being obscure clearly.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

i feel like a leashed dog forever waiting for her owner to spare some time to take her out for a walk.

oh ya.

have a merry new year.

welcome 2004. goodbye 2003.

bye- bye love... hello loneliness...

Sunday, December 28, 2003

went to D.I.T.I yesterday with Nafiur, Hidayat, Faizal and Hafiz.

then we walked from FCP to the funfair beside Wisma.

then we sat at Lido. then the guys went into Lido while me & you- know- who went to Borders.

and bought a 2004 organizer and a nice black notebook that i can doodle and bitch about in.

whee!

i'm heading straight- on into 2004.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

i'm writing afterall.

going to serangoon tmr...

eh no. later. say bout, 7 hours from now.

so why don't i sleep u ask?

cuz me, the smartass that i am, have requested my darl' to accompany me to go for a swim tmr.

i mean later. argh.

at eight freaking am.

8.30 a.m. at CCK stadium.

it's not even confirmed. but if it's on, then i can't sleep cuz if i do i won't wake up in time right?

so i am not sleeping.

i finished watching some hindi movie at 5.30 a.m.

so i'm gonna be awake for the next say, 20 hours.

and i HAVE been awake for... er... wait ah. oh. 15 hours.

so by the time i go to sleep the next time i would have been awake for about 35 hours.

wooow. now, now. isn't this absolutely fascinating?

Friday, December 26, 2003

i'm a big fat lazybum who can't be bothered to even feed myself but fortunately i know someone who knows someone who knows the supervisor in ikea so hopefully i'll get a bloody job there. *fingers crossed*

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

i wish i can just lie down... just be held in your arms. gaze at stars and reminisce old times... to just be with you. to feel that joyous fireworks bursting into colour as we talk the night away. eat some dunkin' donuts... maybe a hot chocolate... then a small mat and a blanket in case it gets cold. to just talk and talk and talk about everything and anything we feel like. to name stars. to listen to you tell me which star is which. i just want to be with you. breathe with you. to feel your nerves pumping blood to your heart and make you so alive and real beside me. to look at you really really really hard and to just say i love you real slow and look into your eyes when saying it. to memorise everything about you; your eyebrows, it's arch, your girly lashes, your pretty almond eyes, your dark lower lashes, your big nose, your pink- dotted cheeks, your small tiny lips and your ever listening ever there ears. i want to feel the realness. to ache so much. to just feel. to write poems. and paint stupid stick humans with you. maybe sing some songs. eat the donuts. have some chocolate. or orange juice. or black coffee. as black as the night- sky which hangs so near the top of our heads. it's vastness so overwhelming yet real. then we'll talk... and laugh. maybe we can play ludo. or snakes and ladder. maybe donkey. you'll let me win. or i'll scream your ears off. we'll be wrapped in nice thick sweaters and comfortable cosy long pants. i'll wear pretty socks with flowers on them and you'll wear those huge army socks of yours. i'll bring fimbo, yellow, mocha, cappucino, hippo and yet- to- be- named bear and we'll have so many things to hug. maybe we'll bring a nice book and we can read it together. or i could bring my compilation of fairytales and you can read them to me or we could take turns. then we'll sing nursery rhymes. eat more donuts. look out for falling stars. lie down on the roofless park/ carpark/ rooftop/ lighthouse/ beach and just appreciate the night. and ourselves.

then maybe we can fall asleep together and you can cuddle me in your arms while i nuzzle away in our warm thick blanket.

i think i just want to love you.

whoo whoo whoa.

had a whoopin' partaaay! haha. thanks to all who made it possible.

would like to thank all who came, who helped organize, who sent their regards, etc etc.

he was pleasantly surprised.

so we had lunch. the cake. the yummy food.

then we were off to town to buy bryan's xmas gift [ahem!] with ashik & hidayat.

madness.

yat dressed up as a mat erm... fierce cum rocker in topman. he looked so stupid. haha.

then we headed to the funfair where we had *free* ride thrills. hehe.

the boys played some games e.g. shoot tin cans, throw ball at tin cans, shoot at boxes... and won me two teddy bears. muahahaha.

ashik got a bear too. haha.

then they headed to DAISO to get the water guns i got for hafiz while i headed home to change up n fill up MY water gun for....

The Water Gun War at Blk 183 carpark.

hahaha. it was hilarious. they had a pail to refiil "ammo" and stuff...

at the end of the whole game they just bloody poured the pail on hafiz.

crazy.

so i had fun. and i came home and watched some vcds loaned from hana.

heh.

pigged out on pizza n chicken...

then logged on to update my blog.

and read some silly taggy on muh tagboard.

needless to say khai, you don't know me that well. and obviously you're not "jus a fren" cuz i don't remember you at all.

i'm sorry to have existed in your life but i'm glad i'm out of it. so keep me out of it and stop reading my blog.

to one and all, i had a fabulous day. esp. HANA!!! i love youuuu!!! must job- hunt together ok?!!

Monday, December 22, 2003

Someday

How the hell'd we wind up like this
And why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I''m gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
Someday somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I''m gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
Someday somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
I know you're wondering when

© 2003 Nickelback

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLIN' APEK!

hope you like the shoes. and the water gun. huahaha.

i love you love you love you love you.

you sexy skinny scrawny boy you.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

it's one of those nights.

when i wanna stay awake and just talk to someone.

unfortunately, there's no one.

i feel 10 inches tall.

u called me and babbled about 3 short sentences without me being able to squeeze in a word.

i called u n u were angry bout' something and said i can't talk to u now.

i msged u n u never replied.

i msged lots of people actually, n no reply.

that was, by the way, 3 different yous'.

i hate you.

i hope u deserve this party that has cost me a huge migraine.

so sick of today.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

aku sangat bingit.
tengok sekarang aku dah bebual melayu. macam siak.
kau tau ape aku nak cakap kat kompeni bodoh- bodoh tu yang nak sangat amik orang yang boleh cakap cina?
aku nak cakap yang kalau kau tu kedai dendeng haram takpe. cina je beli.
kalau clinic asst pun kene cakap cina, kau giler kepe ah.
kau ingat melayu takde sakit eh.
bodoh. kau kan ader kedai ginseng yang busuk dan bacin macam nenas basi.
kan banyak cina pegi situ. melayu pun pegi clinic la bodoh.
kau ingat ni china keper?
aku sangat geram.
kalau semua kau nak orang yg boleh cakap cina, jangan cakap negeri ni negeri berbilang bangsa bodoh.
hypokrit.
amik kau punye cine bukit banyak2 longgok ramai2 kat chinatown macam zaman perang.
pastu smue dapat kerje, melayu duduk tepi laut jadi nelayan.
kalau semua bangsa kau jer yang dapat kerje, melayu nak makan ape tolol???
dendeng bee cheng hiang kau tu ape?
bengap sak.
aku sangat bingit.

p.s. nothing racist up there. just venting my anger on this stupid need for chinese speaking people to be employed.

Friday, December 19, 2003

bruder, what u want for christmas?

n if ur wondering, i like the beatles shirt by ben sherman available at Topman. possibly only at the seiyu bugis branch.

ahem.

plus my ex is being an ass.

malay boys who don't use their brains can be such bloody know- it - all himbos.

get over it. it's been fucking years.

stop trying to redeem yourself with me. go do that with YOUR girlfriend stupid.

fucking balloon between your ears.

i forgot something.

in planning this whole surprise shindig.

and i can't sleep till i've figured out what it is.

i'm so bloody anal.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

woots~

that was fast. i know i know.

it seems perfect.

amiran's cafe. a lil cosy restaurant tucked in bugis.

food is western. mocktails available. reasonable pricing. rave reviews.

pasta, surf n turf, hickory chicken, just to name a few.

looks good to me.

the addie: No. 33 Liang Seah Street, #01-01/ 03
Singapore 189054

basically bugis area.

hmm. lotsa info on its webbie. those interested in coming or in amirans cafe, click here.

tag me tag me!

fast one here.

anyone who knows hafiz is invited to his surprise b- day erm.... lunch this coming monday.
it's supposed to be a date for us two but oh well.

surprise him ya.

pref. no needs for gifts cuz' it's gonna be u eat u pay. i.e no sponsored food. just ppl sitting together having fun.
however, if u insist on a gift, many many thanks to you. *hugs*

hafiz is the best guy in the world therefore he deserves the best.

keep an eye on this site to be updated.

still thinking of place. but time will roughly be noon- ish. yeap. PLEASE keep monday noon free k???? bryan??? please? can? and anyone else whose working/ always busy/ etc etc.

pls try n be there. he will really really appreciate it.

for now, i need ideas on place to go. where 'celebrations' are allowed. swensens is ok but hafiz is not quite the swensens boy. besides if there's too many of us it'll be too packed for a swensens restaurant.

food place suggestions has to be halal, affordable for all, conveniently placed and erm... allows outside food e.g. cake? n not too pishposhtishtosh for us boisterous noisy youths.

k tag me or lve a shout out bout any ideas or suggestions k. i'll keep u informed.

bombs away!!!!

i might as well.

this friendly neighbour... this boy- next- door boy is becoming too... close.

it's a love- hate relationship. now i love his cats + youngest sister too.

why am i so scandalous in every relationship?

as a matter of fact, i just pissed of my EX with some MORE news he didn't know when we were together.

like me making out with my boyfriend. the one i got attached too after we split. what the...

irrelevant boy.

anyway.

this faizal.

he's... enticing. addictive. charming. yea. a charmer.

we [me him + sis] played ludo together. and he kept targeting me.

the double entendres throughout the game... uugh. it's ludo for god's sake.

and how comfortable he is. like an old wooly & torn blanket. warm & comforting & familiar.

when he was throwing darts i took a sneak glance at him.

and he looked so serious & cute & boyish under the dim light that i had to look again.

argh... why does this always happen to me?

he is so pro- Fariha + me so pro- Hafiz.

sometimes it's almost like we're being pro- our other half to... i dunno. make ourselves feel better.

argh. it's just weird. sometimes it seems to be just me. sometimes he starts it.

whyyyy.

why me.

but i think he sensed something the last time he held my arm.

he's stopped the overdosage of physical contact.

but that only makes it seem more... i dunno. like there was an ulterior motive.

like it wasn't just friendly gestures. arghhhhhh.

i think too much & i'm just too muddled. like stephen blackpool was.

oh. and need i mention that i just got back from his place. at 5.30 a.m.

like i said, i might as well have the fucking torrid affair & get it over & done with.

how can i love u so much & how can he love her so much when we do weird things together?

i still love hafiz. there's no questioning that. i'm just...

me.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

i need a new pet.

see? again he came. to my blog. what's with the surprise 'attacks'?

trying to find out who i'm having an affair with is it? hehe.

see. boys are so stubborn. they never listen.

i need a new pet. maybe a parrot. no, that'll talk too much.

i wonder if hamsters are as stubborn as he is.

=p

oh. n widah asked if i wanna go club tonight.

dilemma.

mum. hafiz. me. yes. no.

dilemma.

meoow.

feeling very feline today.

lazy... lying around... being majestic & a royal lazybum.

puurrr.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

How Picky Are You?

My score: 34%

"Your willingness to look beyond the surface for other qualities shows that you are grounded in reality when looking for a relationship. Just beware of going with the flow too much and settling for 'OK' instead of 'fantastic.'"

but that's ok. cuz' i'm with whooo whooo whoa.

he came.

of all days to visit my blog, he visited it today.

hence. that totally rids me of any ideas of what to get for his birthday.

boys are so cumbersome.

oh.and i want that Beatles t- shirt. no. i want all 5 of em'. that's $59 x 5.

moaaaaaaaan.

gimme a job. any job. gimme moolah. gimme money i give u... erm. hug.

mooooooooneeeeeeeeeey.

Monday, December 15, 2003

let's go point by point...

one.

was on my way back from mum's company dinner saturday night at tanah merah. was almost dozing off in the bus when i remembered something as i gazed out at the flashes of vehicles passing by...

"easy peasy Japan-eesy."

wooly's son. woolhead. it's been less than a month since i last walked out of "hell- hole" and i miss it already. this is bad...

two.

i need a job. it will make me stop missing stupid things like one and help finance my future expenditure.

three.

it's freaking hard to get a job. but i need the moolah. wanna buy new hp. the samsung one. with diamante on it's front. so... i dunno. pyseudo rich.

four.

need $$$ to buy his birthday gift too. why the hell did we get attached so near to his birthday? it leaves me neatly broke in december. sigh. don't anyone breathe a word to him. but what should i buy? le coq sportif matching sneakers [$109 x 2]... gameboy advance SP [$150 not incl. catridges], PS- 2 [$208...!!!...], gameboy advance [$120], X- Box [$250 +/-]. must think of budget n how to explain to his mum + how convenient/ use- able it'll be for him.

five.

it's magic.
how i can just read things i wrote before and still tear up for you.
how i can read things you wrote for me before and feel the pain.
like the wound opening up again.
why did it go the way it did.
why couldn't you believe in yourself and not others.
why did you throw you away.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

someone give me the strength & energy to scan my bloody prom pics, hari raya pics, zoo pics... and 1000s of other pics. i am so bloody mutherfuucken layzee.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CURE MY INSOMNIA.

i've been feeling weird lately. like something's missing. i lost something. i know i did. but i can't put a finger on what the hell it is.

i lost a little of you. i know that. i read and re- read my previous entry and i know that the last dialogue were the words i want to hear. i want to believe. the lines on love. i don't know.

i feel lost. lately i think alot about the future. and your role in it. will you still be there?

i need some sort of reassurance. which is ridiculous cuz' you're the most reassuring thing in the world.

but why...?

it's going to solve by itself. i know it will. but i still lost something. and i don't know what it is.

neither do you.

Friday, December 12, 2003

he says: "do you want me?"

she says: "yes."

he says: "are you sure?"

she says: "no."

it's confirmed.

I AM OFFICIALLY BORED.

let's try it again.

he says: "why do we like other people if we have found The One?"

she says: "maybe it's the young blood. we're bound to have crushes."

he says: "but that's how love begins, is it not?"

she says nothing.

one more tiiiime...

he says: "how do you know it's love? it's The One?"

she says: "you can't know. not until you're dead. then God will tell you."

he says: "then what do we hold on to? what makes us think we're in love?"

she says: "we hold on to each other. we believe this is love. even if only two of us believes, it's enough."

i'll go mad at this rate.

what the hell is wrong with me.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

you know what i miss?

secondary school crushes.

the giggly, funny and pure innocence of it all.

the painful tears of
yesterday
that simply can't be wiped
the large gaping wound in
the heart of love
that simply wasn't replied.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

you know it's funny that no matter how happy you are, how contented you may be with the state that your life is in now, there will be that nagging sense of hollowness.

like there is something missing yet still.

like there is still something not right with your life regardless of what you have.

like a deep sense of loneliness that was always present but never showed.

like now.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

tired & smelly.

the first is because the Singapore Zoological Gardens is 28 hectares big.

the latter is because it holds 2923 animals & 412 species.

and they're capable of shitloads of... shit.

and they roll around in it.

hmm... the pigs were smelly. so was the pygmy hippo. so FAT! and UGLY! and it came so close. so so ugly. the camels were super stinky cuz' they shit in small brown balls & they ROLL AROUND in it. i'm not kidding. eurgh.

the orang utans are so clever! so smart. i can even safely say that they're smarter than certain Man. tsk, tsk.

the Bengal White Tiger were pretty... so majestic. so were the lions. at one point they started, i dunno, bawling? no. wait. roaring. yea. i heard the lions & lionesses roared. cool. so funky.

the crocodile is called Alfie. too cute for an animal that was so HUGE. and they're so lazy! they just sleep. and sleep. and sleep. but they're so biiig. so scary. even hafiz was freaked. it was surreal.

and the kangaroos hopped right over the railing! oh my god! it was so cute! no wonder it was in an enclosure. and all the baby kangaroos were like, hoppity hoppity. so small. i asked hafiz if i could keep a baby kangaroo as a pet. currently my fave animal, next to butterflies. whee.

oh ya! and we went into this simulacra of a rainforest. haha. it was an enclosure but a humongous one. walked around the whole thing & was constantly surrounded by pretty pretty butterflies! and a duck waddled right past me. quack quack. yea, it quacked. so funny.

the snakes scared me. one, was the exhibit of the rattlesnake. it's so small, compared to the others so i went near it. and i stupidly did not see the speaker on top of it and it suddenly went, "Hissss....!" i was so shocked i almost fell backwards. it sounds funny now but i was very shocked. my heartbeat quadrupled at that moment.

and there was no giraffes!!! they're at the Night Safari. so we're going there next. and we really looked like tourists just now, me in my camera. and a bit like school excursion kids cuz' we bothwore caps. haha.

oooh. and the elephants are huuuuuge. it came like, THIS [makes a scrunchy face & shows tiny space between thumb & index finger] near to me. i have the pictures to prove this. *smugs* lol.

the Play Land is so fun. too bad we're too old to play in the play pool. never mind. we'll go Jurong East Water Theme Park this thursday. hehe.

he bought me a cake. and the snow globe with Belle in her yellow gown with the Beast. *tears* i've wanted it since father's day.

i got him a snow globe too, but in the middle was a picture of us, post- prom & during our hari raya visiting. plus matching tees. and a scrapbook of our relationship. how we met & all the memories. =)

then went town & mum treated us to dinner at Magic Wok. yummy sambal prawn & sambal kangkong. burp.

then he left while me & mum did some shopping for her coming D & D which is themed, Hawaiian Nite. la la la. bought a black skirt and a tube with a butterfly on it. yay! i love retail. and butterflies.

and hafiz.

thank you to all well- wishers... i hope we last well into my no- teeth- no black hair- wrinkly skin & menopausal days too.

love, love, love...

all you need is love!

spread it all around! Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 08, 2003

One Year Anniversary.

A year has passed between us. Before I knew it, 12 months flew by while I was busy arguing with you, laughing with you, crying with you… loving you. 365 days have gone between our constant banters, our petty fights, our “makan” days, our Esplanade mugging weeks, our Haagen- Daaz obsession and our 5- minute meetings at Bukit Panjang Plaza.

Old PJC building days. Post- promos when you boys would play Scorpion K.O at the dimly- lit area in front of the old A05 class. While I get girly post- break- up therapy from Ruzainah. When that day you guys went IMM to buy chicken. A WHOLE chicken. And pizza. And you bought “han ching pei”. I remember calling it Cheena food. Then Ruz tried it and said it was nice. And you smirked at me and teasingly asked if I want some. And instead of ripping a piece like you did for Ruz, you fed me. That wretched “han ching pei” which made me melt so. Then when I had difficulties peeling the chicken, you gave the piece you peeled to me. How sweet. Oh, and how could I forget that you were sitting beside me all along.

Our dikir barat days. When you always looked so cute and adorable. Don’t ask me why. You were always the clown and you always cracked me up. And the last few days when you didn’t want to go for dikir if I wasn’t going. How I hoped it was because you like me, and not just for the company. How happy I was when you got mad at me for saying I was going for dikir then didn’t. Cuz’ you went. Thinking I was. And I actually got dressed and went cuz I wanted to see you so much.

When we went for pizza at Causeway Point. When I first saw you at the control station. When we sat beside each other. When you asked me, “What soup do you want?” My heart felt like a speeding jet- ski. You’ll never know how much deeper I fell for you when you asked me for that soup. The way you bent lower to hear what I want, the way you asked before just assuming what I want. “What soup do you want?” It still sends ripples through me, that line.

The days when I was crushing on you. When I looked forward to your messages, and yours only. When every morning, I’m awakened by my beeping phone at exactly 9.30 a.m. When I smiled & giggled to myself as I read those stupid forwarded messages you used to send me while I was still curled up under my blanket. You always messaged me at that time. Being the early- bird that you are. I felt so blessed to wake up to the sun shining through my window and reading messages from you, although you didn’t know I liked you.

So many precious moments. When you first asked. 3.49 p.m. When I asked, “Are you sure? What about your mum? Does she know?” When you said, “No… she doesn’t know… but I’ll take the risk Fiza… for you it’s worth it.” And I’m writing all this from memory… “It’s all clear now. I love you, Fiza. I want you to be mine. Will you be mine?”

Then when we wanted to keep it a secret from the school people. The secretive hand- holding during our Hari Raya outings with the PJ crowd. Hiding it under the table or under my handbag. The thought of it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. When we first held hand. In the bus 51 heading towards Queenstown Shopping Centre to get school stuff. How I felt like I never wanted to let it go. And you did, for a while, to put your wallet back in your pocket. Then later that day you kissed my forehead at the bus- stop across Far East Plaza. I felt so at peace with the world. I wish I’ll never forget this day but I probably will. There’s so much more memories to make dear. So many, many more.

Since then, time have past by in a haze. With the bustling of school and the A Level preparations, we became too busy to spend time in love. We took it for granted we’ll always be together. But love is not like that. Love has to be nurtured. Fed. Like a flower. It has to be watched and cared for daily and not only when we feel like it. But unlike a flower, our love won’t ever die.

There has been times when you hurt me. Or I hurt you. We’ve probably hurt each other more often than we realized. But I know for sure, we never meant to. And that none of it is enough to make me let you go. Our love will stand the test of time. I promise.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

let's take a look at the past week...

Monday: Me + My Baby hit Sentosa for some R & R. ooh yummy. the delifrance b-fast by the beach, the tan, the jet- ski show... yeah. island life, love it!

Tuesday: My dear darl insisted on meeting up though i set a no- meeting- up- 3- days- before- prom rule months ago. MacD breakfast + back to pj for prolly the last time in 2003 to clear our lockers. we have memories there. oh yes we do. *smiles*

Wednesday: Me n Fahrur painted the town red with our shopping & wandering. Had glorious giggly fun + of course, retail is always goooood.

Thursday: Prom Night. hummm... 'ave read so many long entries on prom nite i don't really know what to mention. highlight of the night would of course be Nicholas Bloodworth a.k.a Red Mohawk Hair Jon Bon Jovi/ Prom Beau nominee. the skits + games stuff were funny. EXCEPT for the stupid networking one. glasses broke, heads got hit & people got entangled. there were shrieks of "my hair! my hair! MY hair! MY HAIRRR!" "my shaaaaaawl!" "Oi oi oi!"

i just went, "STOP PULLING!" + "Oi! MY BREASTS!"

cuz' they were bloody tugging at it. dumbos.

prom beau & belle were a disappointment. they are totally NOT the most good- looking people that night. period. what about tian su? or karen? or lydia? blind numbnuts. n nick should 'ave been Prom Beau. i mean, c'mon, our PROM BEAU was wearing ADIDAS SUPERSTARS. to PROM. gaaaah.

ahm. wandered round town a lil'. me n him got to take a pic at the giant christmas tree. then it was some sit & chat + rush for last train. dropped @ kranji n took cab home. giggly fun in cab, again. i did a frank sinatra thing with fahur's hat. khekhe.

Friday: just got back from Hari Raya visiting with my sec. sch pals. got some ching ching but am pooped. nites!

Friday, December 05, 2003

and so the night came... and went.

it was a lovely night.

the people, the crowd, the smiles... everyone seemed happy to me.

maybe i'm ignorant. or selective. but it all seemed great to me.

haqeem the gorilla. my boyfriend the oh- so - kiasu boy desperate for X- BOX.

fahrur n his hat. noora and her quirky, should i say?, eating habits.

doris + huimin + jac in their super chio stuff. was so surprised to see ducky! so chiooo! hee.

nazreen, indrani, lingesh, n whoever else in their sarees.

bryan in his out- of - nowhere- popped- out outfit. lol.

i had a lovely prom. funny, loud, happy, spunky.

just the way i like it.

yum.

p.s. and yup. pictures coming righttttt up by the weekend. promise. =)

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

PROM!

went last- minute shopping with fahrur today, had great fun.

think lots of people will be wearing black. oh well. too late to buy a new dress considering i spent a bomb on this.

and i love it anyway. it's yummy. haha.

and i think this whole looking good for prom thing is becoming dumb.

it's prom. dinner + dance. without dance for pj's case.

but ya, no one said u have to look like a million dollars.

it's just to have good fun with friends. =]

i know i will.

Monday, December 01, 2003

The Band Played On

such a sad movie.

the battle against AIDS.

a suspected AIDS victim was caught in a car crash and instead of an ambulance, the police called the Hazardous Materials Dept.

a dying man. was a hazardous material.

dead AIDS victims weren't embalmed by funeral parlours.

policemen used MASKS to prevent contracting AIDS.

despite knowing that the possibility that people are contracting AIDS due to unclean blood donors, the Centre for Disease Control refused to start a procedure of testing blood donors for the virus.

because 8 dead haemophiliacs aren't enough to convince them to spend thousands on that tedious procedure.

oh those money- minded arseshit professors!

felt like kicking fooking fucktard Dr. Gallo. who refused to acknowledge that the Paris labs found the retrovirus first. doh.

big deal who found it first! it's a freaking virus you kapu- neneh!

grr. so much angst.

but the finale was so sad.

that song. the candles. the kids. reaching out to the camera like they're reaching out to you.

"I have AIDS. Hug Me. I won't make you sick."

random twitterings