I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
Hana
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
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Prague
Berlin
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Europe In Lomo
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
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New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
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Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
My Love Test Results.
1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is patience, never give up on you.
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.
4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is that both of you can talk about everything and
anything, no secret is kept.
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.
7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.
8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady
relationship, you just want to flirt around.
ehhh... quite true leh. but no. 8??? hafiz will kill me. haha.
1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is patience, never give up on you.
3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.
4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.
5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is that both of you can talk about everything and
anything, no secret is kept.
6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.
7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.
8. At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady
relationship, you just want to flirt around.
ehhh... quite true leh. but no. 8??? hafiz will kill me. haha.
walking under stars with you. holding hands. it almost felt like any other normal day.
then i saw u fidgeting under the weight of your bulky knapsack.
"Oh. You're going back to camp."
Right on.
then i saw u fidgeting under the weight of your bulky knapsack.
"Oh. You're going back to camp."
Right on.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
today, i took the train to Yishun at 11.30 a.m. to go down to Nee Soon Camp for SAF Music & Drama Co.'s auditions. what was to be a dreary ride in the last carriage full of mats blasting their ringtones and blabbering in their goat- like voices was transformed into a delightful moment when a married couple entered at Woodlands station, pushing their baby in his pram.
he wasn't much of a baby anymore cuz he was pretty big. but he was young. maybe 1- ish. he had soft, wavy, shiny dark brown hair and the fairest skin. decked in a brown shirt and clean, fresh beige pants. he held a toy truck in his hand.
while most children wheedle to be rid off the pram and sit on the train's seats, he was contented being in his pram. Instead, he wheeled his truck up and down the seat between his mum and dad. and when the truck came back to him, he clapped and cheered.
and so he went on. over and over again without getting bored. he even got other passengers smiling and cheering with him. and i thought, what simple pleasure. pure joy, sincere laughter. he was so easily pleased.
a few stations later he got thirsty. and again, instead of wailing and whining, he told his mum, "Want milk!"
once he got his bottle, he contentedly held the bottle to his mouth with one hand.
and the other hand, reached out for his mum's hand. his tiny hand just managed to grasp a few of his mum's fingers. but he never let it go. even when he fell asleep.
and i couldn't stop smiling. it was love in it's purest and sincerest form.
when you have a love like that, all other loves fade in comparison. a higher love, purer love. i think i understand what Donne was talking about now.
that doesn't mean i am in any rush to make babies just to get that love.
but it will be pleasant to have a child who loves you so much once you have one.
p.s: i got through the auditions. *wiggles eyebrows* but they want full- timers. so i've got a back- up career if i flunk or turn out jobless in 5 years time. =)
Friday, February 27, 2004
hello.
i am home alone today.
mum went to meet her boyfriend's mother.
if all goes well, i'll have a new family in a few months' time.
so tonight would be TV TV and MORE TV.
just now was tuition. and before that faizal came over to do some online stuff.
then...
oh. i have finished the story. some story.
and i plan to finish more and write more when i go KL or PD after A results.
which are killing me anyway.
i hope i do well enough for university.
i don't think anyone who tried their best derserved to fail. so we are all fine. i guess.
nothing spells loneliness like a friday night alone and missing your boyfriend.
don't forget to catch Keegan Kang on 5 tonight: Love Poetry.
nights.
i am home alone today.
mum went to meet her boyfriend's mother.
if all goes well, i'll have a new family in a few months' time.
so tonight would be TV TV and MORE TV.
just now was tuition. and before that faizal came over to do some online stuff.
then...
oh. i have finished the story. some story.
and i plan to finish more and write more when i go KL or PD after A results.
which are killing me anyway.
i hope i do well enough for university.
i don't think anyone who tried their best derserved to fail. so we are all fine. i guess.
nothing spells loneliness like a friday night alone and missing your boyfriend.
don't forget to catch Keegan Kang on 5 tonight: Love Poetry.
nights.
zipperdeedodaa, zipperdeeyay, hey hey hey, what a wonderful day!
9 a.m.- 5 p.m. was me @ Wisma Mendaki doing volunteer admin work. Work was fun. Got free mee siam and lotsa luvv. ^_^
6.30 p.m.- 8.30 p.m. was me and mum shopping/ window- shopping at PS, Centrepoint and roadside stalls. Got a top for $2. uhuh. i rock. wahaha.
8.35 p.m. we reached far east [finally] for dinner. before tucking in, visited the loo for a much- needed release. while innit, my darling boy called.
"Hi!" "Where are you?" "Hehehehe..." "Haha... Why? Toilet is it?" "Hee. Ya." "Aiyo... Still can talk on the phone!" "You called what! Anyway I'm at Far East with my mum..." "Oh. Guess where i am." "Where? At home?!" "No. At your void deck."
my heart shattered. i wished i had gone home straight. i wished i was there. i wished i could go "Oh, come on right up!" instead i only managed a feeble "i am so sorry..."
but cheery ups! he came to town! yup yup yup! in a cab sponsored by mum, no less.
we ate our dinner and was just in time to meet him at the taxi stand.
i was so ecstatic to see him. superdupermegaliciousultimatelysupremo happy.
and he got me a rose. *melts*
i missed him so much i was speechless for like, 10 seconds. haha.
we ate some onion rings at BK and chatted with mum. then it was a cab ride home with mum in front and us at the back.
chatted bout everything and anything. he makes me so complete. =)
dropped him off at his block. got a rose for his mum too. such a sweet boy.
got back in time for American Idol. yeahhhh! Latoya London got thru! and BOOOOO!!! miss perky- amy- i'm so cute got through too. boo.
Trista and Ryan's Wedding should be renamed Pinkest Event of the Century. I'm serious. they should contact guiness. i think they broke a record, or at least CREATED one. pink. yuk. i mean, god, they ARE going to be MEN at the wedding Trista. like your HUSBAND- TO- BE for example. urgh. all that pink made me sick.
then it was some wrestling. but i was more interested in typing out my poems and stories. i am so enthusiastic bout' this whole writing thingy. wahaha.
all in all, a fabulous day. thanks to my superhero in blue. the best surprise EVER throughout this 1 year, 2 months and 19 dyas.
he is so so cute and adorable and sweet and i have no doubt at all that i will always keep him in my heart.
9 a.m.- 5 p.m. was me @ Wisma Mendaki doing volunteer admin work. Work was fun. Got free mee siam and lotsa luvv. ^_^
6.30 p.m.- 8.30 p.m. was me and mum shopping/ window- shopping at PS, Centrepoint and roadside stalls. Got a top for $2. uhuh. i rock. wahaha.
8.35 p.m. we reached far east [finally] for dinner. before tucking in, visited the loo for a much- needed release. while innit, my darling boy called.
"Hi!" "Where are you?" "Hehehehe..." "Haha... Why? Toilet is it?" "Hee. Ya." "Aiyo... Still can talk on the phone!" "You called what! Anyway I'm at Far East with my mum..." "Oh. Guess where i am." "Where? At home?!" "No. At your void deck."
my heart shattered. i wished i had gone home straight. i wished i was there. i wished i could go "Oh, come on right up!" instead i only managed a feeble "i am so sorry..."
but cheery ups! he came to town! yup yup yup! in a cab sponsored by mum, no less.
we ate our dinner and was just in time to meet him at the taxi stand.
i was so ecstatic to see him. superdupermegaliciousultimatelysupremo happy.
and he got me a rose. *melts*
i missed him so much i was speechless for like, 10 seconds. haha.
we ate some onion rings at BK and chatted with mum. then it was a cab ride home with mum in front and us at the back.
chatted bout everything and anything. he makes me so complete. =)
dropped him off at his block. got a rose for his mum too. such a sweet boy.
got back in time for American Idol. yeahhhh! Latoya London got thru! and BOOOOO!!! miss perky- amy- i'm so cute got through too. boo.
Trista and Ryan's Wedding should be renamed Pinkest Event of the Century. I'm serious. they should contact guiness. i think they broke a record, or at least CREATED one. pink. yuk. i mean, god, they ARE going to be MEN at the wedding Trista. like your HUSBAND- TO- BE for example. urgh. all that pink made me sick.
then it was some wrestling. but i was more interested in typing out my poems and stories. i am so enthusiastic bout' this whole writing thingy. wahaha.
all in all, a fabulous day. thanks to my superhero in blue. the best surprise EVER throughout this 1 year, 2 months and 19 dyas.
he is so so cute and adorable and sweet and i have no doubt at all that i will always keep him in my heart.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
sigh.
he didn't call.
i'm not mad...
just sad.
maybe training was tiring today.
or he got to book out for awhile and went home to see his mom. who returned from Mecca today.
i guess so.
i miss him.
and i'm wishing harder day by day that NS never existed.
he didn't call.
i'm not mad...
just sad.
maybe training was tiring today.
or he got to book out for awhile and went home to see his mom. who returned from Mecca today.
i guess so.
i miss him.
and i'm wishing harder day by day that NS never existed.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
my eyes are swelling.
i have modelling auditions tomorrow. *again*
all this pain. for Bayern Munich Vs Real Madrid.
goddddd. the game better be good.
i'm all for Real but dibs seems to be on Bayern to win. sigh.
why. whyyy. i hope beckham plays lousy & gets out of 1st 11 team. muahaha.
i think the fatigue is getting to my head.
how i wish i'm the kind of girl who HATES soccer and LOVES err... i dunno.
what do girls love?
sigh.
i love my boiphrennnn......
no, no wait. i lurrvvvvvvveeee my boiiphreennn....
who is far far far awaaaaaaaaaaaay... in camp...
*sings* it's a far far better thing that i do nowwwwwww... than i've ever doneeeeee... beforeeee...
that's an opera song i heard from the movie A Simple Wish. oooh. i might be catchin Raising Victor Vargas later today.
hopefully.
moannnn. A results in 10 days. wahahahaha.
Options if you flunk your A's:
1. Retake. [over my dead body.]
2. Appeal. [go kiss Quek ass. oh but he's a more compasionate principal now. APPARENTLY.]
3. Go poly. [waste 2 years.]
4. Go NIE, take teaching diploma. [again, could have done this straight after O's. so waste 2 yrs too. UNLESS u manage to appeal for the degree course.]
5. Go James Cook University. [they make u take 1 year of pre- u education then it's off into Uni. their uni. pretty cool actually.]
6. Go overseas. [if u got the ching- ching & the bling- bling, then go ahead...]
7. Part- time work + part- time studies. [earn & study. so don't really waste time. but it takes great discipline, effort & focus i'm incapable of providing.]
8. Just work. [thus making your 2 years in JC about 730 days of pure... err... voluntary useless education. unless ur saving up for overseas education.]
9. cry. continously. till you either fall asleep/ forgot you flunk/ get swollen eyes that can't open/ etc. [delete where applicable.]
10. just DON'T, DON'T, DON'T commit suicide. life goes on. so many people fail in life. this is NOT everything.
with that, let's cross our fingers/ pray hard/ pray more/ start praying/ start finding a God to worship/ hide under our blankets daily...
until the day arrives.
*takes deep breath*
i have modelling auditions tomorrow. *again*
all this pain. for Bayern Munich Vs Real Madrid.
goddddd. the game better be good.
i'm all for Real but dibs seems to be on Bayern to win. sigh.
why. whyyy. i hope beckham plays lousy & gets out of 1st 11 team. muahaha.
i think the fatigue is getting to my head.
how i wish i'm the kind of girl who HATES soccer and LOVES err... i dunno.
what do girls love?
sigh.
i love my boiphrennnn......
no, no wait. i lurrvvvvvvveeee my boiiphreennn....
who is far far far awaaaaaaaaaaaay... in camp...
*sings* it's a far far better thing that i do nowwwwwww... than i've ever doneeeeee... beforeeee...
that's an opera song i heard from the movie A Simple Wish. oooh. i might be catchin Raising Victor Vargas later today.
hopefully.
moannnn. A results in 10 days. wahahahaha.
Options if you flunk your A's:
1. Retake. [over my dead body.]
2. Appeal. [go kiss Quek ass. oh but he's a more compasionate principal now. APPARENTLY.]
3. Go poly. [waste 2 years.]
4. Go NIE, take teaching diploma. [again, could have done this straight after O's. so waste 2 yrs too. UNLESS u manage to appeal for the degree course.]
5. Go James Cook University. [they make u take 1 year of pre- u education then it's off into Uni. their uni. pretty cool actually.]
6. Go overseas. [if u got the ching- ching & the bling- bling, then go ahead...]
7. Part- time work + part- time studies. [earn & study. so don't really waste time. but it takes great discipline, effort & focus i'm incapable of providing.]
8. Just work. [thus making your 2 years in JC about 730 days of pure... err... voluntary useless education. unless ur saving up for overseas education.]
9. cry. continously. till you either fall asleep/ forgot you flunk/ get swollen eyes that can't open/ etc. [delete where applicable.]
10. just DON'T, DON'T, DON'T commit suicide. life goes on. so many people fail in life. this is NOT everything.
with that, let's cross our fingers/ pray hard/ pray more/ start praying/ start finding a God to worship/ hide under our blankets daily...
until the day arrives.
*takes deep breath*
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
currently at Wisma Mendaki doing my volunteer work.
...
....
.....
was just sitting quietly typing away.
then the radio played some old Malay love song.
i didn't realize it...
but i cried.
i miss you so much i don't even realize it. and when i do it's always too late.
i guess NS hasn't done much harm to us. but how i wish i could just call u at anytime and any hour and just babble about life.
how i wish i was with you now. anywhere. doing anything.
just being with u.
i miss you.
p.s: 11 days to probable results day... errrr...
...
....
.....
was just sitting quietly typing away.
then the radio played some old Malay love song.
i didn't realize it...
but i cried.
i miss you so much i don't even realize it. and when i do it's always too late.
i guess NS hasn't done much harm to us. but how i wish i could just call u at anytime and any hour and just babble about life.
how i wish i was with you now. anywhere. doing anything.
just being with u.
i miss you.
p.s: 11 days to probable results day... errrr...
Monday, February 23, 2004
someone shoot me before i go on.
no one? no gunshots?
fine.
brace yourself for what i'm about to say.
i. miss. mugging.
wahahaha... i am serious!
read thru past blog entries... my "mugging" days seemed more interesting. happening. time- fulfilling.
but maybe cuz i know if i'm mugging now i won't be stressed. damn.
wish i had a something to study.
i must be mad.
hahaha. god i am not listening to myself.
i actually miss mugging! gaah! of all things.
ok. mentoring seminar later. la la la.
eh serious. i miss mugging. how?
no one? no gunshots?
fine.
brace yourself for what i'm about to say.
i. miss. mugging.
wahahaha... i am serious!
read thru past blog entries... my "mugging" days seemed more interesting. happening. time- fulfilling.
but maybe cuz i know if i'm mugging now i won't be stressed. damn.
wish i had a something to study.
i must be mad.
hahaha. god i am not listening to myself.
i actually miss mugging! gaah! of all things.
ok. mentoring seminar later. la la la.
eh serious. i miss mugging. how?
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.
wahaha... i am EVIL... whatever.
anyway. lovely lovely lovely.
my mentee is a darling 12- year- old boy who can yak and yak and yak and YAK!
haha... he loves to sing & act... unfortunately his dreams are not supported by his dad.
fortunately, his mum is very supportive.
had fun... he's a very naughty boy. who wasn't at 12 eh...
then lunch with hafiz at Anatolia Turkish Restaurant. ok, but not really to my tastebuds.
i absolutely despise, loathe, hate & detest TOMATOES. hafiz just can't understand why.
just the sight of it makes me nauseous. haha.
then we wandered round town to let our food settle.
then it was Haagen Daaz for desserts. yummy...
yesterday was town too after auditions with dino, eunice, ronald & ridhwan. lunched with hakim.
laksa at 4 pm and a McChicken at 6.30 p.m. i am gonna be the fat girl on the results day.
no one shall recognize me. muahaha.
anyway i miss hafiz.
oh n a shout- out to izal, it's a good thing you're doin. tell her i said hi & get well soon.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Pioneer Junior College Official Opening Ceremony.
it was ultimately, in a true slacker- Pioneer's opinion, a success.
it probably never would have happened if left in the hands of the 2002 batch.
then again we'll never know.
but it was a pleasant occassion. the finale was fab.
food was yummy and delightfully served by our very own Pioneers. not bad at all.
post- ceremony was chit- chat with each & every teacher around. they actually remember me. hehe.
and of course they all asked bout my "other half". yup, in those exact words.
felt good to be able to reply he's in camp instead of "oh, we broke off." as what most would prolly expect.
=)
highlight of the day would definitely be the ride to Gone Fishing in snr Shang's car with his bro, shang wei, eddie n fahrur. had fun and the food at the cafe was fantastic.
oh of course. we dropped by eddie's much- famed haunted house. pretty freaky place.
all in all, a great day.
the seniors told me not to worry. i'll pass. haha.
ya rite.
and eddie is so damn sure i'll hyperentilate/ panic/ cry etc. on that day.
hahaha.
i'm planning on asking someone to read my results to me like joanna, but i wouldn't want someone else to know my bad results.
sigh.
wish i could get it all over and done with.
it was ultimately, in a true slacker- Pioneer's opinion, a success.
it probably never would have happened if left in the hands of the 2002 batch.
then again we'll never know.
but it was a pleasant occassion. the finale was fab.
food was yummy and delightfully served by our very own Pioneers. not bad at all.
post- ceremony was chit- chat with each & every teacher around. they actually remember me. hehe.
and of course they all asked bout my "other half". yup, in those exact words.
felt good to be able to reply he's in camp instead of "oh, we broke off." as what most would prolly expect.
=)
highlight of the day would definitely be the ride to Gone Fishing in snr Shang's car with his bro, shang wei, eddie n fahrur. had fun and the food at the cafe was fantastic.
oh of course. we dropped by eddie's much- famed haunted house. pretty freaky place.
all in all, a great day.
the seniors told me not to worry. i'll pass. haha.
ya rite.
and eddie is so damn sure i'll hyperentilate/ panic/ cry etc. on that day.
hahaha.
i'm planning on asking someone to read my results to me like joanna, but i wouldn't want someone else to know my bad results.
sigh.
wish i could get it all over and done with.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Low |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate |
| Antisocial: | Low |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Low |
| Narcissistic: | Low |
| Avoidant: | Low |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
show me the money!
nah. i'm just hungry.
a lil' pissed. not really.
k i think i'm just hungry.
and hana!!! i YEARN to be in KL with u! i want Dunkin' Donuts. spastic singapore don't have em'.
neither do they have rocking curly wurly A & W curly fries. damn yuuuuu Singapore!
see. i am very hungry very hungry very hungry.
wish i was in KL eating coney dogs and cheap pasta.
oh god. and doing my favourite past- time too.
shopping. i am SO going KL in march.
the GREAT malaysia sale. yeah yeah yeah.
for now i'll just go get myself a chicken pau cuz' stupid singapore don't sell yummy Dunkin' Donuts.
oh ya. i am so boringly NOT crushing on anyone now.
there was the Delifrance manager, Starbucks HOTT barista, Dahlia Cafe's cashier & a potential crushee in Dino.
now all of em' are gonneeeee. goneeeeee. as in. i'm no longer interested.
Delifrance manager- well time has taken it's toll. i've been crushing on him for longer than i can remember. he's not so cute anymore.
Starfucks barista- well, my mum saw him yesterday and she said he looks cute BUT, 1- she said he looks like my ex, Hadi (eeks!) and 2- she said he looks snobby. like u know, he knows he's good- looking kinda thing. kinda true, cuz i notice he swaggers a lil'. nyehhhhhh.
Dahlia cafe boy is sweet. nothing's changed there. but i've been crushing on him since sec. sch!!! god. i am so bored of it. ahahaha.
and dino. haha. he's a joke. he is young. literally. very youthful exuberance capable of overpowering my sanity. he makes me feel young. but he's young. and that is soooo not interesting. maybe i'll have my mid- life crisis affair with him when i'm 45. warghkakaka.
sigh.
hafiz, why must u be the only guy i find interesting?
bah. party- pooper.
nah. i'm just hungry.
a lil' pissed. not really.
k i think i'm just hungry.
and hana!!! i YEARN to be in KL with u! i want Dunkin' Donuts. spastic singapore don't have em'.
neither do they have rocking curly wurly A & W curly fries. damn yuuuuu Singapore!
see. i am very hungry very hungry very hungry.
wish i was in KL eating coney dogs and cheap pasta.
oh god. and doing my favourite past- time too.
shopping. i am SO going KL in march.
the GREAT malaysia sale. yeah yeah yeah.
for now i'll just go get myself a chicken pau cuz' stupid singapore don't sell yummy Dunkin' Donuts.
oh ya. i am so boringly NOT crushing on anyone now.
there was the Delifrance manager, Starbucks HOTT barista, Dahlia Cafe's cashier & a potential crushee in Dino.
now all of em' are gonneeeee. goneeeeee. as in. i'm no longer interested.
Delifrance manager- well time has taken it's toll. i've been crushing on him for longer than i can remember. he's not so cute anymore.
Starfucks barista- well, my mum saw him yesterday and she said he looks cute BUT, 1- she said he looks like my ex, Hadi (eeks!) and 2- she said he looks snobby. like u know, he knows he's good- looking kinda thing. kinda true, cuz i notice he swaggers a lil'. nyehhhhhh.
Dahlia cafe boy is sweet. nothing's changed there. but i've been crushing on him since sec. sch!!! god. i am so bored of it. ahahaha.
and dino. haha. he's a joke. he is young. literally. very youthful exuberance capable of overpowering my sanity. he makes me feel young. but he's young. and that is soooo not interesting. maybe i'll have my mid- life crisis affair with him when i'm 45. warghkakaka.
sigh.
hafiz, why must u be the only guy i find interesting?
bah. party- pooper.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
How perfectly splendid!
i must start speaking Good English cuz' i'm about to be an Englsih tutor. wowowee.
teaching Malay & English to a Pri. 3 kid @ Holland Dr. $140/ mth. twice a week, 1.5 hrs each.
yipeedeedodaa!
so now i do volunteer work every Tuesdays & Thursdays. i heard there's some allowance or sth. though i'm not demanding any. (ahemm. izal. hehe.)
i teach sharifah nadia, sec. 4 girl @ Bukit Batok every Friday. Maths & Sci., once a week, 2 hrs each. $140/ mth.
then the new assignment. P3 kid. twice a wk, 1.5 hrs each, $140/ mth.
under two modelling agencies & auditioning for more.
performing artiste auditions for SAF Music & Drama Co. coming up on 28th Feb.
i love the busy- ness of it all. makes me feel... useful. huarghkhakha. of course, money can also be a source of inspiration.
and it makes me miss you less... =)
p/s: typing all this from my "office" in mendaki. another perks of volunteer work! free use of internet! lol.
i must start speaking Good English cuz' i'm about to be an Englsih tutor. wowowee.
teaching Malay & English to a Pri. 3 kid @ Holland Dr. $140/ mth. twice a week, 1.5 hrs each.
yipeedeedodaa!
so now i do volunteer work every Tuesdays & Thursdays. i heard there's some allowance or sth. though i'm not demanding any. (ahemm. izal. hehe.)
i teach sharifah nadia, sec. 4 girl @ Bukit Batok every Friday. Maths & Sci., once a week, 2 hrs each. $140/ mth.
then the new assignment. P3 kid. twice a wk, 1.5 hrs each, $140/ mth.
under two modelling agencies & auditioning for more.
performing artiste auditions for SAF Music & Drama Co. coming up on 28th Feb.
i love the busy- ness of it all. makes me feel... useful. huarghkhakha. of course, money can also be a source of inspiration.
and it makes me miss you less... =)
p/s: typing all this from my "office" in mendaki. another perks of volunteer work! free use of internet! lol.
Monday, February 16, 2004
wahahaha...
according to a quiz created by foddy scienctists in the US of A... i'll die at 108 years old.
er... a bit old ah.
haha. click on sheen's lj to check out the quiz. that's sheabutter babe link for u on the left.
vday was average. got a promotions job thingy- o at Md Sultan at e very last minute. $15/ hr.
i'm not complaining.
hehe.
nothing interesting i guess. same ol' same ol'...
oh ya,
A Level results. oh the shits.
according to a quiz created by foddy scienctists in the US of A... i'll die at 108 years old.
er... a bit old ah.
haha. click on sheen's lj to check out the quiz. that's sheabutter babe link for u on the left.
vday was average. got a promotions job thingy- o at Md Sultan at e very last minute. $15/ hr.
i'm not complaining.
hehe.
nothing interesting i guess. same ol' same ol'...
oh ya,
A Level results. oh the shits.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
a Beetle! how cool is that? that is my dream car. not sure bout the name though.
Scotsman?
anway i fetched hafiz. the poor paranoid boy was almost smothering me in an attempt to shield me from being seen by his other mat friends. funny. haha.
then it was Jurong Point Pizza Hut for the LurvvveStruck Pizza. Hawaiian. yum.
then him sending me home.
morning was auditions, again, at Nth Bridge Rd. got pretty lost now my feet are all blistered. stupid heels. why must models wear heels? stupid sia.
got thru. so now i have two agents. ho humm... assignments please.
later would be bowling, yes, BOWLING, with farhana in town. haha. we'll be in our TopShop & Miss Selfridge's bests and we'll be... ooh...
bowling. haha. in those stinky 50s shoes. lol. what a sight to behold. pictures have have have got to be taken of these two geezers.
veeday's been good so far.simple. full of love. uncommercialised. i mean, prices go up just because it's 14t Feb. *smirks*
hafiz saw a girl holding flowers just now and he was like apologizing for not giving me any. i mean, he just got out of camp... i wasn't expecting anything. [oh- he loved the gift by the way. "perfect husband." snort. what a paradox.]
hafiz told me that next week will be our proper date. whatever that means. heh.
anyway i told him...
"it's a good thing our date is next week and not today. that way when u buy me flowers it'll be cheaper."
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
happy valentine's day. to one and all. let's celebrate love.
today. tomorrow. always. =)
Friday, February 13, 2004
|
|
| Love begins as friendship and has little drama. |
| mewing.net. where love goes to die. |
on the other hand. today's a good day. my tutee (?) is a sweet 16- yr- old girl who reminds me of... well. me.
she wants to be a journalist. take media in poly. score in english. like me, she fears maths & science...
but somehow i know she won't end up in a JC. she sounds just as determined as i was in sec. 4 to NOT go jc.
thogh i ended up eating my words.
i'll make sure she gets her dream course and NOT go JC.
hey if i couldn't live my dreams, i'll at least make sure she does.
someone get me out of this.
this place where time stops yet everything still moves & change.
this place where i grow older by the minute but the restless fatigue & hollowness just don't go.
i am hollow.
empty.
echoes... echoes... echoes.
i want to meet u. maybe because your problems makes me feel better. bout my life. or maybe it's because i just want to be close to you. it's weird. i don't miss u. because i know ur nearby. there.
but i want to be chatting with u, laughing, not caring. why have we gone past that? will u ever be happy again?
pinch me again. do Matrix moves. do stupid silly things again la. please. make me throw empty Peach Tea bottles at u.
i can't stand this. this silence. this awkward days. this sad days. these days.
and you. i miss you. it's like having a part- time boyfriend. weekends only. night calls. only. it sucks. sorry. it does.
but i can't wait to meet you this saturday. it'll be nice to see you in uniform. that blue mat thing. hehe.
wow. i'm smiling. it's magical how only you can do this to me. no matter how worried i am bout you i can still smile.
but u. u make me sick with worry yet u don't know it. stupid me. how i wish i didn't care. u idiot.
and you. thank you for being you. the part- time boyfriend that you are. you're in my heart though.
always.
this place where time stops yet everything still moves & change.
this place where i grow older by the minute but the restless fatigue & hollowness just don't go.
i am hollow.
empty.
echoes... echoes... echoes.
i want to meet u. maybe because your problems makes me feel better. bout my life. or maybe it's because i just want to be close to you. it's weird. i don't miss u. because i know ur nearby. there.
but i want to be chatting with u, laughing, not caring. why have we gone past that? will u ever be happy again?
pinch me again. do Matrix moves. do stupid silly things again la. please. make me throw empty Peach Tea bottles at u.
i can't stand this. this silence. this awkward days. this sad days. these days.
and you. i miss you. it's like having a part- time boyfriend. weekends only. night calls. only. it sucks. sorry. it does.
but i can't wait to meet you this saturday. it'll be nice to see you in uniform. that blue mat thing. hehe.
wow. i'm smiling. it's magical how only you can do this to me. no matter how worried i am bout you i can still smile.
but u. u make me sick with worry yet u don't know it. stupid me. how i wish i didn't care. u idiot.
and you. thank you for being you. the part- time boyfriend that you are. you're in my heart though.
always.
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It’s your birthday
We gon’ party like it’s yo birthday
We gon’ sip bacardi like it’s your birthday
And you know we don’t give a fuck
It’s not your birthday!
You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami I got the x if you into taking drugs
I’m into having sex, I ain’t into making love
So come give me a hug if you into to getting rubbed
for the boy whose birthday falls now. in fact. 13th feb. happy birthday dino! rock on!
Thursday, February 12, 2004
got thru. but it's a bit... weird. long story.
tutoring job tmr. nervous.
feeling weird.
weird.
tutoring job tmr. nervous.
feeling weird.
weird.
hello! currently blogging from Wisma Mendaki. where i do volunteer work.
and no, izal, i DON"T get paid. go check "volunteer" in the dictionary. it is "sukarelawan" dude. lol.
auditions in about an hour's time or so. *panics*
wish me luck. lots and lots of it.
and no, izal, i DON"T get paid. go check "volunteer" in the dictionary. it is "sukarelawan" dude. lol.
auditions in about an hour's time or so. *panics*
wish me luck. lots and lots of it.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
feelin' blessed.
great day. stayed at home & called up places & stuff.
then evening was town with fahrur. met bruder at nite to pass him melons. lol.
oh. and i got a job. a tutoring one. it's like, $17/ hr. *drools*
and all of a sudden, i have 3 auditions to go. one tmr, one on saturday and one on 28th.
phew.
feels good to be desired. haha. tmr would be volunteer work again at Wisma Mendaki. then maybe a phone- call from that tuition centre. then auditions @ Raffles Place. wish me luck.
then friday, if i get thru the auditions, would be training for that modelling job.
here's the stickler.
the tutoring job starts friday. at 4. hopefully training would start early n end early. or i could try postponing tuition. but 1st day postpone like a bit... u know. don't look good.
haiya. as if i'll get thru e auditions. oh and also might be joining sheen's venture. sounds promising.
hopefully the money will come pouring in now.
*pray and pray and pray*
oh. and i bought gifts liao! a red cap for faizal. a heart- shaped dangly ear- rings for farhana. heart- shaped hot water bottle for mum which i personally think is so so so damn funky.
and.... *drumrolls*
a book for the baby in camp. "How to Be an Almost Perfect Husband- By Wives who Know."
recently i've been shunning talks of future & commitment & the likes. the gift would give him a boost. =)
and met his sec. sch. friend when in there- borders. he saw the book in my hand & he was like, "Get that, get that!" haha. bet he was like thinking of what to wear to our wedding on his way back already. doofus. lol.
it's all good when ur in love. hehe.
great day. stayed at home & called up places & stuff.
then evening was town with fahrur. met bruder at nite to pass him melons. lol.
oh. and i got a job. a tutoring one. it's like, $17/ hr. *drools*
and all of a sudden, i have 3 auditions to go. one tmr, one on saturday and one on 28th.
phew.
feels good to be desired. haha. tmr would be volunteer work again at Wisma Mendaki. then maybe a phone- call from that tuition centre. then auditions @ Raffles Place. wish me luck.
then friday, if i get thru the auditions, would be training for that modelling job.
here's the stickler.
the tutoring job starts friday. at 4. hopefully training would start early n end early. or i could try postponing tuition. but 1st day postpone like a bit... u know. don't look good.
haiya. as if i'll get thru e auditions. oh and also might be joining sheen's venture. sounds promising.
hopefully the money will come pouring in now.
*pray and pray and pray*
oh. and i bought gifts liao! a red cap for faizal. a heart- shaped dangly ear- rings for farhana. heart- shaped hot water bottle for mum which i personally think is so so so damn funky.
and.... *drumrolls*
a book for the baby in camp. "How to Be an Almost Perfect Husband- By Wives who Know."
recently i've been shunning talks of future & commitment & the likes. the gift would give him a boost. =)
and met his sec. sch. friend when in there- borders. he saw the book in my hand & he was like, "Get that, get that!" haha. bet he was like thinking of what to wear to our wedding on his way back already. doofus. lol.
it's all good when ur in love. hehe.
Happy birthday to youuu...
Happy birthday to youuuu...
Happy birthday my dear bruderrr...
.............. *drumrolls*
Ha.....ppy.... Birth....dayyyy.... toooo..... YOUUUUUUU...
*cue for applause*
thank you, thank you. *takes a bow*
and yeah my N.W.O bro, that was for you.
rock on muh man, and may 19 years of age bring you 19 times more joy & happiness!
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
|
Monday, February 09, 2004
i might never experience
what you're going through
and this pain you feel
is as new to me as it is to you
but for what it's worth
my friendship is always here
and for as long as it needs be
i'll be here for you.
i know you might not read this but i just want you to know, my dear crazy Mr. Best Friend, that i will always be here to provide the chocolate muffins @ 7 a.m. or the ever- listening ear @ 3 a.m. or to just be a fellow hindi movie buff @ 6 a.m.
anytime, anywhere. smile k? not all is lost yet.
fab day. met eddie koh at pj.
pj looks weird now btw. haha.
met emilia. damn fun talking to all this ppl...
watched last samurai at lot 1.
damn good movie!!! must watch ok?
eh any1 going to pj open hse?? eddie whispered to me that comfirm got GATECRASHERS.
so come on down n crash! hahaha.
pj looks weird now btw. haha.
met emilia. damn fun talking to all this ppl...
watched last samurai at lot 1.
damn good movie!!! must watch ok?
eh any1 going to pj open hse?? eddie whispered to me that comfirm got GATECRASHERS.
so come on down n crash! hahaha.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
latest!
hmm. just got off the phone. with dino & ronald. conferencing.
but first.
Thank you Muhd Hafiz Lim Yimin, for a lovely lovely simple Saturday out with my boyfriend. it made me forget for a moment that you're in camp 5 days a week and sometimes too tired to call me due to stupid PTs by sadistic PTIs.
dusk at Esplanade's Rooftop Terrace. beautiful.
lunch/ dinner at Satay Club was yummy. thank you dear.
hmm. and lovely walk down Singapore River and sitting by the river was fantastic. i've never felt better since u left for camp... =)
home at 9.45 p.m. and then some. hee hee.
10.15 p.m. was me with faizal, supper-ing at Kopitiam. cheapo. want me to treat him only...
anyway mr best friend is breaking up with fariha. for the thousandth time. BULLSHIT. haha. that's what i told him.
in less crude words la. haha.
home at 1.15 a.m. chatted with dino & ronald on the topic of "Rodney's Confusion." hilarious.
this young boys remind me so much of JC people. really. funny guys. very.
so here i am. a day is gone. tomorrow is brand new and guess what?
it's been a year & two months with you.
lovely lovely lovely.
nights world.
hmm. just got off the phone. with dino & ronald. conferencing.
but first.
Thank you Muhd Hafiz Lim Yimin, for a lovely lovely simple Saturday out with my boyfriend. it made me forget for a moment that you're in camp 5 days a week and sometimes too tired to call me due to stupid PTs by sadistic PTIs.
dusk at Esplanade's Rooftop Terrace. beautiful.
lunch/ dinner at Satay Club was yummy. thank you dear.
hmm. and lovely walk down Singapore River and sitting by the river was fantastic. i've never felt better since u left for camp... =)
home at 9.45 p.m. and then some. hee hee.
10.15 p.m. was me with faizal, supper-ing at Kopitiam. cheapo. want me to treat him only...
anyway mr best friend is breaking up with fariha. for the thousandth time. BULLSHIT. haha. that's what i told him.
in less crude words la. haha.
home at 1.15 a.m. chatted with dino & ronald on the topic of "Rodney's Confusion." hilarious.
this young boys remind me so much of JC people. really. funny guys. very.
so here i am. a day is gone. tomorrow is brand new and guess what?
it's been a year & two months with you.
lovely lovely lovely.
nights world.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Over the past 5 days...
1 TopShop skirt
1 TopShop boxer
1 TopShop panties
1 denim white splash- paint skirt
1 S.I.T.C- lookalike tube top
1 retro polka- dotted bag
1 denim bag
1 retro white PVC shoes
1 Ikea polka- dotted cushion
1 Ikea min- bolster
1 Ikea teddy bear
1 set of markers (?)
1 heart- shape ice- cube maker
1 Esprit black T- shirt
Total: 14 items, about $200/++
hafiz, come back soon. all this missing u has made me splurged like crazy. haha.
why didn't you call tonight? hmm...
oh, and i want u to get me that absolutely delicious looking shirt from Radioactive. hehe.
oh ya. and i love you. =p
1 TopShop skirt
1 TopShop boxer
1 TopShop panties
1 denim white splash- paint skirt
1 S.I.T.C- lookalike tube top
1 retro polka- dotted bag
1 denim bag
1 retro white PVC shoes
1 Ikea polka- dotted cushion
1 Ikea min- bolster
1 Ikea teddy bear
1 set of markers (?)
1 heart- shape ice- cube maker
1 Esprit black T- shirt
Total: 14 items, about $200/++
hafiz, come back soon. all this missing u has made me splurged like crazy. haha.
why didn't you call tonight? hmm...
oh, and i want u to get me that absolutely delicious looking shirt from Radioactive. hehe.
oh ya. and i love you. =p
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
shopped.
with my hard- earned paycheck...
yummy.
with my hard- earned paycheck...
yummy.
latest updates:
quit my job.
gonna tutor.
love life.
i'll be alone on feb 14th.
but that's ok.
love u hafiz. always. =)
quit my job.
gonna tutor.
love life.
i'll be alone on feb 14th.
but that's ok.
love u hafiz. always. =)
Sunday, February 01, 2004
i'm down with the flu.
but because you fetched me from work today and i saw your bald head and ate spaghetti from 7- 11 with you under my void deck...
the world can't be any more perfect.
but because you fetched me from work today and i saw your bald head and ate spaghetti from 7- 11 with you under my void deck...
the world can't be any more perfect.