazy laptop of mine, you'd get some. so be patient! i don't really know who i'm talking to.

i want to start on my new book but there's like no drive or motivator. can you believe? i need all that to start reading. like i want to save it for the future, but school starts soon then i might be too bogged down. decisions, decisions.

oh ya. my theory as to why i can't run as well as i did before is well... basically i got old. and that is sad. at 20 i should be in my prime, not panting like pluto before the trail is finished. :(

ok la i shall stop beating myself up about that run and go get ready. eh but she haven't reply. how like that. what the nehneh man.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

tagged, again

here you go, mr. cow. cute pic at nyd's, btw. ;)

In no particular order, list down:

3 people you talk to online,

4 people you see at school,

2 teachers,

3 people you love going out with, and

3 people in your sms inbox.

scott

hana

firr

dizzie

gail

yuchen @ yc

najib (HAHA)

mr kenneth tan

mr eddie koh

suresh

sara

shahira

hafiz lim

erwin

razinah

So what do you think of no. 4?
aaaaah. i think he is a GREAT friend with great hair. haha. very accommodating. always bear my nonsense one. so sweet lor. i lup you strong- strong too diz!

How would you feel if number 2 slapped your face?
SIAO BOH. well i'd probably think she's gone mad and walk off la. but then again she is already quite mad. but NO that doesn't excuse a slap. so don't try, hana.

On the scale of 1 to 10, how good looking do u think number 6 is?
oooooh. yc! are you reading this? haha. i'd say 8. if things worked out i'd probably date him but too bad, we're too far into the bro- sis thing now. haha. and don't forget the boyfriend on the side ah.

How nice is number 8?
very very nice. he is my advisor at USP and our recent meeting was so helpful and reassuring.

Honestly, if number 9 met an accident, what would you do?
cry. eddie koh is a huge motivator and i think the thought of losing him scares me more than anything else.

What sport would i play with number 12?
hahaha touch rugby! cuz she came for USP touch training for me okay. so nice. and definitely not soccer. she suck. haha. i still remember okay. during YEP at thailand. sg vs thai. haha.

How much do you like number 3?
oh firr? well okay la. he's a funny fella. full of nonsense. tries hard to be random, but still cannot win me. haha. loves whacking, and no, not necessarily in the violent context. ;)

Would 13 and 7 make a good couple?
hafiz lim and najib. wow. that's a... um... very interesting thought. well since one is my ex and the other is a massive crush (whom i cited as (one of many) cause(s) for the eventual break- up also, wahseh), i'd hope NOT.

Do i hate number 5?
gail? no way. she's only the most brilliant shopping partner ever? and she always spend tons on my topshop card so that i earn points faster. BRILL!

Would 14 kill me one day?
if he does, he'll lose the only person willing to listen to his rambles on that girl, analyze his poems, critically comment his photography and bother replying his text messages from jakarta. yeap.

Who do i like more ? 15 or 10?
oh noooooo. why make me choose until like that? i like razinah ALOT cuz she's the coolest friend. but eh. i must like my boyfriend alot also what righttt.

ok finish. who want to do also, do la okay? i bo chap.

spent my brilliant new year day lazing about, finishing my book. yes, and to me that is VERY productive okay. so shut up and leave me alone.

yeah so a good part of the day was me holed up in my room, windows shut, lights out, iTunes blaring, book in hand, tucked in bed, with the bedside lamp shining strong. shiok woooo.

and to make up for all this laziness, Mission GetHealthyin2006 comes into play almost immediately. tomorrow is running date with dizzie. boowhizza! we rock balls, yo.

then after that i am passing to him some of the brownies i baked. got leftover la. alot, in fact. brownies, anyone?

oh yea so i failed to mention how my saturday went. well woke up, read abit in bed. then cold storage to get foodstuff for picnic. and i ended up in the kitchen baking brownies and chapati. hoo yeahhhhhhh. CHAPATI YOOOOOOOOO. aku lah matair orang india yang ter- best di dunia. and i had FUN seh making chapatis. i just kinda threw the flat pieces of bread into the wok, then flip it, then finish. easy. but DAMN FUN! wah just thinking about it makes me wanna flip chapatis again. maybe i should open a mama stall man. would you buy my chapatis?

ok so what we had for dinner was chapati, ulli mutter (potatoes, peas, mushroom), brownies, caramel pudding, chips & salsa. we never got to the pudding, and the only thing thoroughly finished was the chapati and ulli mutter. kalau dah maplek tu...

then ya la. we were at that tower at palawan, all high and dry. then towards midnight it got crowded, which annoyed me a little. i mean i get it, we all want to see fireworks, but i don't understand why people have to encroach my personal space. i don't like okay. I AM CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

but anyway. fireworks came and went. if you ask me, the seah im carpark party one was more spectacular. bigger, most definitely. and lasted a solid 15 minutes la. the siloso party one was pretty small. i mean even from the tower where i was (which was pretty near), the fireworks looked small. so yeah. but its okay. now when someone ask me where i was at midnight i can say i was with the boy i love, and that is really the most pishposhtishtosh thing an attached girl can say, but i never got to say till this year. *beams*

that aside, on that wretched friday that boy bought his FIFA 2006 game and now i've been sidelined. grumble grumble. i DID say on that day now i'm gonna be ditched for soccer and he said, "no my dear, i'll never choose soccer over you." ah yes, the sweet words this boy feeds me with. LIAR! once *i* get my hot as hell XBox 360 and dead or alive game, THAT'S IT man. he'll be so redundant. HUMPH! and for the hell of it, i'll probably go get myself championship manager to install into the home PC. i mean, why not right. tit for tat!

anyway i've read a few blog posts on the, urm, annoying presence of banglas/ foreign workers during public events, like new year's eve parties and street parties. and how they use this to their advantage- many girls get groped and molested in the midst of festive merriment. its such a pity. i mean these acts are wrong, we shouldn't stand for it, regardless of the nationality. but i think its also unfair to stereotype that all of them do it. i know they DO i'm not saying they don't, but i'm saying not ALL of them do. and while nothing justifies any outrage of modesty, maybe we should consider if our preconceived notions of their intentions at being at a public event actually influences us to over- analyze everything that happens next in lieu with our contact with them. just a thought. but for the record, i too am wary of them, and i was last night, and so was the maplek. but where possible i avoided being in a situation of being in close proximity to a drunk, regardless of nationality. that's the least i can do for myself. i don't think it'll be fair to start forbidding foreign workers to attend such events and parties, or basically roam freely on public holidays. maybe a better compromise can be reached, and instead of being afraid to stand up and be heard, victims of such molestation should try and get help to apprehend the said offender. if they see that the ladies are not one to be messed with, i'm sure they won't be as daring.

phew, so long. sorry la i just feel bad. cuz i know molestation occurs, but i also know some foreign workers are here genuinely to earn money for their family back home. so its kinda hard.

okay la. catch some TV and grab a bite before coming back to the laptop. the maplek WILL be online, at an unknown time... why? cuz he is busy playing FIFA! humph.

this shall be my revenge.
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cuz white is the new black.

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hah!

take that, you FIFA- playing maplek!

p.s.: i just realized. gadget and tits. how more masculine can i get?

the best welcome

2 hours into the new year the boy who only means, like, the world to me...

says;

"i love you.
"hmm?"
"i love you."
"sorry?"
"deaf."
"haha i can't hear la. what?"
"you know i love you."

and nothing, nothing at all in this world, can wipe away this smile on my face.

hope your new year celebrations were as great. i had a brilliant time. :)

and to you, my jaws are aching from all this smiling. i hope you heard what i whispered to you in reply as i left the cab... but judging from the beam on your face, i think you did.

*hugs world*

good night!