I am solitary by choice, not circumstances.
I have friends, I'm not lonely.
I have love, I do have a heart.
I can be cold, I am made to be stronger than most.
I can be quiet, I was born to be the only child.
I can be funny and loud, I was taught to always have fun.
I can be anything I want to be. Only because I can.
Hana
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
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New York III
New York IV
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Melbourne I
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Melbourne III
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Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
Mr. Udders
Maya's Baked Goodies
Nazri
Nadiah
Laremy the Cow
Aida
Ruz
Ed Koh
Travels
New York I
New York II
New York III
New York IV
New York V
Melbourne I
Melbourne II
Melbourne III
Melbourne IV
Melbourne V
Liverpool
London
Paris
Lisbon
Barcelona
Fez
Milan
Pisa
Rome
Rome/ Vatican/ Venice
Venice/ Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Amsterdam
Europe In Lomo
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Bituwin -
Blogskin
Edited by Yours Truly.
Blog Title is E.B. White's famous words, rephrased.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Tommy Page
A Shoulder To Cry On
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
especially for a friend in need of a shoulder to cry on...
and for any other friends who thinks i am gone... i'm not.
life is full of crossroads and decisions. just live it. don't get too busy with being sad.
happiness is lying round the corner. just grab the courage to make that turn....
A Shoulder To Cry On
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
especially for a friend in need of a shoulder to cry on...
and for any other friends who thinks i am gone... i'm not.
life is full of crossroads and decisions. just live it. don't get too busy with being sad.
happiness is lying round the corner. just grab the courage to make that turn....
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
what can i say today?
hey... been a while ain't it?
been busy. school has a way of sucking up your energy.
and life.
beginning to feel the pressure but not acting on it.
bubble, bubble, toil and trouble!
fire burns and couldron bubbles!
ho- hum.
caught the matrix on monday. [i did say i was busy.]
pretty cool stuff.
so. today.
ran a little. talked a little. fought a little. cried a little.
life- so little.
"a race so long yet idly ran.
before you know it, there it ends.
no words or speech, no grand farewell.
just blood and tears and the echoes of hell."
enjoy life while it exists- without life, you'd be dead.
think about it.
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and
compassion.
What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, May 23, 2003
not my favourite BEATLE but oh well...
You're John Lennon!
Which Beatle Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i would rather ringo or paul but oh well. lennon's cool. but he WAS assasinated. do you blame me for my reluctance?
oh well. at least i'm a beatle.
i feel better than i've felt in days.
hmm hmm... maybe the heat is pretty bearable afterall.
i guess wednesday and thursday was due to tuesday's extreme heat.
singapore was at its personal best, a 35.9 Deg. C. its highest in five years. whoa momma~~
no wonder anger was on the rise too.
maybe now that the heatwave is lowering we can all learn to love and live a little eh??
smile....
oh just for laughs... here's another quiz i took. i think the picture is funny. a little.
Hey you are the pencil sharpener shaped as a
nose!!! You've learned the hard way that you
can't sharpen a pencil by sticking it up your
nose. (Kids, trust us, it just doesn't work.)
So here's the next best thing... a pencil sharpener
shaped like a nose. Just stick your pencil up
the right nostril and give it a few twists.
You'll get a nice, sharp pencil and a weird
sense of satisfaction that you don't quite
understand.
What random stupid yet fun thing are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, May 22, 2003
more bitterness in the air...
is it just me or is everyone crankier and angrier lately?
i blame it on the heat.
we need a dip in cool waters.
everyone is becoming cranky and touchy.
especially me i guess.
hmm.
n i am beginning to feel a sense of... i dunno.
i think lately when i'm with hafiz i tend to have an out- of - body experience.
i dunno what's wrong really. but i think that pretty much sums it.
i feel distant. sometimes i feel like we're strangers.
is this still due to heat?
maybe i'm exuding more negative aura due to all this heat.
to be honest, it has been more than one moment when i felt that there's nothing within me for hafiz.
no love, care, like etc.
before all u hafiz- advocates start yelling please listen to me... i don't hate him.
he is still my boyfriend.
but sometimes i feel very flat. like a balloon that was very inflated........
and now has all the air sucked out of it.
FLAT.
help.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
radical, radical day...
had a horrid huge argument with hafiz.
bleurgh.
glad its over. but it was yucky while it lasted.
such a minor issue. sigh.
anyway the toe doesn't hurt anymore actually.
unless i step on it too hard or stretch it.
then i can feel the hole like, widening or something.
er, i hope i'm not grossing anyone out.
anyway school's been really exhausting.
stoopid a levels.
n i've got a thousand backlogs.
homeworks, essays, assignments... its like the list never ends.
wonder if i can just run away and escape from it all.
the race has begun and there is simply no way out.
it's either i run as fast as the rest or i slow down and never reach the finishing line...
pissy, pissy, pissy situation.
no questions bout what i have to do.
but i hate running... i don't like the speed of it all.
i want to slow down.
but i can't. cuz i'll get stampeded...
whaaaaaarghh!!!
btw bruder, i meant funny as in weird. all hollow-y and stuff. khekhekhe. sorry didn't talk much today... shit happens. heh.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
holey holey holey... holey in my toe!!
haha. its' official... i have a hole in my toe.
apparently the toe had a viral infection or something.
grew into some weird growth thing.
doesn't sound as bad as u think it is.
but now there's a hole in my toe.
a puncture, a perforation, an aperture.
haha. i think i'm high from the alcohol and the numbness in my toe.
but i'll live i guess.
quite fun actually. haha. can skip physical education stuff and walk in sandals.
whoopee!
btw bruder if u read this, I MISSED YOU TODAY!!!! skul's funny widout u. heh.
better come tmr arh....
Sunday, May 18, 2003
life's little pleasures...
morning.
a beautiful sunshine. showered and soaped myself with baby bvlgari shower gel.
felt yummy and sunshiney.
set off to meet my special someone to go grocery shopping.
he came over after shopping for milk and mushrooms and made me and my mum omelettes.
yummyyyy.
think i ate an entire plantation of mushrooms.
but it was fun n pretty disastrous working with him in the kitchen.
we ended up lighting all three stoves and used two pans.
there was a point of time where 1] the egg was ready to be transferred from pan 1 to pan 2 and 2] the microwave had finished heating up something and went 'TING!' and 3] the kettle had boiled and was whistling like a train conductor. and allllllllll at the same time.
i wasn't exaggerating when i said it was pretty disastrous. i might have been understating it though.
haha. but the end result was fantastic. homemade breakfast with my boyfriend at my breakfast counter and sipping cold, icy coke.
nirvana.
noon.
had college day. didn't turn out half as bad as i thought it would be.
helped that one of the choirboys was wanking. i'm not kidding. he was moving very vigorously while the rest stood so still.
my friends and i had a great time laughing at our principal's speech. what an embarrassment. he actually called our previous campus 'holy'. i think he meant and said something else but that was how he pronounced it. good lord.
and he pronounced 'similes' as 'similars'. i swear i'm not lying. he IS a college principal.
that was fun.
evening.
ate strawberry swirl cheesecake. delicious...
laughed with my pallys, bryan, shah n fahrur aka the mutant. haha. funny people.
spent most of the rest of the evening cursing imran for being late.
that was fun too. especially the part when shahira yelled at imran and started hitting him.
night.
met some friends and some freakos. haha. freakos being ivan, andrew and ashik. handsome, but freakos just the same.
hung out with farhana after not seeing her for weeks. ate at burger king. i swear i gained 5 kg todae.
walked around town aimlessly... people- watched and moon- watched.
then we walked all the way from far east to istana park. where we just sat and... rested.
like, really rest. we just went quiet and dipped our feet into the cool waters. so what if we're not supposed to?
the dim lights, the distant noise of traffic =, the full moon and the water elements... it all made us so relaxed... we were transported out of singapore.
it felt gratifying to dip our toes into the cool waters. to watch the moon. to just think back on our 6 years as friends.
talked a little, and then some.
morning.
a beautiful sunshine. showered and soaped myself with baby bvlgari shower gel.
felt yummy and sunshiney.
set off to meet my special someone to go grocery shopping.
he came over after shopping for milk and mushrooms and made me and my mum omelettes.
yummyyyy.
think i ate an entire plantation of mushrooms.
but it was fun n pretty disastrous working with him in the kitchen.
we ended up lighting all three stoves and used two pans.
there was a point of time where 1] the egg was ready to be transferred from pan 1 to pan 2 and 2] the microwave had finished heating up something and went 'TING!' and 3] the kettle had boiled and was whistling like a train conductor. and allllllllll at the same time.
i wasn't exaggerating when i said it was pretty disastrous. i might have been understating it though.
haha. but the end result was fantastic. homemade breakfast with my boyfriend at my breakfast counter and sipping cold, icy coke.
nirvana.
noon.
had college day. didn't turn out half as bad as i thought it would be.
helped that one of the choirboys was wanking. i'm not kidding. he was moving very vigorously while the rest stood so still.
my friends and i had a great time laughing at our principal's speech. what an embarrassment. he actually called our previous campus 'holy'. i think he meant and said something else but that was how he pronounced it. good lord.
and he pronounced 'similes' as 'similars'. i swear i'm not lying. he IS a college principal.
that was fun.
evening.
ate strawberry swirl cheesecake. delicious...
laughed with my pallys, bryan, shah n fahrur aka the mutant. haha. funny people.
spent most of the rest of the evening cursing imran for being late.
that was fun too. especially the part when shahira yelled at imran and started hitting him.
night.
met some friends and some freakos. haha. freakos being ivan, andrew and ashik. handsome, but freakos just the same.
hung out with farhana after not seeing her for weeks. ate at burger king. i swear i gained 5 kg todae.
walked around town aimlessly... people- watched and moon- watched.
then we walked all the way from far east to istana park. where we just sat and... rested.
like, really rest. we just went quiet and dipped our feet into the cool waters. so what if we're not supposed to?
the dim lights, the distant noise of traffic =, the full moon and the water elements... it all made us so relaxed... we were transported out of singapore.
it felt gratifying to dip our toes into the cool waters. to watch the moon. to just think back on our 6 years as friends.
talked a little, and then some.
Friday, May 16, 2003
this song i heard three years ago created the mindset i have on what a prom should be.
its sad, mellow, painfully honest and... to me, it defines what a prom truly is.
Prom Theme
By: Fountains Of Wayne
Here we are at last
The moment soon will pass
We'll go our separate ways
We'll vanish in the haze
We'll never be the same
We'll forget each other's names
We'll grow old and lose our hair
It's all downhill from there
But tonight we'll reach the stars
We'll rent expensive cars
And dream our dreams
Of a perfect night
And we'll sing our prom theme
Here we are at last
We're running out of gas
The air is getting thick
The girls are feeling sick
We'll pass out on the beach
Our keys just out of reach
And soon we'll say goodbye
Then we'll work until we die
But tonight we feel like we're stars
We'll play our air guitars
Cause we're eighteen
It's a perfect night
To sing our prom theme
at the end of it all, its not about looking beautiful or having dates. its about leaving a chapter of your life and entering another. its about celebrating with people whom you have been through so much with. its about being young and capable of anything in the world. anything we want to be. cuz we are eighteen.
its sad, mellow, painfully honest and... to me, it defines what a prom truly is.
Prom Theme
By: Fountains Of Wayne
Here we are at last
The moment soon will pass
We'll go our separate ways
We'll vanish in the haze
We'll never be the same
We'll forget each other's names
We'll grow old and lose our hair
It's all downhill from there
But tonight we'll reach the stars
We'll rent expensive cars
And dream our dreams
Of a perfect night
And we'll sing our prom theme
Here we are at last
We're running out of gas
The air is getting thick
The girls are feeling sick
We'll pass out on the beach
Our keys just out of reach
And soon we'll say goodbye
Then we'll work until we die
But tonight we feel like we're stars
We'll play our air guitars
Cause we're eighteen
It's a perfect night
To sing our prom theme
at the end of it all, its not about looking beautiful or having dates. its about leaving a chapter of your life and entering another. its about celebrating with people whom you have been through so much with. its about being young and capable of anything in the world. anything we want to be. cuz we are eighteen.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
JUVENTUS!
JUVENTUS!
JUVENTUS!
I LOVE JUVENTUS!
12' Trezeguet
43' Piero
72' Nedved
WHOOHOO!!!! Game isn't over yet but it might as well be!!!! yeah JUVE!!!!! you rock!!!
haha. so much for real winning. i shall never be a punter.. wait!
oh damn. they just substituted trezeguet... oh well. he played well..... hehe.
btw i just realized why i like trezeguet so much. or is it why i like fahrur razi so much?
oh weell.. anyway they just look like each other. 'cept razi's more tanned. n he plays basketball.
oh well... cute people.
I LOVE JUVENTUS!!!
JUVENTUS!
JUVENTUS!
I LOVE JUVENTUS!
12' Trezeguet
43' Piero
72' Nedved
WHOOHOO!!!! Game isn't over yet but it might as well be!!!! yeah JUVE!!!!! you rock!!!
haha. so much for real winning. i shall never be a punter.. wait!
oh damn. they just substituted trezeguet... oh well. he played well..... hehe.
btw i just realized why i like trezeguet so much. or is it why i like fahrur razi so much?
oh weell.. anyway they just look like each other. 'cept razi's more tanned. n he plays basketball.
oh well... cute people.
I LOVE JUVENTUS!!!
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
jenna moraSCUMBAG, david "hottie" trezeguet and Vesak day.
this season of survivor was totally anti- climatic.
jenna won. JENNA! wat the hell is she gonnae do wid the money ei?
buy some swimsuits? get a new ZETA sweatshirt cuz the original was burnt in the fire?
oh no, u can't buy that, that was an HEIRLOOM. heirloom, for crikey's sake. you wouldn't know an heirloom if u stepped on one u dimwit.
jenna. god. she said BEAUTY was a handicap. how PROFOUND you nitwit. keep pouting your way through life- maybe you'll win a sponsorship for maybelline.
heiDDi. "my athleticism and intelligence." whuh? intelligence? u got bitten by a SPIDER, not a "big buggy thing." oh no, that was just "strategy." yeah rite. you sure didn't have to do much to potray that dumb bimbo role.
intelligence. "i can't show them i'm smart, they'll feel threatened." GOD. you are a GYM teacher, heidi. quit givng yourself such great credit will ya.
how did your family react to your stripping? "oh they weren't proud of it but i'm ok." they were ashamed, you silly nincompoop. all that education and feeding and you stripped for chocolate and peanut butter. lord save the world.
which reminds me. jenna, didn't you call deena a ''fat pig''? was that before or after you stripped for choc n peanut butter?
"oh i couldn't help it. i was soooo hungrrry." rite.
these programmes are so depressing. what's worse is its so addictive.
oh forget them.
anyway, juventus vs real madrid game tonight. or tomorrow morning at 2:35 a.m. must watch!
real plays an exciting game while trezeguet would do wonders in keepin me awake. =p.
my odds are on real to win. think it'll be a close fight.
anyway, tomorrow's vesak day. meaning a holiday with loads of homework and school stuff to do.
sigh. happy vesak day anyway.
oh, n happy birthday to hafiz's sister. tho she doesn't really know me. haha.
think tomorrow can turn out ok. as long as school stays out of my mind. hehe.
nightos.
this season of survivor was totally anti- climatic.
jenna won. JENNA! wat the hell is she gonnae do wid the money ei?
buy some swimsuits? get a new ZETA sweatshirt cuz the original was burnt in the fire?
oh no, u can't buy that, that was an HEIRLOOM. heirloom, for crikey's sake. you wouldn't know an heirloom if u stepped on one u dimwit.
jenna. god. she said BEAUTY was a handicap. how PROFOUND you nitwit. keep pouting your way through life- maybe you'll win a sponsorship for maybelline.
heiDDi. "my athleticism and intelligence." whuh? intelligence? u got bitten by a SPIDER, not a "big buggy thing." oh no, that was just "strategy." yeah rite. you sure didn't have to do much to potray that dumb bimbo role.
intelligence. "i can't show them i'm smart, they'll feel threatened." GOD. you are a GYM teacher, heidi. quit givng yourself such great credit will ya.
how did your family react to your stripping? "oh they weren't proud of it but i'm ok." they were ashamed, you silly nincompoop. all that education and feeding and you stripped for chocolate and peanut butter. lord save the world.
which reminds me. jenna, didn't you call deena a ''fat pig''? was that before or after you stripped for choc n peanut butter?
"oh i couldn't help it. i was soooo hungrrry." rite.
these programmes are so depressing. what's worse is its so addictive.
oh forget them.
anyway, juventus vs real madrid game tonight. or tomorrow morning at 2:35 a.m. must watch!
real plays an exciting game while trezeguet would do wonders in keepin me awake. =p.
my odds are on real to win. think it'll be a close fight.
anyway, tomorrow's vesak day. meaning a holiday with loads of homework and school stuff to do.
sigh. happy vesak day anyway.
oh, n happy birthday to hafiz's sister. tho she doesn't really know me. haha.
think tomorrow can turn out ok. as long as school stays out of my mind. hehe.
nightos.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
fuzzy, groggy, woozy, dizzy, befuddled, hazy, muzy, shakey, dopey, punchy.
heh. feelin all of the above. i've been drugged!
by a professional doctor. sigh.
school is getting horribly dreary.
we were yelled at this morning for not being able to find our seats in the auditorium. which has 600 seats to fit in 720 students.
last week, there was alot of fuss and chaos about plates not being placed into their respective bins and just left on the tables.
apparently, there are 42 surveillance cameras watching us everyday.
so if you leave your cutleries lying around they will playback the vid to find out who it was.
they caught someone leaving behind his/ her plate last week, on camera.
apparently this being was wearing a black sweater.
notice the irony- its a BLACK AND WHITE camera. sigh.
the principal barged into the canteen and started questioning every possible guy or girl wearing a black sweater.
dumb or what.
sigh.
i'm beginning to feel imprisoned. bounded. caged. ensnared. restricted. subjugated.
i'm constantly being watched. under surveyance. i'm beginning to feel like a character from Matrix: Reloaded.
simply batteries providing energy to keep society in smooth- running.
stupid school. killing my brain cells.
heh. feelin all of the above. i've been drugged!
by a professional doctor. sigh.
school is getting horribly dreary.
we were yelled at this morning for not being able to find our seats in the auditorium. which has 600 seats to fit in 720 students.
last week, there was alot of fuss and chaos about plates not being placed into their respective bins and just left on the tables.
apparently, there are 42 surveillance cameras watching us everyday.
so if you leave your cutleries lying around they will playback the vid to find out who it was.
they caught someone leaving behind his/ her plate last week, on camera.
apparently this being was wearing a black sweater.
notice the irony- its a BLACK AND WHITE camera. sigh.
the principal barged into the canteen and started questioning every possible guy or girl wearing a black sweater.
dumb or what.
sigh.
i'm beginning to feel imprisoned. bounded. caged. ensnared. restricted. subjugated.
i'm constantly being watched. under surveyance. i'm beginning to feel like a character from Matrix: Reloaded.
simply batteries providing energy to keep society in smooth- running.
stupid school. killing my brain cells.
about gays, cuties, and whatnots. oh, mother's day, too.
gays.
well i know some. and there was an article in the malay papers today about gays among the malay society.
they said there was no cure. no natural formula to 'cure' gays.
but my friend the bisexual says there is, its up to the individual if they want to change or not.
guess that goes for most things in life.
wonder why he [my friend] wouldn't want to change though. sigh. oh well.
cuties.
met my ex- crush in town... n WOO- HOO! is someone lookin hot now...
he actually grabbed my hand and shook it like we just agreed on a business deal... wait, i can think of a very satisfying deal for us right now.... hmm. heh. ah well forget it!
anyway, he was smiling like, erm... well, smiling like he was very happy to see me.
we had something a while back but we never really got it on...
and since the first thing i mentioned within seconds of conversation was my BF, we might never get it on now i guess. heh. NOT LIKE I HAVE ANY REGRETS. NO, I'M NOT DIRECTING THIS TO YOU, HAFIZ. hahaha.
anyway. he gave me his new number. sigh. an olive branch. or was it a consolation? watever.
so... yeah. that's cutie one.
cutie two was yesterday. [wait, if its yesterday, shouldn't he be cutie one since he came first? but i knew my ex- crush since 1998. ho- hum.]
me n izal were chatting at starbucks n he was askin me bout some guy i met at anakmelayu.com.
if i liked the guy or something. ho, ho, ho. yes hafiz, hold your breath. haha.
anyway he was like, "so are u interested in [mumble, mumble, mumble].....?"
before that we had noticed dis cute barrista boy workin there.
so i looked in the direction of cute barrista boy n was like, "hmm.." and izal was like, "the o'brien boy u dolt!"
or something like dat. haha. i swear for a split second i really thought he was asking me if i thot the cutie was hot. hahaha.
sorry izal, sorry boyfriend. hehe.
cutie three was yesterday too. [my brain's workin backwards. hey, at least its workin.]
at this family gathering thingy... my cousin brought his poly friends.. n one of them had this highlights in his hair n was quite a looker.
he offered me his 'rendang' cuz i wasn't eating when he was. haha. rendang is a meat thing, for u non- malays. nice stuff.
oh well. so there goes three cuties. blew past me like a HURRicane. [a05 peeps will get dis joke.]
but that's only cuz i'm already hitched up to cutie of the year... haha.
that's what i called my current bf last year. gee. twilight zone.
mother's day.
had fun... took pics n stuff. we looked like tourists n were chatted up by the cutest ang mohs. haha. overdose of cuties in one blog entry. heh.
she liked my gift. she cried when she read my card. she broke up with her bf yesterday... sigh.
called my ex. one of the many. he ran- away from home. whoopee doo.
so yeah.
life in a nutshell.
click here to see my hottest cutie!!
http://sg.photos.yahoo.com/bc/byst_85/vwp?.dir=/First&.src=ph&.dnm=Couple.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//sg.photos.yahoo.com/bc/byst_85/lst%3f%26.dir=/First%26.src=ph%26.view=t
gays.
well i know some. and there was an article in the malay papers today about gays among the malay society.
they said there was no cure. no natural formula to 'cure' gays.
but my friend the bisexual says there is, its up to the individual if they want to change or not.
guess that goes for most things in life.
wonder why he [my friend] wouldn't want to change though. sigh. oh well.
cuties.
met my ex- crush in town... n WOO- HOO! is someone lookin hot now...
he actually grabbed my hand and shook it like we just agreed on a business deal... wait, i can think of a very satisfying deal for us right now.... hmm. heh. ah well forget it!
anyway, he was smiling like, erm... well, smiling like he was very happy to see me.
we had something a while back but we never really got it on...
and since the first thing i mentioned within seconds of conversation was my BF, we might never get it on now i guess. heh. NOT LIKE I HAVE ANY REGRETS. NO, I'M NOT DIRECTING THIS TO YOU, HAFIZ. hahaha.
anyway. he gave me his new number. sigh. an olive branch. or was it a consolation? watever.
so... yeah. that's cutie one.
cutie two was yesterday. [wait, if its yesterday, shouldn't he be cutie one since he came first? but i knew my ex- crush since 1998. ho- hum.]
me n izal were chatting at starbucks n he was askin me bout some guy i met at anakmelayu.com.
if i liked the guy or something. ho, ho, ho. yes hafiz, hold your breath. haha.
anyway he was like, "so are u interested in [mumble, mumble, mumble].....?"
before that we had noticed dis cute barrista boy workin there.
so i looked in the direction of cute barrista boy n was like, "hmm.." and izal was like, "the o'brien boy u dolt!"
or something like dat. haha. i swear for a split second i really thought he was asking me if i thot the cutie was hot. hahaha.
sorry izal, sorry boyfriend. hehe.
cutie three was yesterday too. [my brain's workin backwards. hey, at least its workin.]
at this family gathering thingy... my cousin brought his poly friends.. n one of them had this highlights in his hair n was quite a looker.
he offered me his 'rendang' cuz i wasn't eating when he was. haha. rendang is a meat thing, for u non- malays. nice stuff.
oh well. so there goes three cuties. blew past me like a HURRicane. [a05 peeps will get dis joke.]
but that's only cuz i'm already hitched up to cutie of the year... haha.
that's what i called my current bf last year. gee. twilight zone.
mother's day.
had fun... took pics n stuff. we looked like tourists n were chatted up by the cutest ang mohs. haha. overdose of cuties in one blog entry. heh.
she liked my gift. she cried when she read my card. she broke up with her bf yesterday... sigh.
called my ex. one of the many. he ran- away from home. whoopee doo.
so yeah.
life in a nutshell.
click here to see my hottest cutie!!
http://sg.photos.yahoo.com/bc/byst_85/vwp?.dir=/First&.src=ph&.dnm=Couple.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//sg.photos.yahoo.com/bc/byst_85/lst%3f%26.dir=/First%26.src=ph%26.view=t
Saturday, May 10, 2003
ME? PERFECT? SAME BREATH...? no way.......
i guess the traits are there... loving, tomboyish, being silly, hanging out with boyfriend's friends... happy to be with my boyfriend...
sigh.
but that doesn't mean its the PERFECT GIRLFRIEND!
let's just see if my boyfriend agrees. and his friends. heh.
i guess the traits are there... loving, tomboyish, being silly, hanging out with boyfriend's friends... happy to be with my boyfriend...
sigh.
but that doesn't mean its the PERFECT GIRLFRIEND!
let's just see if my boyfriend agrees. and his friends. heh.
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, May 09, 2003
Its been five glorious months.
month. 30 or 31 days.
day. 24 hours.
hour. 60 minutes.
minute. 60 seconds.
you wonder how its possible to be with someone for so long. 13 046 400 seconds.
you'll think you'll be sick of him.
and then there comes the day when you don't see him for only about an hour less than usual and you miss him already.
everything becomes wrong. you become disoriented.
then you know why 13 046 400 seconds isn't long.
and why 5 months seems so fast.
cuz an entire day lost is barely counted
but a second ticked by is all so precious.
month. 30 or 31 days.
day. 24 hours.
hour. 60 minutes.
minute. 60 seconds.
you wonder how its possible to be with someone for so long. 13 046 400 seconds.
you'll think you'll be sick of him.
and then there comes the day when you don't see him for only about an hour less than usual and you miss him already.
everything becomes wrong. you become disoriented.
then you know why 13 046 400 seconds isn't long.
and why 5 months seems so fast.
cuz an entire day lost is barely counted
but a second ticked by is all so precious.
Monday, May 05, 2003
my story- a tribute to my life
nothing much to complain
nothing much to say
just feeling some little pain
which i'll try to write down in what little words that i may.
nothing much to explain
just emotions rushing through my veins
thoughts escaping through the leaks in my brain
oozing from my fingers- slipping from my grip
hitting myself as i write all this
exposing to the world my vulnerability
showing to the world the weaknesses in me.
sensing the hollowness echoing within
feeling the pain but not knowing its origin
liquid on my cheeks- is this what u call tears?
throbbing beat as i sleep- that's what i call fear.
squinting eyes as i read all these
trying to tap on the emotions that inspires me
pushing and pushing trying to keep people at bay
running and running
please take it all away.
nothing much to complain
nothing much to say
just feeling some little pain
which i'll try to write down in what little words that i may.
nothing much to explain
just emotions rushing through my veins
thoughts escaping through the leaks in my brain
oozing from my fingers- slipping from my grip
hitting myself as i write all this
exposing to the world my vulnerability
showing to the world the weaknesses in me.
sensing the hollowness echoing within
feeling the pain but not knowing its origin
liquid on my cheeks- is this what u call tears?
throbbing beat as i sleep- that's what i call fear.
squinting eyes as i read all these
trying to tap on the emotions that inspires me
pushing and pushing trying to keep people at bay
running and running
please take it all away.
Saturday, May 03, 2003
FATHER OF THE BRIDE
did u watch it?
it was supposed to be funny.
another steve martin comedy.
but i found myself crying towards the end.
cuz i wud never have a father sending me off.
no father witnessing my wedding.
no father looking at me smiling as my husband takes my hand.
no father to say goodbye to.
no father who would fret about his little girl who is all grown- up and getting married.
no father. period.
that really hurts.
did u watch it?
it was supposed to be funny.
another steve martin comedy.
but i found myself crying towards the end.
cuz i wud never have a father sending me off.
no father witnessing my wedding.
no father looking at me smiling as my husband takes my hand.
no father to say goodbye to.
no father who would fret about his little girl who is all grown- up and getting married.
no father. period.
that really hurts.
WHO TO IMPRESS; A PROM DRESS ISSUE.
saw a great, great dress last night.
looks fantabulous. i never felt more beautiful.
but i have a problem.
will it impress?
will it make heads turn?
yes. i aim to impress majority this Grad Nite.
but. how?
sexy? princess-y? girly? sweet? vampy?
argh...
will i be outdressed?
see, this is why i hate proms.
i've kinda forgot along the way but it's all coming back to me now.
the bitter vengeance and the competitive aura surrounding it.
urgh.
the GIRL MODE it brings me into.
sigh.
black? white? lilac? short? long? v? backless?
arghhhh.......
saw a great, great dress last night.
looks fantabulous. i never felt more beautiful.
but i have a problem.
will it impress?
will it make heads turn?
yes. i aim to impress majority this Grad Nite.
but. how?
sexy? princess-y? girly? sweet? vampy?
argh...
will i be outdressed?
see, this is why i hate proms.
i've kinda forgot along the way but it's all coming back to me now.
the bitter vengeance and the competitive aura surrounding it.
urgh.
the GIRL MODE it brings me into.
sigh.
black? white? lilac? short? long? v? backless?
arghhhh.......
Thursday, May 01, 2003
across the sea... i had a dream...
well, well, well.
as far as confusing dreams go, this one is tops.
check this out.
i dreamt last night.....
that i was still attached to hafiz.
and i was still good friends with imran.
so far, so good.
then it seemed like EVERYTIME we got bored we'll hang out.
me n imran, dat is.
hmm.
then one day i was like, in the neighbourhood or something n i went to his flat n just walked around, not knowing what to do.
then i saw him, at the void deck, msging someone from his phone and walking towards the bus- stop.
i approached him n asked where he was heading.
he looked surprised n replied, i was goin to meet u. i was msging u.
we both just stared at each other. it was pretty warped. like we both wanted to meet each other n met without knowing it.
then we hugged. awkwardly.
n i was like, im, wat's goin on here?
n he was, i dunno, i really dunno.
but we just sat n hugged like it was the rightest thing to do.
n we somehow came to the conclusion we sorta still had feelings but i wasn't sure.
he said something like, there must be something between us if everytime we feel bored, like something's missing, we meet up.
[i think this was more like what he feels than what i feel. cuz i dun feel like something's missing before i meet him or anything. in reality. n in the dream.]
i just kept quiet. but we were still holding each other.
it was all weird.
for those who know me well enough, this dream might have been pretty much predictable. so far.
then entered the shocker.
apparently what occured with imran was over the weekend.
so this is now monday, and we're all in school.
i was sitting on the floor somewhere, and there was this guy sitting on a chair right next to me.
ashik.
[he is a friend of mine, but more of a good friend of hafiz- in reality.]
if the fact that he was in my dream isn't shocking enough, read on.
he then bent down a little n hugged me. [i just realized the constant theme of hugging here.]
he kinda put his arms around me n went, i'm sorry i didn't get to call or msg u over the weekend. something cropped up.
weirdly, it felt good to have his arms around me. whuh?
and when he said what he said, i remembered that i did try contacting him over the weekend. more whuh?
i told him it was ok, but part of me felt guilty for the fact that i met imran instead over the weekend and had some sparks-ish thing with him.
i decided not to tell him. about the imran thing.
weirdly enough, throughout all this, i was supposedly still attached to hafiz. whuh...
confused?
join the club.
dreams are just dreams to me. but this one hell yeah had me spinning.
well, well, well.
as far as confusing dreams go, this one is tops.
check this out.
i dreamt last night.....
that i was still attached to hafiz.
and i was still good friends with imran.
so far, so good.
then it seemed like EVERYTIME we got bored we'll hang out.
me n imran, dat is.
hmm.
then one day i was like, in the neighbourhood or something n i went to his flat n just walked around, not knowing what to do.
then i saw him, at the void deck, msging someone from his phone and walking towards the bus- stop.
i approached him n asked where he was heading.
he looked surprised n replied, i was goin to meet u. i was msging u.
we both just stared at each other. it was pretty warped. like we both wanted to meet each other n met without knowing it.
then we hugged. awkwardly.
n i was like, im, wat's goin on here?
n he was, i dunno, i really dunno.
but we just sat n hugged like it was the rightest thing to do.
n we somehow came to the conclusion we sorta still had feelings but i wasn't sure.
he said something like, there must be something between us if everytime we feel bored, like something's missing, we meet up.
[i think this was more like what he feels than what i feel. cuz i dun feel like something's missing before i meet him or anything. in reality. n in the dream.]
i just kept quiet. but we were still holding each other.
it was all weird.
for those who know me well enough, this dream might have been pretty much predictable. so far.
then entered the shocker.
apparently what occured with imran was over the weekend.
so this is now monday, and we're all in school.
i was sitting on the floor somewhere, and there was this guy sitting on a chair right next to me.
ashik.
[he is a friend of mine, but more of a good friend of hafiz- in reality.]
if the fact that he was in my dream isn't shocking enough, read on.
he then bent down a little n hugged me. [i just realized the constant theme of hugging here.]
he kinda put his arms around me n went, i'm sorry i didn't get to call or msg u over the weekend. something cropped up.
weirdly, it felt good to have his arms around me. whuh?
and when he said what he said, i remembered that i did try contacting him over the weekend. more whuh?
i told him it was ok, but part of me felt guilty for the fact that i met imran instead over the weekend and had some sparks-ish thing with him.
i decided not to tell him. about the imran thing.
weirdly enough, throughout all this, i was supposedly still attached to hafiz. whuh...
confused?
join the club.
dreams are just dreams to me. but this one hell yeah had me spinning.