I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
Hana
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Sunday, June 29, 2003
dead- meat
it is inexorable. my life has ended.
i am going to flunk my mid- years and i couldn't care less.
coughing like crazy and my throat feels RAW.
like sushi.
meeting up with dearie later to relax my mind.
i am going crazy.
i never knew pressure and stress so well before.
i fear a nervous breakdown before my paper tomorrow.
like the one i had before gp.
no.
i won't.
i will survive.
ya. rite.
it is inexorable. my life has ended.
i am going to flunk my mid- years and i couldn't care less.
coughing like crazy and my throat feels RAW.
like sushi.
meeting up with dearie later to relax my mind.
i am going crazy.
i never knew pressure and stress so well before.
i fear a nervous breakdown before my paper tomorrow.
like the one i had before gp.
no.
i won't.
i will survive.
ya. rite.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
thoughts for the day
exams.
econs.
hafiz.
history.
passing.
failing.
SATs.
literature.
gothic.
john donne.
antony n cleopatra.
hard times.
SEA history.
my room.
clothes.
shopping.
time.
money.
friends.
heartbreak.
happiness.
hugs.
studies.
NIE.
future.
money.
him.
hafiz.
econs.
russia.
germany.
keynes.
bureaucracy.
nationalism.
ARGHHH!!
exams.
econs.
hafiz.
history.
passing.
failing.
SATs.
literature.
gothic.
john donne.
antony n cleopatra.
hard times.
SEA history.
my room.
clothes.
shopping.
time.
money.
friends.
heartbreak.
happiness.
hugs.
studies.
NIE.
future.
money.
him.
hafiz.
econs.
russia.
germany.
keynes.
bureaucracy.
nationalism.
ARGHHH!!
jumbled up thoughts
just writing that reminds me of a song... "jambalaya crawfish pie and fillet gumbo...." forget it.
i didn't get my chocolate. i went out and bought myself pringles. stupid.
before i went to 7- 11, i called him, to accompany me. cuz its near his place and there's always yucky boys hanging round' there. but he just got back from soccer so he was too tired.
met my dearest at bkt panjang plaza today. had a short, simple lunch. lovely.
on my way there, i was crossing the same road with him but i didn't realize it till he grabbed my hand. i looked up, smiled and we continued walking our opposite directions.
is it my imagination or did he held it slightly longer than, erm, slightly longer than normal? god knows what normal is.
gave dearest a card... he seems to be going through a tough time. i hope my presence lessens the burden.
read the blog of a friend of a friend. she was fretting about not getting a GPA of 3 or something cuz she wants to go to TP. to take media comm.
my take is lucks missy. that course's lovely. it was my first choice institution. i got jc somehow. oh well. i'm living aren't i?
which reminds me of the talk me and my dearest had when we were mugging at the airport... WHY DID WE COME TO COLLEGE?
politically- correct answer: TO GO TO UNIVERSITY. fuck you, university.
reality. he was a 10- pointer. he could have gone to any JC, any poly course. he chose JC bcuz he could not decide on THE poly course for himself. he chose this delapidated JC bcuz he liked a senior that he met in his first three months course.
as for me. poly was my destiny. my A1 for english was obtained JUST SO i could go take Media Comm at TP. i didn't want any other poly course. my heart and mind and destiny, was SET.
come results time, i did well enough for that course AND to go to college. so what? i thought. Media Comm's for me.
it took me ONE DAY. just ONE DAY to fucking decide to put college as my 2nd option. and this frigging horrible college too, on top of that.
why? because M my ex persuaded and pleaded and begged and talked me into it. love.
HAH. love. BULL.
months later he turned out to be a bisexual and interested in another chinese girl from a different class.
YAHOO! my heart yelled. you're now a world- class proven dimwit.
it took me one day to change my life, my path, my destiny, for him.
not for one moment do i blame my misery on him. i was too stupid. i followed my heart too much.
but it was selfish and hurtful for him to change and leave me like dat. i made sacrifice that i don't think many are willing to make.
just one day, my life changed. everything i am now, is 90% due to that decision i made on that one fateful day.
do i regret it? sometimes. when i'm mugging for exams, when i think of poly lifestyle, when i see poly people...
but when i see my sweetie, my friends, my experience, my changes since coming to college, i must say it has been interesting. not good, not bad. interesting.
so ya. poly had always been my dream. right up to the day before we chose institutions.
now i have a bigger problem in hand.
problems.
exams- what's done is done. time to crash. and burn. and hopefully escape alive still. even if scarred.
my personal issue- i don't really know what's going on. am i losing interest in my sig. other? i think not. the love and spark and comfort is still there as always.
am i going back to my old ways? i don't think that either. i just don't.
so is it really wrong? maybe we just feel it. i don't think we'll do anything about it. we've felt it before, several times, but it just wasn't as intense.
but no. i am not leaving the best thing in my life for someone whom i'm only physically- attracted to. think he knows it too.
but now we talk different. nicer, less sarcasm... gentler. i don't know. maybe he just feels like being nice.
whatever.
just writing that reminds me of a song... "jambalaya crawfish pie and fillet gumbo...." forget it.
i didn't get my chocolate. i went out and bought myself pringles. stupid.
before i went to 7- 11, i called him, to accompany me. cuz its near his place and there's always yucky boys hanging round' there. but he just got back from soccer so he was too tired.
met my dearest at bkt panjang plaza today. had a short, simple lunch. lovely.
on my way there, i was crossing the same road with him but i didn't realize it till he grabbed my hand. i looked up, smiled and we continued walking our opposite directions.
is it my imagination or did he held it slightly longer than, erm, slightly longer than normal? god knows what normal is.
gave dearest a card... he seems to be going through a tough time. i hope my presence lessens the burden.
read the blog of a friend of a friend. she was fretting about not getting a GPA of 3 or something cuz she wants to go to TP. to take media comm.
my take is lucks missy. that course's lovely. it was my first choice institution. i got jc somehow. oh well. i'm living aren't i?
which reminds me of the talk me and my dearest had when we were mugging at the airport... WHY DID WE COME TO COLLEGE?
politically- correct answer: TO GO TO UNIVERSITY. fuck you, university.
reality. he was a 10- pointer. he could have gone to any JC, any poly course. he chose JC bcuz he could not decide on THE poly course for himself. he chose this delapidated JC bcuz he liked a senior that he met in his first three months course.
as for me. poly was my destiny. my A1 for english was obtained JUST SO i could go take Media Comm at TP. i didn't want any other poly course. my heart and mind and destiny, was SET.
come results time, i did well enough for that course AND to go to college. so what? i thought. Media Comm's for me.
it took me ONE DAY. just ONE DAY to fucking decide to put college as my 2nd option. and this frigging horrible college too, on top of that.
why? because M my ex persuaded and pleaded and begged and talked me into it. love.
HAH. love. BULL.
months later he turned out to be a bisexual and interested in another chinese girl from a different class.
YAHOO! my heart yelled. you're now a world- class proven dimwit.
it took me one day to change my life, my path, my destiny, for him.
not for one moment do i blame my misery on him. i was too stupid. i followed my heart too much.
but it was selfish and hurtful for him to change and leave me like dat. i made sacrifice that i don't think many are willing to make.
just one day, my life changed. everything i am now, is 90% due to that decision i made on that one fateful day.
do i regret it? sometimes. when i'm mugging for exams, when i think of poly lifestyle, when i see poly people...
but when i see my sweetie, my friends, my experience, my changes since coming to college, i must say it has been interesting. not good, not bad. interesting.
so ya. poly had always been my dream. right up to the day before we chose institutions.
now i have a bigger problem in hand.
problems.
exams- what's done is done. time to crash. and burn. and hopefully escape alive still. even if scarred.
my personal issue- i don't really know what's going on. am i losing interest in my sig. other? i think not. the love and spark and comfort is still there as always.
am i going back to my old ways? i don't think that either. i just don't.
so is it really wrong? maybe we just feel it. i don't think we'll do anything about it. we've felt it before, several times, but it just wasn't as intense.
but no. i am not leaving the best thing in my life for someone whom i'm only physically- attracted to. think he knows it too.
but now we talk different. nicer, less sarcasm... gentler. i don't know. maybe he just feels like being nice.
whatever.
Friday, June 27, 2003
more questions with no answers...
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
exactly.
i want a chocolate.
no. i NEED chocolate.
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to eat a big one?
exactly.
i want a chocolate.
no. i NEED chocolate.
the blah.
the blahness of life is beginning to set in... all this studying, mugging, cramming for exams and knowing all the knowledge would be entirely irrelevant to my life in future is beginning to wear me down. why do we go through this mundane orders of life? why bother at all? life is a phase, its not everything. its a vicious cycle... i believe my children would be next and already, my heart goes out to them. why are we here where we are, and not somewhere else? why do we do what we do, even though we know we don't have to? what is pushing us? why do we bother? so many questions... no answers.
i wish my life is different. i don't know how or in what way but just different. i wait and wait for the day where i can wake up and know i can die right at that moment with no regrets or desire to turn back. i want to one day, wake up, and know that i can do anything i want irregardless of the cost, the consequence, the opportunity cost, the time loss. i want to be anything at any point in time. not this one sole single thing that i am right now. i am just me. what i am. its an order. its rigid and controlling. everyday its the same. it doesn't matter what i do, what i wear, who i'm with, where i'm at. i know its still the same. you know its still the same. i can be at changi beach or the school lecture theatre, but i'll still be me. its still the same thing. i can be happy or sad or crazy or angry but i know its still the same thing. its just so SAME. the sameness is driving me inSANE.
rambling and rambling not even knowing why. rambling and rambling just pondering about life. rambling and rambling about how its all the same. rambling and rambling knowing its never gonna change.
where do i go from here? ya. go NIE. be a teacher. -change lives- BULL. get married. -live happily ever after- BULL. have children, develop my career. - chase my dreams- BULL. i don't even know what my dreams are anymore. how can i write? i risk losing good, strong income. how can i publish a magazine? the media market is full of em'. how can i be a feature journalist? i'm barely known in this scrawny piece of land. why bother at all, fiza, why bother AT ALL...
if any of this load of crap had made sense to you, congrats. cuz it sure didn't make sense to me.
the blahness of life is beginning to set in... all this studying, mugging, cramming for exams and knowing all the knowledge would be entirely irrelevant to my life in future is beginning to wear me down. why do we go through this mundane orders of life? why bother at all? life is a phase, its not everything. its a vicious cycle... i believe my children would be next and already, my heart goes out to them. why are we here where we are, and not somewhere else? why do we do what we do, even though we know we don't have to? what is pushing us? why do we bother? so many questions... no answers.
i wish my life is different. i don't know how or in what way but just different. i wait and wait for the day where i can wake up and know i can die right at that moment with no regrets or desire to turn back. i want to one day, wake up, and know that i can do anything i want irregardless of the cost, the consequence, the opportunity cost, the time loss. i want to be anything at any point in time. not this one sole single thing that i am right now. i am just me. what i am. its an order. its rigid and controlling. everyday its the same. it doesn't matter what i do, what i wear, who i'm with, where i'm at. i know its still the same. you know its still the same. i can be at changi beach or the school lecture theatre, but i'll still be me. its still the same thing. i can be happy or sad or crazy or angry but i know its still the same thing. its just so SAME. the sameness is driving me inSANE.
rambling and rambling not even knowing why. rambling and rambling just pondering about life. rambling and rambling about how its all the same. rambling and rambling knowing its never gonna change.
where do i go from here? ya. go NIE. be a teacher. -change lives- BULL. get married. -live happily ever after- BULL. have children, develop my career. - chase my dreams- BULL. i don't even know what my dreams are anymore. how can i write? i risk losing good, strong income. how can i publish a magazine? the media market is full of em'. how can i be a feature journalist? i'm barely known in this scrawny piece of land. why bother at all, fiza, why bother AT ALL...
if any of this load of crap had made sense to you, congrats. cuz it sure didn't make sense to me.
K.I.L.L. M.E. S.O.M.E.O.N.E.
E.C.O.N.S. I.S. D.R.I.V.I.N.G. M.E. C.R.A.Z.Y.
E.X.A.M.S. I.S. D.E.S.T.R.O.Y.I.N.G. M.Y. S.A.N.I.T.Y.
K.I.L.L.M.E.N.O.W.
PLEASE.
E.C.O.N.S. I.S. D.R.I.V.I.N.G. M.E. C.R.A.Z.Y.
E.X.A.M.S. I.S. D.E.S.T.R.O.Y.I.N.G. M.Y. S.A.N.I.T.Y.
K.I.L.L.M.E.N.O.W.
PLEASE.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
5th September
Beautiful but full of melancholy
attractive
very empathic
loves anything beautiful and tasteful
loves to travel
dreamer
restless
capricious
honest
can be influenced but is not easy to live with
demanding
good intuition
suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
go check it... pretty cool. http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/treetypes.pl
Beautiful but full of melancholy
attractive
very empathic
loves anything beautiful and tasteful
loves to travel
dreamer
restless
capricious
honest
can be influenced but is not easy to live with
demanding
good intuition
suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
go check it... pretty cool. http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/treetypes.pl
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
erm...
i am going to try to write properly like my dear friend ~byst does. he writes in proper english, grammatically correct and all. such pleasure reading for the teacher in me. *giggles*
oops! there i go again. its so difficult. do u do it with proper caps for beginning of each sentence or just aNyHoW typE oNe?
*giddy*
ok i'll write my way. ~byst, i salute ur prowness for perfect english.
back to my night. yup yup yup.
just got back from my free dinner. haha.
my good bud, faizal, accompanied me to lot 1 to settle pictorial stuff.
then, i was hungry so he suggested sunshine place, a foodie court near our flats.
so we walked.... talked..... [this is so predictable isn't it?]
we got there.
not much wheedling needed- as compared to previous occurences with farhana and imran- in fact, i'll say the treat was rather voluntary.
he paid for the mee goreng and the drinks.
so we ate.... talked.... joked... laughed.
i think he said something annoying- as usual,- and i pinched him.
thighs and arms, i think. i've got bad aim.
anyway, we continued chatting.
buti'mdigressing.
ithinktherewassomesexual,wait,no,PHYSICALchemistrybetweenus.
phew there i said it.
not like its all that new, we've been friends for years. and besides, afterall, we ARE "boy. girl. boy meets girl. girl meets boy." yada yada.
but we hadn't met in a while. busy with our own lives, i guess.
and when we finally did, we talked like there's no tomorrow.
whatever. nothing happened. not tonight, not before, not ever.
i've learnt first- hand that there's no point losing a beautiful platonic friendship to minutes of cheap thrill.
pointless pointless pointless
glad i've said it. god i have an outspoken conscience!
moving on to second base.
less guilt, more joy.
hehe. heading to AIRPORT TOMORROW!
what's with me and changi, u might ask?
go ask my significant other.
we're studying there WHOLE of tomorrow...
which means...........................
NO HISTORY LECTURE FOR US!
YAY!
i am going to try to write properly like my dear friend ~byst does. he writes in proper english, grammatically correct and all. such pleasure reading for the teacher in me. *giggles*
oops! there i go again. its so difficult. do u do it with proper caps for beginning of each sentence or just aNyHoW typE oNe?
*giddy*
ok i'll write my way. ~byst, i salute ur prowness for perfect english.
back to my night. yup yup yup.
just got back from my free dinner. haha.
my good bud, faizal, accompanied me to lot 1 to settle pictorial stuff.
then, i was hungry so he suggested sunshine place, a foodie court near our flats.
so we walked.... talked..... [this is so predictable isn't it?]
we got there.
not much wheedling needed- as compared to previous occurences with farhana and imran- in fact, i'll say the treat was rather voluntary.
he paid for the mee goreng and the drinks.
so we ate.... talked.... joked... laughed.
i think he said something annoying- as usual,- and i pinched him.
thighs and arms, i think. i've got bad aim.
anyway, we continued chatting.
buti'mdigressing.
ithinktherewassomesexual,wait,no,PHYSICALchemistrybetweenus.
phew there i said it.
not like its all that new, we've been friends for years. and besides, afterall, we ARE "boy. girl. boy meets girl. girl meets boy." yada yada.
but we hadn't met in a while. busy with our own lives, i guess.
and when we finally did, we talked like there's no tomorrow.
whatever. nothing happened. not tonight, not before, not ever.
i've learnt first- hand that there's no point losing a beautiful platonic friendship to minutes of cheap thrill.
pointless pointless pointless
glad i've said it. god i have an outspoken conscience!
moving on to second base.
less guilt, more joy.
hehe. heading to AIRPORT TOMORROW!
what's with me and changi, u might ask?
go ask my significant other.
we're studying there WHOLE of tomorrow...
which means...........................
NO HISTORY LECTURE FOR US!
YAY!
lurveellyyy...
wonderful wonderful wonderful...
i haven't had such a great day in such a long time.
sigh.
its lovely.
the sun the sand the sea.
excuse the absence of grammatically correct english and punctuation i'm too busy wording my euphoria.
haha.
i sound high.
it was lovely.
sitting under the shelter.
counting planes.
drawing a passing boat.
drawing the coconut tree.
drawing a dinghy and the island across.
wading in the sea.
then, eating.
at changi village.
POWERR nasi lemak.
yummy mutton chop.
the best of the best teh sarabat. [indian/ mamak tea w' milk...]
and to polish it off...
coconut.
mmm.
then a walk around the nearby stores.
such old, vintage stores.
saw really funky, retro shennanigans.
bliss.
what i'll give to repeat the day.
*sighs blissfully*
by the way, i dunno how to upload pics....
help, anyone???
wonderful wonderful wonderful...
i haven't had such a great day in such a long time.
sigh.
its lovely.
the sun the sand the sea.
excuse the absence of grammatically correct english and punctuation i'm too busy wording my euphoria.
haha.
i sound high.
it was lovely.
sitting under the shelter.
counting planes.
drawing a passing boat.
drawing the coconut tree.
drawing a dinghy and the island across.
wading in the sea.
then, eating.
at changi village.
POWERR nasi lemak.
yummy mutton chop.
the best of the best teh sarabat. [indian/ mamak tea w' milk...]
and to polish it off...
coconut.
mmm.
then a walk around the nearby stores.
such old, vintage stores.
saw really funky, retro shennanigans.
bliss.
what i'll give to repeat the day.
*sighs blissfully*
by the way, i dunno how to upload pics....
help, anyone???
CHECKLIST
bikini top..........................check
booty shorts.....................check
indie top...........................check
beach towel......................check
new g's.............................check
xtra under garbs................check
antony & cleo notes...........check
antony & cleo text..............check
hard times notes................check
hard times text..................check
camera.............................check
xtra film roll.......................check
changi beach..... here i come!! whee!!!!!
bikini top..........................check
booty shorts.....................check
indie top...........................check
beach towel......................check
new g's.............................check
xtra under garbs................check
antony & cleo notes...........check
antony & cleo text..............check
hard times notes................check
hard times text..................check
camera.............................check
xtra film roll.......................check
changi beach..... here i come!! whee!!!!!
Monday, June 23, 2003
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
not gonnae say much...
*sniff*
stuck at home with a flu, sore throat, constant headaches & cramps due to the frigging time of the month.
bleearh.
supposed to study today but didn't get anything done.
too tired to get off the sofa.
so miserable.
i hate being sick.
and i can't study!!!!!!
die die die....
argh... STRESS!!!!!!
*pulls hair out*
AH- CHOO!
*sniff*
stuck at home with a flu, sore throat, constant headaches & cramps due to the frigging time of the month.
bleearh.
supposed to study today but didn't get anything done.
too tired to get off the sofa.
so miserable.
i hate being sick.
and i can't study!!!!!!
die die die....
argh... STRESS!!!!!!
*pulls hair out*
AH- CHOO!
Sunday, June 22, 2003
a little time- out...
phew... just came back from town.
the exhaustion is worth it.
accompanied farhana buy her two tops from topshop, [a lil' tongue- twistin' there!]
n decided to lavish myself with a pair of super cute g- strings. haha.
shut up. stop smirking! i can see it!
anyway.
then went to Burger King with farhana n imran.
after much wheedling and dealing, got it my way, [as usual]
and had farhana pay half my meal. hehe. when you're good you're waaaay good man...
so the three of us sat there... chatted.
pretty fun.
at some point of time i just sat back and tried looking at us from an outsider's view...
and we look so... 18.
part- time jobs, cramming for exams, complaining bout the education system, buying things we can't afford, talking about every possible thing under the god damn sunny sun.
and it felt good.
to be young.
to be cramming.
to be shopping!
to be sitting there laughing and bitching and stuffing ourselves fat.
to sing.
to cry.
to whine.
to burst out laughing while drinking and thus soak the person across you...
[yes imran, you do get mentions in my blog. haha.remind me to wait till u finish drinking before telling a joke next time.]
to bash gays. or just the ambassador alone.
to bully poly kids. or kid.
to just be ourselves among people whom we know love us for what we are.
to feel settled and calm and happy and contented and rich though we had a grand total of $1.90 among us.
friendship. i love you, friends...
phew... just came back from town.
the exhaustion is worth it.
accompanied farhana buy her two tops from topshop, [a lil' tongue- twistin' there!]
n decided to lavish myself with a pair of super cute g- strings. haha.
shut up. stop smirking! i can see it!
anyway.
then went to Burger King with farhana n imran.
after much wheedling and dealing, got it my way, [as usual]
and had farhana pay half my meal. hehe. when you're good you're waaaay good man...
so the three of us sat there... chatted.
pretty fun.
at some point of time i just sat back and tried looking at us from an outsider's view...
and we look so... 18.
part- time jobs, cramming for exams, complaining bout the education system, buying things we can't afford, talking about every possible thing under the god damn sunny sun.
and it felt good.
to be young.
to be cramming.
to be shopping!
to be sitting there laughing and bitching and stuffing ourselves fat.
to sing.
to cry.
to whine.
to burst out laughing while drinking and thus soak the person across you...
[yes imran, you do get mentions in my blog. haha.remind me to wait till u finish drinking before telling a joke next time.]
to bash gays. or just the ambassador alone.
to bully poly kids. or kid.
to just be ourselves among people whom we know love us for what we are.
to feel settled and calm and happy and contented and rich though we had a grand total of $1.90 among us.
friendship. i love you, friends...
Friday, June 20, 2003
i believe myself to be free- spirited!
You're No Shoe. You love being barefoot. You love
to be natural and outgoing. Your motto is
life's too short to wear shoes all the time.
What kind of shoe are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
whee!
*chants*
NO SHOES!
NO SHOES!
NO SHOES!
its true. why bother wearing them?
but don't stop me and make me go barefeet if u catch me in town with shoes on ya.
heh.
there's a hypocrite in everyone of us...
*smiles sadly*
You're No Shoe. You love being barefoot. You love
to be natural and outgoing. Your motto is
life's too short to wear shoes all the time.
What kind of shoe are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
whee!
*chants*
NO SHOES!
NO SHOES!
NO SHOES!
its true. why bother wearing them?
but don't stop me and make me go barefeet if u catch me in town with shoes on ya.
heh.
there's a hypocrite in everyone of us...
*smiles sadly*
why is love so important?
or is it, at all?
hmm.
*pondering*
love.
yeurgh. suddenly that sounds so... cheesy.
maybe its the commercial factor that society has tagged onto love.
or the flamboyance of which intimacy is displayed on media.
maybe its the NO knowledge of what it truly is.
people say you FEEL love.
yeah, yeah, yeah. like how men grope women. feel indeedlieh!
why?
why... am i writing this?
people say there's love at first sight. i used to think its just lust.
but i kinda understand now... the whole electric thing. blah.
but it think love is so... UNthere. its liminal. [sorry. bit of goth here.]
its there but not there. it doesn't have a PHYSICAL being.
but u do feel its presence. supposedly.
love is indefinable, illusory, transient, evanescent.
its not... TANGIBLE. like religion. God is there. and not there at the same time.
He is unseen but yet you believe in it.
so to a certain extent love is like a religion.
but how do you believe in love?
eeks. that line itself sounds so cliche.
i guess this entry contradicts the previous. but hey, i cater to the public. heh.
nah... i'm just thinking. love. and all its funny effects.
i'm a cynical and all, but yet i can confidently claim to be in love.
while the most lovelorn of us all often find ourselves star- gazing alone.
why? why do love strike the non- believers?
why is love so important at all? this is so confusing.
does anyone have any idea what LOVE is?
AND WHY THE HELL IS IT SO IMPORTANT?
or is it, at all?
hmm.
*pondering*
love.
yeurgh. suddenly that sounds so... cheesy.
maybe its the commercial factor that society has tagged onto love.
or the flamboyance of which intimacy is displayed on media.
maybe its the NO knowledge of what it truly is.
people say you FEEL love.
yeah, yeah, yeah. like how men grope women. feel indeedlieh!
why?
why... am i writing this?
people say there's love at first sight. i used to think its just lust.
but i kinda understand now... the whole electric thing. blah.
but it think love is so... UNthere. its liminal. [sorry. bit of goth here.]
its there but not there. it doesn't have a PHYSICAL being.
but u do feel its presence. supposedly.
love is indefinable, illusory, transient, evanescent.
its not... TANGIBLE. like religion. God is there. and not there at the same time.
He is unseen but yet you believe in it.
so to a certain extent love is like a religion.
but how do you believe in love?
eeks. that line itself sounds so cliche.
i guess this entry contradicts the previous. but hey, i cater to the public. heh.
nah... i'm just thinking. love. and all its funny effects.
i'm a cynical and all, but yet i can confidently claim to be in love.
while the most lovelorn of us all often find ourselves star- gazing alone.
why? why do love strike the non- believers?
why is love so important at all? this is so confusing.
does anyone have any idea what LOVE is?
AND WHY THE HELL IS IT SO IMPORTANT?
ASHFORD & SIMPSONS- SOLID
And for love's sake
each mistake you forgave
And soon both of us learn to trust
Not run away
it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
solid as a rock
That's what this love is
that's what we've got
Solid
solid as a rock
and nothing changed it
The thrill is still hot
hot
hot hot
hot
hot
hot
hot
You didn't turn away when the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
we had to stay together
you didn't bat an eye when I made you cry
We knew down the line
we would make it better
And for love's sake
each mistake you forgave. . . .
And now it's solid
solid as a rock. . . .
Gone with the wind
Another friend got in between and tried to seperate us
Knock knock on wood
you understood
Love was so new
we did what we had to
And with that feeling we were willing to take a chance
So against all odds we made a start
We got serious
this wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
solid as a rock. . . .
Solid
solid as a rock.
and at the end of the day, that's how love has got to be...
solid. secure. cuz in a world where everything else moves so fast,
u need someone solid to hold on to.
n u need to turn around n thank him every now n then.
cuz just bcuz he's solid doesn't mean he'll b there always.
even rocks disintegrate. love can, too.
but u have to work at it. work, work, work. try n keep trying.
sometimes we try harder to solve other issues instead of trying to make our own relationship work.
maybe its our priorities. or maybe we don't think its important enough.
love doesn't come in an instant. it wouldn't go that way either.
as long as a teeny weeny bit is still there, u can still work on it.
i don't really believe in eternal love. but i believe that it exists.
i think that solid don't necessarily mean eternal.
even if the love lasts for just a second, a minute, or a lifetime, the moment remains precious forever. cuz that's just how love works.
but if you can make the moment last longer, then y not?
love works. true love lasts.
and.
love don't come to everyone... which is why its sad when someone who is loved fail to appreciate the one loving him/ her.
don't let that someone be you.
And for love's sake
each mistake you forgave
And soon both of us learn to trust
Not run away
it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
solid as a rock
That's what this love is
that's what we've got
Solid
solid as a rock
and nothing changed it
The thrill is still hot
hot
hot hot
hot
hot
hot
hot
You didn't turn away when the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
we had to stay together
you didn't bat an eye when I made you cry
We knew down the line
we would make it better
And for love's sake
each mistake you forgave. . . .
And now it's solid
solid as a rock. . . .
Gone with the wind
Another friend got in between and tried to seperate us
Knock knock on wood
you understood
Love was so new
we did what we had to
And with that feeling we were willing to take a chance
So against all odds we made a start
We got serious
this wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
solid as a rock. . . .
Solid
solid as a rock.
and at the end of the day, that's how love has got to be...
solid. secure. cuz in a world where everything else moves so fast,
u need someone solid to hold on to.
n u need to turn around n thank him every now n then.
cuz just bcuz he's solid doesn't mean he'll b there always.
even rocks disintegrate. love can, too.
but u have to work at it. work, work, work. try n keep trying.
sometimes we try harder to solve other issues instead of trying to make our own relationship work.
maybe its our priorities. or maybe we don't think its important enough.
love doesn't come in an instant. it wouldn't go that way either.
as long as a teeny weeny bit is still there, u can still work on it.
i don't really believe in eternal love. but i believe that it exists.
i think that solid don't necessarily mean eternal.
even if the love lasts for just a second, a minute, or a lifetime, the moment remains precious forever. cuz that's just how love works.
but if you can make the moment last longer, then y not?
love works. true love lasts.
and.
love don't come to everyone... which is why its sad when someone who is loved fail to appreciate the one loving him/ her.
don't let that someone be you.
Thursday, June 19, 2003
i'm in finding nemo!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
so fun... i love dory.
sorry if i sound a little mad.
hehe. nemo craze.
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
so fun... i love dory.
sorry if i sound a little mad.
hehe. nemo craze.
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
i've lost it!
i think i've lost my state of mind to study.
i keep procrastinating...
urgh.
no mood for econs...
too bored of russia...
too scared of germany...
aiyah.
die.
*kerplukntz*
MPC= change of C/ change of Y
APC= C/ Y
muahahaha.
just a little revision.
that's probably all i know of economics.
yikes.
i think i've lost my state of mind to study.
i keep procrastinating...
urgh.
no mood for econs...
too bored of russia...
too scared of germany...
aiyah.
die.
*kerplukntz*
MPC= change of C/ change of Y
APC= C/ Y
muahahaha.
just a little revision.
that's probably all i know of economics.
yikes.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
yippee!!!!!!
it'sback!
hah.
bet those geezers @ blogger.com were quacking in their boots.
hah.
got my shout-outs back.
*muahahahahaha*
it'sback!
hah.
bet those geezers @ blogger.com were quacking in their boots.
hah.
got my shout-outs back.
*muahahahahaha*
where the *faugh* did my shout- outs go??!!
*stark raving mad*
hey... where's all my tags? dammit. fuuuuk yuuuuu blogger!
anyone else havin the same problems??
freeeeak it... not like u people can tell me cuz my comment board's friggin' gone!
*rantsandravesandrantsandravesandcusseseverysinglevulgarvocabsheknows*
fuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuu blogger!
*faugh: Can be found in the book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Technically it means f**k. yay.
damnyoufriggingblogspot!
*takes a deep breath*
by the way, i chopped my hair.
whee!
*feels a peculiar sense of satisfaction*
well, i didn't really CHOP it cuz SOMEONE- i'm not gonna mention who you know who he is he is the guy who won't let me cut my hair and the only reason i listen to that is because he is kinda important in my life figured it out yet? no? no it's not my dad no i'm not gonna mention who this hair- fetish someone is cuz there are privacy concerns oh heck its hafiz my boyfriend happy now?- doesn't want me too.
(breathe)
cool? anyway, he wants to see me with long hair cuz i have had it short for eons. time to look like a girl i guess.
it's not really all that short. its just a trim of sorts. ironically i look girlier now.
all this soft curls and whatnots.
oh well.
life's a trade- off.
win some, lose some.
fuuuuuuuk yuuuuuuu blogger.com!
*smiles maniacally*
*stark raving mad*
hey... where's all my tags? dammit. fuuuuk yuuuuu blogger!
anyone else havin the same problems??
freeeeak it... not like u people can tell me cuz my comment board's friggin' gone!
*rantsandravesandrantsandravesandcusseseverysinglevulgarvocabsheknows*
fuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuu blogger!
*faugh: Can be found in the book Dracula by Bram Stoker. Technically it means f**k. yay.
damnyoufriggingblogspot!
*takes a deep breath*
by the way, i chopped my hair.
whee!
*feels a peculiar sense of satisfaction*
well, i didn't really CHOP it cuz SOMEONE- i'm not gonna mention who you know who he is he is the guy who won't let me cut my hair and the only reason i listen to that is because he is kinda important in my life figured it out yet? no? no it's not my dad no i'm not gonna mention who this hair- fetish someone is cuz there are privacy concerns oh heck its hafiz my boyfriend happy now?- doesn't want me too.
(breathe)
cool? anyway, he wants to see me with long hair cuz i have had it short for eons. time to look like a girl i guess.
it's not really all that short. its just a trim of sorts. ironically i look girlier now.
all this soft curls and whatnots.
oh well.
life's a trade- off.
win some, lose some.
fuuuuuuuk yuuuuuuu blogger.com!
*smiles maniacally*
Monday, June 16, 2003
retail therapy yeah baby yeah!
see this is why the world needs science. to give girly madness a name: RETAIL THERAPY.
didn't really cross my mind till i saw it in big, PINK, bold words at scotts. [dang it was close by the time i got there.]
and i realized how apt it is to women. i mean, we want excuses for everything. REALLY. EVERYTHING.
crankiness: PMS
chocolates: ENDORPHINS
being spoilt silly by significant other: WE'RE THE WEAKER SEX
deflating our guy's ego with the snap of our fingers: ITS' THE 21ST CENTURY, BABY. GIRLS HAVE MORE POWER. *muahkhakhakhakha*
you get the idea.
anyway i think retail therapy is perfect. the answer to all my dreams.
why was i shopping today? cuz it's daddy's day, i'm sad, so my mum brought me out to town- and inevitably bought me 2 new tops. WHICH WERE ON SALE.
its now my official excuse to shop till i drop. [or my wallet's empty. whichever comes first.]
ladidadida. father's day was ok. nothing fancy. duh.
i guess after six years you tend to get used to things. but as we all know, all wounds leave a mark.
oh well. if i get sad again there's always retaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllllll therapyyyy. yeah baby.
now that's what i call useful science.
see this is why the world needs science. to give girly madness a name: RETAIL THERAPY.
didn't really cross my mind till i saw it in big, PINK, bold words at scotts. [dang it was close by the time i got there.]
and i realized how apt it is to women. i mean, we want excuses for everything. REALLY. EVERYTHING.
crankiness: PMS
chocolates: ENDORPHINS
being spoilt silly by significant other: WE'RE THE WEAKER SEX
deflating our guy's ego with the snap of our fingers: ITS' THE 21ST CENTURY, BABY. GIRLS HAVE MORE POWER. *muahkhakhakhakha*
you get the idea.
anyway i think retail therapy is perfect. the answer to all my dreams.
why was i shopping today? cuz it's daddy's day, i'm sad, so my mum brought me out to town- and inevitably bought me 2 new tops. WHICH WERE ON SALE.
its now my official excuse to shop till i drop. [or my wallet's empty. whichever comes first.]
ladidadida. father's day was ok. nothing fancy. duh.
i guess after six years you tend to get used to things. but as we all know, all wounds leave a mark.
oh well. if i get sad again there's always retaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllllll therapyyyy. yeah baby.
now that's what i call useful science.
Saturday, June 14, 2003
happy (or not so) fathers' day
when i see fathers' give
their daughters' hand away in marriage
a moment of envy runs through me
knowing that would never be my story.
when i see a dad hugs his daughter
and she shrugs him away in shame
i wish i could tell her to appreciate the moment
as it might never come again.
when someone says goodbye to me
i wave back again so warily
in fear the greeting might be the last
in fear another loved one would go away too fast.
when fathers' day comes around each year
i dread the emptiness and the stab of pain
when i see children giving daddies cards full of words
knowing i can't do the same.
1:51 AM 6/14/2003
when i see fathers' give
their daughters' hand away in marriage
a moment of envy runs through me
knowing that would never be my story.
when i see a dad hugs his daughter
and she shrugs him away in shame
i wish i could tell her to appreciate the moment
as it might never come again.
when someone says goodbye to me
i wave back again so warily
in fear the greeting might be the last
in fear another loved one would go away too fast.
when fathers' day comes around each year
i dread the emptiness and the stab of pain
when i see children giving daddies cards full of words
knowing i can't do the same.
1:51 AM 6/14/2003
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
MOOD TEST ANALYSIS
by: www.colorgenics.com
You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.
You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavor to get what you are looking for.
You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.
For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.
Impressed by the accuracy of these results?
.................YES.
by: www.colorgenics.com
You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.
You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that 'By hook or by crook' you will, by fair means or foul, endeavor to get what you are looking for.
You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.
For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.
Impressed by the accuracy of these results?
.................YES.
in a state of shock
haven't logged on for awhile.. astounded to see so many shout- outs!
haha. thank you friends. you made my blog look so alive. khekhe.
anyway if any1 readin this have no plans for tmr, do come to heerens tmr at 7-ish. [pm]
my friends will b doin some hip- hop performance. n i might be singing. might.
if the original lady is willing to give up her spot that is.
heh. well. we'll see.
life's been rough lately.
for me and everyone else, too, i guess.
read my friends blogs... we all sound so lost. sad. anything but positive.
i admit i feel the same but the fruits on my blog prevent me from writing sad stuff in my blog.
hehe.
but honestly, what's going on?
is it AGE? EXAMS? SCHOOL? RELATIONSHIPS?
so young, so bitter.
sometimes what we want is not what we need.
what we have may not be what we need all along.
what we are... aah. u get the idea.
i feel hollowed- out again. like a tomato skin with nothing in it.
hate it hate it hate it.
at least i ate cheese prata at bkt timah today. but still.
bleuaiourfghtyhygh. hate it hate it hate it.
haven't logged on for awhile.. astounded to see so many shout- outs!
haha. thank you friends. you made my blog look so alive. khekhe.
anyway if any1 readin this have no plans for tmr, do come to heerens tmr at 7-ish. [pm]
my friends will b doin some hip- hop performance. n i might be singing. might.
if the original lady is willing to give up her spot that is.
heh. well. we'll see.
life's been rough lately.
for me and everyone else, too, i guess.
read my friends blogs... we all sound so lost. sad. anything but positive.
i admit i feel the same but the fruits on my blog prevent me from writing sad stuff in my blog.
hehe.
but honestly, what's going on?
is it AGE? EXAMS? SCHOOL? RELATIONSHIPS?
so young, so bitter.
sometimes what we want is not what we need.
what we have may not be what we need all along.
what we are... aah. u get the idea.
i feel hollowed- out again. like a tomato skin with nothing in it.
hate it hate it hate it.
at least i ate cheese prata at bkt timah today. but still.
bleuaiourfghtyhygh. hate it hate it hate it.
Saturday, June 07, 2003
today's itinerary
6.45 a.m.- momentary madness while i chose what to wear for later.
6.50 a.m.- replied hafiz's msg. "i am currently in a dilemma. dunno what to wear!"
6.57 a.m.- realized i had to leave or i'll be late for my SATs.
7.11 a.m.- received hafiz's call. just worried i wasn't out yet- still selecting clothes he thought.
7.25 a.m.- hafiz realized he didn't bring his entrance form.
7.26 a.m.- told him it was fine.'
7.50 a.m.- settled all rubbish SARS screening n got a move on into the classes.
8.30 a.m.- SATs began.
12.15 noon- SATs ended.
12.30 noon- got our free (heavy) lunch from the MALAY LANGUAGE SOCIETY. (p/s: you guys rock!)
1.00 p.m.- made our way to malay classroom to pray n change up.
1.05 p.m.- realized power were switched off for classrooms. came up with a whole new list of vulgarities.
1.15 p.m.- record praying session- janitor was closing up the school already.
2.00 p.m.- left school in the sweltering heat. more cusses.
3.15 p.m.- safely reached ESPLANADE.
3.23 p.m.- walked past Haagen- Daazs cafe/ restaurant. mental note to keep ice- creams in mind.
3.24 p.m.- walked past CHOCOLATE BOX. argh! cue for orgasmic noises. khekhe.
3.27 p.m.- found max brenner's chocolate shop. decided that i wanted more than just plain, old, chocolates.
3.30 p.m.- returned to Haagen- Daazs cafe. took a nice, cosy table.
3.37 p.m.- ordered our CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE FANTASY.... argh! more orgasmic noises!
3.40 p.m.- passed to hafiz the gift i MADE. to commemorate our 6th month together. heh. he liked it. i think. hmm.
4.00 p.m.- fudge was fudgelicious n ice cream was uhmmm!!!! heavenly.
4.10 p.m.- walked around citylink looking for pasta. heh. hungry, hungry...
4.20 p.m.- walked past blackteabox. saw pasta. insisted on seeing other places.
4.25 p.m.- at starbucks coffee. realized there was no pasta elsewhere.
4.27 p.m.- got our cosy table at blackteabox. lovely white paper tablecloth. wasnt' so white by the time we left.
4.30 p.m.- crossed between spaghetti bolognaise or italian meatballs...
4.35 p.m.- ordered my ice lemoned tea n spaghetti bolognaise.
4.40 p.m.- TUCK IN!
5.00 p.m.- paid. well- filled tummy n well- coloured tablecloth.
5.10 p.m.- checked out toys at robinsons- the sale worth waiting for. (its a lie! a lie!)
5.20 p.m.- met bryan bruder. saw some INTERESTING books in mph. hehehe.
5.45 p.m.- paid the loo a much needed visit.
5.55 p.m.- relieved and standing outside starbucks, waiting for the show to begin.
6.00 p.m.- my lit teacher, wooly, performed with his band. rocking good time.
7.00 p.m.- headed home... relieved, delighted, jubilant n high on joy...
in case u were wondering, i did have a fantabulous time. still intoxicated by the euphoric pleasure of it all. kudos to everyone who made today happen. smile.
6.45 a.m.- momentary madness while i chose what to wear for later.
6.50 a.m.- replied hafiz's msg. "i am currently in a dilemma. dunno what to wear!"
6.57 a.m.- realized i had to leave or i'll be late for my SATs.
7.11 a.m.- received hafiz's call. just worried i wasn't out yet- still selecting clothes he thought.
7.25 a.m.- hafiz realized he didn't bring his entrance form.
7.26 a.m.- told him it was fine.'
7.50 a.m.- settled all rubbish SARS screening n got a move on into the classes.
8.30 a.m.- SATs began.
12.15 noon- SATs ended.
12.30 noon- got our free (heavy) lunch from the MALAY LANGUAGE SOCIETY. (p/s: you guys rock!)
1.00 p.m.- made our way to malay classroom to pray n change up.
1.05 p.m.- realized power were switched off for classrooms. came up with a whole new list of vulgarities.
1.15 p.m.- record praying session- janitor was closing up the school already.
2.00 p.m.- left school in the sweltering heat. more cusses.
3.15 p.m.- safely reached ESPLANADE.
3.23 p.m.- walked past Haagen- Daazs cafe/ restaurant. mental note to keep ice- creams in mind.
3.24 p.m.- walked past CHOCOLATE BOX. argh! cue for orgasmic noises. khekhe.
3.27 p.m.- found max brenner's chocolate shop. decided that i wanted more than just plain, old, chocolates.
3.30 p.m.- returned to Haagen- Daazs cafe. took a nice, cosy table.
3.37 p.m.- ordered our CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE FANTASY.... argh! more orgasmic noises!
3.40 p.m.- passed to hafiz the gift i MADE. to commemorate our 6th month together. heh. he liked it. i think. hmm.
4.00 p.m.- fudge was fudgelicious n ice cream was uhmmm!!!! heavenly.
4.10 p.m.- walked around citylink looking for pasta. heh. hungry, hungry...
4.20 p.m.- walked past blackteabox. saw pasta. insisted on seeing other places.
4.25 p.m.- at starbucks coffee. realized there was no pasta elsewhere.
4.27 p.m.- got our cosy table at blackteabox. lovely white paper tablecloth. wasnt' so white by the time we left.
4.30 p.m.- crossed between spaghetti bolognaise or italian meatballs...
4.35 p.m.- ordered my ice lemoned tea n spaghetti bolognaise.
4.40 p.m.- TUCK IN!
5.00 p.m.- paid. well- filled tummy n well- coloured tablecloth.
5.10 p.m.- checked out toys at robinsons- the sale worth waiting for. (its a lie! a lie!)
5.20 p.m.- met bryan bruder. saw some INTERESTING books in mph. hehehe.
5.45 p.m.- paid the loo a much needed visit.
5.55 p.m.- relieved and standing outside starbucks, waiting for the show to begin.
6.00 p.m.- my lit teacher, wooly, performed with his band. rocking good time.
7.00 p.m.- headed home... relieved, delighted, jubilant n high on joy...
in case u were wondering, i did have a fantabulous time. still intoxicated by the euphoric pleasure of it all. kudos to everyone who made today happen. smile.
Friday, June 06, 2003
cried a little before the paper.
stressed out.
thank u friends who showed their care...
sorry to those who got worried.
i'm fine now... just too pent- up.
SMILE!
You're Shirley Manson, you saucy girl.
What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla
stressed out.
thank u friends who showed their care...
sorry to those who got worried.
i'm fine now... just too pent- up.
SMILE!
You're Shirley Manson, you saucy girl.
What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, June 05, 2003
hail me!
You are a goddess!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
funnily enough i was just telling my significant other this morning.... that "in a parallel universe, i am the goddess of night and i do not wake up." clearly, i slept late.
oh well.
lately i feel a little lost. though some would think its exam stress and what- nots, let me clear the air n state that its not the exams.
i've got THAT figured out.
but its something else. deeper, more spiritual.
or maybe i'm just sleepy.
or in need of chocolate cake.
i'm getting the cake dis saturday... we'll see if i make progress thereafter, eh?
You are a goddess!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
funnily enough i was just telling my significant other this morning.... that "in a parallel universe, i am the goddess of night and i do not wake up." clearly, i slept late.
oh well.
lately i feel a little lost. though some would think its exam stress and what- nots, let me clear the air n state that its not the exams.
i've got THAT figured out.
but its something else. deeper, more spiritual.
or maybe i'm just sleepy.
or in need of chocolate cake.
i'm getting the cake dis saturday... we'll see if i make progress thereafter, eh?
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
holding hands
before twenty fingers are interlinked
two souls must first intertwine.
which was exactly what i believed, our souls must have did,
before our palms were met in time.
lip to lip may mean a kiss
but a palm as one means bliss.
a kiss can be seen, as temptation's open door,
but two palms grasped together grasps more.
nothing of physical, not of the flesh
but one of emotional, security at best.
fingers interwoven, like the weaves of a basket,
linked loose but firm together, linked not by chance but fate.
two different souls are constantly overlapping
each destined for the other's holding.
two souls as one, like yours and mine,
two souls as one, like ours.
i'll be celebrating with my dear truffles this saturday... we have been together for almost half a year. funny how time flies when you're in love.
you kinda forget exams are coming, too.
which is sometimes, a good thing.
i remember the days when our relationship was so unstable... the insecurities. the pangs of jealousy. the uncertainness.
when the mention of imran sent shivers down the spine of our then- weak relationship.
and now.
how i smile when i remember him. how warm i feel when i think of us.
i remember the days when i just broke up with imran. i thought my heart would never heal.
i remembered when hafiz was confused between two girls, none being ME. not like i wanted to be one of them then.
how i helped him. how he helped me forget imran. how he joined me in bitching about mr. heartbreaker.
how guilty i felt to be the one to tell him the girl he waited almost a year for was already attached.
and to think days before i suggested him a place to have dinner with the girl in mention.
how guilty i felt when i could sense the tears thru his msgs.
when i saw him the next day, to think i had caused him such pain was harrowing.
how i tried so hard to cheer him up since that day.
how towards the end of the fasting month, i was wishing that he would just see me.
waiting. how anxious i was to know if he would make up his mind on who he likes.
whether he was over the attached, or now going for the other one.
how delighted i was to receive his confession that ''i'm kinda falling for u oreadi.... but i'm still confused... about nadia... and... mai.''
how i took a deep breath before i replied that it didn't matter who he chose, ''i'll still be ur good fren.''
which is true in a way, as i was happy just to know that at least he liked me. no matter how little.
at the same time, i wish he would realize that i really, truly cared.
how the day seemed to be so beautiful when he told me he ''kinda miss u oreadi..''
and when he msged me ''good nite then, fiza... i miss u.
the sun shone so much brighter the next day. all cuddled in my quilt, a msg greeting me a good morning ''sayang''...
no one would ever know how long i actually waited. how much i actually liked him, even when i was attached.
even when we were friends.
but now you know.
so keep it to yourself.
if you're not in love or just fall out of it or not in the mood for it, take heart in knowing i was once like you. for a very long time...