I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
Hana
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
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Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Sunday, August 31, 2003
just a teeny- weeny break between studying...
found this in my archives. from my ol' fruity blog. =p
[4/4/2003 10:52:10 PM | fiza zali]
"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."
-Unknown
that's how i feel for my boyfriend...... hehe. he makes me smile. makes me happy. makes me feel all warm n fuzzy inside. he's like a warm blanket on a rainy afternoon. n there's milk n chocolate cookies. he's like ur favourite rugged soft toy. he's my teddy bear. a classic. he makes me feel like mary poppins, like i can fly. he makes me sing my way home after meeting him. he makes me sleepless the night before we meet. he makes me love my life. he taught me how to embrace each n every beauty of life. he makes me appreciate blue skies, orange clouds during sunset, black clouds on rainy days..... my smiles has him in it. maybe that's why they are brighter lately. he makes me hug myself cuz i feel so loved. he makes me feel romantic. lovey- dovey. makes me feel..... on top of the world. he makes me fall in love. i am falling in love every time i breathe.
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
-Barbara Streissand
wonder why i don't talk in such "lovey- dovey" manner in my blog n'more. taking him for granted, maybe? *guilty feeling sets in* sigh. time has a way of changing things don't they.
p.s. check out cat empire! check out felix riebl! totally cutie!
p.p.s. don't know what i'm talking about? see previous entry.
found this in my archives. from my ol' fruity blog. =p
[4/4/2003 10:52:10 PM | fiza zali]
"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."
-Unknown
that's how i feel for my boyfriend...... hehe. he makes me smile. makes me happy. makes me feel all warm n fuzzy inside. he's like a warm blanket on a rainy afternoon. n there's milk n chocolate cookies. he's like ur favourite rugged soft toy. he's my teddy bear. a classic. he makes me feel like mary poppins, like i can fly. he makes me sing my way home after meeting him. he makes me sleepless the night before we meet. he makes me love my life. he taught me how to embrace each n every beauty of life. he makes me appreciate blue skies, orange clouds during sunset, black clouds on rainy days..... my smiles has him in it. maybe that's why they are brighter lately. he makes me hug myself cuz i feel so loved. he makes me feel romantic. lovey- dovey. makes me feel..... on top of the world. he makes me fall in love. i am falling in love every time i breathe.
"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
-Barbara Streissand
wonder why i don't talk in such "lovey- dovey" manner in my blog n'more. taking him for granted, maybe? *guilty feeling sets in* sigh. time has a way of changing things don't they.
p.s. check out cat empire! check out felix riebl! totally cutie!
p.p.s. don't know what i'm talking about? see previous entry.
i danced in the rain tonight. it washed away all my pain and sadness.
listening to cat empire's cd which i bought at womad.
wearing the cat empire's t- shirt that i bought at womad.
love cat empire. especially a particular cutie named felix who signed my shirt, cd and EZ- link card. heh.
just got back. womad was perfect & beautiful. wonderful music. kudos to Afro Celts for the encore performance. it R-A-W-K-E-D.
but cat empire rules my world now. la la la... *khello, khello...* oh the raspy voice of felix... *melts*
but what's with ang mohs and erotic dancing? u just wiggle a lil' and they'll flock to u like u just went "come screw me!" grr.
and i think the stupid ang moh who tried to dance erotica with me made these buncha malay boys think i'm a SPG. sigh. stereotyped. for life.
got pushed and shoved but just kept dancing. Afro Celts kept me groovin n movin' alright. yeaah.
do check out cat empire's webbie. www.thecatempire.com am now too lazy & tired too link.
i [sound?] look, [smell?] feel, [taste?] shagged. pleasantly shagged. dancing is miracle dosage for all ailment. especially in the rain. hmm...
i'm
totally
pooped
now.
shall sleep.
no more talk.
g'nite.
ZZZzzzzz.
listening to cat empire's cd which i bought at womad.
wearing the cat empire's t- shirt that i bought at womad.
love cat empire. especially a particular cutie named felix who signed my shirt, cd and EZ- link card. heh.
just got back. womad was perfect & beautiful. wonderful music. kudos to Afro Celts for the encore performance. it R-A-W-K-E-D.
but cat empire rules my world now. la la la... *khello, khello...* oh the raspy voice of felix... *melts*
but what's with ang mohs and erotic dancing? u just wiggle a lil' and they'll flock to u like u just went "come screw me!" grr.
and i think the stupid ang moh who tried to dance erotica with me made these buncha malay boys think i'm a SPG. sigh. stereotyped. for life.
got pushed and shoved but just kept dancing. Afro Celts kept me groovin n movin' alright. yeaah.
do check out cat empire's webbie. www.thecatempire.com am now too lazy & tired too link.
i [sound?] look, [smell?] feel, [taste?] shagged. pleasantly shagged. dancing is miracle dosage for all ailment. especially in the rain. hmm...
i'm
totally
pooped
now.
shall sleep.
no more talk.
g'nite.
ZZZzzzzz.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
currently naked as i write all this cuz i'm supposed to be changing for womad but i have no idea what to wear so i'm just trying everything in my cupboard on and everything looks so wrong arghhh i'm gonna go crazy this is worse then preparing for a levels oh god now i sound bimbotic but i've been mugging for italian n german unification for 5 straight hours therefore i don't think i qualify to be a bimbo oh yes k i've got my jeans on now oh dear i should just shut up and get dressed have a great weekend friends!
Friday, August 29, 2003
hilarious: you are as funny as the cheekiest guys
in class and know everything thats happening on
TV and all the hot places to chill. you aren't
a typical bubblegum princess, you pride
yourself on your musical picks and your
attitude. sometimes you get carried away and
often get scolded for that, but otherwise if
people want to have fun then you're the person
they'll come to! you can be as girlie as
britney when you're in the mood and as hard
assed as pink when you want. your mates love
you for being so; fun, interesting and
unpredictable, you go girl!
what kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla
in class and know everything thats happening on
TV and all the hot places to chill. you aren't
a typical bubblegum princess, you pride
yourself on your musical picks and your
attitude. sometimes you get carried away and
often get scolded for that, but otherwise if
people want to have fun then you're the person
they'll come to! you can be as girlie as
britney when you're in the mood and as hard
assed as pink when you want. your mates love
you for being so; fun, interesting and
unpredictable, you go girl!
what kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla
*hums fly me to the moon by frank sinatra*
watched down with love with hafiz... yummy yummy yummy! i love the movie. so retro!
feeling happy and in love. yay yay!
*hums cheers to love by renee and ewan*
la la la la la...
Fly me to the moon
Frank Sinatra
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me
Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
met hafiz's friends before the movie. watched em' play pool. funny buncha boys. decent. funny. likeable. not tainted by the world. delicious diversion.
could see why hafiz enjoy their company so. i did, too, though we only met for an hour or so. nafiur, his bangla friend, is particularly nice. i think we click. he's nice and gentlemanly. and funny. i think he's one of the nicest among hafiz's friends.
and he kinda removed the anger i felt due to a particular jc friend. a guy. not hafiz. shall not say more. so nervy sometimes la that boy.
will be going to womad tomorrow... whee! so must study like siao from morn to like, 5- ish. *mug mug mug mug mug*
i love retro stuff. love nice people who make me feel nice. love good movies. love my good friends. love music. love frank sinatra. love love. love you. thank you for today.
womad here i come!!!
watched down with love with hafiz... yummy yummy yummy! i love the movie. so retro!
feeling happy and in love. yay yay!
*hums cheers to love by renee and ewan*
la la la la la...
Fly me to the moon
Frank Sinatra
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me
Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
met hafiz's friends before the movie. watched em' play pool. funny buncha boys. decent. funny. likeable. not tainted by the world. delicious diversion.
could see why hafiz enjoy their company so. i did, too, though we only met for an hour or so. nafiur, his bangla friend, is particularly nice. i think we click. he's nice and gentlemanly. and funny. i think he's one of the nicest among hafiz's friends.
and he kinda removed the anger i felt due to a particular jc friend. a guy. not hafiz. shall not say more. so nervy sometimes la that boy.
will be going to womad tomorrow... whee! so must study like siao from morn to like, 5- ish. *mug mug mug mug mug*
i love retro stuff. love nice people who make me feel nice. love good movies. love my good friends. love music. love frank sinatra. love love. love you. thank you for today.
womad here i come!!!
Thursday, August 28, 2003
let me begin with a darlin' lady... i lurve this b/w piccies...
Judy Garland
Which Classic movie actress are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i don't know bout' the married part... ???
You grew up without your parents, disease took them
when you were young. Your wife too was lost to
illness, and although you'd already begun
studying what there was of medicine, it was
only after she had left you that your life had
real purpose. You were going to cure the world.
You worked long hours, you did your best to
heal the sick and help the hurting. You
believed in what you were doing. And one night
you had a little bit too much to drink... and
another life left the world, one you could have
saved, one you should have saved. Karma is
giving you a second chance. This lifetime, you
will have the chance to make a difference, to
help or heal, cure or care. Take that chance,
use it well, or you'll be stuck repeating this
over and over. You're already somewhat health-
conscious and that can be used to your
advantage. You're already at times protective,
and that's a good trait. The only thing you
really need to beware of is being used - not
everyone is looking for help, some just want an
easy ride, and that is NOT what you are here to
give.
What were you in a Past Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
idea of bein' kissed by two men is appealing enoug for me... =p
"The Philadelphia Story" starring Cary
Grant and Katharine Hepburn.
* What Classic Movie Are You? *
brought to you by Quizilla
oooh... i love this chocolate!
Hershey's Kisses: Your life is beautiful and almost
perfect. Your life is well-planned, and every
detail of it means a lot to you. You are a
special person...in a sense that even though
you may not have such a big impact on this
world, you mean much to the people who are
close to you...
Life is like a box of chocolates...which one are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
more chocolate quizzes...
Chocolate Birthday Cake
What Chocolate Personality Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
p.s. reminds me of the round- roundy chocolate birthday cake i'm getting come 5th sept. =]
this is here jus bkuz of this pretty pretty girl... Mmmm~
You are white chocolate. You're very sensitive to
other people's feelings. You are a very caring
and trendy person.
What's your chocolate?
brought to you by Quizilla
chocolatey day! yay!
Judy Garland
Which Classic movie actress are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
i don't know bout' the married part... ???
You grew up without your parents, disease took them
when you were young. Your wife too was lost to
illness, and although you'd already begun
studying what there was of medicine, it was
only after she had left you that your life had
real purpose. You were going to cure the world.
You worked long hours, you did your best to
heal the sick and help the hurting. You
believed in what you were doing. And one night
you had a little bit too much to drink... and
another life left the world, one you could have
saved, one you should have saved. Karma is
giving you a second chance. This lifetime, you
will have the chance to make a difference, to
help or heal, cure or care. Take that chance,
use it well, or you'll be stuck repeating this
over and over. You're already somewhat health-
conscious and that can be used to your
advantage. You're already at times protective,
and that's a good trait. The only thing you
really need to beware of is being used - not
everyone is looking for help, some just want an
easy ride, and that is NOT what you are here to
give.
What were you in a Past Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
idea of bein' kissed by two men is appealing enoug for me... =p
"The Philadelphia Story" starring Cary
Grant and Katharine Hepburn.
* What Classic Movie Are You? *
brought to you by Quizilla
oooh... i love this chocolate!
Hershey's Kisses: Your life is beautiful and almost
perfect. Your life is well-planned, and every
detail of it means a lot to you. You are a
special person...in a sense that even though
you may not have such a big impact on this
world, you mean much to the people who are
close to you...
Life is like a box of chocolates...which one are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
more chocolate quizzes...
Chocolate Birthday Cake
What Chocolate Personality Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
p.s. reminds me of the round- roundy chocolate birthday cake i'm getting come 5th sept. =]
this is here jus bkuz of this pretty pretty girl... Mmmm~
You are white chocolate. You're very sensitive to
other people's feelings. You are a very caring
and trendy person.
What's your chocolate?
brought to you by Quizilla
chocolatey day! yay!
the night when my boyfriend finally farted in front of me after a polite, diplomatic, gentlemanly 8 months worth of silence on his airpipe's part.
i'll just take it as sign that he is no longer shy or awkward around me. yes. ok. i'll keep telling myself that- i see more to come now that the shell [or protective fart- filter] is down and out.
umm.
yes.
he is more open to me now. he regards me as someone who'll accept him for what he is. ok. i feel better. and in case you were wondering, it was at about 8.56 p.m. while we were sitting on the school track 'admiring' the night sky. and since we were SEATED, the fart sounded FUNKY. a very long repressed fart. two of em' too, while at it. pile it on, hafiz.
haha. but today was a nice day for us. yay. it's nice to finally make peace.
i just realized i'm almost done with role of govt. only left with distributive function, stabilisation function, public finance and economic growth. then i'm done with J2 work. and can start revising. whee! i feel... soothed. less rush-y.
i will take a quiz later. so watch this spot. [garrrhahaha.]
saw eddie koh while hafiz, mum, fahrur and me were walking back from eating at the coffeeshop at teck whye. so cute. he hid behind a pillar. then when i said that's my mum he was like, "oh, ok, sorry, sorry!" so funny. being his usual crazy funny self.
hope he'll have fun at bintan. and buy bruder his bubble gum. haha.
and..................................... CONGRATS ON THE PASS, BRUDER!!!!!! hahaha. now i'll feel safe when i go swimming with bryan. hiak hiak hiak.
tomorrow will see me coming to school just for my dear daniel who insisted that i come to watch him. then in a cab back to G.E.S.S. meet up old friends, screw old teachers. hehe. can't wait. i miss that darlin' ol' place. then maybe to town with hafiz to catch down with love. maybe. *fingers crossed* i won't hope so. so that i won't be so hurt. heh.
well. will take quiz now. see ya people! happy teachers' day to bryan and me- potential teachers! muahahaha... [keep ur kids away from us!]
i'll just take it as sign that he is no longer shy or awkward around me. yes. ok. i'll keep telling myself that- i see more to come now that the shell [or protective fart- filter] is down and out.
umm.
yes.
he is more open to me now. he regards me as someone who'll accept him for what he is. ok. i feel better. and in case you were wondering, it was at about 8.56 p.m. while we were sitting on the school track 'admiring' the night sky. and since we were SEATED, the fart sounded FUNKY. a very long repressed fart. two of em' too, while at it. pile it on, hafiz.
haha. but today was a nice day for us. yay. it's nice to finally make peace.
i just realized i'm almost done with role of govt. only left with distributive function, stabilisation function, public finance and economic growth. then i'm done with J2 work. and can start revising. whee! i feel... soothed. less rush-y.
i will take a quiz later. so watch this spot. [garrrhahaha.]
saw eddie koh while hafiz, mum, fahrur and me were walking back from eating at the coffeeshop at teck whye. so cute. he hid behind a pillar. then when i said that's my mum he was like, "oh, ok, sorry, sorry!" so funny. being his usual crazy funny self.
hope he'll have fun at bintan. and buy bruder his bubble gum. haha.
and..................................... CONGRATS ON THE PASS, BRUDER!!!!!! hahaha. now i'll feel safe when i go swimming with bryan. hiak hiak hiak.
tomorrow will see me coming to school just for my dear daniel who insisted that i come to watch him. then in a cab back to G.E.S.S. meet up old friends, screw old teachers. hehe. can't wait. i miss that darlin' ol' place. then maybe to town with hafiz to catch down with love. maybe. *fingers crossed* i won't hope so. so that i won't be so hurt. heh.
well. will take quiz now. see ya people! happy teachers' day to bryan and me- potential teachers! muahahaha... [keep ur kids away from us!]
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
i've been poked and prickled and voodoo-ed through n through.
freaky info: me n hafiz kinda argued. of sorts. not really anyone's fault- circumstances. anyway. we just decided to sleep over it. but while i was doing self- study and he was at home, he msged me a few times. normal. till this one came...
Linked
1/2:
Truffleschnup
and
Frubblescotch..
We were meant to be
together.
Truffleschnup
and frubblescotch..
We were meant
to be together..
Truffleschnup
and frubbl
Linked:
2/2
escotch.. We
were meant to
be together.
Truffleschnup
and
frubblescotch..
We were meant
to be together.
i don't know bout u but it sure as hell freaked me out. guess it was meant to be a sweet thought and would have probably been quite and aaw- material if i wasn't mugging for econs. but i was so... yeah. i replied: "are u chanting?"
he never replied. wonder if i sounded... wrong. was it wrong? no idea. it was an honest question. came to the conclusion he WAS chanting after a no- show [or no reply] for hours. decided that he was voodoo-ing me. haha. when i started talking gibberish with krist, just blamed it all on the voodoo doll effect. and of course... didn't get to absorb much econs info... voodoo doll: pins poked at my head= lose gray cells. hahaha.
i don't mean to sound so nonchalant or mean bout our disagreement... but i just want to take the lighter side of things. i mean, we had a great day till the later part... why let it spoil everything rite? so i just took it all in with a tinge of humour... if he didn't appreciate it... today isn't a day i feel like being patronising. by the way. will be going to school alone tomorrow. hey hey hey... yeah. maybe that would make us treasure that walk we take everyday. or we could realize how better off we are without it and head to school without it from then on. we'll see.
no entries for yesterday cuz i mugged 5 straight hours and pretty much went mad. a levels is grabbing a HUGE bite of my life: biting and chewing and nibbling it slowly... savouring each and every moment that i suffer under his [or her? no. must be male one.] wretched wrath. a levels. why art thou so?
didn't get to watch down with love that i was so looking forward to. oh well. you can't get everything in life can you?
on the other hand, i got my new specs. yay! but minz ducky ducky refused to look or comment about it therefore i shall not talk to her tomorrow! humph.
hoped bruder's leg's ok. and hope his lifesaver's test went well... ???
did i say hope?
hope leads to disappointment. i always believed in that. so why did i hope so much for today? who was i fooling? i do hope. it's only when someone else besides me knows i hope will it hurt. my pride. especially if i get disappointed after that. that hurts so much. to know i hoped and it was crushed. to know SOMEONE ELSE knew i was hoping and KNEW my hopes were crushed. eaurghhhhhhhh. hate it hate it hate it. i hate hope. hope is the most disgusting feeling, thought, emotion and word that i know. screw hope and the hurt that comes with it.
dropping your shell = shedding protection = allowing yourself to get hurt = stupid move
now. here's a good night from the stupid girl who made the stupid move. stupid stupid stupid.
p.s. saw mars. sigh. wish i was a star. or a planet. anything but me. here. now.
freaky info: me n hafiz kinda argued. of sorts. not really anyone's fault- circumstances. anyway. we just decided to sleep over it. but while i was doing self- study and he was at home, he msged me a few times. normal. till this one came...
Linked
1/2:
Truffleschnup
and
Frubblescotch..
We were meant to be
together.
Truffleschnup
and frubblescotch..
We were meant
to be together..
Truffleschnup
and frubbl
Linked:
2/2
escotch.. We
were meant to
be together.
Truffleschnup
and
frubblescotch..
We were meant
to be together.
i don't know bout u but it sure as hell freaked me out. guess it was meant to be a sweet thought and would have probably been quite and aaw- material if i wasn't mugging for econs. but i was so... yeah. i replied: "are u chanting?"
he never replied. wonder if i sounded... wrong. was it wrong? no idea. it was an honest question. came to the conclusion he WAS chanting after a no- show [or no reply] for hours. decided that he was voodoo-ing me. haha. when i started talking gibberish with krist, just blamed it all on the voodoo doll effect. and of course... didn't get to absorb much econs info... voodoo doll: pins poked at my head= lose gray cells. hahaha.
i don't mean to sound so nonchalant or mean bout our disagreement... but i just want to take the lighter side of things. i mean, we had a great day till the later part... why let it spoil everything rite? so i just took it all in with a tinge of humour... if he didn't appreciate it... today isn't a day i feel like being patronising. by the way. will be going to school alone tomorrow. hey hey hey... yeah. maybe that would make us treasure that walk we take everyday. or we could realize how better off we are without it and head to school without it from then on. we'll see.
no entries for yesterday cuz i mugged 5 straight hours and pretty much went mad. a levels is grabbing a HUGE bite of my life: biting and chewing and nibbling it slowly... savouring each and every moment that i suffer under his [or her? no. must be male one.] wretched wrath. a levels. why art thou so?
didn't get to watch down with love that i was so looking forward to. oh well. you can't get everything in life can you?
on the other hand, i got my new specs. yay! but minz ducky ducky refused to look or comment about it therefore i shall not talk to her tomorrow! humph.
hoped bruder's leg's ok. and hope his lifesaver's test went well... ???
did i say hope?
hope leads to disappointment. i always believed in that. so why did i hope so much for today? who was i fooling? i do hope. it's only when someone else besides me knows i hope will it hurt. my pride. especially if i get disappointed after that. that hurts so much. to know i hoped and it was crushed. to know SOMEONE ELSE knew i was hoping and KNEW my hopes were crushed. eaurghhhhhhhh. hate it hate it hate it. i hate hope. hope is the most disgusting feeling, thought, emotion and word that i know. screw hope and the hurt that comes with it.
dropping your shell = shedding protection = allowing yourself to get hurt = stupid move
now. here's a good night from the stupid girl who made the stupid move. stupid stupid stupid.
p.s. saw mars. sigh. wish i was a star. or a planet. anything but me. here. now.
Monday, August 25, 2003
very productive johnny d- o day. hey hey hey... yay!
managed to successfully mug bout' say... 4 johnny d- o's religious poems? an achievement on my part. i hate his religious poems.
school was okay. nothing special or meaningful happen between 8- 1 p.m. after school, went ot bp plaza for lunch at sakura. oyster sauce cheeecken noodle. yumm. after lunch, bought my stationery at popular. walked back to school after that through this... very... weird route that we would never go by again. apparently, robberies occured there. if i'm not wrong, rapes too. but we shall keep that from hafiz, shall we?
did three quarts of AQP1. finallee. took this quizzes while doing it. GP is very... laborious.
walked around the track. standard finale to my night- time self- study programme. it soothes me. somehow. looking at the vast night sky. makes me realize the meniality of myself and my world.
on the way back, met up an old friend... she is going through a rought time with her guy. he's being a jerk. 1- broke up with her, claiming wanting to study, 2- told her he still loves her, wants her back one day, he still loves her, 3- has been seen by half the world AND my friend with another girl all flirty and chummy. it makes my blood boils the way this asshole is treating my friend. she deserves much better. but unfortunately, we girls take forever to realize this. all the time. its depressing. i'm not saying girls don't do this same thing, we do worse things, too. but thing is, we KNOW, we REALIZE, we're AWARE that it's WRONG. that it HURTS people. that it has CONSEQUENCES. but somehow, boys don't realize this. it irks me. like mad. grr. nothing against men, but BOYS are just... jerks when they choose to be one. argh.
oh well. hope things look up for her. i care for u woman. don't worry. better days and MEN will come. ah well. i can happily slack away the night now- reward for my johnny d- o mugging. ahhh.... muah! nites people!
Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla
You come from Dark Water. You are solitary and
find peace in yourself, or maybe you're
turmoiled but pull off peace.
Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla
"You came to this world. Alone. You live in a world. Of your own. You lead your life. Alone. You own a life. Of your own. You'll die someday. On your own."
managed to successfully mug bout' say... 4 johnny d- o's religious poems? an achievement on my part. i hate his religious poems.
school was okay. nothing special or meaningful happen between 8- 1 p.m. after school, went ot bp plaza for lunch at sakura. oyster sauce cheeecken noodle. yumm. after lunch, bought my stationery at popular. walked back to school after that through this... very... weird route that we would never go by again. apparently, robberies occured there. if i'm not wrong, rapes too. but we shall keep that from hafiz, shall we?
did three quarts of AQP1. finallee. took this quizzes while doing it. GP is very... laborious.
walked around the track. standard finale to my night- time self- study programme. it soothes me. somehow. looking at the vast night sky. makes me realize the meniality of myself and my world.
on the way back, met up an old friend... she is going through a rought time with her guy. he's being a jerk. 1- broke up with her, claiming wanting to study, 2- told her he still loves her, wants her back one day, he still loves her, 3- has been seen by half the world AND my friend with another girl all flirty and chummy. it makes my blood boils the way this asshole is treating my friend. she deserves much better. but unfortunately, we girls take forever to realize this. all the time. its depressing. i'm not saying girls don't do this same thing, we do worse things, too. but thing is, we KNOW, we REALIZE, we're AWARE that it's WRONG. that it HURTS people. that it has CONSEQUENCES. but somehow, boys don't realize this. it irks me. like mad. grr. nothing against men, but BOYS are just... jerks when they choose to be one. argh.
oh well. hope things look up for her. i care for u woman. don't worry. better days and MEN will come. ah well. i can happily slack away the night now- reward for my johnny d- o mugging. ahhh.... muah! nites people!
Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"
What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla
You come from Dark Water. You are solitary and
find peace in yourself, or maybe you're
turmoiled but pull off peace.
Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla
"You came to this world. Alone. You live in a world. Of your own. You lead your life. Alone. You own a life. Of your own. You'll die someday. On your own."
Sunday, August 24, 2003
And when Thou hast done, Thou hast not done, for I have more. that is, johnny d- o still have more. lots lots more.
tried some john donne revising today. spent a grand total of 2.5 hours on his goddamn holy sonnets. [why does that sound so blasphemous?]
but of course. the brighter point of today. met my sweetie honey- pie darlin' snookum- wookums. hahahahaha. [can you say puketacular?] correction. met hafiz, my walnut of a boyfriend.
wandered around bukit panjang plaza. went to the libe and checked out the home decor mags. the retro furniture seems to scream, buy me!
gave him a card. the shape of lips. haha. it was BLOOD RED. whoh. in remembrance of our 8th month... erm... lippy day.
after buying the juices and tau- huay for the household, he went up to deliver the goods and came down again with his bike. so i walked and he cycled... to the 6th floor of the multi- storey carpark. very breezy... nice view... relaxing moment.
cycled around and when his chain made whirring noises i tried to fix it. SUCCESSFULLY. then we ate donuts i bought from the bakery at bp plaza. yummy. peach tea washed it all down.
then we went to bp plaza again to get something for mum. cycling to the LRT station, his bike's chain got jammed. lil' miss fix- it got it moving again. well, at least we know i have a Plan B in case i flunk my a's eh? maybe a career as a female mechanic or repairman ain't that bad. *touch wood*
watched gilmore girls and what women want when i got back. then mugged more johnny d- o. he's likeable after the initial shock treatment. mum made me nestum and milo. =]
will hit the sack soon. screw mondays and the school and ties that comes with its package. had a fantabulous weekend though. that's that then. night-os!
tried some john donne revising today. spent a grand total of 2.5 hours on his goddamn holy sonnets. [why does that sound so blasphemous?]
but of course. the brighter point of today. met my sweetie honey- pie darlin' snookum- wookums. hahahahaha. [can you say puketacular?] correction. met hafiz, my walnut of a boyfriend.
wandered around bukit panjang plaza. went to the libe and checked out the home decor mags. the retro furniture seems to scream, buy me!
gave him a card. the shape of lips. haha. it was BLOOD RED. whoh. in remembrance of our 8th month... erm... lippy day.
after buying the juices and tau- huay for the household, he went up to deliver the goods and came down again with his bike. so i walked and he cycled... to the 6th floor of the multi- storey carpark. very breezy... nice view... relaxing moment.
cycled around and when his chain made whirring noises i tried to fix it. SUCCESSFULLY. then we ate donuts i bought from the bakery at bp plaza. yummy. peach tea washed it all down.
then we went to bp plaza again to get something for mum. cycling to the LRT station, his bike's chain got jammed. lil' miss fix- it got it moving again. well, at least we know i have a Plan B in case i flunk my a's eh? maybe a career as a female mechanic or repairman ain't that bad. *touch wood*
watched gilmore girls and what women want when i got back. then mugged more johnny d- o. he's likeable after the initial shock treatment. mum made me nestum and milo. =]
will hit the sack soon. screw mondays and the school and ties that comes with its package. had a fantabulous weekend though. that's that then. night-os!
i can't study... but i can shop... heh. hell YEAH i can shop.
supposed to go studying with hafiz but an hour into mugging at woodlands, i felt drowsy. blame it on the stupid medication than i'm on.
ended up going back. while i slept on the sofa, hafiz mugged away beside me in the living room. somehow, that's a nice thought.
and i'm glad i didn't totally waste his time. felt guilty for that. nyah nyah nyah.
woke at about four. i had asked him for coke before we reached my place but he had forbade me... gastric pain la, my current ailment la, what la.
he woke me up at four to give me an ice- cold glass of coke. *smiles*
he left soon. then my mum called, telling me bout' some flower pieces she had seen. i had told her yesterday i was looking for a flower to put on my hair on my birthday. i called hafiz, told him to stop wherever he was, cuz' i was joining him to take 190 to town.
met mum at tangs. on the 3rd floor, she bought a top and pants. and a guy came up to me going, "you wanna be a model?" and i'm like, "no?" apparently there's some GUESS? timepiece model search going on... international shit or something like dat. the brochure went something like...
"Apply today for an experience that will change your life. Forever."
him: try it! you've got potential!
me: er, no, it's ok. thanks anyway.
him: no, no... you should try... you look different from the others [duh?] i think you stand a good chance!
me: no i can't do the contract and long- term commitment part. i've got a levels.
him: oh ok... but it's a once- in- a- lifetime opportunity you know...
me: no REALLY, it's okay.
what the hell. want me to take my exams on location in cambridge is it? and hafiz was like, "ya la, then put me where? in your suitcase?" cute idea.
2nd floor. saw my flowers and whatnots. bought a velveteen flower to stick into my bun during Animal Farm nite.
then, i saw the beee- yooo- ti- fulllest shawl. it was dark brown and felt so comfy... like wool. turned out, it was SILK. talk about splurging!
managed to convince mum that we would be sharing it and yada yada yada and that it would be worth every cent of the $39. got both flower and shawl. yippee!
1st floor. wandered around the shoe and handbags section. mum got a straw- knit bag that was a steal at $9. and while she was queueing up to pay for it i noticed the cutest handbag. semi- circle shaped, with retro striped in the candiest colours of brown. it totally goes with my dress.
we were giggling like mad at the counter cuz we realized we had overshot her Tangs card. talk about shopping till ya drop.
and you would think we ended there. nope...
headed to scotts. then far east. to "window- shop".
at far east's LevelOne, saw my dream skirt. this box- pleat skirt i've been eyeing for months. tried three different skirts. got one.
at far east's 3rd floor, mum saw the funkiest pink shoes. got that, too.
we quickly rushed to magic wok for dinner. and walked quickly to the bus- stop after that. to prevent ourselves from buying anything else.
got home. tried my birthday outfit. for the first time in my life, i feel truly, truly like a girl. all flower and heels.
talked to hafiz on the phone while i was still in the outfit. he said i sounded so excited. haha. i was...
gonna be mugging tomorrow cuz i didn't today. will bite the bait before guilt seeps in. till then... i'm happily floating around feeling girly and flowery...
p.s. doris. i guess it's not that bad a thing. embarrassed in a... erm... good way. hehe.
supposed to go studying with hafiz but an hour into mugging at woodlands, i felt drowsy. blame it on the stupid medication than i'm on.
ended up going back. while i slept on the sofa, hafiz mugged away beside me in the living room. somehow, that's a nice thought.
and i'm glad i didn't totally waste his time. felt guilty for that. nyah nyah nyah.
woke at about four. i had asked him for coke before we reached my place but he had forbade me... gastric pain la, my current ailment la, what la.
he woke me up at four to give me an ice- cold glass of coke. *smiles*
he left soon. then my mum called, telling me bout' some flower pieces she had seen. i had told her yesterday i was looking for a flower to put on my hair on my birthday. i called hafiz, told him to stop wherever he was, cuz' i was joining him to take 190 to town.
met mum at tangs. on the 3rd floor, she bought a top and pants. and a guy came up to me going, "you wanna be a model?" and i'm like, "no?" apparently there's some GUESS? timepiece model search going on... international shit or something like dat. the brochure went something like...
"Apply today for an experience that will change your life. Forever."
him: try it! you've got potential!
me: er, no, it's ok. thanks anyway.
him: no, no... you should try... you look different from the others [duh?] i think you stand a good chance!
me: no i can't do the contract and long- term commitment part. i've got a levels.
him: oh ok... but it's a once- in- a- lifetime opportunity you know...
me: no REALLY, it's okay.
what the hell. want me to take my exams on location in cambridge is it? and hafiz was like, "ya la, then put me where? in your suitcase?" cute idea.
2nd floor. saw my flowers and whatnots. bought a velveteen flower to stick into my bun during Animal Farm nite.
then, i saw the beee- yooo- ti- fulllest shawl. it was dark brown and felt so comfy... like wool. turned out, it was SILK. talk about splurging!
managed to convince mum that we would be sharing it and yada yada yada and that it would be worth every cent of the $39. got both flower and shawl. yippee!
1st floor. wandered around the shoe and handbags section. mum got a straw- knit bag that was a steal at $9. and while she was queueing up to pay for it i noticed the cutest handbag. semi- circle shaped, with retro striped in the candiest colours of brown. it totally goes with my dress.
we were giggling like mad at the counter cuz we realized we had overshot her Tangs card. talk about shopping till ya drop.
and you would think we ended there. nope...
headed to scotts. then far east. to "window- shop".
at far east's LevelOne, saw my dream skirt. this box- pleat skirt i've been eyeing for months. tried three different skirts. got one.
at far east's 3rd floor, mum saw the funkiest pink shoes. got that, too.
we quickly rushed to magic wok for dinner. and walked quickly to the bus- stop after that. to prevent ourselves from buying anything else.
got home. tried my birthday outfit. for the first time in my life, i feel truly, truly like a girl. all flower and heels.
talked to hafiz on the phone while i was still in the outfit. he said i sounded so excited. haha. i was...
gonna be mugging tomorrow cuz i didn't today. will bite the bait before guilt seeps in. till then... i'm happily floating around feeling girly and flowery...
p.s. doris. i guess it's not that bad a thing. embarrassed in a... erm... good way. hehe.
Friday, August 22, 2003
went shopping and early- dinner with mum & hafiz. had fun. too happy and high to speak. got new shoes. got to eat lotsa chocolate. got a kiss. whee!
Lion King!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
lotsa quizzies for today... hehe. whee!
i bought shoes i bought shoes i bought shoes and i am so very high now!!!!
Lion King!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
lotsa quizzies for today... hehe. whee!
i bought shoes i bought shoes i bought shoes and i am so very high now!!!!
tummy tummy tummy tummy ache tummy ache!
finally woke up. *groan* why is the sun so freaking brighter when you're sick and dying?
anyways. i woke up for school as usual today... only to find myself slumped on the toilet floor clutching my stupid stomach.
made my way to my mum's room to tell her i'm sick.
then crawled the eternity away back to my room.
went back to sleep... not before i msged hafiz to tell him the news. he replied me in a flurry of questions. the ideal GP student.
who? what? where? why? how? he worries too much sometimes.
will meet him later at lunch. i miss him already. as it is yesterday was quite a short day for us cuz half the day was spent in the sick bay, on my part.
doris! it's very embarassing hor. don't say... *cringes* so paiseh you know... the father everytime send me. then his family coming to my cousin's wedding next next week some more. so paiseh leh...
thanks to all who were concerned bout my frigging mens cramps. its as horrible as ever. but it'll be ok. thanks for caring... =]
plan for today:
- go visit doc
- meet hafiz
- shopping with mum?? -her idea, don't ask me why hor-
- study history? -so lazy to do so...-
- just be the lazy sick girl that i am... muahahaha.
maybe i'll update tonights... either way... have a good friday friends!
finally woke up. *groan* why is the sun so freaking brighter when you're sick and dying?
anyways. i woke up for school as usual today... only to find myself slumped on the toilet floor clutching my stupid stomach.
made my way to my mum's room to tell her i'm sick.
then crawled the eternity away back to my room.
went back to sleep... not before i msged hafiz to tell him the news. he replied me in a flurry of questions. the ideal GP student.
who? what? where? why? how? he worries too much sometimes.
will meet him later at lunch. i miss him already. as it is yesterday was quite a short day for us cuz half the day was spent in the sick bay, on my part.
doris! it's very embarassing hor. don't say... *cringes* so paiseh you know... the father everytime send me. then his family coming to my cousin's wedding next next week some more. so paiseh leh...
thanks to all who were concerned bout my frigging mens cramps. its as horrible as ever. but it'll be ok. thanks for caring... =]
plan for today:
- go visit doc
- meet hafiz
- shopping with mum?? -her idea, don't ask me why hor-
- study history? -so lazy to do so...-
- just be the lazy sick girl that i am... muahahaha.
maybe i'll update tonights... either way... have a good friday friends!
Thursday, August 21, 2003
And on the eighth day, He made Georges. And he saw it was good.
watched the most beautiful french art film during GP today... it was... so moving.
makes me feel so... special. and a need to smile sincerely and laugh my life away.
morning had me cringing in pain due to the monthly sorrow all women bear.
was in the sick bay for hours.
ended up going only for one lesson- GP.
i think i made a wise choice.
spent 5- 9 p.m. mugging for John Donne Test tomorrow.
had a teeny break at 7 p.m. to go for [not- so] Famous Prata at Teck Whye Lane. burp.
hafiz's dad sent me home tonight. this is getting embarrassing. and i even replied his msg for hafiz just now cuz hafiz was too busy grabbing the free foodies and drinks. and that stupid boy said, "good la, you should talk more to your future father- in- law." ARGH!!! and his mum said that he should send me home cuz it's not safe for young lady to go home alone so late at night. more and more embarrassing...
my right thumb hurt. my left calf hurt. i have horrid cramps.
but today still seems to have been a fabulous day...
watched the most beautiful french art film during GP today... it was... so moving.
makes me feel so... special. and a need to smile sincerely and laugh my life away.
morning had me cringing in pain due to the monthly sorrow all women bear.
was in the sick bay for hours.
ended up going only for one lesson- GP.
i think i made a wise choice.
spent 5- 9 p.m. mugging for John Donne Test tomorrow.
had a teeny break at 7 p.m. to go for [not- so] Famous Prata at Teck Whye Lane. burp.
hafiz's dad sent me home tonight. this is getting embarrassing. and i even replied his msg for hafiz just now cuz hafiz was too busy grabbing the free foodies and drinks. and that stupid boy said, "good la, you should talk more to your future father- in- law." ARGH!!! and his mum said that he should send me home cuz it's not safe for young lady to go home alone so late at night. more and more embarrassing...
my right thumb hurt. my left calf hurt. i have horrid cramps.
but today still seems to have been a fabulous day...
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
I climbed a rock- wall today. hey hey hey.
very proud of my friends… fahrur- the belayer who kept me safe. sheena- my oh- so- supportive and chirpy spotter in tight cargos. and kristy for climbing despite great fears. good one babes. and of course. hafiz. for climbing so well and doing all those pull- ups. *blush, blush*
lost my econs TYS. no so upset as it was free anyway. haha.
went to esplanade library and finally borrowed the books by thalia mara. ballet shtuf.
had a nice time reading a picture- book- ish book on famous ballets to hafiz. he now realizes how difficult it is.
headed to magic wok after that for our long- awaited phat thai noodles. yummy. feel so satisfied now.
bryan- read my previous entry properly… it’s a poem by MoonWillow, not me!
didn't study today... too tired. will mug on tomorrow onwards...
recess was fun, with hafiz, bryan, fahrur, daniel, kristy, sheena n the occasional noora who all sang along while barry woolhead played his guitar. humm dee da dee da. i think we donated lots of $$$ for that too. ah well. it's for good cause.
knew today would be a great day. gut feeling turned out right. yay!
very proud of my friends… fahrur- the belayer who kept me safe. sheena- my oh- so- supportive and chirpy spotter in tight cargos. and kristy for climbing despite great fears. good one babes. and of course. hafiz. for climbing so well and doing all those pull- ups. *blush, blush*
lost my econs TYS. no so upset as it was free anyway. haha.
went to esplanade library and finally borrowed the books by thalia mara. ballet shtuf.
had a nice time reading a picture- book- ish book on famous ballets to hafiz. he now realizes how difficult it is.
headed to magic wok after that for our long- awaited phat thai noodles. yummy. feel so satisfied now.
bryan- read my previous entry properly… it’s a poem by MoonWillow, not me!
didn't study today... too tired. will mug on tomorrow onwards...
recess was fun, with hafiz, bryan, fahrur, daniel, kristy, sheena n the occasional noora who all sang along while barry woolhead played his guitar. humm dee da dee da. i think we donated lots of $$$ for that too. ah well. it's for good cause.
knew today would be a great day. gut feeling turned out right. yay!
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
i danced today.
Grrrrrrrrr!
by MoonWillow
Damn her!
How could she do that to me?
After all of that trouble I went through
Of being her friend.
I just don't know what happened.
That bitch just had to piss me off today didn't she?
Why does she always do that?
I didn't do anything to her.
Why doesn't she just back off?
I hate her so much!
I shouldn't say that but it's true.
She needs to learn some moral values in my opinion.
No wonder noone likes her.
She's always pushing
Always shoving.
Someone needs to shove her on her ass!
I wish it could be me,
But I have morals to go by.
She must be taught a lesson.
a somewhat funny bitchy poem i found from a webbie. hehe. it sounds so... conversational.
today was funny. period. despite certain bad times, my life is somehow... making me smile.
maybe it's trying to prove me wrong. [check earliest entry for 18th august.]
and maybe god is giving me a second chance. thank you, god.
Grrrrrrrrr!
by MoonWillow
Damn her!
How could she do that to me?
After all of that trouble I went through
Of being her friend.
I just don't know what happened.
That bitch just had to piss me off today didn't she?
Why does she always do that?
I didn't do anything to her.
Why doesn't she just back off?
I hate her so much!
I shouldn't say that but it's true.
She needs to learn some moral values in my opinion.
No wonder noone likes her.
She's always pushing
Always shoving.
Someone needs to shove her on her ass!
I wish it could be me,
But I have morals to go by.
She must be taught a lesson.
a somewhat funny bitchy poem i found from a webbie. hehe. it sounds so... conversational.
today was funny. period. despite certain bad times, my life is somehow... making me smile.
maybe it's trying to prove me wrong. [check earliest entry for 18th august.]
and maybe god is giving me a second chance. thank you, god.
Monday, August 18, 2003
awaken.
You are the Develope!!!
What type of ballet move are you? with pics
brought to you by Quizilla
i want. no. scrape that. i need to dance again.
You are the Develope!!!
What type of ballet move are you? with pics
brought to you by Quizilla
i want. no. scrape that. i need to dance again.
somehow this gives me a sense of contentment...
You're Patrick! You're a little slow sometimes but
still very cool! You like to jellyfish with
SpongeBob and eat!
**Which SpongeBob Character Are You?**
brought to you by Quizilla
plus these...
1. lying down on the track and gaze at the night sky.
2. sleep on the canteen table. -power naps-
3. walk around the track then sit down at the area near the edge of the school compound. -at the EDGE: isolation-
4. cut across the field. nice dewy wet grass.
5. flick away flies n other insects which flies onto my notes.
as you would have guessed, did all these and more during today's study session... so it's tried & tested. smiles.
You're Patrick! You're a little slow sometimes but
still very cool! You like to jellyfish with
SpongeBob and eat!
**Which SpongeBob Character Are You?**
brought to you by Quizilla
plus these...
1. lying down on the track and gaze at the night sky.
2. sleep on the canteen table. -power naps-
3. walk around the track then sit down at the area near the edge of the school compound. -at the EDGE: isolation-
4. cut across the field. nice dewy wet grass.
5. flick away flies n other insects which flies onto my notes.
as you would have guessed, did all these and more during today's study session... so it's tried & tested. smiles.
The I Quiz
I am: norfiza
I am not: someone else
I hurt: without knowing it myself
I hate: feeling hurt
I fear: death
I hope: for the best
I believe: in Allah n Islam
I hear: things people don't want to hear
I regret: things i don't dare to admit to myself
I cry: more recently
I care: for the people i love
I laugh: too much. previously
I always: smile too big
I feel alone: never. but i'm always alone. on my own. but not lonely.
I fell: in love and never got out of it
I listen: to kids' laughter and the sincerity of it cuts me
I hide: under my blanket
I drive: nothing. yet.
I sing: at the top of my lungs to feel better
I dance: ballet. much to many people's surprise.
I write: poetry that only i understand
I play: with my own thoughts
I miss: so many different things that i don't know where to start
I search: for happier and truer life
I feel: like i'm drowning in myself
I know: that better days would come
I fail: to convince myself
I long: to be happy forever
I dream: to have good a level results
I wonder: if my dad is watching over me while i suffer as i do now
I succeed: in ignoring bitches who bitch about me
I want: to have my happy life
I have: a great mum, a loving boyfriend, funny n caring relative, n 6- yr friendships with most of my true friends.
I give: my best to those who deserve it
I fight: inner battles
I need: to get away from this shit.
read some sad things. how some guy said he rode a bus beside a cleaner. n how she stank up the whole bus. that she smelt like possum's blood and stale food left out in the sun for days. and how, a girl replied that there's a girl in our school, who stinks, too. just standing near her can make you faint, she claims. this from a girl who has bad breath.
people. is it just me or has the world become more evil, disgusting and just plain horrible? all around i see hatred, hypocrisy, lies, rudeness. why? i don't meant to whine but shouldn't there be at least SOME hope and love in this world? some appreciation to cleaners? some awareness? some humanity? this is getting ridiculous.
went to westmall with my mum. left home at 8 p.m. was done at 8.40 p.m. seriously. wandered around and that was it. i was too moodless. too wearied. after two days of mugging at home, you would think i would savour these moments outdoors. but i couldn't. didn't. i even teared up at some point of time. mum didn't notice but she knew i was feeling down n out. went for supper. that cheered me up a little. but still.
all i see now is hatred, isolation, loud- mouthed rudeness, crudity, evil cruelty, obnoxious people. is it just me? or is this really what the world is about? granted, i have hafiz who tries to make me smile. and laugh. he's probably all i have to live for now, besides my mum. but he can find a better partner. especially with the way we've been going, he probably would find a girl who'll make him smile instead of the other way round.
if life is making me so sad... is it worth living at all?
i think not.
I am: norfiza
I am not: someone else
I hurt: without knowing it myself
I hate: feeling hurt
I fear: death
I hope: for the best
I believe: in Allah n Islam
I hear: things people don't want to hear
I regret: things i don't dare to admit to myself
I cry: more recently
I care: for the people i love
I laugh: too much. previously
I always: smile too big
I feel alone: never. but i'm always alone. on my own. but not lonely.
I fell: in love and never got out of it
I listen: to kids' laughter and the sincerity of it cuts me
I hide: under my blanket
I drive: nothing. yet.
I sing: at the top of my lungs to feel better
I dance: ballet. much to many people's surprise.
I write: poetry that only i understand
I play: with my own thoughts
I miss: so many different things that i don't know where to start
I search: for happier and truer life
I feel: like i'm drowning in myself
I know: that better days would come
I fail: to convince myself
I long: to be happy forever
I dream: to have good a level results
I wonder: if my dad is watching over me while i suffer as i do now
I succeed: in ignoring bitches who bitch about me
I want: to have my happy life
I have: a great mum, a loving boyfriend, funny n caring relative, n 6- yr friendships with most of my true friends.
I give: my best to those who deserve it
I fight: inner battles
I need: to get away from this shit.
read some sad things. how some guy said he rode a bus beside a cleaner. n how she stank up the whole bus. that she smelt like possum's blood and stale food left out in the sun for days. and how, a girl replied that there's a girl in our school, who stinks, too. just standing near her can make you faint, she claims. this from a girl who has bad breath.
people. is it just me or has the world become more evil, disgusting and just plain horrible? all around i see hatred, hypocrisy, lies, rudeness. why? i don't meant to whine but shouldn't there be at least SOME hope and love in this world? some appreciation to cleaners? some awareness? some humanity? this is getting ridiculous.
went to westmall with my mum. left home at 8 p.m. was done at 8.40 p.m. seriously. wandered around and that was it. i was too moodless. too wearied. after two days of mugging at home, you would think i would savour these moments outdoors. but i couldn't. didn't. i even teared up at some point of time. mum didn't notice but she knew i was feeling down n out. went for supper. that cheered me up a little. but still.
all i see now is hatred, isolation, loud- mouthed rudeness, crudity, evil cruelty, obnoxious people. is it just me? or is this really what the world is about? granted, i have hafiz who tries to make me smile. and laugh. he's probably all i have to live for now, besides my mum. but he can find a better partner. especially with the way we've been going, he probably would find a girl who'll make him smile instead of the other way round.
if life is making me so sad... is it worth living at all?
i think not.
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Cold White Lies & Red Hot Scandals.All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than others.Mardi Gras.Will the rainbow colours represent segregation and prejudice?
la- di- da- di- da. just had hours of mugging. feels surprisingly goooood. erk.
maybe all that studying has gotten to me afterall.
my brain cells are now influenced by a higher power that has a penchant for wasting away weekends poring over books and notes. especially those on boring- as- hell topics like HISTORY...
but. i believe in what dennis said. [at least that's what i keep telling myself.]
"play now, pay later. pay now, play later."
*chants* paying. paying. paying. paying. paying. paying.
turned out there's no gilmore girls today? WHY?!! now i can't even have my one hour of guilt pleasure on sundays. BLEARGH.
oh ya. i 've GOT to get a new office chair for my study table. the current one has gone walnuts, and has things poking up my butt as i tried fervently to jot down notes on league of nations. how more unfair can the world be?
still trying to psycho my mum to get me new glasses. since the brutal game of captain's ball for PE, i never saw the world in the same way again.
before i forget. my nutcase of a boyfriend, hafiz, has finally updated his blogspot. BUT. do not expect much personal details n updates. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
tomorrow will be another day at school... mondays. wear tie day. worse, there's 5 periods with koh the oh- so- inspiring CT.
heard green day's time of your life on the radio just now. 1. made me feel old. 2. made me miss my secondary school friends. 3. made me realize how precious teenhood is. 4. made me realize how RIGHT NOW, is not THE time of my life. well i hope not. r'else it'll just be a horrible sign of things to come.
i miss people. normal, nice, loving, caring people. people who are friends. people who... people who are humane.
la- di- da- di- da. just had hours of mugging. feels surprisingly goooood. erk.
maybe all that studying has gotten to me afterall.
my brain cells are now influenced by a higher power that has a penchant for wasting away weekends poring over books and notes. especially those on boring- as- hell topics like HISTORY...
but. i believe in what dennis said. [at least that's what i keep telling myself.]
"play now, pay later. pay now, play later."
*chants* paying. paying. paying. paying. paying. paying.
turned out there's no gilmore girls today? WHY?!! now i can't even have my one hour of guilt pleasure on sundays. BLEARGH.
oh ya. i 've GOT to get a new office chair for my study table. the current one has gone walnuts, and has things poking up my butt as i tried fervently to jot down notes on league of nations. how more unfair can the world be?
still trying to psycho my mum to get me new glasses. since the brutal game of captain's ball for PE, i never saw the world in the same way again.
before i forget. my nutcase of a boyfriend, hafiz, has finally updated his blogspot. BUT. do not expect much personal details n updates. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
tomorrow will be another day at school... mondays. wear tie day. worse, there's 5 periods with koh the oh- so- inspiring CT.
heard green day's time of your life on the radio just now. 1. made me feel old. 2. made me miss my secondary school friends. 3. made me realize how precious teenhood is. 4. made me realize how RIGHT NOW, is not THE time of my life. well i hope not. r'else it'll just be a horrible sign of things to come.
i miss people. normal, nice, loving, caring people. people who are friends. people who... people who are humane.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
Pink Triangle
Weezer
(Pinkerton)
When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet in floral prints
My mind begins the arrangements
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old-fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
If everyone's a little queer
Can't she be a little straight?
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
i find this song... funny... and sorta relevant... just reverse the male singer to a female me, and his turn- out- to- be- lesbian girl to be my... ya know. *wink*
Weezer
(Pinkerton)
When I'm stable long enough
I start to look around for love
See a sweet in floral prints
My mind begins the arrangements
But when I start to feel that pull
Turns out I just pulled myself
She would never go with me
Were I the last girl on earth
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Might have smoked a few in my time
But never thought it was a crime
Knew the day would surely come
When I'd chill and settle down
When I think I've found a good old-fashioned girl
Then she put me in my place
If everyone's a little queer
Can't she be a little straight?
I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth
i find this song... funny... and sorta relevant... just reverse the male singer to a female me, and his turn- out- to- be- lesbian girl to be my... ya know. *wink*
Friday, August 15, 2003
from the deepest crevices of my heart...
apologies all around. to everyone who have felt so much stress watching me and hafiz blow hot n cold so frequently.
especially fahrur & bryan.
and thanks kristy for your great help of late. and of course. for caring. =]
it was weird. lunch. one minute we were laughing, the very next minute we were arguing.
i'm not kidding. that was exactly what happened.
it gets scary. i just felt like screaming just now.
and the minute school's over, not even out of school, but the minute its the end of our 'school- day', we'll be fine.
even if we stayback for hours after school to study.
had a lovely dinner with him just now.
waaaaaaaay weird.
but happy thoughts.
I'VE BOUGHT MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
yeah. as weird [and pathetic] as it sounds, yeap. that's exactly what i did.
bought Animal Farm tickets for me & hafiz. he'll pay for his share, of course.
will be watching it on the 5th. my birthday itself. excuse me for gushing but i just feel euphoric thinking of it.
la- la- la. been waiting for this day since eternity and... now it seems so real and nearer.
*hums contentedly*
i even have a dress i bought specially for the night, that's how fanatic i am bout' my 18th birthday.
more because i have hafiz to celebrate it with, than anything else.
last year's birthday was horrid.
i was depressed. i was attached to an airhead of a guy, and my mum was hospitalised the very next day. the 6th.
yeeep. NOT a good birthday.
worse: i was still HOPING and WAITING for IMRAN, the stupid GAY idiot that god- knows- why was so special to me.
ah well.
2003.
a new year. a new life. i feel like i have taken a breath of fresh air. clearer air, clearer view.
i see people better. i no longer try to befriend everyone.
i realize what's important and what's not. who's opinion mattered, whose did not.
i know my true friends. i know the backstabbers. i've been shocked. traumatised.
i cried more this year than i ever cried in my past 17 years.
i am more emotional now.
i love more, feel more. i try to show i care more.
i am truer to myself than i was last year.
i ignore the unimportant people and savour the small, minute moments i get to enjoy with the lesser in amount but more meaningful people in my life.
each year for my birthday... i had felt complete. and whole. but since the day imran left me right up to late november, i felt so hollowed.
for the first time on my birthday, i didn't get what i want. him.
as corny as it sounds.
which is why this year's birthday is important.
i have what i want. i have everything. i feel complete. i feel whole.
i don't care how many birthday presents and birthday wishes i get for my birthday this year.
there's only one kind of gift i hope for:
sincere birthday wishes.
that, would make my birthday ab- so- luuuu- te- lyyyy puuuurrrr.....fect.
apologies all around. to everyone who have felt so much stress watching me and hafiz blow hot n cold so frequently.
especially fahrur & bryan.
and thanks kristy for your great help of late. and of course. for caring. =]
it was weird. lunch. one minute we were laughing, the very next minute we were arguing.
i'm not kidding. that was exactly what happened.
it gets scary. i just felt like screaming just now.
and the minute school's over, not even out of school, but the minute its the end of our 'school- day', we'll be fine.
even if we stayback for hours after school to study.
had a lovely dinner with him just now.
waaaaaaaay weird.
but happy thoughts.
I'VE BOUGHT MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
yeah. as weird [and pathetic] as it sounds, yeap. that's exactly what i did.
bought Animal Farm tickets for me & hafiz. he'll pay for his share, of course.
will be watching it on the 5th. my birthday itself. excuse me for gushing but i just feel euphoric thinking of it.
la- la- la. been waiting for this day since eternity and... now it seems so real and nearer.
*hums contentedly*
i even have a dress i bought specially for the night, that's how fanatic i am bout' my 18th birthday.
more because i have hafiz to celebrate it with, than anything else.
last year's birthday was horrid.
i was depressed. i was attached to an airhead of a guy, and my mum was hospitalised the very next day. the 6th.
yeeep. NOT a good birthday.
worse: i was still HOPING and WAITING for IMRAN, the stupid GAY idiot that god- knows- why was so special to me.
ah well.
2003.
a new year. a new life. i feel like i have taken a breath of fresh air. clearer air, clearer view.
i see people better. i no longer try to befriend everyone.
i realize what's important and what's not. who's opinion mattered, whose did not.
i know my true friends. i know the backstabbers. i've been shocked. traumatised.
i cried more this year than i ever cried in my past 17 years.
i am more emotional now.
i love more, feel more. i try to show i care more.
i am truer to myself than i was last year.
i ignore the unimportant people and savour the small, minute moments i get to enjoy with the lesser in amount but more meaningful people in my life.
each year for my birthday... i had felt complete. and whole. but since the day imran left me right up to late november, i felt so hollowed.
for the first time on my birthday, i didn't get what i want. him.
as corny as it sounds.
which is why this year's birthday is important.
i have what i want. i have everything. i feel complete. i feel whole.
i don't care how many birthday presents and birthday wishes i get for my birthday this year.
there's only one kind of gift i hope for:
sincere birthday wishes.
that, would make my birthday ab- so- luuuu- te- lyyyy puuuurrrr.....fect.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
it's just another day in school...
mugged history till 9 in school today.
no more studying for me tonight!
so stressful. but it's good stress. [that's something i learnt from morning assembly.]
me and hafiz are doing well... slowly but surely?
thank you to all supportive friends. sometimes i feel like me & hafiz are a class project... heh.
special mention to danilo, the brazilian who stumbled upon my blogspot.
thanks for the kind words and support. i may barely know you but i think you're a very kind soul.
speaking of which, i found my ANGEL!
[drumrolls]
recap: last week, when me and hafiz fought, i took refuge in the toilet and cried [out loud].
then this girl came knocking on my cubicle door, saying, "are you ok? did someone bully you? are you ok?"
i managed to murmur a pathetic yes, and this angelic girl slipped tissue under the door.
her kindness and sweet nature was overwhelming. at a time when my "friends" had turned out to be something else, it was heartening to know i could count on a stranger to make me smile, or at least wipe my tears.
today, i saw her. got bryan, kristy, limin, hafiz, doris and even saiful involved.
i was so excited to see her. my angel.
turned out she's denise from arts society. a junior, but with no less a heart.
more, in fact, than some, if you ask me.
i'll be making a card for her. it does not matter if she knows me, i just want her to know i appreciated her kindness.
i have yet to know a more sincere and caring soul. she even offered to chase away hafiz. now THAT is what i call caring.
ok. getting a bit long already. point form updates:
* bryan- take care of leg! go doctor! don't be stubborn!
* huimin- think of horrible things to do for kristy! she lost the bet, she must pay!
* kristy- sorry. =p
* izal- sorry i haven't called u up lately. i've been busy with school and by the time i get back i'm too tired for a chat. weekends maybe?
guess that's about it. more insightful and profound thoughts coming up someday... stay tuned. for rants and raves. ahakz.
mugged history till 9 in school today.
no more studying for me tonight!
so stressful. but it's good stress. [that's something i learnt from morning assembly.]
me and hafiz are doing well... slowly but surely?
thank you to all supportive friends. sometimes i feel like me & hafiz are a class project... heh.
special mention to danilo, the brazilian who stumbled upon my blogspot.
thanks for the kind words and support. i may barely know you but i think you're a very kind soul.
speaking of which, i found my ANGEL!
[drumrolls]
recap: last week, when me and hafiz fought, i took refuge in the toilet and cried [out loud].
then this girl came knocking on my cubicle door, saying, "are you ok? did someone bully you? are you ok?"
i managed to murmur a pathetic yes, and this angelic girl slipped tissue under the door.
her kindness and sweet nature was overwhelming. at a time when my "friends" had turned out to be something else, it was heartening to know i could count on a stranger to make me smile, or at least wipe my tears.
today, i saw her. got bryan, kristy, limin, hafiz, doris and even saiful involved.
i was so excited to see her. my angel.
turned out she's denise from arts society. a junior, but with no less a heart.
more, in fact, than some, if you ask me.
i'll be making a card for her. it does not matter if she knows me, i just want her to know i appreciated her kindness.
i have yet to know a more sincere and caring soul. she even offered to chase away hafiz. now THAT is what i call caring.
ok. getting a bit long already. point form updates:
* bryan- take care of leg! go doctor! don't be stubborn!
* huimin- think of horrible things to do for kristy! she lost the bet, she must pay!
* kristy- sorry. =p
* izal- sorry i haven't called u up lately. i've been busy with school and by the time i get back i'm too tired for a chat. weekends maybe?
guess that's about it. more insightful and profound thoughts coming up someday... stay tuned. for rants and raves. ahakz.
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
let's hope this calm after the storm lasts.
"...... and maybe that's what love is about. about not giving up on each other no matter what. to always try, always be together. maybe that's eternal love....."
i hope. no. i know.
that we will get through this.
its just the pressure and school and the people.
without those we'll be fine.
few more months hafiz. few more months.
then the world would only be what we want it to be and have.
no bitches, no hypocrites, no one we don't want and need.
till then we have to keep trying and focussing on what's important.
and screw the rest.
i love you.
"...... and maybe that's what love is about. about not giving up on each other no matter what. to always try, always be together. maybe that's eternal love....."
i hope. no. i know.
that we will get through this.
its just the pressure and school and the people.
without those we'll be fine.
few more months hafiz. few more months.
then the world would only be what we want it to be and have.
no bitches, no hypocrites, no one we don't want and need.
till then we have to keep trying and focussing on what's important.
and screw the rest.
i love you.
it's too frequent. too much. too soon.
too bad.
too bad.
holding on too tightly to a rapidly fraying rope.
i keep hoping. and trying.
hope. try. hope. try. hope. try.
it's a vicious cycle.
we fight, we make up.
fight. make up. fight. make up.
i am getting SICK of it. VERY VERY.
things have got to change.
the old formulae isn't working anymore.
why can't you understand that?
more importantly... why can't you understand me?
i keep hoping. and trying.
hope. try. hope. try. hope. try.
it's a vicious cycle.
we fight, we make up.
fight. make up. fight. make up.
i am getting SICK of it. VERY VERY.
things have got to change.
the old formulae isn't working anymore.
why can't you understand that?
more importantly... why can't you understand me?
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
la la la la la...
oh where oh where can my, baaaaby beeee...
no entry yesterday cuz i fell asleep the minute i stepped home. blame my sinus. bleargh. watery eyes, watery nose, chills running through my chest.
freezing hell.
as for today... studied in school till 8. waaaah....
but it wasn't bad at all la. quite fun. maybe cuz it rained... so it was cooling and not as warm as thursday...
at about 7-ish... me, hafiz, bryan n fahrur decided to talk a walk around the track. [?] haha.
but it was fun. la la la. each time there was a lightning through the sky, three of us screamed. fahrur was this superhero- not- scared- of anything. unlike the rest of us. heh.
sang pearl jam's last kiss. a bit noisy arh. but who cares?! hehe.
it released the stress of my cramming of econs tidbits a little. think should make it a ritual. what say you, bruder?
teachers in pioneer have been trying harder lately to motivate us and stop us from furher demoralisation... thank you. really big thank you.
save for ONE sole teacher, who happens to be our CT as well, who chooses to rub it into our face how all of us won't make it... yada yada yada.
thanks alot, yea, you're fucking motivating. brilliant. some people in the class actually wanted those freaking UK studies brochure, kays. what would you know, dumbass. you can't design our fate. you're not god dammit. all other teachers are showing how grades improve from Fs to As. and YOU are bloody telling us how we won't make it. so much for listening to the principal. he happens to be telling us to not be demoralised. well you sure ain't helping, fucker.
anyway. ignore the ranting a bit. he just annoys me with his "only some of you can make it" crap.
was watching singapore's brainiest kids. observations:
* singapore kids know nuts bout' movies, ancient lit, and asia.
* gushes like a water pipe when asked bout' USA and international affairs.
* flusters like hell and passes questions at the speed of a bullet train when nervous and facing strong competition.
* they are pressured.
* their parents are either loving and compassionate.
* or just plain jerks. e.g. Ernest Yong's parents. no offence to anyone who possibly know em', but when cheryl fox told the audience to give a round of applause to him even though he wasn't top 2 [but was THIRD], his mum smiled WEARILY and his dad just liked, made contact with his two palms.
damn.
MY palms felt like making contact with HIS face. such a meanie. good lord the kid is SMART enough to be on the show, isn't it enough?
then again in singapore, nothing is ever enough, is there?
what would it take to open the eyes of the society? the government?
more suicides?
whenever a kid dies, you read it in the papers. the papers mention how. why. when. what. stress, pressure, academic failures...
but nothing is done about it. it frustrates me to see nothing being done. i see many of my friends and outsiders losing it. feeling the pressure.
no matter how i try, i know there will be others who don't have support.
future generation might feel even more pressure than kids do now.
what then?
i hope things change soon. not necessarily for me, but at least for the future generation. for my kids. grandkids. let's have a happy generation Z, shall we?
SPECIAL NOTE: To Izal Mexes. Happy 19th Birthday! Do not worry about achieving wonders and making a difference. You have already made a difference to someone. Me.
oh where oh where can my, baaaaby beeee...
no entry yesterday cuz i fell asleep the minute i stepped home. blame my sinus. bleargh. watery eyes, watery nose, chills running through my chest.
freezing hell.
as for today... studied in school till 8. waaaah....
but it wasn't bad at all la. quite fun. maybe cuz it rained... so it was cooling and not as warm as thursday...
at about 7-ish... me, hafiz, bryan n fahrur decided to talk a walk around the track. [?] haha.
but it was fun. la la la. each time there was a lightning through the sky, three of us screamed. fahrur was this superhero- not- scared- of anything. unlike the rest of us. heh.
sang pearl jam's last kiss. a bit noisy arh. but who cares?! hehe.
it released the stress of my cramming of econs tidbits a little. think should make it a ritual. what say you, bruder?
teachers in pioneer have been trying harder lately to motivate us and stop us from furher demoralisation... thank you. really big thank you.
save for ONE sole teacher, who happens to be our CT as well, who chooses to rub it into our face how all of us won't make it... yada yada yada.
thanks alot, yea, you're fucking motivating. brilliant. some people in the class actually wanted those freaking UK studies brochure, kays. what would you know, dumbass. you can't design our fate. you're not god dammit. all other teachers are showing how grades improve from Fs to As. and YOU are bloody telling us how we won't make it. so much for listening to the principal. he happens to be telling us to not be demoralised. well you sure ain't helping, fucker.
anyway. ignore the ranting a bit. he just annoys me with his "only some of you can make it" crap.
was watching singapore's brainiest kids. observations:
* singapore kids know nuts bout' movies, ancient lit, and asia.
* gushes like a water pipe when asked bout' USA and international affairs.
* flusters like hell and passes questions at the speed of a bullet train when nervous and facing strong competition.
* they are pressured.
* their parents are either loving and compassionate.
* or just plain jerks. e.g. Ernest Yong's parents. no offence to anyone who possibly know em', but when cheryl fox told the audience to give a round of applause to him even though he wasn't top 2 [but was THIRD], his mum smiled WEARILY and his dad just liked, made contact with his two palms.
damn.
MY palms felt like making contact with HIS face. such a meanie. good lord the kid is SMART enough to be on the show, isn't it enough?
then again in singapore, nothing is ever enough, is there?
what would it take to open the eyes of the society? the government?
more suicides?
whenever a kid dies, you read it in the papers. the papers mention how. why. when. what. stress, pressure, academic failures...
but nothing is done about it. it frustrates me to see nothing being done. i see many of my friends and outsiders losing it. feeling the pressure.
no matter how i try, i know there will be others who don't have support.
future generation might feel even more pressure than kids do now.
what then?
i hope things change soon. not necessarily for me, but at least for the future generation. for my kids. grandkids. let's have a happy generation Z, shall we?
SPECIAL NOTE: To Izal Mexes. Happy 19th Birthday! Do not worry about achieving wonders and making a difference. You have already made a difference to someone. Me.
Sunday, August 10, 2003
gonnae be a- muggin till 6... *mentally prepares myself* oh, and just for the pic... here's a quizzie i took.
You know most things. You know what's necessary...
How much useless info do u know about The Beatles?
brought to you by Quizilla
-update- i just changed my template?? like it? you better do... took me hours to figure the HTML crap out. i'm EXTREMELY IT- challenged. oh well. sorry u can't comment or tag yet. have to do it a step at a time mah... oh n bryan, don't be DPC la... we went thru ALOT of hell to get yester day. A HELLUVA lotsa HELL. heh.
You know most things. You know what's necessary...
How much useless info do u know about The Beatles?
brought to you by Quizilla
-update- i just changed my template?? like it? you better do... took me hours to figure the HTML crap out. i'm EXTREMELY IT- challenged. oh well. sorry u can't comment or tag yet. have to do it a step at a time mah... oh n bryan, don't be DPC la... we went thru ALOT of hell to get yester day. A HELLUVA lotsa HELL. heh.
Saturday, August 09, 2003
pooped. exhausted. tired. worn out. shagged. weary. drained. bushed. dead beat. fatigued. enervated.
but with each and every one of my 5 senses satiated... maybe even a 6th sense?
all i know is, i am ABSOLUTELY satisfied.
had more chocolate than i ever had in my whole life, ate yummy cakes [$30 worth of it], sat and appreciated nature for hours... before watching the beauty of mankind in the form of fireworks. all on a hilltop.
felt more love than i had ever felt in days. the whole experience was absolutely stunning. if ever there was a perfect night, this was it.
to think two days ago i thought today would never happen. i lost it all and got so much more back in return.
contented with the world and everyone. you, you, you and you, all of you, are such perfect beings. thank you for being here.
g'nite for now... sleep well in the arms of the darkest moments in the world.
but with each and every one of my 5 senses satiated... maybe even a 6th sense?
all i know is, i am ABSOLUTELY satisfied.
had more chocolate than i ever had in my whole life, ate yummy cakes [$30 worth of it], sat and appreciated nature for hours... before watching the beauty of mankind in the form of fireworks. all on a hilltop.
felt more love than i had ever felt in days. the whole experience was absolutely stunning. if ever there was a perfect night, this was it.
to think two days ago i thought today would never happen. i lost it all and got so much more back in return.
contented with the world and everyone. you, you, you and you, all of you, are such perfect beings. thank you for being here.
g'nite for now... sleep well in the arms of the darkest moments in the world.
Friday, August 08, 2003
"one people, one nation, one singapore...."
first and foremost, i had the SU-WEEEEEET-EST time this morning singing and being silly with A05. thanx guys, that was really fun. come to think of it, it'll be the last time we'll all stand together and laugh and sing and be crazy. *tears* ironically, i know i'll miss fahrur the most. just for singing along with me note by note and shriek by shriek. and bryan for dancing along despite being lazy. thanx guys... it seems corny but it meant alot. i really truly had fun. funniest moment: when singing one people one nation, the whole of A05 started pointing their fingers upwards, to signify a 1, and swayed side to side. it was... a... very... warm-fuzzy-feeling inducing. *dreads farewell assembly*
after the school concert thingo, me and hafiz sneaked away... we were not avoiding anyone... but we wanted to celebrate our anniversary together... and i didn't want to have to awkwardly tell someone we wanted to be alone. haha. so we rushed off right after the stupid cheer crap.
took a bus raffles place. walked around raffles city just to absorb some air- con. afternoon heat is a killer.
at about 11.40- ish, headed to capitol theatre [where the bloody 90s' hall of fame rubbish is] and went to magic wok.
oooooooooooooooh baybeeehh..... the PHAT NOODLES WERE ROCKING GOOD! and cheap. $3.90 for a serving so big, BOTH me and hafiz couldn't finish it. definite value for money. and hafiz had thai styled pineapple rice. yummy. and then we ordered their mango pudding. of course. and it just... melts... melts and melts and just MASSAGE your taste buds... and the mango chunks were.... oooooh. just recalling it is.... aah. yummmmmmy.
hafiz went for friday prayers at the orchard mosque while i wandered around heerens. bryan would have been pleased. GADZILLIONS chiobus. all wearing red, of course. sigh. eye pain can! wandered around and noticed f.w.s had the loveliest long- sleeve shirt... with a prcie cut form $69 to $19! but the material was a bit... silky- ish. went to bodynits... oooooh. lotsa gays man... felt so sad. not cuz they were cute and very eligible [ok, that, too la] but because they... they reminded me of someone who no longer speaks nor look at me. i miss the OLD him. the him who used to sing and dance and be crazy with me... especially on celebrative school days like today. oh well... he changed, i changed... what can we do? just move on...
so anyway. bodynits had nice short- sleeved shirts... and there were like, 60% and 70% off! i just HAD to drag hafiz there after his prayers... tried the f.w.s long- sleeved one and 3 shirts at bodynits. i ended up buying him a shirt from bodynits. it was too nice and too cheap [$23] to not buy. and he looked nice in it too. he'll wear it for my birthday. yay! it goes with my dress. hahaha.
went home after that and was totally pooped. slept till eight and was still full. munching on biscuits now. gonna watch amazing race. ciao!
p.s. i'll definitely miss A05. sigh. it's a fun class.... to say the least. =]
first and foremost, i had the SU-WEEEEEET-EST time this morning singing and being silly with A05. thanx guys, that was really fun. come to think of it, it'll be the last time we'll all stand together and laugh and sing and be crazy. *tears* ironically, i know i'll miss fahrur the most. just for singing along with me note by note and shriek by shriek. and bryan for dancing along despite being lazy. thanx guys... it seems corny but it meant alot. i really truly had fun. funniest moment: when singing one people one nation, the whole of A05 started pointing their fingers upwards, to signify a 1, and swayed side to side. it was... a... very... warm-fuzzy-feeling inducing. *dreads farewell assembly*
after the school concert thingo, me and hafiz sneaked away... we were not avoiding anyone... but we wanted to celebrate our anniversary together... and i didn't want to have to awkwardly tell someone we wanted to be alone. haha. so we rushed off right after the stupid cheer crap.
took a bus raffles place. walked around raffles city just to absorb some air- con. afternoon heat is a killer.
at about 11.40- ish, headed to capitol theatre [where the bloody 90s' hall of fame rubbish is] and went to magic wok.
oooooooooooooooh baybeeehh..... the PHAT NOODLES WERE ROCKING GOOD! and cheap. $3.90 for a serving so big, BOTH me and hafiz couldn't finish it. definite value for money. and hafiz had thai styled pineapple rice. yummy. and then we ordered their mango pudding. of course. and it just... melts... melts and melts and just MASSAGE your taste buds... and the mango chunks were.... oooooh. just recalling it is.... aah. yummmmmmy.
hafiz went for friday prayers at the orchard mosque while i wandered around heerens. bryan would have been pleased. GADZILLIONS chiobus. all wearing red, of course. sigh. eye pain can! wandered around and noticed f.w.s had the loveliest long- sleeve shirt... with a prcie cut form $69 to $19! but the material was a bit... silky- ish. went to bodynits... oooooh. lotsa gays man... felt so sad. not cuz they were cute and very eligible [ok, that, too la] but because they... they reminded me of someone who no longer speaks nor look at me. i miss the OLD him. the him who used to sing and dance and be crazy with me... especially on celebrative school days like today. oh well... he changed, i changed... what can we do? just move on...
so anyway. bodynits had nice short- sleeved shirts... and there were like, 60% and 70% off! i just HAD to drag hafiz there after his prayers... tried the f.w.s long- sleeved one and 3 shirts at bodynits. i ended up buying him a shirt from bodynits. it was too nice and too cheap [$23] to not buy. and he looked nice in it too. he'll wear it for my birthday. yay! it goes with my dress. hahaha.
went home after that and was totally pooped. slept till eight and was still full. munching on biscuits now. gonna watch amazing race. ciao!
p.s. i'll definitely miss A05. sigh. it's a fun class.... to say the least. =]
Thursday, August 07, 2003
do you feel good? i feel gooooooooood...
today has been a fabulous day. enough said. *smiles like a lunatic*
A05, i promise to mark everyone's attendance tomorrow, k, even if only me and hafiz are there. i lurve you people. muah, muah. haha.
tried to study in school today but the N- Day rehearsal and the heat was a horrid combo. we ended up walking home- mine, from school. haha. that was funny.
anyway we ended up not studying. too tired after the walk. but we made a promise to mug like siao on friday and sunday. *fingers crossed*
can't wait for saturday. fireworks, good food... heaven.
happy early birthday to huiminz by the way. haha. she got a duck so yellow i saw the duck before i saw her. haha.
i am naming it minz ducky ducky. haha. so what if it's not mine? haha. i'm getting a kick out of naming things. heh.
tomorrow would be a short day in school. and also my 8th mth together with hafiz. wow.
will be having lunch at magic wok- yummy thai food. those interested, try the one in far east plaza, level 4 if i'm not wrong. must- have: mango pudding. yummylicious.
i'm allowing myself to be distracted for this week solely. but next few weeks would be totally dedicated to studying. until my birthday comes. then it'll be back to mugging till year end. i have faith in wat dennis said.
"there's life after a levels. pay now, play later."
good luck friends. we will do it. we just have to, and we just CAN.
p.s. mexes, hope the job went well. did OT? heh...
today has been a fabulous day. enough said. *smiles like a lunatic*
A05, i promise to mark everyone's attendance tomorrow, k, even if only me and hafiz are there. i lurve you people. muah, muah. haha.
tried to study in school today but the N- Day rehearsal and the heat was a horrid combo. we ended up walking home- mine, from school. haha. that was funny.
anyway we ended up not studying. too tired after the walk. but we made a promise to mug like siao on friday and sunday. *fingers crossed*
can't wait for saturday. fireworks, good food... heaven.
happy early birthday to huiminz by the way. haha. she got a duck so yellow i saw the duck before i saw her. haha.
i am naming it minz ducky ducky. haha. so what if it's not mine? haha. i'm getting a kick out of naming things. heh.
tomorrow would be a short day in school. and also my 8th mth together with hafiz. wow.
will be having lunch at magic wok- yummy thai food. those interested, try the one in far east plaza, level 4 if i'm not wrong. must- have: mango pudding. yummylicious.
i'm allowing myself to be distracted for this week solely. but next few weeks would be totally dedicated to studying. until my birthday comes. then it'll be back to mugging till year end. i have faith in wat dennis said.
"there's life after a levels. pay now, play later."
good luck friends. we will do it. we just have to, and we just CAN.
p.s. mexes, hope the job went well. did OT? heh...
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
still.
i still have hope. i still want to hope.
and all i can do now is hope. and keep trying.
as hard as it is to keep pushing and keep trying, i don't want to let you go either.
so we'll keep trying. and keep on trying.
and maybe one day, it will all walk out.
i still have hope, hafiz, i still do. despite today.
i still have hope. i still want to hope.
and all i can do now is hope. and keep trying.
as hard as it is to keep pushing and keep trying, i don't want to let you go either.
so we'll keep trying. and keep on trying.
and maybe one day, it will all walk out.
i still have hope, hafiz, i still do. despite today.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
i HATE you, HATE you, HATE you, HATE YOU!!!!
i know i'll probably take this back soon... maybe later tonight, maybe tomorrow, when i tell you i love you. but till then, i do not regret saying this at all. i hate you, loathe you, despise you, detest you, ABHOR you for all that you've done today. i hate you for all the pain and disappointment i felt today. i hate you for all the sadness i had to bear today. i hate you for all the smiles i had to force upon my face although you upset me. i hate you for making me take that stupid walk home with you despite us knowing it would be a sullen gloomy one. i hate you for raising your voice at me. i hate you for pushing me away so roughly from the bus although you meant well. i hate you for queationing everything i said and did. i hate you for being so sensitive and overly paranoid and totally ignorant of how i felt. i hate you for calling your mistakes "careless" and "honest" all the time, as though those verbs makes what you did any less of a mistake that it was. like it made the pain i felt from what you did any less than what it was. i hate you for being uncaring. for being self- centred. for being overly- jealous. i hate you hate you hate you. i didn't want to come to school today. just didn't want to. but i remembered we wanted to study till 9 in school today, and we both wanted to break fast together. true, it's not your fault i can't study in school. my cousin is coming for a visit from malaysia and i can't miss that. but you were not fasting anyway so we wouldn't have break fast together. but i still hate you, for not being sure if you wanted to send me home. for pondering if i am WORTH sending home. i hate you for not caring. i hate you for keep changing your mind. i hate you for being so selfish. i hate you so much. i hate you for ending the day on a negative note despite our promise to always seperate happy. fuck happy, hafiz, and fuck you.
i know i'll probably take this back soon... maybe later tonight, maybe tomorrow, when i tell you i love you. but till then, i do not regret saying this at all. i hate you, loathe you, despise you, detest you, ABHOR you for all that you've done today. i hate you for all the pain and disappointment i felt today. i hate you for all the sadness i had to bear today. i hate you for all the smiles i had to force upon my face although you upset me. i hate you for making me take that stupid walk home with you despite us knowing it would be a sullen gloomy one. i hate you for raising your voice at me. i hate you for pushing me away so roughly from the bus although you meant well. i hate you for queationing everything i said and did. i hate you for being so sensitive and overly paranoid and totally ignorant of how i felt. i hate you for calling your mistakes "careless" and "honest" all the time, as though those verbs makes what you did any less of a mistake that it was. like it made the pain i felt from what you did any less than what it was. i hate you for being uncaring. for being self- centred. for being overly- jealous. i hate you hate you hate you. i didn't want to come to school today. just didn't want to. but i remembered we wanted to study till 9 in school today, and we both wanted to break fast together. true, it's not your fault i can't study in school. my cousin is coming for a visit from malaysia and i can't miss that. but you were not fasting anyway so we wouldn't have break fast together. but i still hate you, for not being sure if you wanted to send me home. for pondering if i am WORTH sending home. i hate you for not caring. i hate you for keep changing your mind. i hate you for being so selfish. i hate you so much. i hate you for ending the day on a negative note despite our promise to always seperate happy. fuck happy, hafiz, and fuck you.
Monday, August 04, 2003
somethin' from my e- mail...
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
depends. if there's school its 6.25... if there isn't, its noons babyyyy!
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
ilhan mansiz? no, no. zinedine zidane? no. harry kewell? wait. wat about trezeguet? or maybe raul. or keanu reeves. god, does it HAVE to be one person???
3. GOLD OR SILVER?
silver. gold is passe.
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
FINDING NEMOOOOO!!!!
5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
gilmore girls, WWE, friends [recently, since emma came in], wheel of fortune... Spongebob!
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
breakfast do not exist in my vocab, much to the annoyance of certain caring people... haha.
7. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
politically correct answer: my guy. ahakz. no, no. really. i'm always in a room with him. oops...
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no. my tongue is a funky shaped one n my nose is friggin flat. was this question intentionally created to rub in my deformities?
9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
true, honest, altruistic life.
10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
frubblescotch
11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
beach near the city in a country. =p
12.SUMMER OR WINTER?
both. too cold is boring.
13.YUM?
chocolattt...
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
buttered! honeyed! sweet! yummy! paid by someone not me!
15. FAVOURITE CAR???
beetle VW
16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING?
chicken cheese & mayo. yum.
17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC?
60s, oldies, barry white, punk, jazz... eclectic choice, but NO POP!
18. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
those who find it so easy to point out others mistakes without realizing their own. [point 1 finger, 4 more points back at ya... =p]
19. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
baby's breath
20. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO SPEND ALL?
erm, who waits???
21. DO YOU WEAR PYJAMAS?
when i want to feel pampered, yes. along with scented candles and body n foot cream... mmm....
22. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
dark brown. its my dad's.
23. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
three. four when i get my vespa. YAHOO!
24. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE?
tioman
25. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
time, friends, family and education. it ain't easy, but someone has to do the dirty job... bwarghkhakha.
26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
saturday. friends, family, sweets. i'm definitely out with great company that day.
27. RED OR WHITE WINE?
white. only cuz red stinks. i don't drink! one tequila two tekeela three teqweela FLOOR.
28. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
had a bbq with my close mates and broke up with my himbo of a boyfriend of 3 weeks.
29. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
err... no. don't think i ever can cuz i'm too thin.
30. SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU.
izal, no soccer for you! watch that forehead u silly boy! [er, did that qualify as nice??]
31. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
everyone. hahahahaha.
32. WHO IS THE PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK
like i said, no one. heh.
33. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
econs tys. well trying. honestly? los angeles homes. they are soooooo beautiful.
34 FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
none. monopoly i guess. no no no! snakes and ladder!
35. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
cleo.
36. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
JPG women & bvlgari pour homme for men. mmm...
38. FAVOURITE SOUND?
hafiz's laughter.
39. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
losing a loved one. over and over and over again.
40. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
do i really have to get up? what are the consequences if i don't? do i have to study? need i study? repeatedly till i fall asleep again.
41. FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
burger king. big burgers, more variety, no bells. heaven.
42. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
rushdy & kayla
43. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, ;
i'll shop without thinking." cheers!
44. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
even if i could which i can't but even if could i wouldn't.
45. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
yes. three or four of em'. they end up on the floor next morning. hey, its the thot that counts.
46. STORMS, COOL OR SCARY?
eery.
47. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
well. it will be a beetle volkswagen.
48. FAVOURITE DRINK?
coke and mocha
49. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME,
i will show each and every of my loved ones i love them."
50. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
eurgh. no.
51. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
i'm now traumatised by hair colours. i'll stick with my natural colour thank you.
52. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN?
singapore is A city. so one. sadly.
and yes doris. you're free to leech this. =]
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
depends. if there's school its 6.25... if there isn't, its noons babyyyy!
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
ilhan mansiz? no, no. zinedine zidane? no. harry kewell? wait. wat about trezeguet? or maybe raul. or keanu reeves. god, does it HAVE to be one person???
3. GOLD OR SILVER?
silver. gold is passe.
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
FINDING NEMOOOOO!!!!
5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
gilmore girls, WWE, friends [recently, since emma came in], wheel of fortune... Spongebob!
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
breakfast do not exist in my vocab, much to the annoyance of certain caring people... haha.
7. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
politically correct answer: my guy. ahakz. no, no. really. i'm always in a room with him. oops...
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no. my tongue is a funky shaped one n my nose is friggin flat. was this question intentionally created to rub in my deformities?
9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
true, honest, altruistic life.
10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
frubblescotch
11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?
beach near the city in a country. =p
12.SUMMER OR WINTER?
both. too cold is boring.
13.YUM?
chocolattt...
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
buttered! honeyed! sweet! yummy! paid by someone not me!
15. FAVOURITE CAR???
beetle VW
16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING?
chicken cheese & mayo. yum.
17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC?
60s, oldies, barry white, punk, jazz... eclectic choice, but NO POP!
18. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
those who find it so easy to point out others mistakes without realizing their own. [point 1 finger, 4 more points back at ya... =p]
19. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
baby's breath
20. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO SPEND ALL?
erm, who waits???
21. DO YOU WEAR PYJAMAS?
when i want to feel pampered, yes. along with scented candles and body n foot cream... mmm....
22. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
dark brown. its my dad's.
23. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
three. four when i get my vespa. YAHOO!
24. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE?
tioman
25. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
time, friends, family and education. it ain't easy, but someone has to do the dirty job... bwarghkhakha.
26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
saturday. friends, family, sweets. i'm definitely out with great company that day.
27. RED OR WHITE WINE?
white. only cuz red stinks. i don't drink! one tequila two tekeela three teqweela FLOOR.
28. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
had a bbq with my close mates and broke up with my himbo of a boyfriend of 3 weeks.
29. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
err... no. don't think i ever can cuz i'm too thin.
30. SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU.
izal, no soccer for you! watch that forehead u silly boy! [er, did that qualify as nice??]
31. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
everyone. hahahahaha.
32. WHO IS THE PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK
like i said, no one. heh.
33. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
econs tys. well trying. honestly? los angeles homes. they are soooooo beautiful.
34 FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
none. monopoly i guess. no no no! snakes and ladder!
35. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
cleo.
36. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
JPG women & bvlgari pour homme for men. mmm...
38. FAVOURITE SOUND?
hafiz's laughter.
39. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
losing a loved one. over and over and over again.
40. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
do i really have to get up? what are the consequences if i don't? do i have to study? need i study? repeatedly till i fall asleep again.
41. FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
burger king. big burgers, more variety, no bells. heaven.
42. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
rushdy & kayla
43. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, ;
i'll shop without thinking." cheers!
44. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
even if i could which i can't but even if could i wouldn't.
45. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
yes. three or four of em'. they end up on the floor next morning. hey, its the thot that counts.
46. STORMS, COOL OR SCARY?
eery.
47. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
well. it will be a beetle volkswagen.
48. FAVOURITE DRINK?
coke and mocha
49. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME,
i will show each and every of my loved ones i love them."
50. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
eurgh. no.
51. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
i'm now traumatised by hair colours. i'll stick with my natural colour thank you.
52. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN?
singapore is A city. so one. sadly.
and yes doris. you're free to leech this. =]
Sunday, August 03, 2003
yay!
You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast!
What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast!
What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
it's just another day. just another sunday.
woke up: watched some kids central. mum got back with delifrance brunch, yummy. had baked potato and a lemon tea. read the papers and watched some OLD movie- Espionage Adventure, starring GENE HACKMAN and bunch of others. gene da man looked young so my take is the movie was made in the 80s? -cringes- that explains the VERY fake sets and vomit- inducing outfits.
post- paper readings: clock reads 2.30 p.m. was focussed on finishing up where i left off for econs. but. was distracted by strands of hair on the floor. so i swept the floor. then, i felt dirty so i bathed. it was developing into that "Procrastination" episode of Spongebob Squarepants. thankfully, i stopped at bathing.
post- bathing: studied econs- foreign exchange. seems so simple now. hopefully that will be the way with the hundred other topics i'll be studying soon. eeks. got distracted every now and then. my friend, izal called. looked up and saw the countdown i had post- it- ed on my display shelf. started thinking of my birthday and saturday... slight daydreaming, then... back to forex. hours into it, tummy grumbled. so in went a peach tart while Class 95 FM was playing disco hits in the background. *bobs head up and down* returned to forex and stuck by it till 5.50 p.m.
post- forex mugging: chatted with hafiz for a while- he was out cycling. can't wait to get my bicycle from my uncle so i can join him next time! tucked myself comfortably into the sofa and waited for gilmore girls to start.
post- gilmore girls: made my notice board thing. but i got nothing to hold it up on the wall. might be attacking popular or DIY store later. then, logged on to the net and WALLAH! here i am.
so that's my normal sunday. can't wait for the fireworks on saturday! *countdown the seconds to saturday...*
woke up: watched some kids central. mum got back with delifrance brunch, yummy. had baked potato and a lemon tea. read the papers and watched some OLD movie- Espionage Adventure, starring GENE HACKMAN and bunch of others. gene da man looked young so my take is the movie was made in the 80s? -cringes- that explains the VERY fake sets and vomit- inducing outfits.
post- paper readings: clock reads 2.30 p.m. was focussed on finishing up where i left off for econs. but. was distracted by strands of hair on the floor. so i swept the floor. then, i felt dirty so i bathed. it was developing into that "Procrastination" episode of Spongebob Squarepants. thankfully, i stopped at bathing.
post- bathing: studied econs- foreign exchange. seems so simple now. hopefully that will be the way with the hundred other topics i'll be studying soon. eeks. got distracted every now and then. my friend, izal called. looked up and saw the countdown i had post- it- ed on my display shelf. started thinking of my birthday and saturday... slight daydreaming, then... back to forex. hours into it, tummy grumbled. so in went a peach tart while Class 95 FM was playing disco hits in the background. *bobs head up and down* returned to forex and stuck by it till 5.50 p.m.
post- forex mugging: chatted with hafiz for a while- he was out cycling. can't wait to get my bicycle from my uncle so i can join him next time! tucked myself comfortably into the sofa and waited for gilmore girls to start.
post- gilmore girls: made my notice board thing. but i got nothing to hold it up on the wall. might be attacking popular or DIY store later. then, logged on to the net and WALLAH! here i am.
so that's my normal sunday. can't wait for the fireworks on saturday! *countdown the seconds to saturday...*
Saturday, August 02, 2003
dustiest and cleanest day of my life.
what a way to spend a saturday.
had breakfast at jurong west with my relatives. met my cute nephew harith. SOOOOO cute. keep slobbering him with kisses. haha.
bought 3 retro towels. i am becoming super homey.
hafiz came over at noon to help me clean the house. mum said if we do a good job, there's $$$!!
but she has yet to come back and pass the verdict. *fingers crossed*
it was horribly dusty. we took out my SARS kit and wore the free masks. serious.
sneezed like a dog on flea.
at 4.30 p.m., i was on the toilet floor scrubbing between the tiles with an old toothbrush. [which i threw away immediately, just in case.]
hurt my back bending down to sweep the floor for too long. hafiz placed an ice- pack on it and WOOOOT! did it hurt.
gone now, thankfully.
had fun washing the kitchen. haha. we just totally sprayed the whole place with my showerhead.
house is squeaky- clean now. when we were wearing the mask, we were like, you know, we look like we're disinfecting the house of a SARS victim or somethin'. hehe. we did actually.
my neighbour passing by took a double take. i was cleaning the sides of my door and was standing on a chair. and wearing a mask. heh.
will watch soccer and wrestling later tonight. might be studying after that. sigh. haven't study the whole day. *takes a guilt trip and back*
planning to do a notice board thingy for my room. might help remind me of stuffs.
watched finding nemo vcd. the ending when nemo hugs marlin and says i love you, dad, still tears me up. it did when i watched it the first time, it did when i watched it again just now. guess that line is just... touchy.
i love you, dad. i wish i had told you before...
before you went.
what a way to spend a saturday.
had breakfast at jurong west with my relatives. met my cute nephew harith. SOOOOO cute. keep slobbering him with kisses. haha.
bought 3 retro towels. i am becoming super homey.
hafiz came over at noon to help me clean the house. mum said if we do a good job, there's $$$!!
but she has yet to come back and pass the verdict. *fingers crossed*
it was horribly dusty. we took out my SARS kit and wore the free masks. serious.
sneezed like a dog on flea.
at 4.30 p.m., i was on the toilet floor scrubbing between the tiles with an old toothbrush. [which i threw away immediately, just in case.]
hurt my back bending down to sweep the floor for too long. hafiz placed an ice- pack on it and WOOOOT! did it hurt.
gone now, thankfully.
had fun washing the kitchen. haha. we just totally sprayed the whole place with my showerhead.
house is squeaky- clean now. when we were wearing the mask, we were like, you know, we look like we're disinfecting the house of a SARS victim or somethin'. hehe. we did actually.
my neighbour passing by took a double take. i was cleaning the sides of my door and was standing on a chair. and wearing a mask. heh.
will watch soccer and wrestling later tonight. might be studying after that. sigh. haven't study the whole day. *takes a guilt trip and back*
planning to do a notice board thingy for my room. might help remind me of stuffs.
watched finding nemo vcd. the ending when nemo hugs marlin and says i love you, dad, still tears me up. it did when i watched it the first time, it did when i watched it again just now. guess that line is just... touchy.
i love you, dad. i wish i had told you before...
before you went.
Friday, August 01, 2003
come to think of it, this does look a little like the dream wedding dress i have in mind... *smiles*
What's Your Wedding Style?
brought to you by Quizilla
What's Your Wedding Style?
brought to you by Quizilla
what would you do if your best friend of many years told you that he/ she was gay?
-EEEEEH- wrong. what DID i do?
trust mr eddie to propose such an apt question to ME.
but it was worth watching him fidget uncomfortably.
hey, i didn't say anything directed to him.
i just said i accepted it as part of what he [or she, i added, as an afterthought] is.
but in front, i'll be like hey, wow, cool, you're having anal sex.
behind, i'll be praying for him [or her] to change. not for anything else but for himself. but if that's what he is, i'll take it.
i wish i could have just plain say, "Oh. I cried my eyeballs out and had nightmares about gay sex for months." "Oh. And i screamed bloody murder in my own house for hours due to initial shock and denial." but hey, a lesson is still a lesson, even if eddie is damn open- minded.
the moments when i was blinking and gaping like a goldfish and there was an uncomfortable silence in the air was priceless. the faces of my lovely classmates gazing at me. good lord. some were amused, some curious. most knew how awkward it was to have to answer it. but i'm glad i did. i think i cleared up some misunderstanding on my part.
got the class to sign my class photo. he didn't sign it, as i expected. its only for good.
everyone seems to mention my smiles and my laugh and my craziness. that's the way it has been for 12 years... i guess that'll always be the way.
*crazily huge smile*
if any of you bought the fun shot 2 where i am sitting down n giving the HUGEST smile of the century, be grateful you didn't buy the 8R v. the HUGEEE smile looks MULTIPLIED. my god.
babbled with kristy and ruz and bryan bout' prom and whatnots during lunch. bryan, please don't buy crutches ok. don't be crazy.
suddenly remembering my prom dress. its black and long. can't wait to wear it.
kudos to kristy for this tiger medicated plaster thingo. tho hafiz and me had quite an ordeal trying to stick it. wanted to try and make it look inconspicuous. failed.
about 7 TEACHERS and 1 CANTEEN LADY asked what happened to my neck. eddie even made fun of me and began walking with his neck tilted. ya' know, like kwek does.
it was funny. cuz another teacher saw him and she was like, eddie, wat are you doing? hahaha.
didn't watch spongebob. but sang the song a LOT of times with hafiz. come to think of it, it was better when he just knew the "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" part. now, he knows the whole song and is trying to make ME sing the "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" part. humph. manipulative strategist. *plots revenge*
doris and me sang the song during lit lecture. haha. that was fun. it irritated bryan, which is always fun. =)
reading the autographs from the class, it made my heart smile. despite the tumultous 2 years... it's been absolutely memorable. i have pleasant memories with each and every member of the class, even with those who now barely speak to me. so it isn't all that bad i guess... i'm grateful i met bryan, sheena, doris, huimin, limin, kristy, fahrur, daniel, nazreen, jaclyn... and of course hafiz. this people i'll remember always. i'll probably remember the rest, too, but they won't bring as big a smile as the people i mention above would.
thank you people.
-EEEEEH- wrong. what DID i do?
trust mr eddie to propose such an apt question to ME.
but it was worth watching him fidget uncomfortably.
hey, i didn't say anything directed to him.
i just said i accepted it as part of what he [or she, i added, as an afterthought] is.
but in front, i'll be like hey, wow, cool, you're having anal sex.
behind, i'll be praying for him [or her] to change. not for anything else but for himself. but if that's what he is, i'll take it.
i wish i could have just plain say, "Oh. I cried my eyeballs out and had nightmares about gay sex for months." "Oh. And i screamed bloody murder in my own house for hours due to initial shock and denial." but hey, a lesson is still a lesson, even if eddie is damn open- minded.
the moments when i was blinking and gaping like a goldfish and there was an uncomfortable silence in the air was priceless. the faces of my lovely classmates gazing at me. good lord. some were amused, some curious. most knew how awkward it was to have to answer it. but i'm glad i did. i think i cleared up some misunderstanding on my part.
got the class to sign my class photo. he didn't sign it, as i expected. its only for good.
everyone seems to mention my smiles and my laugh and my craziness. that's the way it has been for 12 years... i guess that'll always be the way.
*crazily huge smile*
if any of you bought the fun shot 2 where i am sitting down n giving the HUGEST smile of the century, be grateful you didn't buy the 8R v. the HUGEEE smile looks MULTIPLIED. my god.
babbled with kristy and ruz and bryan bout' prom and whatnots during lunch. bryan, please don't buy crutches ok. don't be crazy.
suddenly remembering my prom dress. its black and long. can't wait to wear it.
kudos to kristy for this tiger medicated plaster thingo. tho hafiz and me had quite an ordeal trying to stick it. wanted to try and make it look inconspicuous. failed.
about 7 TEACHERS and 1 CANTEEN LADY asked what happened to my neck. eddie even made fun of me and began walking with his neck tilted. ya' know, like kwek does.
it was funny. cuz another teacher saw him and she was like, eddie, wat are you doing? hahaha.
didn't watch spongebob. but sang the song a LOT of times with hafiz. come to think of it, it was better when he just knew the "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" part. now, he knows the whole song and is trying to make ME sing the "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" part. humph. manipulative strategist. *plots revenge*
doris and me sang the song during lit lecture. haha. that was fun. it irritated bryan, which is always fun. =)
reading the autographs from the class, it made my heart smile. despite the tumultous 2 years... it's been absolutely memorable. i have pleasant memories with each and every member of the class, even with those who now barely speak to me. so it isn't all that bad i guess... i'm grateful i met bryan, sheena, doris, huimin, limin, kristy, fahrur, daniel, nazreen, jaclyn... and of course hafiz. this people i'll remember always. i'll probably remember the rest, too, but they won't bring as big a smile as the people i mention above would.
thank you people.