I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
Hana
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
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Melbourne I
Melbourne II
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Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
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Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
don't look back in anger
january. school started. one too many boys. too many cooks spoils the broth, they say, and how...
february. still that same one boy. gotta give him credit for sticking around. valentine's day came and went. don't remember much now.
march. mess begins. door slammed on finger. met firr. blablabla.
april. exam period. bombed through. new mess in the form of faidzal. moved from chua chu kang to admiralty. left pgp.
may. spillover mess from previous month, but in all an enjoyable month. lots of musical rehearsals, and the final production itself. absolute fun. got closer to the minahs; sara and nyds. this and that and then some. imran made his comeback. and, AHEM, liverpool won champs league. whoooo hoooo. went out alot, ate alot. fun days. jammed with my now- defunct band.
june. one more musical run. ended with a night in the pub with the rest, playing murderer and having fun. still remember car ride there. 8 in a car. oh the JOY. got back together with the apek too, in the weirdest circumstances.
july. worked at coralia, push- cart down at causeway point. interesting job experience, to say the least. things with the apek not working out. i went for camp. met someone. :) rag practice started. met that someone more regularly. hehe. found myself falling, but not quite sure for whom. or what.
august. got together with that someone. school started. everything was pretty much dandy. USP dinner and dance, as well as rag party at laremy's. fireworks in your arms. :)
september. birthday month of me and the maplek. had lovely fun. also month when apek found out i was with maplek. also the month i chatted up najib. hahaha. the purple boy i've had a crush on only since the beginning of time. sheesh. later in the month, the apek revealed his own little twist. :)
october. I GOT CABLE TV! WHOO HOOOOO! more soccer for me, less saturday night outs. BRILLIANT. posted some interesting memes, and also my FIRST IVLE forum post. haha. the maplek and me still there, going strength by strength.
november. pretty much against all odds. mum got sick, he got sick, hari raya was pretty much spent in hospitals. not to say it was all bad. was also exams month, and i did relatively better than the previous semester. no bombings. also the month i got hit by TWO boleh kenal- kenals. and the month i told a poor, unknowing boy that me and sara were lesbians. yiiiiha.
december. the boy had left for melbourne. i went for a little trip down to port dickson myself. got my little R & R. me missing suresh manifested into a photoshop fest of horrific pictures of him as cute jap girls and j. alexander. haha. when he got back we got a zoo trip and the beach trip down. also met two of the most prolific exes. interesting stuff.
did it end too soon? or lasted too long? did time fly or did i have too much to do?
12 months, many weeks, hundreds of days.
is there a point in reminiscing, as long as i'm happy where i am?
i guess credit is to be given where credit is due. for all the drama and high- power action of this year (click on any month of 05' archives, then ask me to tell you the story of 'boy- in- mention', bound to be funny), i have to give my kudos to the other half of the world: males.
from the start; the one who was always there; hafiz lim. the one who doesn't even know he's here; najib. the one i don't talk to anymore; hakim. the one, whom like me, was most unlikely to settle but did, (at least for awhile); firr. the one who was wrong from the start but i was stupid, blind and naive; faidzal. and how can i forget- all the other mats, random waiters and insurance guys who ask for my number or take my number from surveys and feedback forms. if i sued the latter two categories, i'd be quite rich, and that's quite a tempting idea.
never a year without friends, blessed as i am. forged new, closer friendships with fantastic women; sara and nydia- you made musical and july a brilliant experience. long live minah sisterhood. hana- always there, always care, always up for a late night chat on shit. what more can i ask for? farhana- i guess we're both busy, school and work and generally being 20. but i know you're there and that's all that matters. hafiz nus- the bestest school bud a girl like me could ask for; reminding me of lecture venues & times, project deadlines, tutorial schedules- and of course singing along to the stupidest malay songs in the car and just sharing my laughter. remember, help me get my desired grades this semester or you might never see me again! the MSN buddies; erwin, hizuan, shahira, gail, laremy, yc, firr, razinah, scott... the comeback king; imran... and of course there's more, but it'll take another year to mention all of you. basically thank you; for being here, for listening, for letting me cry and be stupid and be silly and for just, the friendship.
never amiss; the mum, the family. the cousins, despite being so far away in malaysia, make my life so much more bearable just after meeting for a few days. always listening, always caring; the brothers i never had. my mum; what more can i say? she's everything that ever mattered and nothing has changed.
always missed; the father. the longer i spend in front of the laptop, the more often i see you, with your picture right here on my desk. newly amiss- the grandfather; was never a step- grandfather; since he's the only grandfather i ever knew and had. distant as it was, a root of your family dying always leave a dull ache. but blessed still i am; for a grandaunt and granduncle who are the best surrogate grandparents i can ask for.
life; in general, has been kind. through all the ups and downs, He never let me down, throw me aside. He seemed to always listen, as ungrateful and flawed as i am. He never gave up. thank you God for everything, and may the new year bring me closer to You.
the newest and possibly best addition of 2005; i guess the winner of this title needs no introduction. while future presence remains unknown, for the as many days he's been in my 2005, he made it most memorable. thanks for everything; for being a friend, a companion, a reading buddy, a partner, an equal, a source of constant laughter, gentle smiles, warm hugs, comfortable silences, soccer rivalry, witty repartee and lame jokes. maybe you were put in my life to make me happy for the rest of 2005... and that's it. and if so, i must say, you have succeeded. i can only hope this goes on forever- i've never been this happy in a long, long time. if i had one wish for 2006 it'll be for another year with you.
most importantly of course; i cannot forget this precious treasure of a blog; which has lasted me longer than all the men in my life combined. :) for all the hate- tags, blog- hoppers, and new friends (all you people reading this; :) you make me- here's my promise; i'll never leave you for livejournal, diaryland, blogsome, multiply, myspace or friendsterblogs. for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, i will love and cherish thee, till death do we part. or at least till i can't type anymore, all old and Alzheimer- ed.
now what else is there to do; but to welcome 2006 with a warm embrace.
i've been waiting for you.
january. school started. one too many boys. too many cooks spoils the broth, they say, and how...
february. still that same one boy. gotta give him credit for sticking around. valentine's day came and went. don't remember much now.
march. mess begins. door slammed on finger. met firr. blablabla.
april. exam period. bombed through. new mess in the form of faidzal. moved from chua chu kang to admiralty. left pgp.
may. spillover mess from previous month, but in all an enjoyable month. lots of musical rehearsals, and the final production itself. absolute fun. got closer to the minahs; sara and nyds. this and that and then some. imran made his comeback. and, AHEM, liverpool won champs league. whoooo hoooo. went out alot, ate alot. fun days. jammed with my now- defunct band.
june. one more musical run. ended with a night in the pub with the rest, playing murderer and having fun. still remember car ride there. 8 in a car. oh the JOY. got back together with the apek too, in the weirdest circumstances.
july. worked at coralia, push- cart down at causeway point. interesting job experience, to say the least. things with the apek not working out. i went for camp. met someone. :) rag practice started. met that someone more regularly. hehe. found myself falling, but not quite sure for whom. or what.
august. got together with that someone. school started. everything was pretty much dandy. USP dinner and dance, as well as rag party at laremy's. fireworks in your arms. :)
september. birthday month of me and the maplek. had lovely fun. also month when apek found out i was with maplek. also the month i chatted up najib. hahaha. the purple boy i've had a crush on only since the beginning of time. sheesh. later in the month, the apek revealed his own little twist. :)
october. I GOT CABLE TV! WHOO HOOOOO! more soccer for me, less saturday night outs. BRILLIANT. posted some interesting memes, and also my FIRST IVLE forum post. haha. the maplek and me still there, going strength by strength.
november. pretty much against all odds. mum got sick, he got sick, hari raya was pretty much spent in hospitals. not to say it was all bad. was also exams month, and i did relatively better than the previous semester. no bombings. also the month i got hit by TWO boleh kenal- kenals. and the month i told a poor, unknowing boy that me and sara were lesbians. yiiiiha.
december. the boy had left for melbourne. i went for a little trip down to port dickson myself. got my little R & R. me missing suresh manifested into a photoshop fest of horrific pictures of him as cute jap girls and j. alexander. haha. when he got back we got a zoo trip and the beach trip down. also met two of the most prolific exes. interesting stuff.
2005.
did it end too soon? or lasted too long? did time fly or did i have too much to do?
12 months, many weeks, hundreds of days.
is there a point in reminiscing, as long as i'm happy where i am?
i guess credit is to be given where credit is due. for all the drama and high- power action of this year (click on any month of 05' archives, then ask me to tell you the story of 'boy- in- mention', bound to be funny), i have to give my kudos to the other half of the world: males.
from the start; the one who was always there; hafiz lim. the one who doesn't even know he's here; najib. the one i don't talk to anymore; hakim. the one, whom like me, was most unlikely to settle but did, (at least for awhile); firr. the one who was wrong from the start but i was stupid, blind and naive; faidzal. and how can i forget- all the other mats, random waiters and insurance guys who ask for my number or take my number from surveys and feedback forms. if i sued the latter two categories, i'd be quite rich, and that's quite a tempting idea.
never a year without friends, blessed as i am. forged new, closer friendships with fantastic women; sara and nydia- you made musical and july a brilliant experience. long live minah sisterhood. hana- always there, always care, always up for a late night chat on shit. what more can i ask for? farhana- i guess we're both busy, school and work and generally being 20. but i know you're there and that's all that matters. hafiz nus- the bestest school bud a girl like me could ask for; reminding me of lecture venues & times, project deadlines, tutorial schedules- and of course singing along to the stupidest malay songs in the car and just sharing my laughter. remember, help me get my desired grades this semester or you might never see me again! the MSN buddies; erwin, hizuan, shahira, gail, laremy, yc, firr, razinah, scott... the comeback king; imran... and of course there's more, but it'll take another year to mention all of you. basically thank you; for being here, for listening, for letting me cry and be stupid and be silly and for just, the friendship.
never amiss; the mum, the family. the cousins, despite being so far away in malaysia, make my life so much more bearable just after meeting for a few days. always listening, always caring; the brothers i never had. my mum; what more can i say? she's everything that ever mattered and nothing has changed.
always missed; the father. the longer i spend in front of the laptop, the more often i see you, with your picture right here on my desk. newly amiss- the grandfather; was never a step- grandfather; since he's the only grandfather i ever knew and had. distant as it was, a root of your family dying always leave a dull ache. but blessed still i am; for a grandaunt and granduncle who are the best surrogate grandparents i can ask for.
life; in general, has been kind. through all the ups and downs, He never let me down, throw me aside. He seemed to always listen, as ungrateful and flawed as i am. He never gave up. thank you God for everything, and may the new year bring me closer to You.
the newest and possibly best addition of 2005; i guess the winner of this title needs no introduction. while future presence remains unknown, for the as many days he's been in my 2005, he made it most memorable. thanks for everything; for being a friend, a companion, a reading buddy, a partner, an equal, a source of constant laughter, gentle smiles, warm hugs, comfortable silences, soccer rivalry, witty repartee and lame jokes. maybe you were put in my life to make me happy for the rest of 2005... and that's it. and if so, i must say, you have succeeded. i can only hope this goes on forever- i've never been this happy in a long, long time. if i had one wish for 2006 it'll be for another year with you.
most importantly of course; i cannot forget this precious treasure of a blog; which has lasted me longer than all the men in my life combined. :) for all the hate- tags, blog- hoppers, and new friends (all you people reading this; :) you make me- here's my promise; i'll never leave you for livejournal, diaryland, blogsome, multiply, myspace or friendsterblogs. for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, i will love and cherish thee, till death do we part. or at least till i can't type anymore, all old and Alzheimer- ed.
now what else is there to do; but to welcome 2006 with a warm embrace.
i've been waiting for you.
happy new year, everyone. and here's to another 365 days of happiness and smiles.
Friday, December 30, 2005
module warfare
ok fine, so i STILL got out- bidded for one module. it was fine when i left it at 1, so that means these idiots bombed it at closed bidding. DIE YOU FUGGIN EEJITS, DIEEEEEEEEEE.
i will pom ALL my points on it come round 1B. watch out assholes.
so annoying. only CORS can bring out this viciousness in me.
anyway i got my notebook and pens. spent quite alot, but at least i'm prepared for school. full geek mode.
was in town with the boy when it started raining. as we ran to heeren, i was ahead of him, so he saw what happened.
all i saw was a flying slipper in front of my face then i fell hard on my hips. OUCH okay.
according to the boy, it was a sliding tackle from my right (he said it was a yellow card offence, but his 'studs' were possibly showing, so could be a straight red -_-), from this cheenabeng who suddenly did an about- turn and crashed into me. and his main concern was, "my slipper, my slipper!" before running off. -_- for the record, it was fake LV slippers. and its kinda permanently embedded in my memory, the way it flew across my face like that.
got a few cuts on the elbow and a bruise on the thigh. and that beng's elbow hit me hard at the back of my head and it made me woozy for abit. jeepers.
and most impressively, through it ALL, i never once let go of my packet of cheese balls and black pepper hot dog. in fact the minute we figured out i was okay, i checked to make sure they weren't wet, before proceeding to finish em' all up. it is quite phenomenal how the survival instincts of mankind makes you save what you prioritise most. apparently i was gripping the paper box quite tightly, and never once let it go throughout the whole thing, even when the boy had to lift me from my fall.
in other news, talk with advisor proved fruitful. now i can do one science and one arts for usp. thing is, it has to be a singapore studies. and if do an SS module next sem, it'll be with the maplek. that brings the tally of modules taken together up to a 3. uh- uh. NOT GOOD.
but if i take the module, it frees up my thursdays, cuz then my tuesdays will be jam- packed with tutorials. i really really like that. TWO FREE DAYS OKAY! baru namanye arts student kan... but taking 3 modules together with your boyfriend is unhealthy. anyone can tell you that. maybe i can try to not do the same tutorial slots with him. and umm sit with other people. yeahhhhh.
this might not be a moral dilemma to most but it is to ME okay. if i see him too often i will know too much and the bigger the pool, the higher the possibility of holes. okay, bad analogy, fiza not making sense. see the more i see of him, the higher the propensity will be, for me to get annoyed at him/ get bored of him/ get pissed at him. even though he is a very, very, very nice boy. aiyaaaa. kanasai la.
maya? any tips? haha. like, is there a maximum amount of modules you can do with your boyfriend? hahahhahahaha. ohmygod i am WEIRD.
the good thing will be having him around will make me more competitive. so yes. that's good. but i am still sticking with the earlier theory of see too much = know too much. really not a good idea. hmm. and this means of my 5 modules, 2 is done with dizzie, and 3 with him. UNHEALTHY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH.
after town with boy was dinner with mum at breeks! amk. got 15% discount cuz of slow service. hmm hmm. then in the train ride back i was reading the new paper for abit, but in the end it was pointless to try cuz i was busy texting the boy. and at the same time i was abit annoyed by the lady beside me who was reading over my shoulder. so i folded it and told my mum;
me: here keep it. menyebuk je la si mamak ni (so busybody this indian). *continues texting the maplek*
mum: *looks confused, but keeps it anyway*
me: ......
mum: HAHAAHAHAHA! (i'm serious, she just suddenly hahaha)
me: what?!?!
mum: i thought you meant the indians in this train, so i looked around.
me: -_- i meant suresh la!
mum: haha ya then i realized.
and then like that wasn't -_- enough.
mum: then after that i thought you meant the one beside you.
me: *pretends to look outside train by slowly turning her head to the left and discreetly looking at the lady beside her*
mum: i thought you meant her, cuz she was looking over at your paper also. then maybe you meant she so busybody so that's why you kept the paper.
me: haha no i meant suresh.
but anyway the woman was offended i guess. i really didn't mean her la. i thought she was chinese seh. who ask her to read over my paper? then i call my own maplek mamak also you think its you. see la see la. who eat curry, they feel the heat. AHAHAHA. ok la that's mean. but really lor. anyway i'm sure she got over it, and is busy drowning her sorrows in lots and lots of yummy sweet thairu, so all is good.
ok la. i want to read papers, read books, fondle my pretty new notebook (nyeahaha) and prep my new year's eve post.
my pretty red notebook.
come we all fondle together- gather. want?
er okay nevermind. seeeeeeeeeeeya.
ok fine, so i STILL got out- bidded for one module. it was fine when i left it at 1, so that means these idiots bombed it at closed bidding. DIE YOU FUGGIN EEJITS, DIEEEEEEEEEE.
i will pom ALL my points on it come round 1B. watch out assholes.
so annoying. only CORS can bring out this viciousness in me.
anyway i got my notebook and pens. spent quite alot, but at least i'm prepared for school. full geek mode.
was in town with the boy when it started raining. as we ran to heeren, i was ahead of him, so he saw what happened.
all i saw was a flying slipper in front of my face then i fell hard on my hips. OUCH okay.
according to the boy, it was a sliding tackle from my right (he said it was a yellow card offence, but his 'studs' were possibly showing, so could be a straight red -_-), from this cheenabeng who suddenly did an about- turn and crashed into me. and his main concern was, "my slipper, my slipper!" before running off. -_- for the record, it was fake LV slippers. and its kinda permanently embedded in my memory, the way it flew across my face like that.
got a few cuts on the elbow and a bruise on the thigh. and that beng's elbow hit me hard at the back of my head and it made me woozy for abit. jeepers.
and most impressively, through it ALL, i never once let go of my packet of cheese balls and black pepper hot dog. in fact the minute we figured out i was okay, i checked to make sure they weren't wet, before proceeding to finish em' all up. it is quite phenomenal how the survival instincts of mankind makes you save what you prioritise most. apparently i was gripping the paper box quite tightly, and never once let it go throughout the whole thing, even when the boy had to lift me from my fall.
*clap clap clap*
in other news, talk with advisor proved fruitful. now i can do one science and one arts for usp. thing is, it has to be a singapore studies. and if do an SS module next sem, it'll be with the maplek. that brings the tally of modules taken together up to a 3. uh- uh. NOT GOOD.
but if i take the module, it frees up my thursdays, cuz then my tuesdays will be jam- packed with tutorials. i really really like that. TWO FREE DAYS OKAY! baru namanye arts student kan... but taking 3 modules together with your boyfriend is unhealthy. anyone can tell you that. maybe i can try to not do the same tutorial slots with him. and umm sit with other people. yeahhhhh.
this might not be a moral dilemma to most but it is to ME okay. if i see him too often i will know too much and the bigger the pool, the higher the possibility of holes. okay, bad analogy, fiza not making sense. see the more i see of him, the higher the propensity will be, for me to get annoyed at him/ get bored of him/ get pissed at him. even though he is a very, very, very nice boy. aiyaaaa. kanasai la.
maya? any tips? haha. like, is there a maximum amount of modules you can do with your boyfriend? hahahhahahaha. ohmygod i am WEIRD.
the good thing will be having him around will make me more competitive. so yes. that's good. but i am still sticking with the earlier theory of see too much = know too much. really not a good idea. hmm. and this means of my 5 modules, 2 is done with dizzie, and 3 with him. UNHEALTHY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH.
after town with boy was dinner with mum at breeks! amk. got 15% discount cuz of slow service. hmm hmm. then in the train ride back i was reading the new paper for abit, but in the end it was pointless to try cuz i was busy texting the boy. and at the same time i was abit annoyed by the lady beside me who was reading over my shoulder. so i folded it and told my mum;
me: here keep it. menyebuk je la si mamak ni (so busybody this indian). *continues texting the maplek*
mum: *looks confused, but keeps it anyway*
me: ......
mum: HAHAAHAHAHA! (i'm serious, she just suddenly hahaha)
me: what?!?!
mum: i thought you meant the indians in this train, so i looked around.
me: -_- i meant suresh la!
mum: haha ya then i realized.
and then like that wasn't -_- enough.
mum: then after that i thought you meant the one beside you.
me: *pretends to look outside train by slowly turning her head to the left and discreetly looking at the lady beside her*
mum: i thought you meant her, cuz she was looking over at your paper also. then maybe you meant she so busybody so that's why you kept the paper.
me: haha no i meant suresh.
but anyway the woman was offended i guess. i really didn't mean her la. i thought she was chinese seh. who ask her to read over my paper? then i call my own maplek mamak also you think its you. see la see la. who eat curry, they feel the heat. AHAHAHA. ok la that's mean. but really lor. anyway i'm sure she got over it, and is busy drowning her sorrows in lots and lots of yummy sweet thairu, so all is good.
ok la. i want to read papers, read books, fondle my pretty new notebook (nyeahaha) and prep my new year's eve post.
my pretty red notebook.
come we all fondle together- gather. want?
er okay nevermind. seeeeeeeeeeeya.
we love brazil
don't you?
anyway hafiz texted me earlier to tell me he has to cover duty for someone or something. so today's date is cancelled. PROBLEM is he texted too early and now i'm awake and am just a sitting duck, nervous as hell for my advisor meeting later. wah laoooooooooo. i want to go back to sleep.
so now i've checked all my e- mail accounts, checked my bidding on CORS, tried reading, and no, i can't can't can't stay calm. hafizzzzzzzz you eejit.
i don't really know why i'm nervous also la but i just AM okay. i never really got into trouble in school before. not like i am now but... AIYAAAAAAAA. nervous la can. i am kental ok? i don't like meeting teachers.
sighhhhhhhhh. maybe i should make a date with SOMEONE after the meeting. that way i will have something to mentally distract me. nyehhhhh.
ok still nervous. this is so pointless.
and RINNY! was that why there were flashes while me and the maplek ate? HAHA. paparazzi indeeeeeeed. anyway apparently alot of people get excited when they see us or something. ^_- which confuses me, cuz we're not THAT elusive you know. anti- social, yes, a little, but not elusive. we're kinda public too so umm... oh well whatever makes you happy. that said if i see someone sneaking peeks at us behind a newspaper i will start freaking out okay. so don't. if needs be, come up to us and say hi and though we might be amused cuz we don't know you, its better than the whole glancing- every- few- seconds thing, and wayyyyyy better than the sneaking peeks thang.
ooh that distracted me for a few seconds. okay should do something else. nyeaaaaaaaaah.
oh i keep getting this terrible dream. some japanese or thai woman gives away her son cuz he is her illegetimate child, but he has down syndrome? or something like that la. then she is some performing lady (think geisha) so something like she always knew all along eventually she has to give the kid away. and i've dreamt of her giving the kid away THREE bloody times and each time it is SO DAMN SAD and i cry and cry in the dream. huh.
then i had another dream also. last night. me and the minah sisterhood went to chiang mai. but we landed in the middle of some field. rice field? ya. apparently we were travelling in a space ship and it broke down. umphhhhh. ya. then we had to hitchhike a van that was very uncomfortable. and somewhere in there there were elephants. that's about all i can remember.
if dreams were any benchmark to go by, i'd be in IMH a long time ago.
don't you?
anyway hafiz texted me earlier to tell me he has to cover duty for someone or something. so today's date is cancelled. PROBLEM is he texted too early and now i'm awake and am just a sitting duck, nervous as hell for my advisor meeting later. wah laoooooooooo. i want to go back to sleep.
so now i've checked all my e- mail accounts, checked my bidding on CORS, tried reading, and no, i can't can't can't stay calm. hafizzzzzzzz you eejit.
i don't really know why i'm nervous also la but i just AM okay. i never really got into trouble in school before. not like i am now but... AIYAAAAAAAA. nervous la can. i am kental ok? i don't like meeting teachers.
sighhhhhhhhh. maybe i should make a date with SOMEONE after the meeting. that way i will have something to mentally distract me. nyehhhhh.
ok still nervous. this is so pointless.
and RINNY! was that why there were flashes while me and the maplek ate? HAHA. paparazzi indeeeeeeed. anyway apparently alot of people get excited when they see us or something. ^_- which confuses me, cuz we're not THAT elusive you know. anti- social, yes, a little, but not elusive. we're kinda public too so umm... oh well whatever makes you happy. that said if i see someone sneaking peeks at us behind a newspaper i will start freaking out okay. so don't. if needs be, come up to us and say hi and though we might be amused cuz we don't know you, its better than the whole glancing- every- few- seconds thing, and wayyyyyy better than the sneaking peeks thang.
ooh that distracted me for a few seconds. okay should do something else. nyeaaaaaaaaah.
oh i keep getting this terrible dream. some japanese or thai woman gives away her son cuz he is her illegetimate child, but he has down syndrome? or something like that la. then she is some performing lady (think geisha) so something like she always knew all along eventually she has to give the kid away. and i've dreamt of her giving the kid away THREE bloody times and each time it is SO DAMN SAD and i cry and cry in the dream. huh.
then i had another dream also. last night. me and the minah sisterhood went to chiang mai. but we landed in the middle of some field. rice field? ya. apparently we were travelling in a space ship and it broke down. umphhhhh. ya. then we had to hitchhike a van that was very uncomfortable. and somewhere in there there were elephants. that's about all i can remember.
if dreams were any benchmark to go by, i'd be in IMH a long time ago.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
sweet, sweet baby
i got my head into quite a muddle watching Law & Order, SVU and reading connelly's the poet at the same time. i first read the book 5 years ago, and it was lovely to re- read his classic. at the same time knowing the ending spoilt it a little for me but at least i don't remember it exactly. god bless my bad memory.
on the OTHER hand watching L & O SVU was pretty stressful cuz 20 minutes into the show i was screaming the BOSS! the BOSS! but of course they can't hear me la. but if you guys did watch it, you would know i am right. the boss raped tandi mccain. I SHOULD BE A DETECTIVE LOR.
anyway spent the whole day at home recuperating, as the boy puts it. i had barely recovered before yesterday's beach trip, so today would be good for some proper, solid rest. tomorrow i meet my USP advisor to clear up some niggling questions, then i got a date with hafiz lim. then saturdayyyyyyyy i have a whole day to spend with the best boy in the world.
now ain't that a plan. and next week! i start running at macritchie with dizzie. now isn't that a BRILLIANT way to start the new year.
school will start soon too; and things to buy- 4- subject notebook, MORE pens (they always run out JUST before exams, dammit), maybe a new pencil case, and if i can get a good buy, a new school bag. and of course, i must thing of outfit for first day of school. call me cheesy but that's one of my most precious tradition since entering NUS. shoot me.
aaaah have i mentioned how much i like my boyfriend? i'm sorry. it gets annoying, i know. haha.
i just hope nothing terrible happens between now and saturday. 2005 has been brilliant so far. its almost magical how things took such a good turn towards the end. even with all the slip- ups i must say the year has been better than expected.
hope this run of good luck spreads into the new year.
can't wait to bake brownies for the boy and have them at the stroke of midnight, basked in fireworks. i'm getting all excited already. :))
sayaaaaaaaaaang my boipren.
nyeahahaha.
liverpool is 4 points behind man u, with two games in hand. now when even the EPL is working with you for a brilliant end to the year, you know you've got it good.
and with his late goal against manchester city last night, it seems joe cole's got it good, too. hmm.
too good, maybe.
i got my head into quite a muddle watching Law & Order, SVU and reading connelly's the poet at the same time. i first read the book 5 years ago, and it was lovely to re- read his classic. at the same time knowing the ending spoilt it a little for me but at least i don't remember it exactly. god bless my bad memory.
on the OTHER hand watching L & O SVU was pretty stressful cuz 20 minutes into the show i was screaming the BOSS! the BOSS! but of course they can't hear me la. but if you guys did watch it, you would know i am right. the boss raped tandi mccain. I SHOULD BE A DETECTIVE LOR.
anyway spent the whole day at home recuperating, as the boy puts it. i had barely recovered before yesterday's beach trip, so today would be good for some proper, solid rest. tomorrow i meet my USP advisor to clear up some niggling questions, then i got a date with hafiz lim. then saturdayyyyyyyy i have a whole day to spend with the best boy in the world.
now ain't that a plan. and next week! i start running at macritchie with dizzie. now isn't that a BRILLIANT way to start the new year.
school will start soon too; and things to buy- 4- subject notebook, MORE pens (they always run out JUST before exams, dammit), maybe a new pencil case, and if i can get a good buy, a new school bag. and of course, i must thing of outfit for first day of school. call me cheesy but that's one of my most precious tradition since entering NUS. shoot me.
aaaah have i mentioned how much i like my boyfriend? i'm sorry. it gets annoying, i know. haha.
i just hope nothing terrible happens between now and saturday. 2005 has been brilliant so far. its almost magical how things took such a good turn towards the end. even with all the slip- ups i must say the year has been better than expected.
hope this run of good luck spreads into the new year.
can't wait to bake brownies for the boy and have them at the stroke of midnight, basked in fireworks. i'm getting all excited already. :))
sayaaaaaaaaaang my boipren.
nyeahahaha.
liverpool is 4 points behind man u, with two games in hand. now when even the EPL is working with you for a brilliant end to the year, you know you've got it good.
and with his late goal against manchester city last night, it seems joe cole's got it good, too. hmm.
too good, maybe.
knock out
met the boy at 9 in the morning, then it was sentosa! whee! sun was erratic. at times it got covered but most of the time i got my fair share on sunshine. spent the hours lazing away in the sea, talking and laughing. peanut butter sandwiches, and then some.
once again, the book was relegated, and an easy flow of conversation took centrestage. everything and anything was talked about.
once it got too crowded we decided that hey, we've had our fun. so we changed up and went to harbourfront food centre, where he got his 'spicy' food from the malay stall, and i got my chicken chop. happy days!
i don't want you to leave.
i didn't say i was going to.
but you will eventually!
yea... eventually...
why?
cuz you said i have to leave.
i didn't say that!
okay la then i don't leave.
but one day you have to leave what.
SEE???
:D i like this boy. and that line is like a song i can sing everyday, at the top of my lungs for the world to hear.
never before, someone makes me feel as if happiness is possibly oozing from my every pores. each time you bend down to listen me, smile at me, make any move at all, towards me, i feel all nice and warm, that someone likes me that much. and i know you like me. you're the only guy i've been with that i can reassuredly know, likes me, just by the way you look at me. we don't have the sweet nothings, you don't do flowers, we don't have much else except for each other, and that is the most blessed thing ever.
then it was a train ride back. and the minute i got home, i barely had time to take out my contacts before crashing in bed.
woke up once when mum came in saying something, probably about food, went to pee, went back to bed, woke up again, checked the time, was 1.47 a.m. so i decided to go back to sleep and wake up at 3.40 a.m., for the merseyside derby. :))
liverpool leading 2- 1, but its everton, so gimme a 5- 1 y'all.
alright back to soccer. be good now all of you. 2005 is coming to an end. end your days with a bang, i say.
met the boy at 9 in the morning, then it was sentosa! whee! sun was erratic. at times it got covered but most of the time i got my fair share on sunshine. spent the hours lazing away in the sea, talking and laughing. peanut butter sandwiches, and then some.
once again, the book was relegated, and an easy flow of conversation took centrestage. everything and anything was talked about.
once it got too crowded we decided that hey, we've had our fun. so we changed up and went to harbourfront food centre, where he got his 'spicy' food from the malay stall, and i got my chicken chop. happy days!
i don't want you to leave.
i didn't say i was going to.
but you will eventually!
yea... eventually...
why?
cuz you said i have to leave.
i didn't say that!
okay la then i don't leave.
but one day you have to leave what.
SEE???
:D i like this boy. and that line is like a song i can sing everyday, at the top of my lungs for the world to hear.
never before, someone makes me feel as if happiness is possibly oozing from my every pores. each time you bend down to listen me, smile at me, make any move at all, towards me, i feel all nice and warm, that someone likes me that much. and i know you like me. you're the only guy i've been with that i can reassuredly know, likes me, just by the way you look at me. we don't have the sweet nothings, you don't do flowers, we don't have much else except for each other, and that is the most blessed thing ever.
then it was a train ride back. and the minute i got home, i barely had time to take out my contacts before crashing in bed.
woke up once when mum came in saying something, probably about food, went to pee, went back to bed, woke up again, checked the time, was 1.47 a.m. so i decided to go back to sleep and wake up at 3.40 a.m., for the merseyside derby. :))
liverpool leading 2- 1, but its everton, so gimme a 5- 1 y'all.
alright back to soccer. be good now all of you. 2005 is coming to an end. end your days with a bang, i say.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
and i could not ask for more...
lovely lovely day.
feeling unwell still, but slightly better after the miracle that is panadol. so met the boy at yio chu kang and took the train to dhoby for pasta lunch at plaza singapura. then we decided that i am not up for a walk- about in town, so it was 16 to east coast. :))
yeahhhhh, in the rain. haha. we got there just as the sky heaved, so we got nice shelter at coffee bean, and kept ourselves warm with a hot cuppa of vanilla latte. yum.
what's to be yummed about is actually the company. just easy chatter, like a free flow of words, tumbling and pouring and surging through, always blending seamlessly for another lovely, wordy afternoon. thank you.
what's FUNNY is the two minahs beside our table who kept staring at us. upon sitting, one of them (she'll be M1) nudged the other to look at us. so the other minah (let's call her M2) stared at my dear boy. and i looked up and saw M1 (hahaha like the phoneline!) staring at me. but whatever. and later on they were eavesdropping on my conversation, whereby i was telling the boy about how me and faidzal ended.
i made it a point to say, "aiya typical malay boy la, know you for 2 weeks want to get married already. but i know some minahs like that," and look pointedly at them. then they started having their own conversation. -_- think i entertainment centre issit, provide doss for your goss?
ignore that.
anyway before we left i asked the boy, "got 50 cents?" he said yes and started reaching for his wallet when i said, "oh no la not for me. for the donation box there beside you. new charity drive, drop a coin in the coin slot."
i was talking about M2's buttcrack. to my credit she barely heard (or understood?) me. hoo well. i'm cool with a HINT of a buttcrack, but if the ENTIRE thing is showing, babe, you're proving belts redundant. geli tau nampak pantat orang.
then when the rain stopped we decided to take a walk... a nice languid stroll basking in the dank, post- rain air. cool sea breeze, long fingers twined in mine. then a nice little dry bench, where we sat and just talked. one of the rare moments where we just be a couple. :) i like these rare moments.
then a walk back where he told me army stories, i told him jc stories... just lotsa yammering. the books we brought for company was left unread in my bag, saved for the next beach outing. which is hopefully tomorrow, if the weather cooperates.
oh dear. i just remembered the chocolate i bought him is still with me. ah well. tomorrow then.
took a cab down to ang mo kio, then the train back. our days are numbered. soon it'll be school. and this semester, i'm not allowed to slack at all. i've got a few breathing down my neck, so i promise i'll make it good. promise!
2006 beckons, and as excited as i am, i am tentative. another year, another 12 more months. more to happen. i say we wait and see.
but i hope some things don't change. days like today, for example, should go on and on forever.
I could not ask for more than this time together
lovely lovely day.
feeling unwell still, but slightly better after the miracle that is panadol. so met the boy at yio chu kang and took the train to dhoby for pasta lunch at plaza singapura. then we decided that i am not up for a walk- about in town, so it was 16 to east coast. :))
yeahhhhh, in the rain. haha. we got there just as the sky heaved, so we got nice shelter at coffee bean, and kept ourselves warm with a hot cuppa of vanilla latte. yum.
what's to be yummed about is actually the company. just easy chatter, like a free flow of words, tumbling and pouring and surging through, always blending seamlessly for another lovely, wordy afternoon. thank you.
what's FUNNY is the two minahs beside our table who kept staring at us. upon sitting, one of them (she'll be M1) nudged the other to look at us. so the other minah (let's call her M2) stared at my dear boy. and i looked up and saw M1 (hahaha like the phoneline!) staring at me. but whatever. and later on they were eavesdropping on my conversation, whereby i was telling the boy about how me and faidzal ended.
i made it a point to say, "aiya typical malay boy la, know you for 2 weeks want to get married already. but i know some minahs like that," and look pointedly at them. then they started having their own conversation. -_- think i entertainment centre issit, provide doss for your goss?
ignore that.
anyway before we left i asked the boy, "got 50 cents?" he said yes and started reaching for his wallet when i said, "oh no la not for me. for the donation box there beside you. new charity drive, drop a coin in the coin slot."
i was talking about M2's buttcrack. to my credit she barely heard (or understood?) me. hoo well. i'm cool with a HINT of a buttcrack, but if the ENTIRE thing is showing, babe, you're proving belts redundant. geli tau nampak pantat orang.
then when the rain stopped we decided to take a walk... a nice languid stroll basking in the dank, post- rain air. cool sea breeze, long fingers twined in mine. then a nice little dry bench, where we sat and just talked. one of the rare moments where we just be a couple. :) i like these rare moments.
then a walk back where he told me army stories, i told him jc stories... just lotsa yammering. the books we brought for company was left unread in my bag, saved for the next beach outing. which is hopefully tomorrow, if the weather cooperates.
oh dear. i just remembered the chocolate i bought him is still with me. ah well. tomorrow then.
took a cab down to ang mo kio, then the train back. our days are numbered. soon it'll be school. and this semester, i'm not allowed to slack at all. i've got a few breathing down my neck, so i promise i'll make it good. promise!
2006 beckons, and as excited as i am, i am tentative. another year, another 12 more months. more to happen. i say we wait and see.
but i hope some things don't change. days like today, for example, should go on and on forever.
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had's come true
Yeah, right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
I Could Not Ask For More; Sara Evans
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had's come true
Yeah, right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me
I Could Not Ask For More; Sara Evans
sick and tired.
hafiz lim birthday thing was a blast.
a bunch of us shared in and i bought him the iPod Shuffle he's wanted since forever. well now you have it boy. though it was damn mafan for me to message everyone and FIND that godforsaken thing. apparently only audio house at liang court has it. courts amk and causeway didn't, apple funan didn't, apple orchard didn't. what a wild goosechase.
my dearest suresh accompanied me throughout the dinner and though he didn't understand what we were yammering about half the time, the times he did he laughed and smiled, and that's what matters. :)
we got new books, both of us. happy children of god we are. nick hornby how to be good, and harlan coben's the innocent. yes i was quite whiny over mph's lack of connellys but 20% off, i'd take what i can get. :D
will be meeting him tomorrow. when and where don't matter right now. i am so happy to have him.
i am sick sick sick. no not like that, but for real. blocked nose, warm face, the works. very tired now. oughta get some shut eye before i meet him tomorrow. this sick, plus lack of sleep, i'm bound to look like crap.
and honestly, the look on his face when he saw the gift was enough to alleviate the harrowing hunt for the Shuffle. lim, if you read this, i meant every word. be happy. that's all i want.
ok and maybe an iPod mini. ;) green please.
hafiz lim birthday thing was a blast.
a bunch of us shared in and i bought him the iPod Shuffle he's wanted since forever. well now you have it boy. though it was damn mafan for me to message everyone and FIND that godforsaken thing. apparently only audio house at liang court has it. courts amk and causeway didn't, apple funan didn't, apple orchard didn't. what a wild goosechase.
my dearest suresh accompanied me throughout the dinner and though he didn't understand what we were yammering about half the time, the times he did he laughed and smiled, and that's what matters. :)
we got new books, both of us. happy children of god we are. nick hornby how to be good, and harlan coben's the innocent. yes i was quite whiny over mph's lack of connellys but 20% off, i'd take what i can get. :D
will be meeting him tomorrow. when and where don't matter right now. i am so happy to have him.
i am sick sick sick. no not like that, but for real. blocked nose, warm face, the works. very tired now. oughta get some shut eye before i meet him tomorrow. this sick, plus lack of sleep, i'm bound to look like crap.
and honestly, the look on his face when he saw the gift was enough to alleviate the harrowing hunt for the Shuffle. lim, if you read this, i meant every word. be happy. that's all i want.
ok and maybe an iPod mini. ;) green please.
Monday, December 26, 2005
what the hell la. i am so pissed now cuz suresh got the module he wanted for pre- allocation and i didn't. i didn't get BOTH my pre- allocation. what the fuck? what is wrong with the world? it seems as though whenever it comes to NUS the shit keeps cometh and never stops pouring.
then i end up with shitty modules, and we alllllllllll wonder why my CAP is like shit. FUCK LA. BLOODY IRRITATING YOU KNOW. can you BLOODY give me the modules i want!?!?!??!?! rubbish.
its an indian thing. i am sure it is.
and the worst bit is if i don't get the 2 modules i want (that i've missed during pre- alloc), one of my back- up modules has the maplek's EX in it, who doesn't know we're together... and i am not even going to START on how nyeh and kapish and freruihjgersuiwjgnrsjjid that is.
i hate nus. hate hate hate.
then i end up with shitty modules, and we alllllllllll wonder why my CAP is like shit. FUCK LA. BLOODY IRRITATING YOU KNOW. can you BLOODY give me the modules i want!?!?!??!?! rubbish.
its an indian thing. i am sure it is.
and the worst bit is if i don't get the 2 modules i want (that i've missed during pre- alloc), one of my back- up modules has the maplek's EX in it, who doesn't know we're together... and i am not even going to START on how nyeh and kapish and freruihjgersuiwjgnrsjjid that is.
i hate nus. hate hate hate.
we're gonna paaaaaaaartay
hafiz lim birthday thingy- thingy is tonight. be there or be square. but ya la, i know he didn't invite alot of people also so all those who heard of it from here, its not cuz he doesn't like you, we had to make sure the group was a bunch of people everyone can get along with. yes, pjc politics hardly leaves the coop.
BUT all that aside, a party is a party is a party and a girl's gotta dress up and bring a gift.
anyway i think today is the first time pjc people will be meeting my boyfriend too. jeng jeng jeng.
i am very excited. i don't know why.
well see you guys layyyyyyyytaaaaaaaa. pictures promise only if hana brings her camera. mine is still under construction at canon. tralalalalala.
hafiz lim birthday thingy- thingy is tonight. be there or be square. but ya la, i know he didn't invite alot of people also so all those who heard of it from here, its not cuz he doesn't like you, we had to make sure the group was a bunch of people everyone can get along with. yes, pjc politics hardly leaves the coop.
BUT all that aside, a party is a party is a party and a girl's gotta dress up and bring a gift.
anyway i think today is the first time pjc people will be meeting my boyfriend too. jeng jeng jeng.
i am very excited. i don't know why.
well see you guys layyyyyyyytaaaaaaaa. pictures promise only if hana brings her camera. mine is still under construction at canon. tralalalalala.
domestic squabbles?
i am an african elephun says:
i am going to change you into an elephant
i am an african elephun says:
and marry you
i am an african elephun says:
and let you cheat on me with an elephant
i am an african elephun says:
so that i can get a baby elephant...
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
you'll make a good story teller you know
i am an african elephun says:
*curtseys*
i am an african elephun says:
thank you.
i am an african elephun says:
then i can ride you to town.
i am an african elephun says:
then you cannot enter borders
i am an african elephun says:
so i tie you to a tree.
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
i'm elephant can
i am an african elephun says:
tsk...
SuReSh says:
i'll pull down the tree
i am an african elephun says:
but you're a nice gentle loving elephant.
i am an african elephun says:
TSK!
i am an african elephun says:
won't you wait for me if i go into borders if you were an elephant married to me??????
SuReSh says:
ok fine!
SuReSh says:
but must get me a book too
ahh. such charming domestic bliss.
i am an african elephun says:
i am going to change you into an elephant
i am an african elephun says:
and marry you
i am an african elephun says:
and let you cheat on me with an elephant
i am an african elephun says:
so that i can get a baby elephant...
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
you'll make a good story teller you know
i am an african elephun says:
*curtseys*
i am an african elephun says:
thank you.
i am an african elephun says:
then i can ride you to town.
i am an african elephun says:
then you cannot enter borders
i am an african elephun says:
so i tie you to a tree.
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
i'm elephant can
i am an african elephun says:
tsk...
SuReSh says:
i'll pull down the tree
i am an african elephun says:
but you're a nice gentle loving elephant.
i am an african elephun says:
TSK!
i am an african elephun says:
won't you wait for me if i go into borders if you were an elephant married to me??????
SuReSh says:
ok fine!
SuReSh says:
but must get me a book too
ahh. such charming domestic bliss.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
its over
as of last sunday, i had 3 unfinished books.
as of NOW, i got no more books to read. time to attack secondhand bookstores.
why oh why can't i find a rich boyfriend? a sugar daddy, perhaps? or the heir to borders? even times. i don't mind times too. kinokuniya and mph will be last resort.
but really. i wish i can stretch my books. with the connelly he just bought me last sunday, i tried to pace myself... i started on it thursday night after much deliberation. and i even tried not to read it too often in the train. i tried to stretch it as long as i could... and yet the savouring is over. i'm empty again. :(
but the book is so GOOD. i found myself sitting up straighter and straighter as we got to the end and i have this bad habit of tapping my toes when i read in bed and as the story got more exciting the tapping rhythm increased. hahaha. connelly's work are such a big part of me now that i can almost see in the eye of my mind, his hero harry bosch, his house, the LAPD, the different buildings. i walk through LA just reading his book. i can even imagine crime scenes too, thanks to C.S.I.
and of course when the story gets more exciting, i get more excited and read even faster and sometimes i have to try so HARD to refrain myself at glancing at the next page of the open book when i'm still reading the previous page. cuz just a word, a name, could give the story away and i would know the rest before even getting there.
and as always, i derive great pleasure when i my suspicions are proven right, and the guy i suspected from the start turned out to be the killer. :D suresh said that makes the reading boring but to me that's the incentive, to read on and see if i'm right. ha!
hadi will vouch how good i am at this. for both the scream movies we watched, i guessed the murderer 10 minutes into the movie. i would love to delve and share the secrets and tips right now but i think i should get some sleep before my body clock goes all wonky.
in other news, still nothing from the boy in PD and its making me a wee bit worried. i don't see any reason for silence unless he's asleep the whole day, he lost his charger (irresponsible and therefore extremely unlikely of him) and can't charge his phone, he's driving (the WHOLE day, yes i'm stretching the reality to make myself feel better here) or something like that. i really hope everything is fine. one of these days I'M going overseas and will reply his messages 3 hours later just so he knows what he puts me through each vacation. pfft.
and yes i know, it has only been one vacation break.
as of last sunday, i had 3 unfinished books.
as of NOW, i got no more books to read. time to attack secondhand bookstores.
why oh why can't i find a rich boyfriend? a sugar daddy, perhaps? or the heir to borders? even times. i don't mind times too. kinokuniya and mph will be last resort.
but really. i wish i can stretch my books. with the connelly he just bought me last sunday, i tried to pace myself... i started on it thursday night after much deliberation. and i even tried not to read it too often in the train. i tried to stretch it as long as i could... and yet the savouring is over. i'm empty again. :(
but the book is so GOOD. i found myself sitting up straighter and straighter as we got to the end and i have this bad habit of tapping my toes when i read in bed and as the story got more exciting the tapping rhythm increased. hahaha. connelly's work are such a big part of me now that i can almost see in the eye of my mind, his hero harry bosch, his house, the LAPD, the different buildings. i walk through LA just reading his book. i can even imagine crime scenes too, thanks to C.S.I.
and of course when the story gets more exciting, i get more excited and read even faster and sometimes i have to try so HARD to refrain myself at glancing at the next page of the open book when i'm still reading the previous page. cuz just a word, a name, could give the story away and i would know the rest before even getting there.
and as always, i derive great pleasure when i my suspicions are proven right, and the guy i suspected from the start turned out to be the killer. :D suresh said that makes the reading boring but to me that's the incentive, to read on and see if i'm right. ha!
hadi will vouch how good i am at this. for both the scream movies we watched, i guessed the murderer 10 minutes into the movie. i would love to delve and share the secrets and tips right now but i think i should get some sleep before my body clock goes all wonky.
in other news, still nothing from the boy in PD and its making me a wee bit worried. i don't see any reason for silence unless he's asleep the whole day, he lost his charger (irresponsible and therefore extremely unlikely of him) and can't charge his phone, he's driving (the WHOLE day, yes i'm stretching the reality to make myself feel better here) or something like that. i really hope everything is fine. one of these days I'M going overseas and will reply his messages 3 hours later just so he knows what he puts me through each vacation. pfft.
and yes i know, it has only been one vacation break.
what's the story, morning glory?
I'LL tell you the bloody story. the story is OASIS is coming down here, to little island singapore, on feb. 23rd, for a ONE NIGHT ONLY gig and if i MISS i'd be suicidal. i'm thinking of going for free- standing $98 tickets. all in favour say AYE!
another story would be the one where fiza is so bored on christmas eve as she chats to dizzie she keeps saying, "i think i don't like suresh anymore" and "i think i wanna break up with him," making dizzie conclude that, i'm "so scary when i'm bored."
the other one would be when fiza realizes she just misses her boyfriend alot and that is due to the fact that he has only texted her ONCE the whole day; causing her gradual rise from annoyance to self- pity to overwhelmingly missing him to slight worry to the current bo chapness. its all good as long as it always comes down to bo chappppp.
then there's the one where fiza is psyched for school to start cuz she can't wait to pull up her WRETCHED, wretched C.A.P.
and of course, school shopping. notebooks, pens, pencil case and school bags galore!
happily sipping my warm mug of honey water. i love honey. dizzie says i'm like pooh. cuz i cheered up relatively, after having a spoonful of honey and making myself a honey drink. pfft. pooh is a bear, i am an elephun.
oh last night i told hana what i want my kids to look like. and then i contemplated more. here goes.
boo, from monsters inc.
a baby elephun.
a baby penguin.
sunny, from lemony snickett's series of unfortunate events.
who doesn't want a maddox? but damn jolie is hot.
pebbles flinstone.
don't ask me the cause of this bizzarreness, though i'm inclined to blame that trip to the zoo. and too much silver screen expose.
but GOSH i would love a baby elephun. and don't ask me why i spell it that way, it just sounds nicer. more airy- fairy. aiya whatever la. elephant sounds so penyek (flattened), i don't like.
another thing i don't like.
ayam penyet, literally meaning smashed/ flattened chicken.
and NO, no matter how many billion people telling me it taste GOOD, i am NOT eating ayam eksiden okay? no WAY.
*ayam eksiden- roadkill. hereby being a chicken.
I'LL tell you the bloody story. the story is OASIS is coming down here, to little island singapore, on feb. 23rd, for a ONE NIGHT ONLY gig and if i MISS i'd be suicidal. i'm thinking of going for free- standing $98 tickets. all in favour say AYE!
another story would be the one where fiza is so bored on christmas eve as she chats to dizzie she keeps saying, "i think i don't like suresh anymore" and "i think i wanna break up with him," making dizzie conclude that, i'm "so scary when i'm bored."
the other one would be when fiza realizes she just misses her boyfriend alot and that is due to the fact that he has only texted her ONCE the whole day; causing her gradual rise from annoyance to self- pity to overwhelmingly missing him to slight worry to the current bo chapness. its all good as long as it always comes down to bo chappppp.
then there's the one where fiza is psyched for school to start cuz she can't wait to pull up her WRETCHED, wretched C.A.P.
and of course, school shopping. notebooks, pens, pencil case and school bags galore!
happily sipping my warm mug of honey water. i love honey. dizzie says i'm like pooh. cuz i cheered up relatively, after having a spoonful of honey and making myself a honey drink. pfft. pooh is a bear, i am an elephun.
oh last night i told hana what i want my kids to look like. and then i contemplated more. here goes.
boo, from monsters inc.
a baby elephun.
a baby penguin.
sunny, from lemony snickett's series of unfortunate events.
who doesn't want a maddox? but damn jolie is hot.
pebbles flinstone.
don't ask me the cause of this bizzarreness, though i'm inclined to blame that trip to the zoo. and too much silver screen expose.
but GOSH i would love a baby elephun. and don't ask me why i spell it that way, it just sounds nicer. more airy- fairy. aiya whatever la. elephant sounds so penyek (flattened), i don't like.
another thing i don't like.
ayam penyet, literally meaning smashed/ flattened chicken.
and NO, no matter how many billion people telling me it taste GOOD, i am NOT eating ayam eksiden okay? no WAY.
*ayam eksiden- roadkill. hereby being a chicken.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
oh well
i can't sleep yet. so here goes.
case of the ex (es).
its the animal, the animal, the animat instiiiiiiiiinct...
the giant crocodile head floating above the water btw, is ALFIE. the crazy ass huge croc. and the first pic of the camel is actually quite funny, cuz the smiling camel, is looking up his friend's ASS. that's SO gay.
lizards are lesbians.
we are elephuns.
the oh- so- regal bengal white tiger. phwoaaaaaar.
town the horse.
if you're wondering how i know the names of some of these animals, its cuz i worked at the zoo once. long story.
you can't really see it here but i actually look pained, cuz camels shit are THE SMELLIEST piece of crap.
feeling- feeling want to be crocodile can.
i'm bigger than a pygmy hippo! :D
okay almost done here...
yay!
okay for real now. GOODNIGHT.
i can't sleep yet. so here goes.
case of the ex (es).
its the animal, the animal, the animat instiiiiiiiiinct...
the giant crocodile head floating above the water btw, is ALFIE. the crazy ass huge croc. and the first pic of the camel is actually quite funny, cuz the smiling camel, is looking up his friend's ASS. that's SO gay.
lizards are lesbians.
we are elephuns.
the oh- so- regal bengal white tiger. phwoaaaaaar.
town the horse.
if you're wondering how i know the names of some of these animals, its cuz i worked at the zoo once. long story.
you can't really see it here but i actually look pained, cuz camels shit are THE SMELLIEST piece of crap.
feeling- feeling want to be crocodile can.
i'm bigger than a pygmy hippo! :D
okay almost done here...
yay!
okay for real now. GOODNIGHT.
i just got back HOME.
yes. just.
yesterday was town, sara, coffee, cheesecake, connelly, esplanade, mum, walk, chat... then hana's, movies, photo uploading (ahemmm), yak yak, macs admiralty, breakfast, big gulp, bench, park, yak yak, sleepy, walk, home.
sleep.
to keep you going, i promise you pictures. loads of it. its ridiculous. i think i'd do animals, exes, then the rest. there you go.
ok good night. i am sick.
yes. just.
yesterday was town, sara, coffee, cheesecake, connelly, esplanade, mum, walk, chat... then hana's, movies, photo uploading (ahemmm), yak yak, macs admiralty, breakfast, big gulp, bench, park, yak yak, sleepy, walk, home.
sleep.
to keep you going, i promise you pictures. loads of it. its ridiculous. i think i'd do animals, exes, then the rest. there you go.
ok good night. i am sick.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
a solemn affair
to my dearest friend, nazreen.
your loss reminded you of mine, and in your pain and through your tears you asked how i did it. thing is, my dear, i never did it. i just continued stumbling and falling and picking myself up till i got to where i am. there really is nothing else we can do. life, goes on, even when its last breath is whiffed off a loved one.
your loss reminds me of mine. but no two losses are the same, it never is. with every loss comes fresh tears, new wounds, another consuming pain, wondering how you can ever go on. and then somehow, you just do.
today i cry for you; i mourn the loss of a father, a husband, a friend, a partner, a companion.
today i cry for you; for the father who will never see you graduate, who will never scold you for staying out past your curfew, who will never marry you off, who will never hold your child gently in his arms and teach that child to call him "grandpa".
today i cry for all that you've lost, that i myself lost so long ago.
(dated 23rd Mar. 04')
"sometimes when it's really late at night, i'll remember. like a sudden flashback; those you see in the movies.
first it'll be him on the hospital bed. me in the visitor's lounge watching TV. then he's back home & all seems fine & dandy. then months later he feels some pain & we all took a cab down to NUH. he walks & talks & IS JUST very well. very alive. but he is admitted to that emergency room. not a a small clinic thing or cubicle or meet a doctor & talk & stuff. no he goes to the emergency room. he WALKS in. walks in as you would walk to the toilet or to a room or a supermarket. he lies there as the doctors work on him. he is alive, his eyes are open. he talks. smiles a little, a tiny wave. then the door closes. my mum & me went to eat some dinner. when we came back, the nurses were frantic. they were looking for my mum & they immediately bustled my mum into that stupid emergency room.
he is screaming. i heard him. he was screaming. i don't know if it was pain or fear but he was screaming. i never heard him scream before. he was always strong, always silent & just there. strong. he screamed for my mum. it was real. my mum went in. in a while she comes out. then she goes in again to take his clothes that has been cut off him. they were blood- soaked. he had vomitted blood. real blood. and this blood is choking him & he can't breathe. my mum faints & she is put in a wheelchair. i see my world, i see my family, falling apart right before my eyes. it was like a typhoon sweeping up each & every last bits of my family. the doctor says they need to operate on him. he has lost consciousness. he's in a coma. only minutes, maybe an hour ago, he was WALKING. & TALKING. i should have slapped the doctor. killed him. pounced on his back & grabbed his hair so he would know how i felt. but no. i obeyed my mum & called up my relatives & stepsiblings. informed them.
we go to the 3rd floor. it's the where the ICU is. isn't that convenient? operation theatre being on the same level as the ICU. he was wheeled in. my mum was pale & weak, sitting on her wheelchair. i was all of 12 years old & sat by the wall reading a book about werewolves. i wore a knitted sweater with pictures of cats all over it. once in a while i pushed up my glasses & looked up to see who else had arrived. i was lost in the moment. at times it felt surreal. i knew i wasn't really there. at the same time i didn't know where else i could possibly be. every 30 minutes or so that stupid idiot in a white lab coat comes out from the operation theatre & assures us that they were just waiting for him to come round so that they can operate on him. they need to clear all that blood choking him so that he could breathe. but for now he's in a bad coma so he's still unconcious. you know what they did to let him breathe? they poked a hole on the side of his neck. i don't know if that cleared the blood or made breathing easier. i'm not good at this bio stuff. so he keeps going in & coming out. in, out, in, out. my grandaunt came, my aunties came, almost every relative living in singapore was there. some consoling my mum, some consoling my stepsisters... i needed no consoling. i was reading a book. the acardia.
the fourth or fifth time that bloody idiot of a doctor came out, my mum started wailing her lungs out before he even opened his mouth. he had that face. "I'm sorry, we lost him." i just looked at him. looked at my mum. looked at the reactions of my relatives as they each crumple up & cried. looked at everyone. just looked. not a tear. not one tear. everyone hugged my mum or someone else. i just... looked. i went to the toilet & washed my face. everyone was still crying & fussing around everyone. i wandered away. i went to a balcony. i sat down, leaning against a vending machine. i looked at the night sky. black. then i cried.
then i went back to my family. we had to settle some papers & my mum told me to call my relatives in Malaysia. as i was walking to the phonebooth on the 1st floor, a young guy on a wheelchair teased me. "nice sweater." i stared at him. what kind of freak is he? does he not know what i've been through? then i realized he DOESN'T. the world doesn't know. i still look normal, human. i called my relatives. then i went to the toilet. washed my face. then went back to where my relatives where. we were filing the death report. DEATH report. he died at 10.55 p.m. on 1st January 1998.
in a while, me, my mum, my eldest uncle & i can't remember who else were following two men in white wheeling him to the morgue. MORGUE. i had never been in one before. it is freezing inside. it's like a huge refridgerator. only they keep humans. people. he is lying on a white sheet. like a mattress of sorts. he seemed happy. serene. contented. not in pain. but that hole. the hole they poked on his neck. it bled. it made him look almost alive. when we got into the morgue, the men said some stuff i can't recall. then everyone started praying & kissing his forehead. my mum did not kiss his forehead. she just sat in her wheelchair & watched. she nudged me. i stood over him & kissed his forehead. it was very cold. then we all walked out. less than 5 footsteps later, i heard a loud bang. the slamming of metal against metal. they had slammed shut my dad into that human refridgerator.
the next day i woke up. it felt normal. i joked & laughed with my cousins. it didn't feel real. the night before seemed to have been a bad nightmare. they washed his body. clean. but that hole. the hole they poked. it just WON'T STOP BLEEDING. then they wrapped him in that while cloth. we call itkain kapan . pure white. clean. but the hole. the bleeding didn't stop. it stained the white sheet. so they had to rush the burial. not much time before the blood stains the white cloth badly. so there was no more kissing the forehead. as they did the whole procession & prayers, i cried. i wobbled & shook & cried. my mum was across the room. i was surrounded by my cousins. i had a clear view of everything & everyone. except him. i just saw him in white. then we travelled to the cemetery. he was buried. i didn't get to watch it as i was having my period. & you can't step on cemetery when you're having it. so i didn't. i watched from far as he went in. as they threw in the soil. i wanted to stop them. stop putting soil on his FACE. stop BURYING him. stop stop stop. but i didn't. so they didn't.
then i went home. my mum lost weight. i started my first day in secondary school a day later. hari raya was a gloomy affair. for the next 2 years, my mum refused to celebrate. no cookies, no festive food. i went to school & came back. my mum didn't want to go to night markets, she didn't want to go to fun- fairs. so i didn't. i grew up. i went through secondary school. did my O Levels. went to JC. then did my A Levels.
and here i am now. that's, how i lost my dad. but i'm okay.
that was a long time ago."
and now, its an even longer time, ago. i did more than the A Levels. but its still the same. the dull thud of pain when you remember what you had. the throb on your temple when you force yourself to recall snippets of your memories with him. and soon, maybe, it'll be the same for you.
but life is like a tidal wave, it rushes you along, doesn't allow you time to linger. so nestle him in the loving warmth of your heart, cradle his love in your arms, treasure the memories you shared, and live life.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins
don't let him die in you.
i'm here for you and i love you naz. and i am truly, deeply, sorry for your loss.
inallilah- wa inallilahi rojjiun.
Love is stronger then death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.
- Anonymous
to my dearest friend, nazreen.
your loss reminded you of mine, and in your pain and through your tears you asked how i did it. thing is, my dear, i never did it. i just continued stumbling and falling and picking myself up till i got to where i am. there really is nothing else we can do. life, goes on, even when its last breath is whiffed off a loved one.
your loss reminds me of mine. but no two losses are the same, it never is. with every loss comes fresh tears, new wounds, another consuming pain, wondering how you can ever go on. and then somehow, you just do.
today i cry for you; i mourn the loss of a father, a husband, a friend, a partner, a companion.
today i cry for you; for the father who will never see you graduate, who will never scold you for staying out past your curfew, who will never marry you off, who will never hold your child gently in his arms and teach that child to call him "grandpa".
today i cry for all that you've lost, that i myself lost so long ago.
(dated 23rd Mar. 04')
"sometimes when it's really late at night, i'll remember. like a sudden flashback; those you see in the movies.
first it'll be him on the hospital bed. me in the visitor's lounge watching TV. then he's back home & all seems fine & dandy. then months later he feels some pain & we all took a cab down to NUH. he walks & talks & IS JUST very well. very alive. but he is admitted to that emergency room. not a a small clinic thing or cubicle or meet a doctor & talk & stuff. no he goes to the emergency room. he WALKS in. walks in as you would walk to the toilet or to a room or a supermarket. he lies there as the doctors work on him. he is alive, his eyes are open. he talks. smiles a little, a tiny wave. then the door closes. my mum & me went to eat some dinner. when we came back, the nurses were frantic. they were looking for my mum & they immediately bustled my mum into that stupid emergency room.
he is screaming. i heard him. he was screaming. i don't know if it was pain or fear but he was screaming. i never heard him scream before. he was always strong, always silent & just there. strong. he screamed for my mum. it was real. my mum went in. in a while she comes out. then she goes in again to take his clothes that has been cut off him. they were blood- soaked. he had vomitted blood. real blood. and this blood is choking him & he can't breathe. my mum faints & she is put in a wheelchair. i see my world, i see my family, falling apart right before my eyes. it was like a typhoon sweeping up each & every last bits of my family. the doctor says they need to operate on him. he has lost consciousness. he's in a coma. only minutes, maybe an hour ago, he was WALKING. & TALKING. i should have slapped the doctor. killed him. pounced on his back & grabbed his hair so he would know how i felt. but no. i obeyed my mum & called up my relatives & stepsiblings. informed them.
we go to the 3rd floor. it's the where the ICU is. isn't that convenient? operation theatre being on the same level as the ICU. he was wheeled in. my mum was pale & weak, sitting on her wheelchair. i was all of 12 years old & sat by the wall reading a book about werewolves. i wore a knitted sweater with pictures of cats all over it. once in a while i pushed up my glasses & looked up to see who else had arrived. i was lost in the moment. at times it felt surreal. i knew i wasn't really there. at the same time i didn't know where else i could possibly be. every 30 minutes or so that stupid idiot in a white lab coat comes out from the operation theatre & assures us that they were just waiting for him to come round so that they can operate on him. they need to clear all that blood choking him so that he could breathe. but for now he's in a bad coma so he's still unconcious. you know what they did to let him breathe? they poked a hole on the side of his neck. i don't know if that cleared the blood or made breathing easier. i'm not good at this bio stuff. so he keeps going in & coming out. in, out, in, out. my grandaunt came, my aunties came, almost every relative living in singapore was there. some consoling my mum, some consoling my stepsisters... i needed no consoling. i was reading a book. the acardia.
the fourth or fifth time that bloody idiot of a doctor came out, my mum started wailing her lungs out before he even opened his mouth. he had that face. "I'm sorry, we lost him." i just looked at him. looked at my mum. looked at the reactions of my relatives as they each crumple up & cried. looked at everyone. just looked. not a tear. not one tear. everyone hugged my mum or someone else. i just... looked. i went to the toilet & washed my face. everyone was still crying & fussing around everyone. i wandered away. i went to a balcony. i sat down, leaning against a vending machine. i looked at the night sky. black. then i cried.
then i went back to my family. we had to settle some papers & my mum told me to call my relatives in Malaysia. as i was walking to the phonebooth on the 1st floor, a young guy on a wheelchair teased me. "nice sweater." i stared at him. what kind of freak is he? does he not know what i've been through? then i realized he DOESN'T. the world doesn't know. i still look normal, human. i called my relatives. then i went to the toilet. washed my face. then went back to where my relatives where. we were filing the death report. DEATH report. he died at 10.55 p.m. on 1st January 1998.
in a while, me, my mum, my eldest uncle & i can't remember who else were following two men in white wheeling him to the morgue. MORGUE. i had never been in one before. it is freezing inside. it's like a huge refridgerator. only they keep humans. people. he is lying on a white sheet. like a mattress of sorts. he seemed happy. serene. contented. not in pain. but that hole. the hole they poked on his neck. it bled. it made him look almost alive. when we got into the morgue, the men said some stuff i can't recall. then everyone started praying & kissing his forehead. my mum did not kiss his forehead. she just sat in her wheelchair & watched. she nudged me. i stood over him & kissed his forehead. it was very cold. then we all walked out. less than 5 footsteps later, i heard a loud bang. the slamming of metal against metal. they had slammed shut my dad into that human refridgerator.
the next day i woke up. it felt normal. i joked & laughed with my cousins. it didn't feel real. the night before seemed to have been a bad nightmare. they washed his body. clean. but that hole. the hole they poked. it just WON'T STOP BLEEDING. then they wrapped him in that while cloth. we call itkain kapan . pure white. clean. but the hole. the bleeding didn't stop. it stained the white sheet. so they had to rush the burial. not much time before the blood stains the white cloth badly. so there was no more kissing the forehead. as they did the whole procession & prayers, i cried. i wobbled & shook & cried. my mum was across the room. i was surrounded by my cousins. i had a clear view of everything & everyone. except him. i just saw him in white. then we travelled to the cemetery. he was buried. i didn't get to watch it as i was having my period. & you can't step on cemetery when you're having it. so i didn't. i watched from far as he went in. as they threw in the soil. i wanted to stop them. stop putting soil on his FACE. stop BURYING him. stop stop stop. but i didn't. so they didn't.
then i went home. my mum lost weight. i started my first day in secondary school a day later. hari raya was a gloomy affair. for the next 2 years, my mum refused to celebrate. no cookies, no festive food. i went to school & came back. my mum didn't want to go to night markets, she didn't want to go to fun- fairs. so i didn't. i grew up. i went through secondary school. did my O Levels. went to JC. then did my A Levels.
and here i am now. that's, how i lost my dad. but i'm okay.
that was a long time ago."
and now, its an even longer time, ago. i did more than the A Levels. but its still the same. the dull thud of pain when you remember what you had. the throb on your temple when you force yourself to recall snippets of your memories with him. and soon, maybe, it'll be the same for you.
but life is like a tidal wave, it rushes you along, doesn't allow you time to linger. so nestle him in the loving warmth of your heart, cradle his love in your arms, treasure the memories you shared, and live life.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins
don't let him die in you.
i'm here for you and i love you naz. and i am truly, deeply, sorry for your loss.
inallilah- wa inallilahi rojjiun.
Love is stronger then death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.
- Anonymous
"women keep themselves trim and dress up to look good for men."
from a letter in response to a previous article written in today, by a man, about lusting men. everything, of course, a big blow- up caused by crazy horse, that french cabaret.
firstly, my opinion on the reason for the fame of that crazy cabaret is, ESSENTIALLY, the naked boobs. you ask the people who go there, they can lie and say its arts and the fancy lights and the fanciful idea that its french and artisan or avant garde, but PEOPLE. let's face it. if it wasn't for the fact that the women are TOPLESS and OOH there's BOOBS, you won't bat an eyelid, this won't be an issue, housewives won't be banging their pots and swinging their ladles in the air, and the men, well... the men won't watch it, would they? the fact that its popular is because there's topless women dancing around to nice music and fancy lights.
no i'm not saying its JUST the tits that keep you going, but i daresay if there wasn't any, it might not have made the arrival all the way from france. or be half as popular. try covering them with bras. maybe the number of patrons might halve?
and its not WRONG to be fascinated by boobs. i mean, for men its probably a dream come true, isn't it? no more sneaking peeks at FHM behind the wives' back (you're too old for that really), no more lying to your girlfriend about your porn stash (if the crazy horse does THAT much for you, then i'd say its worthy), here you have it, boobs in all its naked glory, approved and beamed upon by tha gahmen themselves.
who is to blame for men's fascination with boobs? women, i guess, for covering them up. i mean if the ENTIRE female population walked around the world naked, do you think this cabaret would break- even at all? not like i'm suggesting we should all start walking around naked to close down crazy horse. i'm cool with it really. to the angry housewives: chill woman. its just boobs. you have it i have it many people have it. and the men like it. not much we can change there, unless you wanna fix some genetic make- up. as for men: stop covering up your ass with that "arty" argument. admit that you like naked boobs and that's why you wanna pay good money to see them; albeit flaunted in fancy lights and good music. go ahead.
"Who can blame them, really? A show like Crazy Horse Paris may not stir up any dust in places like Paris or Las Vegas (its first international location) but in strait-laced Singapore, it was bound to stir up a storm in a G-string."
took the words right out of my mouth, you did, Yeoh Siew Hoon.
now on to the more pressing issue which really hit my nerve. mr. women- look- good- for- men, you can't be ANY further from the truth. granted, women like to look good, but really, to assume that this aesthetic experience of purchasing beautiful clothes and the healthy choice of running to keep ourselves toned is SOLELY for the benefit of you and your baby brother... GOSH you're full of it, aren't you? DON'T GIVE YOURSELF SO MUCH CREDIT.
i, for one, speak for a few gorgeous, smart women when i say i buy clothes, dress up and WANT to look good for myself. i buy clothes cuz i enjoy wearing nice things. i try to keep myself fit cuz it makes me feel better about my body and when i feel better i feel more confident and i can face the world head- on, and trashtalk deluded men like you.
yes, for your information, we women can be selfish too. uh- huh. we can choose to BLOW your credit cards on zara, mango, fcuk and whatnots, solely for our pleasure, cuz we know you will do fine deluding yourself into thinking its for you.
do you think i want to feel good and be confident so that i will be more attractive to MEN? this world, really, is more than just about sperm propagation my dear. yeah sure its all nice and good to make babies like bunnies, but there's more to life for us women too.
never, for a minute of your life, think that a gorgeous woman is looking good cuz she wants the men to fall at her feet. a gorgeous woman is looking good cuz she wants to be beautiful. we don't look good for you, we look good for ourselves. so get that right.
for example, beautiful women do not need your approval, your recognition of her beauty. we don't ever need you to notice we're wearing something different, or we've lost weight or our bums looks smaller. if we think we're looking fab, chances are your opinion's worth nothing. not unless you're of some significance, of course. even then, we seek not your approval or attention. if we get it, how nice, if we don't, life was dandy as it is.
yeah sure some of us are all contented to be paid to be yourmaid housewife, and might even perceive the need to lose weight and constantly look good as remuneration for the cash you dole out to us for staying at home. there's that limited few...
and then there's women who bask in the pleasures of all things womanly, and trust me, half of it has nothing, at all, to do with men.
from a letter in response to a previous article written in today, by a man, about lusting men. everything, of course, a big blow- up caused by crazy horse, that french cabaret.
firstly, my opinion on the reason for the fame of that crazy cabaret is, ESSENTIALLY, the naked boobs. you ask the people who go there, they can lie and say its arts and the fancy lights and the fanciful idea that its french and artisan or avant garde, but PEOPLE. let's face it. if it wasn't for the fact that the women are TOPLESS and OOH there's BOOBS, you won't bat an eyelid, this won't be an issue, housewives won't be banging their pots and swinging their ladles in the air, and the men, well... the men won't watch it, would they? the fact that its popular is because there's topless women dancing around to nice music and fancy lights.
no i'm not saying its JUST the tits that keep you going, but i daresay if there wasn't any, it might not have made the arrival all the way from france. or be half as popular. try covering them with bras. maybe the number of patrons might halve?
and its not WRONG to be fascinated by boobs. i mean, for men its probably a dream come true, isn't it? no more sneaking peeks at FHM behind the wives' back (you're too old for that really), no more lying to your girlfriend about your porn stash (if the crazy horse does THAT much for you, then i'd say its worthy), here you have it, boobs in all its naked glory, approved and beamed upon by tha gahmen themselves.
who is to blame for men's fascination with boobs? women, i guess, for covering them up. i mean if the ENTIRE female population walked around the world naked, do you think this cabaret would break- even at all? not like i'm suggesting we should all start walking around naked to close down crazy horse. i'm cool with it really. to the angry housewives: chill woman. its just boobs. you have it i have it many people have it. and the men like it. not much we can change there, unless you wanna fix some genetic make- up. as for men: stop covering up your ass with that "arty" argument. admit that you like naked boobs and that's why you wanna pay good money to see them; albeit flaunted in fancy lights and good music. go ahead.
"Who can blame them, really? A show like Crazy Horse Paris may not stir up any dust in places like Paris or Las Vegas (its first international location) but in strait-laced Singapore, it was bound to stir up a storm in a G-string."
took the words right out of my mouth, you did, Yeoh Siew Hoon.
now on to the more pressing issue which really hit my nerve. mr. women- look- good- for- men, you can't be ANY further from the truth. granted, women like to look good, but really, to assume that this aesthetic experience of purchasing beautiful clothes and the healthy choice of running to keep ourselves toned is SOLELY for the benefit of you and your baby brother... GOSH you're full of it, aren't you? DON'T GIVE YOURSELF SO MUCH CREDIT.
i, for one, speak for a few gorgeous, smart women when i say i buy clothes, dress up and WANT to look good for myself. i buy clothes cuz i enjoy wearing nice things. i try to keep myself fit cuz it makes me feel better about my body and when i feel better i feel more confident and i can face the world head- on, and trashtalk deluded men like you.
yes, for your information, we women can be selfish too. uh- huh. we can choose to BLOW your credit cards on zara, mango, fcuk and whatnots, solely for our pleasure, cuz we know you will do fine deluding yourself into thinking its for you.
do you think i want to feel good and be confident so that i will be more attractive to MEN? this world, really, is more than just about sperm propagation my dear. yeah sure its all nice and good to make babies like bunnies, but there's more to life for us women too.
never, for a minute of your life, think that a gorgeous woman is looking good cuz she wants the men to fall at her feet. a gorgeous woman is looking good cuz she wants to be beautiful. we don't look good for you, we look good for ourselves. so get that right.
for example, beautiful women do not need your approval, your recognition of her beauty. we don't ever need you to notice we're wearing something different, or we've lost weight or our bums looks smaller. if we think we're looking fab, chances are your opinion's worth nothing. not unless you're of some significance, of course. even then, we seek not your approval or attention. if we get it, how nice, if we don't, life was dandy as it is.
i am not a feminist, but nor do i stand for men who think too highly of themselves.
yeah sure some of us are all contented to be paid to be your
and then there's women who bask in the pleasures of all things womanly, and trust me, half of it has nothing, at all, to do with men.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
presenting...
the hottest men of soccer.
1. this one goes without saying, he IS the Y- front CK briefsman...
freddie ljungberg. slurps.
2.
raul gonzalez.
3.
simao.
4.
ilhan mansiz. halal meat. yum.
5.
david trezeguet.
6.
pablo aimar.
7.
xabi alonso.
8.
luis garcia.
9.
nesta. some might argue he's hotter than the rest ahead of him but this is MY list so sod off.
10.
zambrotta.
11.
nuno.
12.
ferreira. although he plays for chelsea.
13.
steven gerrard. haha yes he's the last of the liverpool squad la. humph. *mumble mumble*
14.
alan smith.
15.
sukumar suresh.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA.
sorry hor, must put. a dutiful and obliged girlfriend i am. haha.
but correct what, if girls watch more soccer, you'd get to snag a maplek like him. dowan meh? ke aku sorang je suka?
haha so anyway yes i know some will argue the ranking is whacked, they can name hotter men blablabla point is, MY list. you think got hotter men go make your own list la. for now i am happy with these 15. especially no. 15. HAHAHHA.
ok dah aku pun nyampah. bye.
the hottest men of soccer.
1. this one goes without saying, he IS the Y- front CK briefsman...
freddie ljungberg. slurps.
2.
raul gonzalez.
3.
simao.
4.
ilhan mansiz. halal meat. yum.
5.
david trezeguet.
6.
pablo aimar.
7.
xabi alonso.
8.
luis garcia.
9.
nesta. some might argue he's hotter than the rest ahead of him but this is MY list so sod off.
10.
zambrotta.
11.
nuno.
12.
ferreira. although he plays for chelsea.
13.
steven gerrard. haha yes he's the last of the liverpool squad la. humph. *mumble mumble*
14.
alan smith.
15.
sukumar suresh.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA.
sorry hor, must put. a dutiful and obliged girlfriend i am. haha.
but correct what, if girls watch more soccer, you'd get to snag a maplek like him. dowan meh? ke aku sorang je suka?
haha so anyway yes i know some will argue the ranking is whacked, they can name hotter men blablabla point is, MY list. you think got hotter men go make your own list la. for now i am happy with these 15. especially no. 15. HAHAHHA.
ok dah aku pun nyampah. bye.
okay i know some of you are going to think i am damn cock for posting this at ALL but i must answer my own question, sort of (read previous post first please). well anyway aladdin CANNOT be muslim lor. cuz in the movie he kissed jasmine! alot of times! and they hug. alot. so ya. cannot be muslim right? what if muslim kids watch and think he's muslim and wonder why he's allowed to do that? teaching wrong things! but of course being arab doens't mean he is necessarily muslim. and its still possible he's agnostic. but ahhhh... technicalities. and why ah, when cartoons kiss its okay but when adults kiss we all freak out and become prudes?
but back to aladdin right, i think maybe he's truly arab in some other versions. cuz if i'm not wrong they got morrocan version, persian version, so maybe in those he is more 'pious' and doesn't even touch jasmine with a 10- foot pole.
ermmm, looking like that, i seriously doubt it also. so sexy la. siao. can wear like that in arab one meh? where's the jilbab issues? and CLEARLY she cannot be muslim also la right. so did jasmine and aladdin have a civil marriage? and isn't sultan an indian term? I AM CONFUSED. THIS MOVIE IS MESSING UP MY HEAD CAN.
and why cartoon characters can wear until like that and not be called slut? hmm hmm? i tell you some movie star wears that for screen she's probably ACTING as a slut, or will be called one, for using her body to gain fame. though i doubt we can accuse jasmine of the same thing. she isn't even real. -_- eh but i know real MEN who have a crush on her can. she is possibly the hottest cartoon character ever. eh but really her top looks super flimsy can. anytime can fall off. eh! cartoon characters don't need to wear bra hor? she clearly... isn't. ehhhhhhhhhh WHY DO I NOTICE THESE THINGS!?!?!?! ohmygod.
no.more.vanilla.latte.at.night.
okay okay i will go off now (btw if you're wondering i'm staying up to catch carling cup match; man u birmingham) but one last question; did anyone count how many ehs' there are in this post?
okokbye.
but back to aladdin right, i think maybe he's truly arab in some other versions. cuz if i'm not wrong they got morrocan version, persian version, so maybe in those he is more 'pious' and doesn't even touch jasmine with a 10- foot pole.
ermmm, looking like that, i seriously doubt it also. so sexy la. siao. can wear like that in arab one meh? where's the jilbab issues? and CLEARLY she cannot be muslim also la right. so did jasmine and aladdin have a civil marriage? and isn't sultan an indian term? I AM CONFUSED. THIS MOVIE IS MESSING UP MY HEAD CAN.
and why cartoon characters can wear until like that and not be called slut? hmm hmm? i tell you some movie star wears that for screen she's probably ACTING as a slut, or will be called one, for using her body to gain fame. though i doubt we can accuse jasmine of the same thing. she isn't even real. -_- eh but i know real MEN who have a crush on her can. she is possibly the hottest cartoon character ever. eh but really her top looks super flimsy can. anytime can fall off. eh! cartoon characters don't need to wear bra hor? she clearly... isn't. ehhhhhhhhhh WHY DO I NOTICE THESE THINGS!?!?!?! ohmygod.
no.more.vanilla.latte.at.night.
okay okay i will go off now (btw if you're wondering i'm staying up to catch carling cup match; man u birmingham) but one last question; did anyone count how many ehs' there are in this post?
okokbye.
i am kental
listening to disney soundtracks. ultimate kentalness okay. the entire aladdin soundtrack on iTunes. see la. deprived childhood.
and contrary to popular myth, my favourite aladdin tune is NOT a whole new world (though it is sweet la), but forget about love. :D its damn cute okay. the bird, iago, sang it with jasmine, and then later on she sang it with aladdin. aiya. damn sweet la. i love the song.
yesyes i am not over my aladdin crush... bolehhhh. and aladdin is ARAB la. why he so dark seh? so biased. made me think he's indian lor. pfft. ade ke muslim namanye aladdin? is aladdin muslim? okay la too many questions, wrong timing.
[IAGO:]
Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes
Forget about his charms
Forget about the way he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious
The thrill
The chill
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love!
Forget about romance
Forget about the way your heart begins to dance
Then you feel the blush
When he's spouting out some sentimental mush
Love really is revolting!
It's even worse than when you're moulting
Enough of this fluff!
Just forget about love!
[JASMINE:]
I had almost forgotten the way it felt
When he held out his hand for mine
My heart all a-flutter
[IAGO:]
Oh, how I shudder
[JASMINE:]
The first time we kissed
[IAGO:]
It won't be missed!
Forget about 'is touch
[JASMINE:]
I can't forget about his touch
[IAGO:]
In the scheme of things,
It doesn't matter much
[JASMINE:]
It matters so mu-uch
[IAGO:]
You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet
When you eat alone
[JASMINE:]
Hmm-mm-mm-mm
[BOTH:]
Love's filled with compromises
[IAGO:]
And don't you hate those big surprises?
[JASMINE:]
A cozy rendezvous
[IAGO:]
Oh, please!
[JASMINE:]
Candlelight for two
[IAGO:]
Oh, geez!
[JASMINE:]
Look you're calling my bluff!
[BOTH:]
(I can't) (Just) forget about love!
[JASMINE:]
I can't forget about my heart
[ALADDIN:]
I can't forget about my heart
the rest here.
very long ah the song. so read the rest if you want.
okay to put an END once and for ALL to this sappiness that has overwhelmed my poor blog, i shall dish out my daily dose of man u rant. well... this isn't much of a rant. just a(n) (UNEDITED) picture courtesy of ian's blog. uhmmm. well... let's just say it puts the two young frontmen of red devils in quite, the, er, compromising position.
incriminating pose, i must say.
listening to disney soundtracks. ultimate kentalness okay. the entire aladdin soundtrack on iTunes. see la. deprived childhood.
and contrary to popular myth, my favourite aladdin tune is NOT a whole new world (though it is sweet la), but forget about love. :D its damn cute okay. the bird, iago, sang it with jasmine, and then later on she sang it with aladdin. aiya. damn sweet la. i love the song.
yesyes i am not over my aladdin crush... bolehhhh. and aladdin is ARAB la. why he so dark seh? so biased. made me think he's indian lor. pfft. ade ke muslim namanye aladdin? is aladdin muslim? okay la too many questions, wrong timing.
[IAGO:]
Forget about that guy
Forget about the way you fell into his eyes
Forget about his charms
Forget about the way he held you in his arms
Walking on air's obnoxious
The thrill
The chill
Will make you nauseous
And you'll never get enough
Just forget about love!
Forget about romance
Forget about the way your heart begins to dance
Then you feel the blush
When he's spouting out some sentimental mush
Love really is revolting!
It's even worse than when you're moulting
Enough of this fluff!
Just forget about love!
[JASMINE:]
I had almost forgotten the way it felt
When he held out his hand for mine
My heart all a-flutter
[IAGO:]
Oh, how I shudder
[JASMINE:]
The first time we kissed
[IAGO:]
It won't be missed!
Forget about 'is touch
[JASMINE:]
I can't forget about his touch
[IAGO:]
In the scheme of things,
It doesn't matter much
[JASMINE:]
It matters so mu-uch
[IAGO:]
You're better on your own
A meal becomes a banquet
When you eat alone
[JASMINE:]
Hmm-mm-mm-mm
[BOTH:]
Love's filled with compromises
[IAGO:]
And don't you hate those big surprises?
[JASMINE:]
A cozy rendezvous
[IAGO:]
Oh, please!
[JASMINE:]
Candlelight for two
[IAGO:]
Oh, geez!
[JASMINE:]
Look you're calling my bluff!
[BOTH:]
(I can't) (Just) forget about love!
[JASMINE:]
I can't forget about my heart
[ALADDIN:]
I can't forget about my heart
the rest here.
very long ah the song. so read the rest if you want.
okay to put an END once and for ALL to this sappiness that has overwhelmed my poor blog, i shall dish out my daily dose of man u rant. well... this isn't much of a rant. just a(n) (UNEDITED) picture courtesy of ian's blog. uhmmm. well... let's just say it puts the two young frontmen of red devils in quite, the, er, compromising position.
incriminating pose, i must say.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
it doesn't get any better than this
happy days are here again. day well- spent. met iylia, the famous best friend of the maplek. nice boy, possible future target should things go awry with the boy. :D kidding.
had komala's, listened to christmas caroling by hcjc choir at conrad, coffee from starbucks suntecs. many many happy times.
i am almost convinced i can fart flames now.
the maplek leaves for kl tomorrow. back sunday. i'm running on thursday and king kong- ing with sara. yay! and friday, who knows. another day, another happy moment.
this might be the vanilla latte speaking but GOSH i feel light- headed and so happy i think my head's gonna burst and there'll be a huge black hole in the middle of my forehead.
i know its in dribs and drabs but since i feel like it i shall post one more zoo picture. i promise full sets tomorrow, IF i go to hana's to upload it. haha.
The sun is up
i'm so happy i could scream
and there's nowhere else in the world i'd rather be
than here with you
it's perfect
it's all I ever wanted
Almost can't believe that it's for real
I really don't think it gets any better than this
vanilla smile
and a gorgeous strawberry kiss!
birds sing we swing
clouds shift by and everything is like a dream
It's everything I wished...
never guessed it got this good
wondered if it ever would
really didn't think it could
do it again?
i know we should!
The sun is up
i'm so fizzy i could burst!
Mint Car; The Cure
nuff' said.
happy days are here again. day well- spent. met iylia, the famous best friend of the maplek. nice boy, possible future target should things go awry with the boy. :D kidding.
had komala's, listened to christmas caroling by hcjc choir at conrad, coffee from starbucks suntecs. many many happy times.
i am almost convinced i can fart flames now.
the maplek leaves for kl tomorrow. back sunday. i'm running on thursday and king kong- ing with sara. yay! and friday, who knows. another day, another happy moment.
this might be the vanilla latte speaking but GOSH i feel light- headed and so happy i think my head's gonna burst and there'll be a huge black hole in the middle of my forehead.
i know its in dribs and drabs but since i feel like it i shall post one more zoo picture. i promise full sets tomorrow, IF i go to hana's to upload it. haha.
The sun is up
i'm so happy i could scream
and there's nowhere else in the world i'd rather be
than here with you
it's perfect
it's all I ever wanted
Almost can't believe that it's for real
I really don't think it gets any better than this
vanilla smile
and a gorgeous strawberry kiss!
birds sing we swing
clouds shift by and everything is like a dream
It's everything I wished...
never guessed it got this good
wondered if it ever would
really didn't think it could
do it again?
i know we should!
The sun is up
i'm so fizzy i could burst!
Mint Car; The Cure
nuff' said.
Monday, December 19, 2005
new year, new year
for this new year, i predict myself a quiet, sombre year, with better grades and minimal drama.
yes, cuz i'm the queen of wishful thinking (which is a damn nice song btw; king of wishful thinking).
"over ice- cream we came to conclusions that includes;... fiza is having alot of men in 2005..."
(dated 4th Jan. 05)
and what happened? yes. our predictions came true. "we" here refers to me and hafiz dizzie. so this year i want to predict a better future. haha. essentially alot of men in 2005 was supposed to be a good thing i guess, till it took a turn for the... worse. of sorts.
somehow its hard to look back on 2005 and not burst out laughing, just simply looking at the ludicrous amount of men it brought. haha. i guess singlehood does that to you.
as for 2006... i'm going for simplicity. almost zen- like. keep things easy and simple. stick with what i have. lay low. study hard, work hard. same old shite. stay happy. keep smiling. always works; year in year out.
something about the year ending makes you reflective i guess. but each year no matter how bad it was, i never regret a thing. just the same, i look forward to a new year. new days, new memories, new beginnings, fresh starts.
good days, i've had this year. towards the end of the year there was increasing drama, with hospitals and exes being a common feature. but at the end of the day i remain rooted, and this happiness just won't leave my side.
a word to describe 2004 would have been volatile. many countries, many people, results, occurances. but it was all good still. a word to describe 2005 would be happy, cuz despite everything else, what remains a permanent memory for me now is the unfathomable amount of happiness that filled my head and veins with so much sunshine i felt i could burst into fireworks and fart flames. really.
there's only a few days left of 2005, and thankfully that leaves little room for mishaps. but even so, nothing can bring me down, put me off what has been a brilliant year thus far. well nothing terribly drastic. so don't go dying on me, any one of you. then we'd be cool.
with my head held high... i'd see through next year. :)
for this new year, i predict myself a quiet, sombre year, with better grades and minimal drama.
yes, cuz i'm the queen of wishful thinking (which is a damn nice song btw; king of wishful thinking).
"over ice- cream we came to conclusions that includes;... fiza is having alot of men in 2005..."
(dated 4th Jan. 05)
and what happened? yes. our predictions came true. "we" here refers to me and hafiz dizzie. so this year i want to predict a better future. haha. essentially alot of men in 2005 was supposed to be a good thing i guess, till it took a turn for the... worse. of sorts.
somehow its hard to look back on 2005 and not burst out laughing, just simply looking at the ludicrous amount of men it brought. haha. i guess singlehood does that to you.
as for 2006... i'm going for simplicity. almost zen- like. keep things easy and simple. stick with what i have. lay low. study hard, work hard. same old shite. stay happy. keep smiling. always works; year in year out.
something about the year ending makes you reflective i guess. but each year no matter how bad it was, i never regret a thing. just the same, i look forward to a new year. new days, new memories, new beginnings, fresh starts.
good days, i've had this year. towards the end of the year there was increasing drama, with hospitals and exes being a common feature. but at the end of the day i remain rooted, and this happiness just won't leave my side.
a word to describe 2004 would have been volatile. many countries, many people, results, occurances. but it was all good still. a word to describe 2005 would be happy, cuz despite everything else, what remains a permanent memory for me now is the unfathomable amount of happiness that filled my head and veins with so much sunshine i felt i could burst into fireworks and fart flames. really.
there's only a few days left of 2005, and thankfully that leaves little room for mishaps. but even so, nothing can bring me down, put me off what has been a brilliant year thus far. well nothing terribly drastic. so don't go dying on me, any one of you. then we'd be cool.
with my head held high... i'd see through next year. :)
loneliness is such a sad affair
there's alot to be sad about in the world of soccer. chelsea's dominance in the english league sustains, with their 2- 0 win over arsenal. which is bloody unfair, cuz really, persie's goal shouldn't have been disallowed. some things just change the game. and ESSIEN deserves a 20 match ban on ALL leagues la. play like monkey you know. hand fly everywhere. he's officially the most annoying soccer playing i know. so violent. like beruang! bahhhhhh. i don't like him. then again i hate the entire chelsea team. such show- offs. pricks la all of them. learn from their manager. when robben scored, he and drogba did some snotty victory dance with a very sialan face, and on the other end mourinho did the most childish victory hand pumps. ISHHHHHH. irritating la the whole team.
BUT there's alot to be happy about too. like how fun gail's dinner was. meeting usp people. me and maplek were only 2 non- chinese. haha. but it was fun! talked alot of nonsense. shit was a dominant topic. it scares me how shit follows me everywhere i go.
prior to that met the maplek, sat at McCafe for abit, where i got fluffy, the very yummy steamed milk. and then we went to borders where he got me my book in trade of a very nice and happy and dancy and hyperactive fiza.
dinner was fun and full of laughs, then we snucked off a bit for some quiet time together. then it was time to head home cuz need to watch soccer! ahaha. we're a couple with common priorities. it helps.
then the boy wonder decides to make my day again by calling me up and we talked on the phone. for like, 45 minutes! yea a whole first half. haha. the whole time i was anticipating okay i'll talk to you tomorrow, but we just went on and on and it was really quite nice. that's possibly the longest time we've spent on the phone. :)) and every once in a while you hear a cussing fiza or a yelping suresh, cuz someone misses a goal or gets hacked down. i love soccer.
the boy is extra busy tomorrow, with his dad on leave and needing him to help him with errands. but he said he'd try to do dinner, since he'll be off for malaysia on wednesday. you guys know the drill. call me up, set the dates, i'm free as a blue jayway bird. whatever.
as of now i think i've got sentosa plans and king kong plans. so any other plans to shove in my face, feel free to gimme a nudge on msn or call ya? i know it seems that i only meet you guys up when he's away but you gotta excuse us for abit, we're going through a rough patch of sorts, and we kinda need all the time we can get.
time and time again i surprise myself with my incessant need to explain myself to total strangers. sheesh.
so whatever la ye. anyway. now i got THREE unfinished books, and just the thought of reading all of them is simply- put, orgasmic. 2 detective thrillers (sucker for them, especially MICHAEL CONNELLY, get me one and you're an angel for life; suresh would know. he just got me one today, and you can ask him just how nice i've been to him since, hahaha) and one superbly brilliant one for women by woman; bride stripped bare. so do understand my barely contained excitement.
its been a lovely day.
there's alot to be sad about in the world of soccer. chelsea's dominance in the english league sustains, with their 2- 0 win over arsenal. which is bloody unfair, cuz really, persie's goal shouldn't have been disallowed. some things just change the game. and ESSIEN deserves a 20 match ban on ALL leagues la. play like monkey you know. hand fly everywhere. he's officially the most annoying soccer playing i know. so violent. like beruang! bahhhhhh. i don't like him. then again i hate the entire chelsea team. such show- offs. pricks la all of them. learn from their manager. when robben scored, he and drogba did some snotty victory dance with a very sialan face, and on the other end mourinho did the most childish victory hand pumps. ISHHHHHH. irritating la the whole team.
BUT there's alot to be happy about too. like how fun gail's dinner was. meeting usp people. me and maplek were only 2 non- chinese. haha. but it was fun! talked alot of nonsense. shit was a dominant topic. it scares me how shit follows me everywhere i go.
prior to that met the maplek, sat at McCafe for abit, where i got fluffy, the very yummy steamed milk. and then we went to borders where he got me my book in trade of a very nice and happy and dancy and hyperactive fiza.
dinner was fun and full of laughs, then we snucked off a bit for some quiet time together. then it was time to head home cuz need to watch soccer! ahaha. we're a couple with common priorities. it helps.
then the boy wonder decides to make my day again by calling me up and we talked on the phone. for like, 45 minutes! yea a whole first half. haha. the whole time i was anticipating okay i'll talk to you tomorrow, but we just went on and on and it was really quite nice. that's possibly the longest time we've spent on the phone. :)) and every once in a while you hear a cussing fiza or a yelping suresh, cuz someone misses a goal or gets hacked down. i love soccer.
the boy is extra busy tomorrow, with his dad on leave and needing him to help him with errands. but he said he'd try to do dinner, since he'll be off for malaysia on wednesday. you guys know the drill. call me up, set the dates, i'm free as a blue jay
as of now i think i've got sentosa plans and king kong plans. so any other plans to shove in my face, feel free to gimme a nudge on msn or call ya? i know it seems that i only meet you guys up when he's away but you gotta excuse us for abit, we're going through a rough patch of sorts, and we kinda need all the time we can get.
time and time again i surprise myself with my incessant need to explain myself to total strangers. sheesh.
so whatever la ye. anyway. now i got THREE unfinished books, and just the thought of reading all of them is simply- put, orgasmic. 2 detective thrillers (sucker for them, especially MICHAEL CONNELLY, get me one and you're an angel for life; suresh would know. he just got me one today, and you can ask him just how nice i've been to him since, hahaha) and one superbly brilliant one for women by woman; bride stripped bare. so do understand my barely contained excitement.
its been a lovely day.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
could i?
maybe i can lure all of you to tears. if you just follow these simple instructions.
here's my playlist for "crybaby." as the name suggests, its the saddest songs in the world playlist. feel free to suggest more, but for now these have been doing a pretty darn good job.
1. R.E.M; Everybody Hurts
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
2. Gilbert O'Sullivan; Alone Again, Naturally
Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn’t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
3. Babyface; Nobody Knows It But Me
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
4. BoyzIIMen; Water Runs Dry
Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that’s a pain we can’t hide
’cause everybody knows that we’re both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away
5. BoyzIIMen (clearly champion of sap); End Of The Road
Said we’d be forever
Said it’d never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say good-bye?
6. Roxette; Must Have Been Love
It must have been love
But it's over now.
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow.
It must have been love
But it's over now.
From the moment we touched
'Til the time had run out.
7. Roxette; Spending My Time
Spending my time,
Watching the days go by.
Feeling so small,
I stare at the wall,
Hoping that you think of me too.
I’m spending my time.
8. Depeche Mode; Somebody
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....
9. Richard Marx; Now And Forever
Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given
to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever
I will be you man
(in case you're wondering, this IS sad cuz there is NO SUCH MAN)
10. Brian McKnight; One Last Cry
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
11. BoyzIIMen; So Hard To Say Goodbye
I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
12. Nazareth; Love Hurts
Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
I know it isn’t true,
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
13. Eric Clapton; Tears In Heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
14. Rick Price; Heaven Knows
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows
again, just nice for one cd. i rock la. ok go download then we nangis ramai- ramai okay? mass crying at my void deck tomorrow. ok on set. OH SHIT MEETING MAPLEK AT 5 I AM GOING TO BE LATE BYEEEEEEEEEE
maybe i can lure all of you to tears. if you just follow these simple instructions.
here's my playlist for "crybaby." as the name suggests, its the saddest songs in the world playlist. feel free to suggest more, but for now these have been doing a pretty darn good job.
1. R.E.M; Everybody Hurts
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So, hold on, hold on
2. Gilbert O'Sullivan; Alone Again, Naturally
Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn’t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
3. Babyface; Nobody Knows It But Me
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
4. BoyzIIMen; Water Runs Dry
Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that’s a pain we can’t hide
’cause everybody knows that we’re both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away
5. BoyzIIMen (clearly champion of sap); End Of The Road
Said we’d be forever
Said it’d never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say good-bye?
6. Roxette; Must Have Been Love
It must have been love
But it's over now.
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow.
It must have been love
But it's over now.
From the moment we touched
'Til the time had run out.
7. Roxette; Spending My Time
Spending my time,
Watching the days go by.
Feeling so small,
I stare at the wall,
Hoping that you think of me too.
I’m spending my time.
8. Depeche Mode; Somebody
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....
9. Richard Marx; Now And Forever
Sometimes I just hold you
Too caught up in me to see
I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given
to me
I'll try to show you each and every way I can
Now and forever
I will be you man
(in case you're wondering, this IS sad cuz there is NO SUCH MAN)
10. Brian McKnight; One Last Cry
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
11. BoyzIIMen; So Hard To Say Goodbye
I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
12. Nazareth; Love Hurts
Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
I know it isn’t true,
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
13. Eric Clapton; Tears In Heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
14. Rick Price; Heaven Knows
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows
again, just nice for one cd. i rock la. ok go download then we nangis ramai- ramai okay? mass crying at my void deck tomorrow. ok on set. OH SHIT MEETING MAPLEK AT 5 I AM GOING TO BE LATE BYEEEEEEEEEE
how many more nights like this, before i just cave in? how many more cold, icy, walls, before the tension snaps through and it all collapses like a house of cards?
just how much more. how much more can a heart take.
just how much more. how much more can a heart take.
beam me up, scotty
just finished watching aladdin on disney channel. awwww. so sweet la the movie. i want to have an aladdin can. he's so sweet! so heroic. ish.
i think i have a crush on aladdin la.
:( so sweet.
just checking ah, is aladdin indian? JUST.CHECKING.
why don't i have an aladdin. or a magic carpet? the world is so unfair. and why is it that someone's sister can apply for world cup 06' tickets and ask her brother along and i am resigned to watching it from home? the world is so bloody unfair like that.
i still want an aladdin. this must be the delirium of fever. he's so sweet okay? they sing songs in the castle and he is so sincere and he has floppy hair and he wants to see the world and he BRINGS his girlfriend along. :(( i want an aladdin.
my head is banging away. tsk. i don't see any reason why i should be sick. i'm fine whaaaat. never play in the rain never do anything. nyehhhhhh.
anyway so today i finally managed to haul my ass out of my house and make my way to town, meet mum and gail, and did some window- shopping on my own afterwards. mum got a handbag, got me one, gail bought like half of topshop or something, got myself cute t- string and new earrings for upcoming parties, went borders and decided to up the ante and cap the day with a new book. i am very happy.
but i am pissed cuz i got a fever. annoying okayyyyyyy. no apparent reason one. no warning. angin takde ribut takde tau- tau demam...
anyway man u won, and hopefully tomorrow arsenal do us all a favour and trash the living hell out of chelsea. and if they don't do the job, i know barca sure as hell would for their champs league match up. :))
anyway i have managed to con my boyfriend into buying me a book tomorrow. :))))) i wish i can smile as i do virtually but i can't. i am so tired that the mere thought of lifting the corners of my lips makes me feel like collapsing before my laptop. so i shall save the energy and type on instead. and slip in lots of :)) along the way.
my tongue hurts. its burning? so weird la. and my head hurts. i should stop whining. :))
christmas cum birthday thingy tomorrow in town. the maplek will be in tow. how nice. but he still doesn't measure up to aladdin.
signs of delirium;
SuReSh says:
what kinda dinner is it?
did i say that i loathe you? says:
there's food
did i say that i loathe you? says:
and water
see la. how liddat.
okok i better stop. i'm making very little sense.
ohohoh wait wait one more thing.
there are several interesting things about town on a weekend. for example, you can find out that a bunch of 16- year- old boys thinks you're, "P*KIMAKKKKKKK (damn vulgar la this word) PUNYE JAMMMZZZ BOLEH SAKIT SIAAAAAAK."
erm, "my mother's vagina!!!!!!! she so pretty until can become sick". i dunno who's going to be sick, them or me, but i vouch the latter since i AM having a fever now.
and you know they're 16 cuz they said something about their N level results being released or summat.
andandand i am VERY excited about this cuz its like super breakthrough or something.
NOW i know why i always get chatted up by icky boys- i'm always out on weekdays! weekends is when the cuties comes out to playyyyyyy. GOD the eye candy on the streets. too bad it was packed and i was just more concerned about getting home in time for the 8.40 match. but from what little i saw, yes yes. hot boys come out on saturdays. i got chatted up by an ang moh and one mat handsome (yes still mat but at least HANDSOME okay). not bad la. and not old ang moh looking for a quickie okay, like cute, young ang moh. brown hair. lalalalalala.
okay la that's all. i'm tired again. oh he just made me smile cuz he reminded me he's getting me a book tomorrow. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. the BEST boyfriend in the world. my one. :D:D:D:D
okay good night. i see tomatoes.
just finished watching aladdin on disney channel. awwww. so sweet la the movie. i want to have an aladdin can. he's so sweet! so heroic. ish.
i think i have a crush on aladdin la.
:( so sweet.
just checking ah, is aladdin indian? JUST.CHECKING.
why don't i have an aladdin. or a magic carpet? the world is so unfair. and why is it that someone's sister can apply for world cup 06' tickets and ask her brother along and i am resigned to watching it from home? the world is so bloody unfair like that.
i still want an aladdin. this must be the delirium of fever. he's so sweet okay? they sing songs in the castle and he is so sincere and he has floppy hair and he wants to see the world and he BRINGS his girlfriend along. :(( i want an aladdin.
my head is banging away. tsk. i don't see any reason why i should be sick. i'm fine whaaaat. never play in the rain never do anything. nyehhhhhh.
anyway so today i finally managed to haul my ass out of my house and make my way to town, meet mum and gail, and did some window- shopping on my own afterwards. mum got a handbag, got me one, gail bought like half of topshop or something, got myself cute t- string and new earrings for upcoming parties, went borders and decided to up the ante and cap the day with a new book. i am very happy.
but i am pissed cuz i got a fever. annoying okayyyyyyy. no apparent reason one. no warning. angin takde ribut takde tau- tau demam...
anyway man u won, and hopefully tomorrow arsenal do us all a favour and trash the living hell out of chelsea. and if they don't do the job, i know barca sure as hell would for their champs league match up. :))
anyway i have managed to con my boyfriend into buying me a book tomorrow. :))))) i wish i can smile as i do virtually but i can't. i am so tired that the mere thought of lifting the corners of my lips makes me feel like collapsing before my laptop. so i shall save the energy and type on instead. and slip in lots of :)) along the way.
my tongue hurts. its burning? so weird la. and my head hurts. i should stop whining. :))
christmas cum birthday thingy tomorrow in town. the maplek will be in tow. how nice. but he still doesn't measure up to aladdin.
signs of delirium;
SuReSh says:
what kinda dinner is it?
did i say that i loathe you? says:
there's food
did i say that i loathe you? says:
and water
see la. how liddat.
okok i better stop. i'm making very little sense.
ohohoh wait wait one more thing.
there are several interesting things about town on a weekend. for example, you can find out that a bunch of 16- year- old boys thinks you're, "P*KIMAKKKKKKK (damn vulgar la this word) PUNYE JAMMMZZZ BOLEH SAKIT SIAAAAAAK."
erm, "my mother's vagina!!!!!!! she so pretty until can become sick". i dunno who's going to be sick, them or me, but i vouch the latter since i AM having a fever now.
and you know they're 16 cuz they said something about their N level results being released or summat.
andandand i am VERY excited about this cuz its like super breakthrough or something.
NOW i know why i always get chatted up by icky boys- i'm always out on weekdays! weekends is when the cuties comes out to playyyyyyy. GOD the eye candy on the streets. too bad it was packed and i was just more concerned about getting home in time for the 8.40 match. but from what little i saw, yes yes. hot boys come out on saturdays. i got chatted up by an ang moh and one mat handsome (yes still mat but at least HANDSOME okay). not bad la. and not old ang moh looking for a quickie okay, like cute, young ang moh. brown hair. lalalalalala.
okay la that's all. i'm tired again. oh he just made me smile cuz he reminded me he's getting me a book tomorrow. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. the BEST boyfriend in the world. my one. :D:D:D:D
okay good night. i see tomatoes.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
i've been secretly falling apart
a slow, quite inner disintegration
a self- destructive system, slowly failing
and when all that's inside is gone
when its all hollow and only the skin holds you up
you just wait for the moment
when the shell caves in and collapse
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
ashes of a someone you used to be
dispersed by the wind, nothing more.
a slow, quite inner disintegration
a self- destructive system, slowly failing
and when all that's inside is gone
when its all hollow and only the skin holds you up
you just wait for the moment
when the shell caves in and collapse
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
ashes of a someone you used to be
dispersed by the wind, nothing more.
can't you see how happy you make me?
why then would anyone want to leave?
if you know how much this means,
then why choose farewell over the happier linger?
we hate the words we say that pushes people away-
when deep inside all we want, is to beg him to stay,
just a little longer, a little more, everyday.
why then would anyone want to leave?
if you know how much this means,
then why choose farewell over the happier linger?
we hate the words we say that pushes people away-
when deep inside all we want, is to beg him to stay,
just a little longer, a little more, everyday.
Friday, December 16, 2005
as we walk
what is the point, you tell me, of sleeping in after an EXHAUSTING day walking about the entire northern region of singapore...
if the very next day, you meet your boyfriend at bishan, where he cheated you into meeting, thinking you're having dinner there, only to end up at newton circus hawker centre, then killing time by walking all the way to heerens? and when you're there you decide to walk to ORCHARD mrt to get the train from there? what's the point? hmm hmm hmm?
NO POINT LA I TELL YOU. NOOOOOOO POINT.
(i can think of a damn funny indian joke right now to go with that sentence but since i'm the one with the indian boyfriend i shall let all of you guess the joke. :P that way, i won't get the bad name! the winner wins a cookie!)
and now he wants me to give him a cookie, cuz he managed to sit through a 3 hour movie (king kong eh, not hindustan), despite going for a swim, a gym session, a sweltering walk in the hot sun, and a heavy carbo- loaded lunch. a cookie. pfft.
anyway walk was fun. what's new?
upon seeing the motorbike- totting ice- cream man outside heeren;
me: eh we ride the bike back la come. you sit inside that ice- cream thing there then i ride.
him: but you'll get cold.
me: noooo laaaa you go inside the ice- cream tub i bawak (ride).
him: huh? no no no! i will wawa, you sit inside the tub.
me: you what?????
him: wawa or whatever it was you said la.
me: HAHAHAHAHA bawak la!!!!
nonsense ponsense only this boy.
anyway a sneak preview;
coming soon in the zoos nearest to you.
what is the point, you tell me, of sleeping in after an EXHAUSTING day walking about the entire northern region of singapore...
if the very next day, you meet your boyfriend at bishan, where he cheated you into meeting, thinking you're having dinner there, only to end up at newton circus hawker centre, then killing time by walking all the way to heerens? and when you're there you decide to walk to ORCHARD mrt to get the train from there? what's the point? hmm hmm hmm?
NO POINT LA I TELL YOU. NOOOOOOO POINT.
(i can think of a damn funny indian joke right now to go with that sentence but since i'm the one with the indian boyfriend i shall let all of you guess the joke. :P that way, i won't get the bad name! the winner wins a cookie!)
and now he wants me to give him a cookie, cuz he managed to sit through a 3 hour movie (king kong eh, not hindustan), despite going for a swim, a gym session, a sweltering walk in the hot sun, and a heavy carbo- loaded lunch. a cookie. pfft.
anyway walk was fun. what's new?
upon seeing the motorbike- totting ice- cream man outside heeren;
me: eh we ride the bike back la come. you sit inside that ice- cream thing there then i ride.
him: but you'll get cold.
me: noooo laaaa you go inside the ice- cream tub i bawak (ride).
him: huh? no no no! i will wawa, you sit inside the tub.
me: you what?????
him: wawa or whatever it was you said la.
me: HAHAHAHAHA bawak la!!!!
nonsense ponsense only this boy.
anyway a sneak preview;
coming soon in the zoos nearest to you.
mentos freshness
slept like a baby after that tiring trip to the zoo and misled bus ride to northpoint starbucks.
woke up at 8 a.m., decided that NO, that is too early for the holidays, and made myself go back to sleep. :D woke up reluctantly at 12.45 p.m., when the boy messaged dinner plans. lazed in bed, read, surf, play iTunes, watch cartoons, text girls for next week's plans... all's good.
such a sweltering, hot day. can't wait for beach next week! let's see who wins the date; sara or suresh. hahaha. cuz he might leave for malaysia some time next week. dum dee da dee da.
15 days to the new year. SHIT IN YOUR PANTS ALL OF YOU! hahaha. 15 days. would you believe it? 2006. the year i turn 21. HOLY SHMOLY.
last year 15 days before 2005 i was contentedly living a life out of the ordinary in a cool, languid village in the northern thailand.
my mae and 'family' for 20 days. :)
the second biggest lake in thailand. lake phayao. lovely at sunset.
the boy i wanted to elope with. hehe. kang, the sweetest, funniest boy in ban tham.
and then of course, my new year's eve celebrations. absolutely bizzarre, but drop- dead hilarious. was probably a sign of things to come.
camwhoring at 3 a.m.
secondary schoolmates as company.
only a snippet of the madcap that was 31st Dec. 04. :)
aaaaaaand of course i made this.
won't make another this year, but i think its probably just some new faces, some thrown away. some definitely stayed.
wah lao its still damn hot la. how am i supposed to make it to the train station without sweating enough to keep an entire family in ethiopia hydrated?
speaking of which i think i wanna do volunteer work again. but maybe not at mendaki. there's a new place at tiong bahru i read about in the papers today. shall look into it. and better start looking for students already. SHOWWW ME THE MOOOOONEY.
ok la time to shower. still.very.hot. what pissy weather.
slept like a baby after that tiring trip to the zoo and misled bus ride to northpoint starbucks.
woke up at 8 a.m., decided that NO, that is too early for the holidays, and made myself go back to sleep. :D woke up reluctantly at 12.45 p.m., when the boy messaged dinner plans. lazed in bed, read, surf, play iTunes, watch cartoons, text girls for next week's plans... all's good.
such a sweltering, hot day. can't wait for beach next week! let's see who wins the date; sara or suresh. hahaha. cuz he might leave for malaysia some time next week. dum dee da dee da.
15 days to the new year. SHIT IN YOUR PANTS ALL OF YOU! hahaha. 15 days. would you believe it? 2006. the year i turn 21. HOLY SHMOLY.
last year 15 days before 2005 i was contentedly living a life out of the ordinary in a cool, languid village in the northern thailand.
my mae and 'family' for 20 days. :)
the second biggest lake in thailand. lake phayao. lovely at sunset.
the boy i wanted to elope with. hehe. kang, the sweetest, funniest boy in ban tham.
and then of course, my new year's eve celebrations. absolutely bizzarre, but drop- dead hilarious. was probably a sign of things to come.
camwhoring at 3 a.m.
secondary schoolmates as company.
only a snippet of the madcap that was 31st Dec. 04. :)
aaaaaaand of course i made this.
won't make another this year, but i think its probably just some new faces, some thrown away. some definitely stayed.
wah lao its still damn hot la. how am i supposed to make it to the train station without sweating enough to keep an entire family in ethiopia hydrated?
speaking of which i think i wanna do volunteer work again. but maybe not at mendaki. there's a new place at tiong bahru i read about in the papers today. shall look into it. and better start looking for students already. SHOWWW ME THE MOOOOONEY.
ok la time to shower. still.very.hot. what pissy weather.
on and on and on
this song makes me feel like i've swallowed a huge rock which weighs me down while i'm already drowning in the sea. yet its on repeat on iTunes now.
now will it be too much of me, to ask for you guys to call me up each time you hear this song so that we can sing along and cry together?
this song makes me feel like i've swallowed a huge rock which weighs me down while i'm already drowning in the sea. yet its on repeat on iTunes now.
... Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry
One Last Cry; Brian McKnight
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....
I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry
One Last Cry; Brian McKnight
now will it be too much of me, to ask for you guys to call me up each time you hear this song so that we can sing along and cry together?
Thursday, December 15, 2005
maybe this, maybe that
got back from zoo day. had a blast, so much fun. the best company in the world. couldn't ask for more. got him ya kun kaya toast and cheese crackers, and my little evian bottle kept us hydrated for the rest of the adventure.
and adventure it was, cuz we even encountered a SNAKE, no NOT in a glass case, but ON THE PATHWAY! wild and free! i shrieked of course, cuz HELLO. SNAKE CAN. scared la sia. and he was like, its a zoo what do you expect?
well its a ZOO so precisely why i expect my encounters with wildlife to be safely constrained by a GLASS CASE can.
heard the lion roared a few times which always fascinates and freaks me out at the same time. said hi to alfie, who is growing by the minute or something. alfie is the gigantickest croc i've seen. and its mouth was permanently open. freaky.
no reptiles released and the camels still stink, big- time. elephants are still gorgeous and i forgot to take a picture of them cuz i was too busy admiring it. but hey, we got something close to elephants. wait and see. i'm bigger than a baby pygmy hippo too, and i think that's something to be proud of.
adventures continued even post- zoo, when we had our lunch at pizza hut and thereby deciding to go sembawang park. with neither knowing where exactly it is, besides the fact that it is "along the MRT tracks." so we confidently alighted at sembawang, walked a few bus- stops, then decided to wait for a bus. the bus stop had two buses, 167 and 882, and i remembered they distinctively wrote 882 goes to sembawang park. but 167 came first so the maplek went up the bus and asked the driver if it goes by sembawang park. bus driver nodded, so we boarded.
once again, benefit of doubt FAILS terribly here when the bus entered sembawang road and headed towards UPPER THOMPSON. NOT sembawang park! so we freaked and alighted and ended up with coffee at starbucks northpoint.
what is beyond me is this. WHY IN THE BLUE HEAVENS WOULD THE BUS DRIVER LIE TO US?!?!?! WHY DID YOU SAY THE BUS GOES TO SEMBAWANG PARK WHEN IT CLEARLY DOESN'T?
i never felt so betrayed in my life. and by a bus driver, nonetheless. jeez. what a meanie. but not bad, coffee is never bad, and time with him, anywhere, doing anything, is never a waste.
had a good talk and more laughs then it was time to head back.
tired but happy, look forward to pictures of exes and animals (mutually exclusive) in the near future.
i need to shower now before i start smelling like a camel.
oh by the way i found the snake he almost stepped on if i hadn't shrieked. its a Rough Green Snake (Opheodrys aestivus), and it looks EXACTLY like this.
skinny and long. and VERY bright green. jeepers.
got back from zoo day. had a blast, so much fun. the best company in the world. couldn't ask for more. got him ya kun kaya toast and cheese crackers, and my little evian bottle kept us hydrated for the rest of the adventure.
and adventure it was, cuz we even encountered a SNAKE, no NOT in a glass case, but ON THE PATHWAY! wild and free! i shrieked of course, cuz HELLO. SNAKE CAN. scared la sia. and he was like, its a zoo what do you expect?
well its a ZOO so precisely why i expect my encounters with wildlife to be safely constrained by a GLASS CASE can.
heard the lion roared a few times which always fascinates and freaks me out at the same time. said hi to alfie, who is growing by the minute or something. alfie is the gigantickest croc i've seen. and its mouth was permanently open. freaky.
no reptiles released and the camels still stink, big- time. elephants are still gorgeous and i forgot to take a picture of them cuz i was too busy admiring it. but hey, we got something close to elephants. wait and see. i'm bigger than a baby pygmy hippo too, and i think that's something to be proud of.
adventures continued even post- zoo, when we had our lunch at pizza hut and thereby deciding to go sembawang park. with neither knowing where exactly it is, besides the fact that it is "along the MRT tracks." so we confidently alighted at sembawang, walked a few bus- stops, then decided to wait for a bus. the bus stop had two buses, 167 and 882, and i remembered they distinctively wrote 882 goes to sembawang park. but 167 came first so the maplek went up the bus and asked the driver if it goes by sembawang park. bus driver nodded, so we boarded.
once again, benefit of doubt FAILS terribly here when the bus entered sembawang road and headed towards UPPER THOMPSON. NOT sembawang park! so we freaked and alighted and ended up with coffee at starbucks northpoint.
what is beyond me is this. WHY IN THE BLUE HEAVENS WOULD THE BUS DRIVER LIE TO US?!?!?! WHY DID YOU SAY THE BUS GOES TO SEMBAWANG PARK WHEN IT CLEARLY DOESN'T?
i never felt so betrayed in my life. and by a bus driver, nonetheless. jeez. what a meanie. but not bad, coffee is never bad, and time with him, anywhere, doing anything, is never a waste.
had a good talk and more laughs then it was time to head back.
tired but happy, look forward to pictures of exes and animals (mutually exclusive) in the near future.
i need to shower now before i start smelling like a camel.
oh by the way i found the snake he almost stepped on if i hadn't shrieked. its a Rough Green Snake (Opheodrys aestivus), and it looks EXACTLY like this.
skinny and long. and VERY bright green. jeepers.
let's go to the zoo!
(AM 12:27) Me: oh god u know
(AM 12:27) Me: crocodiles
(AM 12:27) Me: in the zoo
(AM 12:27) Me: are huge
(AM 12:27) Me: asss
(AM 12:27) Me: hugeeeeeeeee
(AM 12:27) Me: like
(AM 12:27) Me: omg
(AM 12:27) Me: biggggg
(AM 12:27) Me: and scary
(AM 12:27) Me: they look
(AM 12:27) Me: scary
(AM 12:27) Me: and dangerous
(AM 12:28) Me: and one fo them is named
(AM 12:28) Me: alfie
(AM 12:28) Me: which is so MILD
(AM 12:28) Me: for a man eating beast
(AM 12:28) SuReSh: haha
(AM 12:28) SuReSh: that was alot of rapid typing
(AM 12:28) Me: oh right
(AM 12:28) Me: and remind me of that snake thing
(AM 12:28) Me: the one i banged my head agst
(AM 12:28) Me: in SHOCK
(AM 12:28) Me: and nearly died of heart attack
(AM 12:29) SuReSh: hmm ok we'll say hi to alfie tml too
(AM 12:29) Me: the last thing i wanna do is break e glass with my head
(AM 12:29) Me: and like release tt fucking snake
(AM 12:29) Me: and like
(AM 12:29) Me: okay.
(AM 12:29) Me: omg.
(AM 12:29) Me: that so cannot happen.
(AM 12:29) SuReSh: and i'll make sure you dont let any reptiles free
(AM 12:29) Me: okay.
(AM 12:29) Me: good.
(AM 12:30) Me: ummm
(AM 12:30) Me: and ex2 said
(AM 12:30) Me: the kangaroos spit
(AM 12:30) Me: at each other
(AM 12:30) Me: uhhh
(AM 12:30) Me: so make sure i don't get spat at.
(AM 12:30) SuReSh: okie
(AM 12:31) Me: okay.
(AM 12:31) Me: yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(AM 12:31) Me: zooooooooooooooooo
(AM 12:31) Me: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(AM 12:31) Me: GIRAFFES!
(AM 12:31) Me: they have giraffes now
(AM 12:32) Me: last time i went they weren't there
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: yea
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: they only came in this yr
(AM 12:32) Me: yeaaaaaaaaaa
(AM 12:32) Me: giraffesssssssssss
(AM 12:32) Me: rafffffffffff
(AM 12:32) Me: rafffffffffeeessssssss
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: i saw the posters eveytime on my way to and from camp
(AM 12:32) Me: hahahahaa
(AM 12:32) Me: okay.
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: ya went via that way what
(AM 12:32) Me: ok lor!
(AM 12:33) Me: but ur not a giraffe!
(AM 12:33) Me: i want a giraffe!
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: thankfully
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: eh kangaroo then now giraffe
(AM 12:33) Me: both?
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: no!
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: one only
(AM 12:34) Me: three?
(AM 12:34) Me: i want lion.
(AM 12:34) Me: oh no no no
(AM 12:34) Me: FOUR!
(AM 12:34) Me: elephun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: you forgot about the elephuns!!!!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: that pee
(AM 12:34) Me: like a firehose!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: OMG
(AM 12:34) Me: i hope we get to see an elephun peeing tmr
(AM 12:34) SuReSh: the highlight of any trip to the zoo
(AM 12:34) Me: really
(AM 12:35) Me: like firehose
(AM 12:35) Me: WHOOOOOOSH
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: seeing an elephant peeing
(AM 12:35) Me: BRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(AM 12:35) Me: alot
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: haha okok
(AM 12:35) Me: like ALOT
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: you're getting very excited
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D byeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(AM 12:27) Me: oh god u know
(AM 12:27) Me: crocodiles
(AM 12:27) Me: in the zoo
(AM 12:27) Me: are huge
(AM 12:27) Me: asss
(AM 12:27) Me: hugeeeeeeeee
(AM 12:27) Me: like
(AM 12:27) Me: omg
(AM 12:27) Me: biggggg
(AM 12:27) Me: and scary
(AM 12:27) Me: they look
(AM 12:27) Me: scary
(AM 12:27) Me: and dangerous
(AM 12:28) Me: and one fo them is named
(AM 12:28) Me: alfie
(AM 12:28) Me: which is so MILD
(AM 12:28) Me: for a man eating beast
(AM 12:28) SuReSh: haha
(AM 12:28) SuReSh: that was alot of rapid typing
(AM 12:28) Me: oh right
(AM 12:28) Me: and remind me of that snake thing
(AM 12:28) Me: the one i banged my head agst
(AM 12:28) Me: in SHOCK
(AM 12:28) Me: and nearly died of heart attack
(AM 12:29) SuReSh: hmm ok we'll say hi to alfie tml too
(AM 12:29) Me: the last thing i wanna do is break e glass with my head
(AM 12:29) Me: and like release tt fucking snake
(AM 12:29) Me: and like
(AM 12:29) Me: okay.
(AM 12:29) Me: omg.
(AM 12:29) Me: that so cannot happen.
(AM 12:29) SuReSh: and i'll make sure you dont let any reptiles free
(AM 12:29) Me: okay.
(AM 12:29) Me: good.
(AM 12:30) Me: ummm
(AM 12:30) Me: and ex2 said
(AM 12:30) Me: the kangaroos spit
(AM 12:30) Me: at each other
(AM 12:30) Me: uhhh
(AM 12:30) Me: so make sure i don't get spat at.
(AM 12:30) SuReSh: okie
(AM 12:31) Me: okay.
(AM 12:31) Me: yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(AM 12:31) Me: zooooooooooooooooo
(AM 12:31) Me: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(AM 12:31) Me: GIRAFFES!
(AM 12:31) Me: they have giraffes now
(AM 12:32) Me: last time i went they weren't there
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: yea
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: they only came in this yr
(AM 12:32) Me: yeaaaaaaaaaa
(AM 12:32) Me: giraffesssssssssss
(AM 12:32) Me: rafffffffffff
(AM 12:32) Me: rafffffffffeeessssssss
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: i saw the posters eveytime on my way to and from camp
(AM 12:32) Me: hahahahaa
(AM 12:32) Me: okay.
(AM 12:32) SuReSh: ya went via that way what
(AM 12:32) Me: ok lor!
(AM 12:33) Me: but ur not a giraffe!
(AM 12:33) Me: i want a giraffe!
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: thankfully
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: eh kangaroo then now giraffe
(AM 12:33) Me: both?
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: no!
(AM 12:33) SuReSh: one only
(AM 12:34) Me: three?
(AM 12:34) Me: i want lion.
(AM 12:34) Me: oh no no no
(AM 12:34) Me: FOUR!
(AM 12:34) Me: elephun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: you forgot about the elephuns!!!!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: that pee
(AM 12:34) Me: like a firehose!!!!!!!
(AM 12:34) Me: OMG
(AM 12:34) Me: i hope we get to see an elephun peeing tmr
(AM 12:34) SuReSh: the highlight of any trip to the zoo
(AM 12:34) Me: really
(AM 12:35) Me: like firehose
(AM 12:35) Me: WHOOOOOOSH
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: seeing an elephant peeing
(AM 12:35) Me: BRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(AM 12:35) Me: alot
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: haha okok
(AM 12:35) Me: like ALOT
(AM 12:35) SuReSh: you're getting very excited
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D byeeeeeeeeeeeee!
just a quickie.
since some people are quite curious as to how liking an indian boy and disliking smelly people can possibly go together; trust me THAT racist sentiment can't be any further from the truth.
smell is not a race thing dude, its a HYGIENE thing. so if you kinda like, NOT shower, and sweat alot, and lift your armpits around, THAT'S the smelly i'm talking about.
and if you REALLY need to know, well i LOVE how my boyfriend smells and maybe that's just another of my quirky nose thing again but hey, whatever makes me happy. :)
since some people are quite curious as to how liking an indian boy and disliking smelly people can possibly go together; trust me THAT racist sentiment can't be any further from the truth.
smell is not a race thing dude, its a HYGIENE thing. so if you kinda like, NOT shower, and sweat alot, and lift your armpits around, THAT'S the smelly i'm talking about.
and if you REALLY need to know, well i LOVE how my boyfriend smells and maybe that's just another of my quirky nose thing again but hey, whatever makes me happy. :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
i am damn damn damn damn damn tired
met lim and im. walked around town from 2- 10. 8 hours. that's like a job. goodness.
but it was all fun and great and i am glad i did it. :)
lotsa pictures, mainly of me and imran cuz we are camwhores. hahaha.
met hafiz in topman, went far east, coffee beaned at scotts, heerened, then taka-ed, then burger king liat towers. then yak yak then imran met us there. then it was balcony for me and him. dinner and desserts at cineleisure. all in all, well- spent.
pics will be uploaded once i return the camera to hana. but for now i still need it cuz tomorrow is zoo day! yay!
i am going to make sure THIS time the maplek gets my kangaroo.
speaking of maplek, two exes in a day = enough indian jokes to last a lifetime. thanks, boys. 'preciate it.
hafiz lim: you were like so anti- indian la last time. see what happened to you. you went to the dark side.
imran: eh the manager indian sia. you ask him for bill ah see we get discount or not.
that's just the start, don't let me go on.
at one point i was sitting at liat towers' bk, beside hafiz lim and across imran... and i just looked upwards and grinned. god's got a sense of humour, and i appreciate it. bygones are bygones, i am glad to have these guys in my life, as weird, gay, silly and annoying as they are.
most importantly i'm glad the maplek understands. off to the zoo we are then. :))
nights world!
met lim and im. walked around town from 2- 10. 8 hours. that's like a job. goodness.
but it was all fun and great and i am glad i did it. :)
lotsa pictures, mainly of me and imran cuz we are camwhores. hahaha.
met hafiz in topman, went far east, coffee beaned at scotts, heerened, then taka-ed, then burger king liat towers. then yak yak then imran met us there. then it was balcony for me and him. dinner and desserts at cineleisure. all in all, well- spent.
pics will be uploaded once i return the camera to hana. but for now i still need it cuz tomorrow is zoo day! yay!
i am going to make sure THIS time the maplek gets my kangaroo.
speaking of maplek, two exes in a day = enough indian jokes to last a lifetime. thanks, boys. 'preciate it.
hafiz lim: you were like so anti- indian la last time. see what happened to you. you went to the dark side.
imran: eh the manager indian sia. you ask him for bill ah see we get discount or not.
that's just the start, don't let me go on.
at one point i was sitting at liat towers' bk, beside hafiz lim and across imran... and i just looked upwards and grinned. god's got a sense of humour, and i appreciate it. bygones are bygones, i am glad to have these guys in my life, as weird, gay, silly and annoying as they are.
most importantly i'm glad the maplek understands. off to the zoo we are then. :))
nights world!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
that's what friends are for
yeap, they're for wailing in cars to classic old malay rock songs, and letting them see your tears fall to a sad song.
ok er i just discovered something. okay. oh my god. er okay. never mind. hahahaha.
anyway i had a GREAT time today. was supposed to meet hafiz in town. he was late so i waited for him at the benches across wisma.
as i sat and wait, two filipino tai- tais walked past me. staring. weird, but i let it pass and continued reading my papers.
then they came back, plopped themselves on each side of me (giving me no options of ESCAPE), and sat. and i was like... ................ i dunno.
then one of them asked how to go bishan, blablabla. civic- conscious person that i am, i told them how to take the train, where to buy tickets. there. done. and they smiled, said okay. and sat there.
..................
then i looked at the one who asked me for directions, hoping to get an answer as to why they're flagging me like two bookends.
then she smiled. i smiled back nervously. silence.
this is WEIRD. okay? DAMN WEIRD.
then the other one asked me, "are you filipina?"
?!@@?!?#ert4jietrmfg#$%%^U$$@#Q#$$%Ytghbjoi4w%^Y&T.
i dunno what bit of me looked filipina to them, but if you ask me they were just being randomly crazy. it happens. these people like me. cuz i look like a fellow random crazies. sad but true.
anyway FINALLY the same one who asked if i'm filipino said, "okay let's go," and they left. WEIRD.
i don't really know what to say cuz that whole thing was just... whacked.
anyway then hafiz fetched me at far east in the end cuz we didn't want to eat in town cuz i decided i can't survive a day in town if i keep attracting psychos. so we went raffles burger king, packed our lunch, and ate it in secluded peace at marina south. sat and yakked and discussed our ideas. :)) exciting stuff!
drove down to harbourfront to get my camera fixed, then it was a long drive to thompson, complete with traffic jams. and along this drive we sang along to all sorts of songs, murdered most, and got teary on this one.
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Heaven Knows; Rick Price
sad right.
classic okay. classic until can cry.
two of us also quite sad la. like that also want to cry. haha. for the record i really cried. like tears. so sad. hahaha.
finally arrived at thompson where we had ice- cream at swensens' and yakked and laughed some more. happy days.
tomorrow i meet hafiz lim and imran jalal. two exes. two very different guys. same significance. haven't seen lim since my birthday dinner last september, haven't met imran since pjc awards ceremony. this is going to be interesting, for lack of better words.
let's all hope all goes well. :)
good night all.
yeap, they're for wailing in cars to classic old malay rock songs, and letting them see your tears fall to a sad song.
ok er i just discovered something. okay. oh my god. er okay. never mind. hahahaha.
anyway i had a GREAT time today. was supposed to meet hafiz in town. he was late so i waited for him at the benches across wisma.
as i sat and wait, two filipino tai- tais walked past me. staring. weird, but i let it pass and continued reading my papers.
then they came back, plopped themselves on each side of me (giving me no options of ESCAPE), and sat. and i was like... ................ i dunno.
then one of them asked how to go bishan, blablabla. civic- conscious person that i am, i told them how to take the train, where to buy tickets. there. done. and they smiled, said okay. and sat there.
..................
then i looked at the one who asked me for directions, hoping to get an answer as to why they're flagging me like two bookends.
then she smiled. i smiled back nervously. silence.
this is WEIRD. okay? DAMN WEIRD.
then the other one asked me, "are you filipina?"
?!@@?!?#ert4jietrmfg#$%%^U$$@#Q#$$%Ytghbjoi4w%^Y&T.
i dunno what bit of me looked filipina to them, but if you ask me they were just being randomly crazy. it happens. these people like me. cuz i look like a fellow random crazies. sad but true.
anyway FINALLY the same one who asked if i'm filipino said, "okay let's go," and they left. WEIRD.
i don't really know what to say cuz that whole thing was just... whacked.
anyway then hafiz fetched me at far east in the end cuz we didn't want to eat in town cuz i decided i can't survive a day in town if i keep attracting psychos. so we went raffles burger king, packed our lunch, and ate it in secluded peace at marina south. sat and yakked and discussed our ideas. :)) exciting stuff!
drove down to harbourfront to get my camera fixed, then it was a long drive to thompson, complete with traffic jams. and along this drive we sang along to all sorts of songs, murdered most, and got teary on this one.
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Heaven Knows; Rick Price
sad right.
classic okay. classic until can cry.
two of us also quite sad la. like that also want to cry. haha. for the record i really cried. like tears. so sad. hahaha.
finally arrived at thompson where we had ice- cream at swensens' and yakked and laughed some more. happy days.
tomorrow i meet hafiz lim and imran jalal. two exes. two very different guys. same significance. haven't seen lim since my birthday dinner last september, haven't met imran since pjc awards ceremony. this is going to be interesting, for lack of better words.
let's all hope all goes well. :)
good night all.
what now?
if we both hold on as long as we want to there might be no end to this, but if we end it against our own wishes it seems mighty silly too. why make a big melodrama of it all when all we can do is just be together and be happy? its hard enough to find a guy who can make me happy, it seems pointless to let him go cuz he might not be able to do it for an eternity. that future might or might not come. maybe i'd die in 5 years' time. why worry about this then? you'll still get to marry your brahmin girl as your parents want. i get to happily watch everything from somewhere else, with someone i've missed alot. its all good.
i apologize for the terrible analogy but i need to get my point across, that from the start we said we're in this for the here and now, for the joy we give each other by being together now. and as long as the here and now is fine, i don't think we should lose the plot and start fretting about the 'future' and blablabla. i'm getting sick of it too. if it comes it comes if it doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be la.
let's go back to basics, which we do best anyway.
Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late...
I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
This way...
should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do
Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too, for me too
Back to You; John Mayer
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late...
I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
This way...
should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do
Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too, for me too
Back to You; John Mayer
if we both hold on as long as we want to there might be no end to this, but if we end it against our own wishes it seems mighty silly too. why make a big melodrama of it all when all we can do is just be together and be happy? its hard enough to find a guy who can make me happy, it seems pointless to let him go cuz he might not be able to do it for an eternity. that future might or might not come. maybe i'd die in 5 years' time. why worry about this then? you'll still get to marry your brahmin girl as your parents want. i get to happily watch everything from somewhere else, with someone i've missed alot. its all good.
i apologize for the terrible analogy but i need to get my point across, that from the start we said we're in this for the here and now, for the joy we give each other by being together now. and as long as the here and now is fine, i don't think we should lose the plot and start fretting about the 'future' and blablabla. i'm getting sick of it too. if it comes it comes if it doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be la.
let's go back to basics, which we do best anyway.
Monday, December 12, 2005
happiness
is what you can give, and i shan't ask for more. que sera sera, if it ends, it ends. but at least i know every day with you was spent basked in happiness. and i can't give that up for anything, not even for the eventual pain that the future might bring. till then let me hope, and i want you to hope, and i will constantly pray for that miracle that will one day let us have what we want. and if it never happens then maybe this happiness was all we were meant to have. i will never be sad, knowing you were the happiest thing that happened to me. instead of brooding on the future we might never share, i want to look forward to the many days we will have, as long as we can have.
more interesting news;
i am meeting two of my ex thingies this wednesday. consecutively. who guesses right wins a cookie! but cannot cheat and ask me on msn horrrr. :)
and mum, you are NOT eligible for this competition.
many laughter, many tears, many smiles and too many comfortable silences in between that only serves to remind me what i might not have forever. ah well. maybe its time to believe in hope.
tis' the season to be jolly, non?
is what you can give, and i shan't ask for more. que sera sera, if it ends, it ends. but at least i know every day with you was spent basked in happiness. and i can't give that up for anything, not even for the eventual pain that the future might bring. till then let me hope, and i want you to hope, and i will constantly pray for that miracle that will one day let us have what we want. and if it never happens then maybe this happiness was all we were meant to have. i will never be sad, knowing you were the happiest thing that happened to me. instead of brooding on the future we might never share, i want to look forward to the many days we will have, as long as we can have.
more interesting news;
i am meeting two of my ex thingies this wednesday. consecutively. who guesses right wins a cookie! but cannot cheat and ask me on msn horrrr. :)
and mum, you are NOT eligible for this competition.
many laughter, many tears, many smiles and too many comfortable silences in between that only serves to remind me what i might not have forever. ah well. maybe its time to believe in hope.
tis' the season to be jolly, non?
sometimes the same old thing gets boring, and you find yourself missing the days of change.
constancy becomes dry and lacklustre, and you wish it felt new again.
"but you were so happy with simplicity," you say, "those days just simple things were fine."
but this simplicity brought onto itself a clockwork regularity, a predictable pattern so embedded in mind.
"so what do you want?" "where shall we go?"
if you have to ask, then you'll never know.
constancy becomes dry and lacklustre, and you wish it felt new again.
"but you were so happy with simplicity," you say, "those days just simple things were fine."
but this simplicity brought onto itself a clockwork regularity, a predictable pattern so embedded in mind.
"so what do you want?" "where shall we go?"
if you have to ask, then you'll never know.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
run fiza run!
couldn't sleep last night so at 5.30 a.m. i changed into three- quarters and a big, baggy, yellow sweatshirt and ran around my neighbourhood. i think i clocked about 3k, which is not bad, considering the last time i ran was like months ago.
and i managed to increase the pace on the final click, boosted by the adrenaline rush i guess. and though i was flat- out exhausted by the end of it, i felt great and i hope i can keep this up at least for the holidays. and maybe run once a week in school. ahem. hafizzzzzzz!
it was raining pretty heavily. not too heavy that vision was blurry, but it wasn't exactly a light drizzle. when i stepped out in the rain and pulled over my hoodie i felt like eminem in 8 mile. hahahaha.
spent the rest of the day sleeping, eating, watching tv, sleeping, watching tv. cool uh. this is what i call a holiday.
unforetunately a chinese funeral has been going on for days at the block across and i actually ran past it at dawn. quite scary. but point is they're like singing now, with cymbals and the whole thingamajig, and its giving me the heebeejeebees.
i have a date tomorrooooooooow. lalalalala. i know. i very action cuz i got boyfriend. hahahaha. i know other people also have but i happy la can. i want to eksyen. shh. leave me alone.
aiyo the funeral duds are gaining momentum and their voices are getting louder. are they singing in any language in particular, or do they just make random noises? what i hear now is alot like, "ahhh aaahh ahhhh, ngelooo ngelooo ba sa kaaaa... ehh ehhh ehhh... *drum beats* *cymbals* ngo hoo ngaaaa aaah ahhh ahhh ahhh *cymbals* *drums* ngooo ooo oooo oooh, ngoo ah sha aaaahh..."
goodness! drums and cymbals are like, doing a drumroll or something! chill dudes. its not an aerosmith concert you know.
another thing i've always been curious about and maybe my chinese friends can assist me here; why chinese funerals always have those cheap good morning pasar malam towels hung around? any particular significance?
dum dee da dee da. oh here's a GREAT snack i am more than pleased to share with all of you. all you need is;
vanilla ice- cream,
smooth peanut butter,
cereal of your choice.
for me tonight i had koko crunch in hand so what i do is i crush it lightly, before opening the packet. not until it gets crumbly, but just so it becomes smaller, crunchier bits. once that is done, pour this crushed cereal in a bowl. take 3 spoonfuls (or more, if you've got a sweeeeet tooth) of smooth (crunchy does fine too, i just prefer smooth) peanut butter, and mix it all up. once you've got a relatively smooth mixture, take chunks of ice- cream and mix it all up. try not to stir too much or the ice cream would melt. what i do is i pour a third of peanut butter/ cereal mix, slap a dollop of ice- cream over it, pour another third, then another dollop, last third, and one big dollop. kinda like layering it. and thennnnnn,
TUCK IN!
try it. it rock balls, cherries, and any other small, circular objects you can think of.
ho ho ho nuh- uh, don't go there. ;)
helloooooooooo monday.
couldn't sleep last night so at 5.30 a.m. i changed into three- quarters and a big, baggy, yellow sweatshirt and ran around my neighbourhood. i think i clocked about 3k, which is not bad, considering the last time i ran was like months ago.
and i managed to increase the pace on the final click, boosted by the adrenaline rush i guess. and though i was flat- out exhausted by the end of it, i felt great and i hope i can keep this up at least for the holidays. and maybe run once a week in school. ahem. hafizzzzzzz!
it was raining pretty heavily. not too heavy that vision was blurry, but it wasn't exactly a light drizzle. when i stepped out in the rain and pulled over my hoodie i felt like eminem in 8 mile. hahahaha.
spent the rest of the day sleeping, eating, watching tv, sleeping, watching tv. cool uh. this is what i call a holiday.
unforetunately a chinese funeral has been going on for days at the block across and i actually ran past it at dawn. quite scary. but point is they're like singing now, with cymbals and the whole thingamajig, and its giving me the heebeejeebees.
i have a date tomorrooooooooow. lalalalala. i know. i very action cuz i got boyfriend. hahahaha. i know other people also have but i happy la can. i want to eksyen. shh. leave me alone.
aiyo the funeral duds are gaining momentum and their voices are getting louder. are they singing in any language in particular, or do they just make random noises? what i hear now is alot like, "ahhh aaahh ahhhh, ngelooo ngelooo ba sa kaaaa... ehh ehhh ehhh... *drum beats* *cymbals* ngo hoo ngaaaa aaah ahhh ahhh ahhh *cymbals* *drums* ngooo ooo oooo oooh, ngoo ah sha aaaahh..."
goodness! drums and cymbals are like, doing a drumroll or something! chill dudes. its not an aerosmith concert you know.
another thing i've always been curious about and maybe my chinese friends can assist me here; why chinese funerals always have those cheap good morning pasar malam towels hung around? any particular significance?
dum dee da dee da. oh here's a GREAT snack i am more than pleased to share with all of you. all you need is;
vanilla ice- cream,
smooth peanut butter,
cereal of your choice.
for me tonight i had koko crunch in hand so what i do is i crush it lightly, before opening the packet. not until it gets crumbly, but just so it becomes smaller, crunchier bits. once that is done, pour this crushed cereal in a bowl. take 3 spoonfuls (or more, if you've got a sweeeeet tooth) of smooth (crunchy does fine too, i just prefer smooth) peanut butter, and mix it all up. once you've got a relatively smooth mixture, take chunks of ice- cream and mix it all up. try not to stir too much or the ice cream would melt. what i do is i pour a third of peanut butter/ cereal mix, slap a dollop of ice- cream over it, pour another third, then another dollop, last third, and one big dollop. kinda like layering it. and thennnnnn,
TUCK IN!
try it. it rock balls, cherries, and any other small, circular objects you can think of.
ho ho ho nuh- uh, don't go there. ;)
helloooooooooo monday.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
go go morientesss
if you sing it out loud it actually fits the tune of, "go go power rangers..." heh.
yesyes liverpool won, 2- 0. both morientes goals. pretty cool stuff, but now my throat is sore.
waiting for chelsea match against wigan. wigan have quite the fighting spirit, and i hope they at least hold chelsea down to a drawn match. that'll be nice. two draws in last 2 matches should annoy jose. as you can see, he annoys the kennanys out of me. bah.
waiting for mum to come back with my chocolates and instant noodles. soccer food. yeah i know. sometimes i wonder too if i'm truly a man deep inside. ah well.
more ways in which i'm a man:
whiny girls really annoy me. especially when they whine over rubbish like, "my boyfriend is sleeping... he's not talking on the phone to me... blablablablabla." irritating you know. humans need sleep can? even i sleep alot. and so does maplek. but then again we hardly talk on the phone. but we sms alot okay. hmm but i can't even remember our last phone call. hahahaha. ohhhh okay at the airport. yeap. there.
i am not expressive when it comes to emotions. getting me to call affectionate names and tender sweet nothings is like trying to squeeze a gorilla into a mini- fridge. names of past exes include; kemetot (short), belo (silly), mengong (a variation of silly), ngekngok (silly) and recently, maplek. so yes. affectionate i am not.
i don't see the point in gifts and buying stuff for your girlfriend. i mean, if she wants it so bad she can go bloody buy it herself. brat. oh but feeding her is good. especially feeding her alot. of. good. food. :))
i think eating is one of the best thing in the world. next to soccer and reading. yeah shopping is really not that high on that priority list. if i had a thousand dollars, first thing i'd do is have my favourite buffet, then buy as many liverpool memoribilia as i can, buy books, and then get a top or two from topshop.
i admire hot women. i have extremely high taste in women. and i go to victoria secret's website pretty often. not mainly to look at lingerie. heh. hot okay.
i don't like heels. i hate heels. heels are evil. but i think men like heels. oh well.
i can't think of anymore. cuz i want to want to watch miss world.
laters!
if you sing it out loud it actually fits the tune of, "go go power rangers..." heh.
yesyes liverpool won, 2- 0. both morientes goals. pretty cool stuff, but now my throat is sore.
waiting for chelsea match against wigan. wigan have quite the fighting spirit, and i hope they at least hold chelsea down to a drawn match. that'll be nice. two draws in last 2 matches should annoy jose. as you can see, he annoys the kennanys out of me. bah.
waiting for mum to come back with my chocolates and instant noodles. soccer food. yeah i know. sometimes i wonder too if i'm truly a man deep inside. ah well.
more ways in which i'm a man:
whiny girls really annoy me. especially when they whine over rubbish like, "my boyfriend is sleeping... he's not talking on the phone to me... blablablablabla." irritating you know. humans need sleep can? even i sleep alot. and so does maplek. but then again we hardly talk on the phone. but we sms alot okay. hmm but i can't even remember our last phone call. hahahaha. ohhhh okay at the airport. yeap. there.
i am not expressive when it comes to emotions. getting me to call affectionate names and tender sweet nothings is like trying to squeeze a gorilla into a mini- fridge. names of past exes include; kemetot (short), belo (silly), mengong (a variation of silly), ngekngok (silly) and recently, maplek. so yes. affectionate i am not.
i don't see the point in gifts and buying stuff for your girlfriend. i mean, if she wants it so bad she can go bloody buy it herself. brat. oh but feeding her is good. especially feeding her alot. of. good. food. :))
i think eating is one of the best thing in the world. next to soccer and reading. yeah shopping is really not that high on that priority list. if i had a thousand dollars, first thing i'd do is have my favourite buffet, then buy as many liverpool memoribilia as i can, buy books, and then get a top or two from topshop.
i admire hot women. i have extremely high taste in women. and i go to victoria secret's website pretty often. not mainly to look at lingerie. heh. hot okay.
i don't like heels. i hate heels. heels are evil. but i think men like heels. oh well.
i can't think of anymore. cuz i want to want to watch miss world.
laters!
lazy days
today i shall stay at home and clean my room and change my bedsheets then make my mum buy root beer and junk food cuz got LIVERPOOL game tonight! early kick- off. then got MORE games to watch thereafter. so this is soccer day. yay!
the boy is with his best friend playing soccer. he said he wanted to try out his new boots which he bought just days before falling sick. and the best friend wants to test out his KNEE which has been wonky for some time. and i said,
"you know you can kill two birds with one stone if you just kick him with your boots to test the studs, and kick it at his knee, to test his knees."
brilliant, non?
yesterday when my mum came back she asked me what we did and how he is etc.
me: ok la he had fun. oh i think he like more handsome. i think its the weather.
mum: kau sorang je la cakap matair kau handsome. (only you would say your boyfriend is handsome.)
me: ye la orang lain tak nak cakap fi cakap la. (ya la other people don't want to say so i say la.)
but he is okay! his hair very nice. i hope this stops one day, i don't ever remember gushing over any other ex- boyfriends of mine while i was with them. haha. maybe that's why they're exes. dumdeedadeeda.
speaking of which. i think times are bad for some people out there and lord knows i want to reach out. but you know i can't and i won't. if you need me i'm here but i'm never going to make that one step towards you first. as it is i've tried all i can to stay out of the way and yet they've found means to entangle me in this. so i'm not even going to try to stick my feet into this swirling mess, but if you need me, you know how to get to me.
i hope for someone to come along and heal you of your pain, your tears, your sadness, your feelings of rejection, everything that makes you so sad and empty. i hope for the day when you can know and taste what real happiness is. i hope as i speak friends rally around you to give you support, and be there for you as i know they can. i hope you can still find a way to be happy despite all this. cuz its never over, and you must go on. i want you to be happy. that hasn't change.
some people throw doubts about me and suresh. from the start, everyone figured it'll never last. fiza will have her fun and she'd be done. i guess that might be true, but i guess this fun is going on for a pretty long time. my point is, people assumed the worst for us because we are of different ethnicity, and maybe the way we got together. and of course my history with men. and i hope by now people can see how a really, really, really, great, fantastic and almost- perfect guy, can change even the worst of the kind.
kinda means there's hope yet, for everyone else out there, since there is hope yet, for me. :)
today i shall stay at home and clean my room and change my bedsheets then make my mum buy root beer and junk food cuz got LIVERPOOL game tonight! early kick- off. then got MORE games to watch thereafter. so this is soccer day. yay!
the boy is with his best friend playing soccer. he said he wanted to try out his new boots which he bought just days before falling sick. and the best friend wants to test out his KNEE which has been wonky for some time. and i said,
"you know you can kill two birds with one stone if you just kick him with your boots to test the studs, and kick it at his knee, to test his knees."
brilliant, non?
yesterday when my mum came back she asked me what we did and how he is etc.
me: ok la he had fun. oh i think he like more handsome. i think its the weather.
mum: kau sorang je la cakap matair kau handsome. (only you would say your boyfriend is handsome.)
me: ye la orang lain tak nak cakap fi cakap la. (ya la other people don't want to say so i say la.)
but he is okay! his hair very nice. i hope this stops one day, i don't ever remember gushing over any other ex- boyfriends of mine while i was with them. haha. maybe that's why they're exes. dumdeedadeeda.
speaking of which. i think times are bad for some people out there and lord knows i want to reach out. but you know i can't and i won't. if you need me i'm here but i'm never going to make that one step towards you first. as it is i've tried all i can to stay out of the way and yet they've found means to entangle me in this. so i'm not even going to try to stick my feet into this swirling mess, but if you need me, you know how to get to me.
i hope for someone to come along and heal you of your pain, your tears, your sadness, your feelings of rejection, everything that makes you so sad and empty. i hope for the day when you can know and taste what real happiness is. i hope as i speak friends rally around you to give you support, and be there for you as i know they can. i hope you can still find a way to be happy despite all this. cuz its never over, and you must go on. i want you to be happy. that hasn't change.
some people throw doubts about me and suresh. from the start, everyone figured it'll never last. fiza will have her fun and she'd be done. i guess that might be true, but i guess this fun is going on for a pretty long time. my point is, people assumed the worst for us because we are of different ethnicity, and maybe the way we got together. and of course my history with men. and i hope by now people can see how a really, really, really, great, fantastic and almost- perfect guy, can change even the worst of the kind.
kinda means there's hope yet, for everyone else out there, since there is hope yet, for me. :)
Friday, December 09, 2005
sun shines again
met him in the morning and just hung out together for hours. then it was dinner at pastamania. why am i not surprised?
he got me a kangaroo. SOFT TOY. harumph.
showed me pictures from his trip and told stories. told him mine. and basically we just talked. alot. we're so freaky like that. we don't have communication issues, but we have time shortage. too much to say and too little time.
after dinner took the bus back cuz his car was parked at my place. yeah i wanted to leave the kangaroo at my house. no way am i walking around in public with it!
then we had time to kill so we drove up to the top of the multi- storey carpark and sat down. and talked. and talked. till the sun set and his dad was almost home and he had to head back. i like talking. hahahaha.
me: you're so hairy. haha.
him: haha yes very insightful of you.
me: should send you for full body wax.
him: ya ya.
me: eh cannot they'll charge double. *imitates salon lady* there may be only one of you to wax, but there's enough hair for three men!
HAHAHAHA.
about a girlfriend of mine;
"she'd whack any guy okay. she likes all types. even indians, as long as they're not hairy. but that's an oxymoron."
he showed a picture of the grampians, and how once at the top the bus dude said, "you guys follow this route down and i'd meet you all at the bus." so they had to climb down rocks and shit to get down. and he said, "and of course the two army- trained personnels had to lead la."
he clicked next and a picture of two kangaroos came.
"is that the two army personnels?"
hahahahaha. well i like kangaroos so if i call you and your best bud a kangaroo it HAS to be a compliment.
we talked about him killing quails in brunei. and i said,
"yeah i saw a picture of it, my friend haqeem went brunei and killed one."
"huh so fast? i thought you said he just finished BMT?"
"not THAT hakim! this is another haqeem. ruzainah haqeem. pjc one."
"ohhh okay."
"yeah there's 4 hakims' in my life okay?"
"uhh okay."
"yeah comforting i know."
so nothing much to report besides the fact that i got a kangaroo and my favourite boy is back. it was great to see the sky in a myriad colours while sitting cozy in your arms. we have zoo plans! :D:D:D:D but must wait for my camera to be fixed. and OOOOOOOH beach! HAFIZZZZ! you hear me? BEACH!
(oh another thing hafiz, he wants to do basic openwater too. diving. so i'd look into the costs then maybe we three can do it. then tioman for openwater cert. coolies.)
coolies is not coli. just.in.case.
well so that's that. and i've been tagged. i dunno why you bother hana, i am so normal and unweird. i have no answers! but i'll try.
Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/ random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people who you want next to this and leave the comment, "YOU ARE TAGGED," in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules.
So here's 5 really, really weird/random stuffs:
1. ok i can be VERY VERY anal. for e.g., this tag from hana came like this...
"....... stuff abt yourself.... list the names of 5 ppl..."
and i edited it to ABOUT and PEOPLE. unless i am feeling extremely extremely lazy, i will not type in shortforms cuz it annoys me. and cuz is not a shortform its an acceptable word okay. cuz i say so. i type YOU not U, together not TOG, hahahahaahahha not LOL. and more. i am also a spelling bee prick. its very common to see me correcting my typos on msn even though i know the other party gets my point. i CANNOT allow myself typos, as long as i've noticed it. this analness is not limited to typing needs but i think that's enough for today.
2. i don't like flowers all that much, but i reserve particular distaste for roses. why? too many reasons. mainly because an ex once went crazy with the roses and got me a bouquet of 12 and 6 single stalks, all in the process of asking me to get back together with him. it is a horrifying memory in retrospect, and the smell of my room for weeks after that incident left permanent scarring. the smell of roses (alive, rotten, dried, whatever) is mentally damaging, and its a big reason why valentine's day is such a harrowing experience for me. ALL! THAT! ROSES! AAAAAAARGH!
3. this is another part of analness but i must must mention this cuz it is so IMPORTANT AND PART OF DAY- TO- DAY LIFE. when i eat at fast food joints, i have my own way of opening the chili packets. i cannot stand people who tear it halfway, let the torn bit dangle, and squeeze the chili packet half- heartedly and then chuck it aside. NO CANNOT! you must TEAR IT APART fully, means one crescent moon shape of plastic is torn away, and then press the chili packet from BOTTOM right down to the tear. DO NOT WASTE CHILI SAUCE. and if you really cannot tear it fully away, HOLD DOWN the half- torn bit while you squeeze. so that it do not get entangled in the mess of chili coming out. THIS IS IMPORTANT okay. till now suresh still can't open the chili packets for me when we eat at burger king or kfc. like i tell him, "no point breaking up over chili sauce, so just let me do it."
**i also have my own methodology when it comes to eating mcD's hotcakes. takes me about half an hour at least. to START eating. long preparation process. don't ask.
4. i can balance a spoon on my ears and nose. suresh said i can join the circus but i figured no one would pay to watch that.
"oooooh i can do it naked!" "um yeah people will pay for that." "yeahhhhhh then i can hang them on my breasts and knees too! GOD i'm a brilliant entrepeneur."
i'm not sure which is weirder, the hanging bit or the fact that i think i should do it naked but i am full of ideas like that, as well as useful talents, like said spoon- balancing acts. i can also do a fascinating variation of the chicken dance when liverpool has scored a goal, an improvisation on a lion dance and malay dance when holding an umbrella, and any random ballet pose, while walking. i am so talented i know.
5. i talk to myself. out loud or mentally. and no its not like normal, "okay fiza you can do this." they tend to do a, "wah laooo fiza... damn lame la you." sometimes there's even an, "okay i know this i know this dammit i know this why can't i remember?!?!" i have many personas and they have even argued among themselves several times. i cite from a previous entry, a common manifestation of this occurance, which i've come to label the triple conscience. there's more than 3 of course, but they come and go. this 3 stick around.
"see i have a triple conscience; one goes, "but fiza, this book is CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED!" and the other one goes, "PFFFT. you're gonna be disappointed. and you know it." then i decide not to get it and then after a while my third conscience goes, "sheesh do you HAVE to be so anti- mainstream? would it kill you to read what the general public are reading?" and then i go all defensive and say, "i'm not anti- mainstream! i'm fine with mainstream! i like the mainstream!" then end up feeling pretty schizo.
and this triple conscience is not just limited to book- reading, but applies to many other things as well. like in dreams. sometimes i'd dream that i'm a writer, and my first conscience go, "aaah a dream that you're writing. see this is so freudian. you dream of the thing you oppress in reality, the fact that you want to be a writer!" then my second conscience (its the cynical one, you'd notice), "oh PLEASE fiza, its just a dream, don't look so deep into it. just enjoy the sleep you're getting, will ya?" and then the third conscience (the righteous one) goes, "would it kill you to just ENJOY a little? DREAM a little? its a dream dammit can't you just be happy? dreams aren't supposed to be real anyway!" and i wake up confused wondering why my brain won't give me a break even while i sleep."
see i told you i'm not weird. now for the five more WEIRDOS to tag;
1. Nazri; cuz you need to WRITE
2. Hizuan; cuz you're WEIRD
3. Laremy; cuz you're WEIRD
4. Nydia; cuz you're WEIRD
5. Hazimah when she returns; cuz she's WEIRD enough to like this blog
there you are. off you go now, weirdos!
met him in the morning and just hung out together for hours. then it was dinner at pastamania. why am i not surprised?
he got me a kangaroo. SOFT TOY. harumph.
showed me pictures from his trip and told stories. told him mine. and basically we just talked. alot. we're so freaky like that. we don't have communication issues, but we have time shortage. too much to say and too little time.
after dinner took the bus back cuz his car was parked at my place. yeah i wanted to leave the kangaroo at my house. no way am i walking around in public with it!
then we had time to kill so we drove up to the top of the multi- storey carpark and sat down. and talked. and talked. till the sun set and his dad was almost home and he had to head back. i like talking. hahahaha.
me: you're so hairy. haha.
him: haha yes very insightful of you.
me: should send you for full body wax.
him: ya ya.
me: eh cannot they'll charge double. *imitates salon lady* there may be only one of you to wax, but there's enough hair for three men!
HAHAHAHA.
about a girlfriend of mine;
"she'd whack any guy okay. she likes all types. even indians, as long as they're not hairy. but that's an oxymoron."
he showed a picture of the grampians, and how once at the top the bus dude said, "you guys follow this route down and i'd meet you all at the bus." so they had to climb down rocks and shit to get down. and he said, "and of course the two army- trained personnels had to lead la."
he clicked next and a picture of two kangaroos came.
"is that the two army personnels?"
hahahahaha. well i like kangaroos so if i call you and your best bud a kangaroo it HAS to be a compliment.
we talked about him killing quails in brunei. and i said,
"yeah i saw a picture of it, my friend haqeem went brunei and killed one."
"huh so fast? i thought you said he just finished BMT?"
"not THAT hakim! this is another haqeem. ruzainah haqeem. pjc one."
"ohhh okay."
"yeah there's 4 hakims' in my life okay?"
"uhh okay."
"yeah comforting i know."
so nothing much to report besides the fact that i got a kangaroo and my favourite boy is back. it was great to see the sky in a myriad colours while sitting cozy in your arms. we have zoo plans! :D:D:D:D but must wait for my camera to be fixed. and OOOOOOOH beach! HAFIZZZZ! you hear me? BEACH!
(oh another thing hafiz, he wants to do basic openwater too. diving. so i'd look into the costs then maybe we three can do it. then tioman for openwater cert. coolies.)
coolies is not coli. just.in.case.
well so that's that. and i've been tagged. i dunno why you bother hana, i am so normal and unweird. i have no answers! but i'll try.
Rules of the game:
1. Post 5 weird/ random stuff about yourself.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people who you want next to this and leave the comment, "YOU ARE TAGGED," in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules.
So here's 5 really, really weird/random stuffs:
1. ok i can be VERY VERY anal. for e.g., this tag from hana came like this...
"....... stuff abt yourself.... list the names of 5 ppl..."
and i edited it to ABOUT and PEOPLE. unless i am feeling extremely extremely lazy, i will not type in shortforms cuz it annoys me. and cuz is not a shortform its an acceptable word okay. cuz i say so. i type YOU not U, together not TOG, hahahahaahahha not LOL. and more. i am also a spelling bee prick. its very common to see me correcting my typos on msn even though i know the other party gets my point. i CANNOT allow myself typos, as long as i've noticed it. this analness is not limited to typing needs but i think that's enough for today.
2. i don't like flowers all that much, but i reserve particular distaste for roses. why? too many reasons. mainly because an ex once went crazy with the roses and got me a bouquet of 12 and 6 single stalks, all in the process of asking me to get back together with him. it is a horrifying memory in retrospect, and the smell of my room for weeks after that incident left permanent scarring. the smell of roses (alive, rotten, dried, whatever) is mentally damaging, and its a big reason why valentine's day is such a harrowing experience for me. ALL! THAT! ROSES! AAAAAAARGH!
3. this is another part of analness but i must must mention this cuz it is so IMPORTANT AND PART OF DAY- TO- DAY LIFE. when i eat at fast food joints, i have my own way of opening the chili packets. i cannot stand people who tear it halfway, let the torn bit dangle, and squeeze the chili packet half- heartedly and then chuck it aside. NO CANNOT! you must TEAR IT APART fully, means one crescent moon shape of plastic is torn away, and then press the chili packet from BOTTOM right down to the tear. DO NOT WASTE CHILI SAUCE. and if you really cannot tear it fully away, HOLD DOWN the half- torn bit while you squeeze. so that it do not get entangled in the mess of chili coming out. THIS IS IMPORTANT okay. till now suresh still can't open the chili packets for me when we eat at burger king or kfc. like i tell him, "no point breaking up over chili sauce, so just let me do it."
**i also have my own methodology when it comes to eating mcD's hotcakes. takes me about half an hour at least. to START eating. long preparation process. don't ask.
4. i can balance a spoon on my ears and nose. suresh said i can join the circus but i figured no one would pay to watch that.
"oooooh i can do it naked!" "um yeah people will pay for that." "yeahhhhhh then i can hang them on my breasts and knees too! GOD i'm a brilliant entrepeneur."
i'm not sure which is weirder, the hanging bit or the fact that i think i should do it naked but i am full of ideas like that, as well as useful talents, like said spoon- balancing acts. i can also do a fascinating variation of the chicken dance when liverpool has scored a goal, an improvisation on a lion dance and malay dance when holding an umbrella, and any random ballet pose, while walking. i am so talented i know.
5. i talk to myself. out loud or mentally. and no its not like normal, "okay fiza you can do this." they tend to do a, "wah laooo fiza... damn lame la you." sometimes there's even an, "okay i know this i know this dammit i know this why can't i remember?!?!" i have many personas and they have even argued among themselves several times. i cite from a previous entry, a common manifestation of this occurance, which i've come to label the triple conscience. there's more than 3 of course, but they come and go. this 3 stick around.
"see i have a triple conscience; one goes, "but fiza, this book is CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED!" and the other one goes, "PFFFT. you're gonna be disappointed. and you know it." then i decide not to get it and then after a while my third conscience goes, "sheesh do you HAVE to be so anti- mainstream? would it kill you to read what the general public are reading?" and then i go all defensive and say, "i'm not anti- mainstream! i'm fine with mainstream! i like the mainstream!" then end up feeling pretty schizo.
and this triple conscience is not just limited to book- reading, but applies to many other things as well. like in dreams. sometimes i'd dream that i'm a writer, and my first conscience go, "aaah a dream that you're writing. see this is so freudian. you dream of the thing you oppress in reality, the fact that you want to be a writer!" then my second conscience (its the cynical one, you'd notice), "oh PLEASE fiza, its just a dream, don't look so deep into it. just enjoy the sleep you're getting, will ya?" and then the third conscience (the righteous one) goes, "would it kill you to just ENJOY a little? DREAM a little? its a dream dammit can't you just be happy? dreams aren't supposed to be real anyway!" and i wake up confused wondering why my brain won't give me a break even while i sleep."
see i told you i'm not weird. now for the five more WEIRDOS to tag;
1. Nazri; cuz you need to WRITE
2. Hizuan; cuz you're WEIRD
3. Laremy; cuz you're WEIRD
4. Nydia; cuz you're WEIRD
5. Hazimah when she returns; cuz she's WEIRD enough to like this blog
there you are. off you go now, weirdos!
guess who's back?
SuReSh says:
BOO!!
have a merry cherry! says:
.............
have a merry cherry! says:
you said you'll be back at 1.
have a merry cherry! says:
i was half considering calling starhub to make sure my phone was working.
have a merry cherry! says:
twerp.
SuReSh says:
heh
SuReSh says:
sorry la
SuReSh says:
flight arrived bout 1
SuReSh says:
i msged you bout 5mins ago
have a merry cherry! says:
didn't get any.
have a merry cherry! says:
maybe i should have called afterall.
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
yea maybe
SuReSh says:
wait ah
SuReSh says:
eh ya what.. its says msg sent in my phone..
have a merry cherry! says:
maybe i'd get it at 5.
SuReSh says:
ummm 5?
have a merry cherry! says:
3 hrs time diff.
SuReSh says:
ohhhhh
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
eh but im back what
have a merry cherry! says:
...............
have a merry cherry! says:
-_-
have a merry cherry! says:
and not any wiser too i see.
SuReSh says:
oei!
ape laaaa nasib. dapat matair pun si maplek? takpelah... dah balik tu dah bagus yeee...
and yes its in malay in case he actually reads this. haha!
SuReSh says:
BOO!!
have a merry cherry! says:
.............
have a merry cherry! says:
you said you'll be back at 1.
have a merry cherry! says:
i was half considering calling starhub to make sure my phone was working.
have a merry cherry! says:
twerp.
SuReSh says:
heh
SuReSh says:
sorry la
SuReSh says:
flight arrived bout 1
SuReSh says:
i msged you bout 5mins ago
have a merry cherry! says:
didn't get any.
have a merry cherry! says:
maybe i should have called afterall.
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
yea maybe
SuReSh says:
wait ah
SuReSh says:
eh ya what.. its says msg sent in my phone..
have a merry cherry! says:
maybe i'd get it at 5.
SuReSh says:
ummm 5?
have a merry cherry! says:
3 hrs time diff.
SuReSh says:
ohhhhh
SuReSh says:
haha
SuReSh says:
eh but im back what
have a merry cherry! says:
...............
have a merry cherry! says:
-_-
have a merry cherry! says:
and not any wiser too i see.
SuReSh says:
oei!
ape laaaa nasib. dapat matair pun si maplek? takpelah... dah balik tu dah bagus yeee...
and yes its in malay in case he actually reads this. haha!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
jumpin' jiminys, yelepeti yilek
yes i am pushing my luck with this myblogmysay thing. but that is quite the catchy title, non?
i am in a hyperactively happy mood cuz i went to town to collect my topshop card from gail. and that angel and her friend shopped like whores when i was in KL and that gave me a $10 voucher and a $20 added value in my card. and i blew all of it on a top and underwear. worth it i say. walking out of topshop with all my cash intact is very, very, satisfying.
then i wandered off to far east to grab a bite. (note: sara there's long john silver at FAR EAST la. we didn't have to face thay gaybeh mat at lido!) had my long john and read my magazine while eating. then i walked around, looking for this retro shop i noticed when i was last at far east. and i found it! and i am determined to buy their wallpaper which is so retro nak mampus, and this vintage 70s bag which is so me la. all that has to wait but i'm sure its not going anywhere. not alot of people appreciate aunthetic retro these days. bought a cute card there, a vintage beige card with a very old sepia picture. love.
after that was the second hand book shop, where i spent $2.50 (!!!!!!!!!) on a BOOK and THREE comics. i am flabberghasted. happiness is so cheap nowadays. well if i can afford it, it must be la. i am damn poor now okay. JOBLESS. hahaha.
decided i was done and took the train back. cuz i had big plans for my blog! oh yeah.
remember how i said i can't stand soccer players with bad hair?
he has bad hair.
yes? i used manchester united as an example, not because i am a liverpool fan, but really, their squad is FULL of it.
so early this morning at 3.30 local time, they came in full force at portugal's stadium of light, to prove me right. it rhymes i know. i'm a poet and i know it. nyeahaha.
well if you watched the match or at least read ANY of today's newspapers, you can see that two players in particular have been blamed for their defeat. rio ferdinand and christiano ronaldo. now this is purely coincidental and in no way do intend to rub salt to their wounds but bad hair is bad hair is bad hair, and i must do something about it.
as we all know, i always had something against christiano ronaldo's current... hair. its not a hairCUT or a hairSYTLE so let's not bother with pretenses.
why? cuz like the entire SQUAD, he is RICH. therefore he can afford to pay at least hundreds, for a decent haircut. plus he is YOUNG, and supposedly HOT (hence the rape scandals, non?). so pray, tell me, why, for all the linesmen in the world, would you choose to look like this?
ronaldo looking dejected. missed a goal? time for a haircut, dude!
without a doubt, he used to be a brilliant player. his speed is blinding and his dribbles, true portugal skills. but what happened?
THIS happened.
look here ronaldo.
so young, so hot, so talented.
GASP! its YOU!
again, so young, so hot, so talented, and so happy cuz he just scored a goal.
now when was the last time you scored, ron?
wait a minute. GOODNESS, that was YOU! again!
now. don't you think its hiiiiiiigh time for a visit to the nearest salon?
but whatever you do, never go back to this.
my nextvictim case study would be rio ferdinand.
now. this snarling, sneering, lunkhead of a defender, is paid 4 million pounds. a year. albeit he wants it raised to 6.2 million but i'd say stop watching the ball first, and you just MIGHT get to stay on the team.
he wasn't that annoying. he did bald. which was cool. blonde. that was fine. then came the cornrows.
well if you're cool, i'm cool.
look at that ferd. you look so happy and so free. what happened?
you let your cornrows grow. and grow. and grow.
see cornrows are not supposed to look like that. remember nelson, ferd? i'm sure you do. he's the fast little tyke from benfica who did that scorching run, passing the ball through your good friend o'shea's legs, for geovanni to head home (while you watch geovanni, er, head it home). yeaaaaa! THAT nelson! remember him now?
well he has a similar hairstyle. maybe more dreadlock-like. but never mind. just look.
and learn.
see he grew his out too but it doesn't have the funky curl effect yours is having. look again, ferd.
you know what those look like to me?
yeap. worms. growing from the nape of your neck. DISTURBING? indeed.
so what do you do now, ferd?
no, no. don't cry. just fix it! you get 100, 000 pounds a WEEK. in singapore, a haircut for a guy can be as cheap as $8. i'm sure you can afford it.
i'm not saying that if the two of you get a proper haircut your performance on the field might be better. no, no such promises. but it does reduce the pain that is watching you two play. i wonder if ferguson SEES dollar bills floating in the air each time ferd fails to defend yet another striker. or does he feel like tying ronaldo's legs together when he tries another of his fancy dribbles, only to lose possession. and while we're on the topic of tying things, do tie his fingers together, cuz the middle one tends to stick out at rivals' supporters when he's had a bad game.
try it boys. get a haircut. who knows, you might become a better defender and striker, respectively.
but don't hold your breath.
yes i am pushing my luck with this myblogmysay thing. but that is quite the catchy title, non?
i am in a hyperactively happy mood cuz i went to town to collect my topshop card from gail. and that angel and her friend shopped like whores when i was in KL and that gave me a $10 voucher and a $20 added value in my card. and i blew all of it on a top and underwear. worth it i say. walking out of topshop with all my cash intact is very, very, satisfying.
then i wandered off to far east to grab a bite. (note: sara there's long john silver at FAR EAST la. we didn't have to face thay gaybeh mat at lido!) had my long john and read my magazine while eating. then i walked around, looking for this retro shop i noticed when i was last at far east. and i found it! and i am determined to buy their wallpaper which is so retro nak mampus, and this vintage 70s bag which is so me la. all that has to wait but i'm sure its not going anywhere. not alot of people appreciate aunthetic retro these days. bought a cute card there, a vintage beige card with a very old sepia picture. love.
after that was the second hand book shop, where i spent $2.50 (!!!!!!!!!) on a BOOK and THREE comics. i am flabberghasted. happiness is so cheap nowadays. well if i can afford it, it must be la. i am damn poor now okay. JOBLESS. hahaha.
decided i was done and took the train back. cuz i had big plans for my blog! oh yeah.
remember how i said i can't stand soccer players with bad hair?
he has bad hair.
yes? i used manchester united as an example, not because i am a liverpool fan, but really, their squad is FULL of it.
so early this morning at 3.30 local time, they came in full force at portugal's stadium of light, to prove me right. it rhymes i know. i'm a poet and i know it. nyeahaha.
well if you watched the match or at least read ANY of today's newspapers, you can see that two players in particular have been blamed for their defeat. rio ferdinand and christiano ronaldo. now this is purely coincidental and in no way do intend to rub salt to their wounds but bad hair is bad hair is bad hair, and i must do something about it.
as we all know, i always had something against christiano ronaldo's current... hair. its not a hairCUT or a hairSYTLE so let's not bother with pretenses.
why? cuz like the entire SQUAD, he is RICH. therefore he can afford to pay at least hundreds, for a decent haircut. plus he is YOUNG, and supposedly HOT (hence the rape scandals, non?). so pray, tell me, why, for all the linesmen in the world, would you choose to look like this?
ronaldo looking dejected. missed a goal? time for a haircut, dude!
without a doubt, he used to be a brilliant player. his speed is blinding and his dribbles, true portugal skills. but what happened?
THIS happened.
look here ronaldo.
so young, so hot, so talented.
GASP! its YOU!
again, so young, so hot, so talented, and so happy cuz he just scored a goal.
now when was the last time you scored, ron?
wait a minute. GOODNESS, that was YOU! again!
now. don't you think its hiiiiiiigh time for a visit to the nearest salon?
but whatever you do, never go back to this.
my next
now. this snarling, sneering, lunkhead of a defender, is paid 4 million pounds. a year. albeit he wants it raised to 6.2 million but i'd say stop watching the ball first, and you just MIGHT get to stay on the team.
he wasn't that annoying. he did bald. which was cool. blonde. that was fine. then came the cornrows.
well if you're cool, i'm cool.
look at that ferd. you look so happy and so free. what happened?
you let your cornrows grow. and grow. and grow.
see cornrows are not supposed to look like that. remember nelson, ferd? i'm sure you do. he's the fast little tyke from benfica who did that scorching run, passing the ball through your good friend o'shea's legs, for geovanni to head home (while you watch geovanni, er, head it home). yeaaaaa! THAT nelson! remember him now?
well he has a similar hairstyle. maybe more dreadlock-like. but never mind. just look.
and learn.
see he grew his out too but it doesn't have the funky curl effect yours is having. look again, ferd.
you know what those look like to me?
yeap. worms. growing from the nape of your neck. DISTURBING? indeed.
so what do you do now, ferd?
no, no. don't cry. just fix it! you get 100, 000 pounds a WEEK. in singapore, a haircut for a guy can be as cheap as $8. i'm sure you can afford it.
i'm not saying that if the two of you get a proper haircut your performance on the field might be better. no, no such promises. but it does reduce the pain that is watching you two play. i wonder if ferguson SEES dollar bills floating in the air each time ferd fails to defend yet another striker. or does he feel like tying ronaldo's legs together when he tries another of his fancy dribbles, only to lose possession. and while we're on the topic of tying things, do tie his fingers together, cuz the middle one tends to stick out at rivals' supporters when he's had a bad game.
try it boys. get a haircut. who knows, you might become a better defender and striker, respectively.
but don't hold your breath.
ok for some weird, twisted reason, i am finally missing him.
see the world is so weird like that. i do fine for 10 days without him and the day before he returns i feel all sad and mopey. at 4 a.m. no less.
must be the rain.
i should go watch soccer.
see the world is so weird like that. i do fine for 10 days without him and the day before he returns i feel all sad and mopey. at 4 a.m. no less.
Hands cling to hands and eyes linger
on eyes: thus begins the record of our
hearts...
No mystery beyond the present;
no striving for the impossible; no
shadow behind the charm; no groping
in the depth of the dark.
This love between you and me is
simple as a song.
We do not stray out of all words
into the ever silent; we do not raise
our hands to the void for things
beyond hope.
It is enough what we give and we
get.
We have not crushed the joy to
the utmost to wring from it the wine
of pain.
This love between you and me is
simple as a song.
The Gardener XVI: Hands Cling to Eyes; Rabindranath Tagore
on eyes: thus begins the record of our
hearts...
No mystery beyond the present;
no striving for the impossible; no
shadow behind the charm; no groping
in the depth of the dark.
This love between you and me is
simple as a song.
We do not stray out of all words
into the ever silent; we do not raise
our hands to the void for things
beyond hope.
It is enough what we give and we
get.
We have not crushed the joy to
the utmost to wring from it the wine
of pain.
This love between you and me is
simple as a song.
The Gardener XVI: Hands Cling to Eyes; Rabindranath Tagore
must be the rain.
i should go watch soccer.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
german gas
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ok kentot (fart) talk resume.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
so yes.
hana says:
hahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
i will post her my fart.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dia bukak je (she open only)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
pengsan (she faints)
hana says:
you can't POSSIBLY store the kentut inside there.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
n cannot trace back one
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
EH
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ANTHRAX BOLEH APEEEE (ANTHRAX CAN WHAAAAT)
hana says:
HAHAHA
hana says:
TU POWDER BODOH (that's powder you dumbass)
hana says:
unless you can change your fart to powder.....
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
can lor.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
i fart already
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
simpan dlm plastic (put inside plastic bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
pastu kan (after that)
hana says:
yeeeap.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dalam plastic (inside this bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ade (got) odourless powder
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
then goncang the plastic (then shake the plastic bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
so that the bau will sebati (so that the smell and the powder becomes one)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
masukkan gula secukup rasa (add sugar to your desired taste)
hana says:
WAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA
hana says:
SEBATI?????
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
rock hor my malay.
hana says:
shuddup with the cheeem malay words can?
hana says:
hahahahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
eh cool lor
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ROX DE WORZ~~~
hana says:
hahahhahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
hahaahahhaahahahahaha
hana says:
-__________________________________________-
hana says:
okok
hana says:
we need to find a way to change your fart to powder.
hana says:
eh. orrrrrrrrrr............ you kentut (fart) at the candy floss machine ah.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
like that laaaa
hana says:
then have kentut floss.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tu jadi cotton !! (that one become cotton!!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
buat apeeeeeeee (for whaaaat)
hana says:
ok what.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nanti (wait) crystallize
hana says:
jadi (become) solid
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
CRYSTALLIZED FARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
hana says:
crystallize become shit
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
SO COOOOOOOOOOOL
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
BOLEH GADAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (can pawn)
hana says:
ROJFL
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHAA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
AKU JADI KAYA!!!!!!!!! (i'll be rich!)
hana says:
GADAI KEPALA HO (pawn your he.... -ad-)
hana says:
hahahahahahahahhaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
apek
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wa mau gadai barang (i want to pawn something)
hana says:
lalalalala
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ini kristal (this crystal)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
manyak mahal (very expensive)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wahhhhhh
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
manyak lawa (very nice!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
warna warni hor (very colourful!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
yaya
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
lu bau (you smell)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ni spesyel punya kristal (this is a special crystal)
hana says:
hahahahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ade bau punya. (got smell one)
and it goes on...
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
BIAR TAIK ITU MENGGELEDAK (let the shit simmer over!)
hana says:
gila eh (are you mad?)
hana says:
HAHHAHAHAA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
SECARA MENAKJUBKAN! (miraculously!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
setelah air mendidih (after the water boils)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
padamkan api (turn off the fire)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dan tuang taik kedalam mangkuk. (and pour the shit into a bowl)
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
kemudian, hiasi degan bawang goreng dan daun sop. (and then, decorate the dish with fried onions and soup leaves. ??)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
habiskan dekorasi dengan sebiji ceri. (finish off with a cherry.)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nah, apa lagi ditunngu, sajikan la untuk teman2! (what are you waiting for, serve this dish to your friends!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ya tuan puan itulah resipi minggu ini (yes ladies and gentlemen that's our recipe for this week)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
taik menggeledak. (simmering shit)
hana says:
hahahahahhahhaa
hana says:
setidak2nya ppl will start asking you to show them how to make taik menggeledak (at least people are going to ask you how to make simmering shit)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ish
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
cannot live demo that one
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dangerous
hana says:
hahaha
hana says:
how come?
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
cuz meggeledak is to bubble violently
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wait too violent
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
periuk (pot) explode how?
hana says:
hahahahhaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
mandi taik (bathed in shit) everyone.
hana says:
ew.
hana says:
shower audience
hana says:
hahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tu ah (that's why)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tak sihat (not healthy)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
balik kene sertu (go home must bathe)
hana says:
wahahahahhaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nanti rancangan aku kene ban (wait my programme gets banned)
hana says:
one show only whaaat
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
no laaaaaaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
berepisod okay (got episodes!)
hana says:
hhahahahaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
next week kencing bertakung (next week is contained pee)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
then kentut berserbuk! (the powdered fart)
hana says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
that one best of the best
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ok kentot (fart) talk resume.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
so yes.
hana says:
hahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
i will post her my fart.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dia bukak je (she open only)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
pengsan (she faints)
hana says:
you can't POSSIBLY store the kentut inside there.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
n cannot trace back one
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
EH
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ANTHRAX BOLEH APEEEE (ANTHRAX CAN WHAAAAT)
hana says:
HAHAHA
hana says:
TU POWDER BODOH (that's powder you dumbass)
hana says:
unless you can change your fart to powder.....
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
can lor.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
i fart already
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
simpan dlm plastic (put inside plastic bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
pastu kan (after that)
hana says:
yeeeap.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dalam plastic (inside this bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ade (got) odourless powder
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
then goncang the plastic (then shake the plastic bag)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
so that the bau will sebati (so that the smell and the powder becomes one)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
masukkan gula secukup rasa (add sugar to your desired taste)
hana says:
WAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA
hana says:
SEBATI?????
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
rock hor my malay.
hana says:
shuddup with the cheeem malay words can?
hana says:
hahahahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
eh cool lor
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ROX DE WORZ~~~
hana says:
hahahhahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
hahaahahhaahahahahaha
hana says:
-__________________________________________-
hana says:
okok
hana says:
we need to find a way to change your fart to powder.
hana says:
eh. orrrrrrrrrr............ you kentut (fart) at the candy floss machine ah.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
like that laaaa
hana says:
then have kentut floss.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tu jadi cotton !! (that one become cotton!!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
buat apeeeeeeee (for whaaaat)
hana says:
ok what.
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nanti (wait) crystallize
hana says:
jadi (become) solid
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
CRYSTALLIZED FARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
hana says:
crystallize become shit
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
SO COOOOOOOOOOOL
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
BOLEH GADAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (can pawn)
hana says:
ROJFL
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHAA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
AKU JADI KAYA!!!!!!!!! (i'll be rich!)
hana says:
GADAI KEPALA HO (pawn your he.... -ad-)
hana says:
hahahahahahahahhaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
apek
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wa mau gadai barang (i want to pawn something)
hana says:
lalalalala
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ini kristal (this crystal)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
manyak mahal (very expensive)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wahhhhhh
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
manyak lawa (very nice!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
warna warni hor (very colourful!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
yaya
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
lu bau (you smell)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ni spesyel punya kristal (this is a special crystal)
hana says:
hahahahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ade bau punya. (got smell one)
and it goes on...
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
BIAR TAIK ITU MENGGELEDAK (let the shit simmer over!)
hana says:
gila eh (are you mad?)
hana says:
HAHHAHAHAA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
SECARA MENAKJUBKAN! (miraculously!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
setelah air mendidih (after the water boils)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
padamkan api (turn off the fire)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dan tuang taik kedalam mangkuk. (and pour the shit into a bowl)
hana says:
HAHAHAHAHA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
kemudian, hiasi degan bawang goreng dan daun sop. (and then, decorate the dish with fried onions and soup leaves. ??)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
habiskan dekorasi dengan sebiji ceri. (finish off with a cherry.)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nah, apa lagi ditunngu, sajikan la untuk teman2! (what are you waiting for, serve this dish to your friends!)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ya tuan puan itulah resipi minggu ini (yes ladies and gentlemen that's our recipe for this week)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
taik menggeledak. (simmering shit)
hana says:
hahahahahhahhaa
hana says:
setidak2nya ppl will start asking you to show them how to make taik menggeledak (at least people are going to ask you how to make simmering shit)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
ish
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
cannot live demo that one
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
dangerous
hana says:
hahaha
hana says:
how come?
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
cuz meggeledak is to bubble violently
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
wait too violent
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
periuk (pot) explode how?
hana says:
hahahahhaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
mandi taik (bathed in shit) everyone.
hana says:
ew.
hana says:
shower audience
hana says:
hahahahaha
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tu ah (that's why)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
tak sihat (not healthy)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
balik kene sertu (go home must bathe)
hana says:
wahahahahhaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
nanti rancangan aku kene ban (wait my programme gets banned)
hana says:
one show only whaaat
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
no laaaaaaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
berepisod okay (got episodes!)
hana says:
hhahahahaa
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
next week kencing bertakung (next week is contained pee)
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
then kentut berserbuk! (the powdered fart)
hana says:
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA
someone's pissed with my merry cherries! says:
that one best of the best
of donuts, shit and farts
i hope the title is enough of a heads- up to you about the content of this post. don't say i didn't warn you.
well firstly my very short, but fulfilling holiday.
day 1 was saturday. mum and me met cousins at JB, ate, talked, karaoke-d, and then finally long drive down to port dickson. its amazing the amount of stars you can see in malaysia. its like the sky is spotted with stars! like a teenager with acne or something! goodness. and in singapore half the time the one star i see, the maplek claims its a satellite. bah.
day 2 was drive down to kl. fun drive down, ate keropok lekor, drank coconut and chendol. damn shiok can.
look out its donuts!
anyway sunday was a very very busy day in kl. roads were jammed, carparks were full, klcc was like a refugee camp. and i couldn't find A SINGLE NICE THING! yes! its like nothing worthy was on sale. weird. klcc used to do it for me. well then i just got a book (another michael connelly) and a white skirt. i am developing a thing for peasant skirts. aiyee.
ate at klcc. at least the food was good. i had black pepper roast chicken. and it was a WHOLE chicken. that they chopped up into four pieces. and i FINISHED it! wah lao. damn good food. and the yong tau fu was nice too. aiya everything nice la.
cheeeeken.
then it was time to send mum home cuz she didn't get leave for monday. so after sending her, it was A&W!!!!!
wheeee! singapore don't have. how lame. coney dog to go, and me and the cousin had the curly fries, root beer float and the waffles right there. damn authentic okay. the A&W at seremban bus terminal is the FIRST A&W in malaysia. ish. best.
shiokeneneh.
then drive back to port dickson where i promptly began eating my yummy coney dog and reading my book.
monday was a nice languid one. woke up late (MY EYEBAGS WERE GONE THERE!) and in time to see my cousin walk through the door with nasi lemak. aiseyman. this is the life la.
lazat yaaaa.
so spent the afternoon reading my book and then my cousin comes home from work and we go riding around the village helmet- less. stars, again. goats! then the most fascinating thing happened.
heads up!
the bike, well, died, cuz we were on the way to the petrol station anyway. but it didn't make it. so we were just pushing the bike along and then his friend on a bike comes along. pleasantries were exchanged, (in malaysia it goes something like, eh where you going, ohh okay, i just left insert shop name) and then he says, " i push la."
now this is a concept absolutely BEYOND me. pray, tell me, HOW, is this guy going to "push"? is he planning to let me and my cousin ride HIS bike and he pushes our bike to the petrol station? why that is overly magnanimous. and the cousin says don't need to push all the way, until the end of the road is fine cuz from there its downhill. hooooookay. major confusion.
and then my cousin instructs me to get on the bike, but don't put my left foot on the foot rest. put it on the front foot rest. AND THEN!
JENG JENG JENG.
this nice kind fellow, sticks out his RIGHT feet (must explain the technicalities of this okay, never happen in singapore before one), places it on MY left foot rest, and just LIKE THAT, he is PUSHING the bike as HIS bike rides along! with his RIGHT FOOT! on my LEFT FOOT REST! OMG OMG OMG OMG!
and there we were siamese bike twins, riding closely to each other till the road goes downhill. and we say thanks and go fill up the bike. GOODNESS! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING!?!?! this is why village life is so fascinating to me la.
then we go to a nearby shop where he gets cigarettes and tidbits. and then after paying the auntie at the counter, her husband comes out of his car with a ladder. and opens it. the light at the front of the shop had blown out. he's trying to figure out if its the bulb, the starter, or the thingy that holds the whole thing together. and since they are such an old couple and my cousin deals with heights all the time anyway, the auntie asks HIM to look, and he also offers to look.
THE APEK SELLING SHAMPOO AND MILO GOT ASK TO CHANGE HIS LIGHT FOR HIM BEFORE OR NOT!?!!?
wah lao. so fun. well apparently its the body that is failing them, so time for a change! then we headed home.
dooooooooonuts!
his young friend comes in, borrows some CDs and then i decided i was hungry, so we went for dinner and his friend comes along.
had rice with all sorts of beef and prawn dishes, but they tasted alike. malaysia's interpretation of thai food is not too varied i see. haha. but it was good. then we bought milo and toothpaste and it was home again.
sat and read my book and occasionally the cousin played bits of a VCD. the film industry in malaysia may not be matured, i mean looking at the brand of humour and the technical details, but AT LEAST they have movies to speak of. lots and lots of it. i guess in a matter of quality VS. quantity i'd go with quantity cuz really, you have to start somewhere. and they definitely have the headstart over us.
then the OTHER cousin comes back and we watched more snippets of VCDs, he strums the guitar a little. and then it was 1 a.m. i declared,
"hungry ah."
and they BOTH turned and widen their eyes. hahahahaha.
and the other cousin even said, "kau kan the melantak nasik tadi! (you ate rice already what just now!)"
but of course, we ended up at a stall eating 2 pratas and a chicken chop. :D
got back home, read my book abit, packed my bag, and fell asleep. the next day was short. just woke up, packed, cousin fetched me, we ate, then it was off to seremban bus terminal for my 3.30 bus back to jb.
and due to the unforeseen jam along the highway, we missed the bus. so he got me a 4 p.m. ticket and we thought ah ok. done. and i sat in the bus when it arrived, and we FINALLY left the terminal at 5. an HOUR later.
and THEN. when we were NEARING johor, (you know how when you are so desperate for home the smallest hiccups seems major) there was a commotion at the front and the bus attendant started gagging and i was worried he might actually vomit. the commotion was in cantonese (malaysia's main chinese language) so i caught nothing...
until...
a smell wafted through the air....
SHIT!
no i didn't exclaim THAT, but it was SHIT.
i cannot emphasize this enough.
meaning he took off his pants, while the bus driver was merrily driving and the rest sleeping or stoning, this BOY takes off his pants, whether or not against his grandma's wishes i do no know, but he TAKES OFF HIS PANTS, and SQUATS down, and SHITS.
EXCUSE ME. god i don't even know what to say. BUT HELLO. YOU DON'T SHIT IN A BUS? OKAY? YOU JUST DON'T!
so we had to stop by a petrol station (a common feature in this post i see) and after alot of shouting and nonsense the stupid bus attendant finally got the sense to just mop the shit up. not before making the grandma wipe it with a newspaper la. i mean couldn't you have come to that general conclusion minutes ago? noooooo, have to argue and shout and shout and shout. in CANTONESE. aiyo.
then we finally moved on and i finally got to larkin bus terminal. got my donuts (YEAHHHHHHHHHH DUNKIN DONUTS WHOOOOOOOOOO) and then my bus back to homeland.
shit wasn't over. the traffic jam at the checkpoint was so long it snaked right up to the old shopping centre, komtar or summat. not even city square okay. so what do i do? press the bell. alight. walk.
walk walk walk and i expected like complete chaos at the singapore customs on the second floor. and there was only like so few of them! so there must be something really wrong down on the streets la. its definitely not due to amount of people.
then i went back down to get my ride to the second checkpoint. and their bus stand? COMPLETE DARKNESS. there was a black out of sorts, and there was just general anarchy going on. it was so bizarre. in retrospect, i was a pretty brave dick to go through all that. it was seriously dark. sheesh.
finally got on my bus, cleared second checkpoint (always a breeze) and bus down to kranji mrt aaaaaaaand home. :))
ok there's more but my fingers are all wonky now. msn convo with hana will be posted later. yes that's the fart bit. for those hungry for more shit (EW), go to her blog. good noon all!
its good to be back.
i hope the title is enough of a heads- up to you about the content of this post. don't say i didn't warn you.
well firstly my very short, but fulfilling holiday.
day 1 was saturday. mum and me met cousins at JB, ate, talked, karaoke-d, and then finally long drive down to port dickson. its amazing the amount of stars you can see in malaysia. its like the sky is spotted with stars! like a teenager with acne or something! goodness. and in singapore half the time the one star i see, the maplek claims its a satellite. bah.
day 2 was drive down to kl. fun drive down, ate keropok lekor, drank coconut and chendol. damn shiok can.
look out its donuts!
anyway sunday was a very very busy day in kl. roads were jammed, carparks were full, klcc was like a refugee camp. and i couldn't find A SINGLE NICE THING! yes! its like nothing worthy was on sale. weird. klcc used to do it for me. well then i just got a book (another michael connelly) and a white skirt. i am developing a thing for peasant skirts. aiyee.
ate at klcc. at least the food was good. i had black pepper roast chicken. and it was a WHOLE chicken. that they chopped up into four pieces. and i FINISHED it! wah lao. damn good food. and the yong tau fu was nice too. aiya everything nice la.
cheeeeken.
then it was time to send mum home cuz she didn't get leave for monday. so after sending her, it was A&W!!!!!
wheeee! singapore don't have. how lame. coney dog to go, and me and the cousin had the curly fries, root beer float and the waffles right there. damn authentic okay. the A&W at seremban bus terminal is the FIRST A&W in malaysia. ish. best.
shiokeneneh.
then drive back to port dickson where i promptly began eating my yummy coney dog and reading my book.
monday was a nice languid one. woke up late (MY EYEBAGS WERE GONE THERE!) and in time to see my cousin walk through the door with nasi lemak. aiseyman. this is the life la.
lazat yaaaa.
so spent the afternoon reading my book and then my cousin comes home from work and we go riding around the village helmet- less. stars, again. goats! then the most fascinating thing happened.
heads up!
the bike, well, died, cuz we were on the way to the petrol station anyway. but it didn't make it. so we were just pushing the bike along and then his friend on a bike comes along. pleasantries were exchanged, (in malaysia it goes something like, eh where you going, ohh okay, i just left insert shop name) and then he says, " i push la."
now this is a concept absolutely BEYOND me. pray, tell me, HOW, is this guy going to "push"? is he planning to let me and my cousin ride HIS bike and he pushes our bike to the petrol station? why that is overly magnanimous. and the cousin says don't need to push all the way, until the end of the road is fine cuz from there its downhill. hooooookay. major confusion.
and then my cousin instructs me to get on the bike, but don't put my left foot on the foot rest. put it on the front foot rest. AND THEN!
JENG JENG JENG.
this nice kind fellow, sticks out his RIGHT feet (must explain the technicalities of this okay, never happen in singapore before one), places it on MY left foot rest, and just LIKE THAT, he is PUSHING the bike as HIS bike rides along! with his RIGHT FOOT! on my LEFT FOOT REST! OMG OMG OMG OMG!
and there we were siamese bike twins, riding closely to each other till the road goes downhill. and we say thanks and go fill up the bike. GOODNESS! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING!?!?! this is why village life is so fascinating to me la.
then we go to a nearby shop where he gets cigarettes and tidbits. and then after paying the auntie at the counter, her husband comes out of his car with a ladder. and opens it. the light at the front of the shop had blown out. he's trying to figure out if its the bulb, the starter, or the thingy that holds the whole thing together. and since they are such an old couple and my cousin deals with heights all the time anyway, the auntie asks HIM to look, and he also offers to look.
THE APEK SELLING SHAMPOO AND MILO GOT ASK TO CHANGE HIS LIGHT FOR HIM BEFORE OR NOT!?!!?
wah lao. so fun. well apparently its the body that is failing them, so time for a change! then we headed home.
dooooooooonuts!
his young friend comes in, borrows some CDs and then i decided i was hungry, so we went for dinner and his friend comes along.
had rice with all sorts of beef and prawn dishes, but they tasted alike. malaysia's interpretation of thai food is not too varied i see. haha. but it was good. then we bought milo and toothpaste and it was home again.
sat and read my book and occasionally the cousin played bits of a VCD. the film industry in malaysia may not be matured, i mean looking at the brand of humour and the technical details, but AT LEAST they have movies to speak of. lots and lots of it. i guess in a matter of quality VS. quantity i'd go with quantity cuz really, you have to start somewhere. and they definitely have the headstart over us.
then the OTHER cousin comes back and we watched more snippets of VCDs, he strums the guitar a little. and then it was 1 a.m. i declared,
"hungry ah."
and they BOTH turned and widen their eyes. hahahahaha.
and the other cousin even said, "kau kan the melantak nasik tadi! (you ate rice already what just now!)"
but of course, we ended up at a stall eating 2 pratas and a chicken chop. :D
got back home, read my book abit, packed my bag, and fell asleep. the next day was short. just woke up, packed, cousin fetched me, we ate, then it was off to seremban bus terminal for my 3.30 bus back to jb.
and due to the unforeseen jam along the highway, we missed the bus. so he got me a 4 p.m. ticket and we thought ah ok. done. and i sat in the bus when it arrived, and we FINALLY left the terminal at 5. an HOUR later.
and THEN. when we were NEARING johor, (you know how when you are so desperate for home the smallest hiccups seems major) there was a commotion at the front and the bus attendant started gagging and i was worried he might actually vomit. the commotion was in cantonese (malaysia's main chinese language) so i caught nothing...
until...
a smell wafted through the air....
SHIT!
no i didn't exclaim THAT, but it was SHIT.
SOMEONE SHAT IN THE BUS.
i cannot emphasize this enough.
SOMEONE SHAT IN THE BUS.
meaning he took off his pants, while the bus driver was merrily driving and the rest sleeping or stoning, this BOY takes off his pants, whether or not against his grandma's wishes i do no know, but he TAKES OFF HIS PANTS, and SQUATS down, and SHITS.
EXCUSE ME. god i don't even know what to say. BUT HELLO. YOU DON'T SHIT IN A BUS? OKAY? YOU JUST DON'T!
so we had to stop by a petrol station (a common feature in this post i see) and after alot of shouting and nonsense the stupid bus attendant finally got the sense to just mop the shit up. not before making the grandma wipe it with a newspaper la. i mean couldn't you have come to that general conclusion minutes ago? noooooo, have to argue and shout and shout and shout. in CANTONESE. aiyo.
then we finally moved on and i finally got to larkin bus terminal. got my donuts (YEAHHHHHHHHHH DUNKIN DONUTS WHOOOOOOOOOO) and then my bus back to homeland.
shit wasn't over. the traffic jam at the checkpoint was so long it snaked right up to the old shopping centre, komtar or summat. not even city square okay. so what do i do? press the bell. alight. walk.
walk walk walk and i expected like complete chaos at the singapore customs on the second floor. and there was only like so few of them! so there must be something really wrong down on the streets la. its definitely not due to amount of people.
then i went back down to get my ride to the second checkpoint. and their bus stand? COMPLETE DARKNESS. there was a black out of sorts, and there was just general anarchy going on. it was so bizarre. in retrospect, i was a pretty brave dick to go through all that. it was seriously dark. sheesh.
finally got on my bus, cleared second checkpoint (always a breeze) and bus down to kranji mrt aaaaaaaand home. :))
ok there's more but my fingers are all wonky now. msn convo with hana will be posted later. yes that's the fart bit. for those hungry for more shit (EW), go to her blog. good noon all!
its good to be back.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
ok i am back i am tired i have DONUTS i will talk more tomorrow.
and by donuts i mean the bread, not anything else i can display on my chest. don't let the cherries get to you.
AND btw, what happened to my tag- board? hmm hmm hmm? what did you guys do with it? its GONE. i can't SEE it.
ah well. issues for tomorrow. for now its time to eat. i've gain weight by the way. i'm now 45 kg and counting. WHEE! i love malaysia. cuti- cuti malaysia.
malaaaaaaaysia truuuuuuuuly asiaaaaaaaaaa.
and by donuts i mean the bread, not anything else i can display on my chest. don't let the cherries get to you.
AND btw, what happened to my tag- board? hmm hmm hmm? what did you guys do with it? its GONE. i can't SEE it.
ah well. issues for tomorrow. for now its time to eat. i've gain weight by the way. i'm now 45 kg and counting. WHEE! i love malaysia. cuti- cuti malaysia.
malaaaaaaaysia truuuuuuuuly asiaaaaaaaaaa.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
eye, erm, candy. erm, yap.
photos.
this is how i'd look like when graduating.
hah NO. THIS is how i'd look like.
that is actually sofra's table mat, as you would see...
here. i know i look naked here. but don't be stupid okay? okay. good.
and behold the normal picture...
there! normal right! only cuz i'm not in it. harhar. normalcy= inanimate. anyway that's what i had. iskender kebap. yes with a 'P'. turkish pronounciation? then again the entire menu has grammatical mistakes so i'm not banking so much on their linguistic abilities. food is good though.
this is the hummus (smushed chickpeas, yum!) and the big, bad turkish breastd. how big?
bigger than my head lor.
walked to marina from esplanade and these are the famous steps of marina that i was so familiar to as a kid. and we decided that eh, empty space! time for stupid pose!
looks quite good hor? like poster for ballet recital. can la feeling- feeling abit.
and of course, we had drinks. that had cherries (and other things) in them.
the drink.
photos.
this is how i'd look like when graduating.
hah NO. THIS is how i'd look like.
that is actually sofra's table mat, as you would see...
here. i know i look naked here. but don't be stupid okay? okay. good.
and behold the normal picture...
there! normal right! only cuz i'm not in it. harhar. normalcy= inanimate. anyway that's what i had. iskender kebap. yes with a 'P'. turkish pronounciation? then again the entire menu has grammatical mistakes so i'm not banking so much on their linguistic abilities. food is good though.
this is the hummus (smushed chickpeas, yum!) and the big, bad turkish brea
bigger than my head lor.
walked to marina from esplanade and these are the famous steps of marina that i was so familiar to as a kid. and we decided that eh, empty space! time for stupid pose!
looks quite good hor? like poster for ballet recital. can la feeling- feeling abit.
and of course, we had drinks. that had cherries (and other things) in them.
the drink.
the cherries.
and with that visual masterpiece i've bequeathed unto you, i bid you adieu. good day, good night, and goodbye.
and with that visual masterpiece i've bequeathed unto you, i bid you adieu. good day, good night, and goodbye.
my my
just got back.
met the lesbonbon at 5 for dinner at sofra and laypucking at esplanade. free music at outdoor theatre, malay dude can't sing fast lyrics, dunno why he bothered.
then starbucks at millenia walk. and then her mum called and asked us to go tampines. the shop. so laypuck- laypuck some more then it was tampines.
then at the shop eat talk nonsense and laugh laugh laugh.
this old man was there asking stupid riddles.
man: gajah panjat pokok nampak ape?
fiza: nampak sah bedek.
man: ahhhhhh pandai pun!
i'm not even going to bother translating that cuz it hardly makes sense in malay, much less english.
stupid pictures are with her. will put up once she sends em' over.
damn tired and i need to pack! kl trip tomorrow! well actually later! but anyway! whee!
happy happy happy.
and today he messaged me TWICE. :D:D:D:D record okayyyyy. he told me he saw some of "my" kangaroos today, "mostly alive, and some getting hit by cars! haha."
my boyfriend the absurdist.
ok la very tired and tomorrow must leave home at 12 wake up at 11 and i can't think further so whatever la hor.
be back monday. i think. have funnnnnnn everyone!
just got back.
met the lesbonbon at 5 for dinner at sofra and laypucking at esplanade. free music at outdoor theatre, malay dude can't sing fast lyrics, dunno why he bothered.
then starbucks at millenia walk. and then her mum called and asked us to go tampines. the shop. so laypuck- laypuck some more then it was tampines.
then at the shop eat talk nonsense and laugh laugh laugh.
this old man was there asking stupid riddles.
man: gajah panjat pokok nampak ape?
fiza: nampak sah bedek.
man: ahhhhhh pandai pun!
i'm not even going to bother translating that cuz it hardly makes sense in malay, much less english.
stupid pictures are with her. will put up once she sends em' over.
damn tired and i need to pack! kl trip tomorrow! well actually later! but anyway! whee!
happy happy happy.
and today he messaged me TWICE. :D:D:D:D record okayyyyy. he told me he saw some of "my" kangaroos today, "mostly alive, and some getting hit by cars! haha."
my boyfriend the absurdist.
ok la very tired and tomorrow must leave home at 12 wake up at 11 and i can't think further so whatever la hor.
be back monday. i think. have funnnnnnn everyone!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
plonk
i am so exhausted i conked out on the sofa an hour ago. i am only about, 6 hours ahead of my usual bedtime. TIRED.
why?
well met sara at 2 at great world city. admiralty to great world city = long train ride + bus ride.
FROM great world city we walked some more to the warehouse. loooooong walk.
but it was worth it, i got 3 bras and shorts, she, a bra and shorts. happy days.
then loooooong walk back to great world city where we decided we were too lazy for esplanade so we settled for mccafe. chocobanana cake for her ,fudgy brownie for me. chocolate hath serveth us well.
spent time there on the very comfy sofa seats just yakking and being dumb. its fun really. and i had to mention how zara here seems to stock nicer stuff than at orchard's. sara: "let's GO!"
haha she's too easy la. anyway we wandered about and yeap, it did have nicer stuff. AND more importantly they did NOT have most of the ugly stuff that orchard had. aaah. all important.
looked at shoes and hairbands and random thingamajig then it was bus down to dhoby ghout. where i realized my ezlink was empty. so bus ride to dhoby, milled around plaza singapura for mum to come down, have dinner, and then go back. hahaha.
weather- allowing it shall be beach tomorrow. it was sunny in the afternoon today, and we hope for the same tomorrow. dum dee dum.
boy has seen the great ocean road and reports: gorgeous scenery, many flies. uuuuuuuuh- huh.
i was wondering how come i didn't seem to really miss him and i realize i do, but at certain moments.
like when while waiting for mum i sat at the istana park and finished reading my book. his presence beside me, flipping his own book, would have been nice. or when i walked down the underpass to the mall again, this blissful day only seemed to need his fingers to fill up the spaces between mine.
but he'll be back, filling up the space in between with laughter and witty quips. a girl has to be patient, and i can wait. :)
dinner at thai express was brilliant because they had a fish sauce/ nam prik- ish sauce. it wasn't exactly like the nam prik back at phayao, but its the closest i've tasted locally. so imagine my JOYYYYYYY. next thing that happens, the nam prik is all over my rice, my green curry, prawn bits, fish slices... goodness.
and while previously i do not eat the chopped chilli, nowadays i just chew them along with the rest of the food. thanks to the sliced fish soup in nus, which looks terribly tasteless plain, i always add about 5-6 scoops of that chilli thingy they have, and my soup always ends up brownish, instead of the usual clear white. hah. and i thought what the hell, for added flavour i might as well eat the chopped chilli.
so i ate LOTS of chopped chilli and while it tasted FANTASTIC there and then... er... now its making all my digestive system all funked. i can FEEL the chilli in there, like a bunch of terrorists wielding guns and in turbans, shouting at the rest of my stomach's contents, causing havoc and chaos and general anarchy. oww.
oh well. nothing a shit can't cure.
and THAT is why, ladies and gentlemen, life is like toilet bowl. it alllll depends on who's shitting on it.
and i reaaaaaaally pity the toilet bowl i'm shitting on later.
i am so exhausted i conked out on the sofa an hour ago. i am only about, 6 hours ahead of my usual bedtime. TIRED.
why?
well met sara at 2 at great world city. admiralty to great world city = long train ride + bus ride.
FROM great world city we walked some more to the warehouse. loooooong walk.
but it was worth it, i got 3 bras and shorts, she, a bra and shorts. happy days.
then loooooong walk back to great world city where we decided we were too lazy for esplanade so we settled for mccafe. chocobanana cake for her ,fudgy brownie for me. chocolate hath serveth us well.
spent time there on the very comfy sofa seats just yakking and being dumb. its fun really. and i had to mention how zara here seems to stock nicer stuff than at orchard's. sara: "let's GO!"
haha she's too easy la. anyway we wandered about and yeap, it did have nicer stuff. AND more importantly they did NOT have most of the ugly stuff that orchard had. aaah. all important.
looked at shoes and hairbands and random thingamajig then it was bus down to dhoby ghout. where i realized my ezlink was empty. so bus ride to dhoby, milled around plaza singapura for mum to come down, have dinner, and then go back. hahaha.
weather- allowing it shall be beach tomorrow. it was sunny in the afternoon today, and we hope for the same tomorrow. dum dee dum.
boy has seen the great ocean road and reports: gorgeous scenery, many flies. uuuuuuuuh- huh.
i was wondering how come i didn't seem to really miss him and i realize i do, but at certain moments.
like when while waiting for mum i sat at the istana park and finished reading my book. his presence beside me, flipping his own book, would have been nice. or when i walked down the underpass to the mall again, this blissful day only seemed to need his fingers to fill up the spaces between mine.
but he'll be back, filling up the space in between with laughter and witty quips. a girl has to be patient, and i can wait. :)
dinner at thai express was brilliant because they had a fish sauce/ nam prik- ish sauce. it wasn't exactly like the nam prik back at phayao, but its the closest i've tasted locally. so imagine my JOYYYYYYY. next thing that happens, the nam prik is all over my rice, my green curry, prawn bits, fish slices... goodness.
and while previously i do not eat the chopped chilli, nowadays i just chew them along with the rest of the food. thanks to the sliced fish soup in nus, which looks terribly tasteless plain, i always add about 5-6 scoops of that chilli thingy they have, and my soup always ends up brownish, instead of the usual clear white. hah. and i thought what the hell, for added flavour i might as well eat the chopped chilli.
so i ate LOTS of chopped chilli and while it tasted FANTASTIC there and then... er... now its making all my digestive system all funked. i can FEEL the chilli in there, like a bunch of terrorists wielding guns and in turbans, shouting at the rest of my stomach's contents, causing havoc and chaos and general anarchy. oww.
oh well. nothing a shit can't cure.
and THAT is why, ladies and gentlemen, life is like toilet bowl. it alllll depends on who's shitting on it.
and i reaaaaaaally pity the toilet bowl i'm shitting on later.
at the risk of incurring the wrath of the greatest boy that ever lived (hahaha can you tell i'm scared?), i shall post this pictures. i mean i edited them. they deserve some moments of fame. and besides he's not anything like that. this is just me photosizing (FANTASIZING, geddit? hohoho) his days in melbourne. it is in no way incriminating pictures of him and keep in mind that i love him and wish unto him no harm. oh god bless my soul and pray the boy is so busy he NEVER EVER sees this blog. amen.
he's workin' it in the mall, y'all.
and he's workin' it with the bags.
an attempt at redemption.
all that courtesy of my favourite character on America's Next TopAnorexic Bitch ahem. MODEL. well only cuz janice dickinson's gone.
suresh if you see this please don't be angry cuz that's not you! its someone else! right hun? right? okay? okay? okay i love you and please don't be mad.i promise i won't photoshop pictures of you again.
err nah can't do that. i'm sure he won't mind. happy shopping in melbourne baby and take lotsa pics of the great ocean road. heard its gorgeous. sigh.
i guess i'll settle for sentosa. or selat johore.
he's workin' it in the mall, y'all.
and he's workin' it with the bags.
an attempt at redemption.
all that courtesy of my favourite character on America's Next Top
suresh if you see this please don't be angry cuz that's not you! its someone else! right hun? right? okay? okay? okay i love you and please don't be mad.
err nah can't do that. i'm sure he won't mind. happy shopping in melbourne baby and take lotsa pics of the great ocean road. heard its gorgeous. sigh.
i guess i'll settle for sentosa. or selat johore.